In my sermon today, I drew inspiration from the story in the book of Mark about a group of friends who, determined to help their paralyzed companion, tore off a roof to lower him to Jesus for healing. This act of love and determination set the stage for our discussion on how to love people well, especially those who are grieving the loss of a loved one.
I began by reflecting on Jesus' own experiences with loss, highlighting His reactions to the deaths of John the Baptist and Lazarus. Despite His divine foreknowledge and power to prevent or reverse death, Jesus mourned. He retreated to be alone with God after John's beheading, and He wept at Lazarus' tomb before resurrecting him. These responses underscore that grief is a natural and profound sorrow, not intended by God, who originally created us for eternal life without death or pain.
I then addressed the paralysis that can come from the fear of saying or doing the wrong thing when someone is grieving. I confessed my own failures in this area, emphasizing that our call is to act—to tear off the roof, so to speak, and help those in pain find healing in Jesus.
In the immediate aftermath of a loss, the bereaved may feel like their world has been destroyed, likening it to the devastation after a storm. I shared stories of how simple acts of service, such as sweeping a driveway or taking children shopping for funeral attire, can be profoundly helpful. The key is to show up and serve without expecting the grieving person to guide us on how to help.
I cautioned against saying things that are either biblically inaccurate or unhelpfully true. For example, telling someone their loved one has become an angel, or insisting they should feel joy as a fruit of the Spirit, can be hurtful rather than comforting. Instead, we should offer true biblical encouragement, acknowledging the reality of heaven and the ultimate end of pain for believers.
I also discussed the importance of acknowledging the loss, following the lead of the grieving person, and being present in their sorrow. It's okay to share in their humor or tears, and it's crucial to remember the person who has passed away. Even if the deceased was not a follower of Jesus, we can still offer comfort without compromising truth, leaning on God as our source of comfort.
Finally, I encouraged the church to be proactive in serving those who grieve, to share each other's burdens as commanded in Galatians 6, and to be the hands and feet of Jesus. We must be willing to do whatever it takes, even when it's inconvenient or uncomfortable.
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