The Love That Ignites Us | Pastor Marcus St.Julien | MOTIV8 Church

The Greek vocabulary separates love into distinct types, and eros appears as romantic desire, attraction, and passion rooted in God’s design rather than in brokenness. Eros originally functioned inside covenant and safety—Genesis portrays nakedness without shame as the baseline for intimacy, an expression meant to flourish where holiness and commitment provide a container. Cultural and ecclesial distortions shifted eros into two dangerous narratives: one of shame and one of fear—both of which produce marriages that perform but lack genuine passion, and singles who either idolize loneliness or misuse desire.

Desire itself receives defense: attraction does not equal sin; misuse and context determine damage. When passion operates without covenantal boundaries it produces chaos—power without protection wounds bodies, reshapes desire, and leaves long-term scars. Early exposure to eros through pornography, abuse, or church cover-ups entrenches trauma, teaching intimacy as shameful or transactional instead of sacred. That distortion creates soul-ties, misplaced idols, and relational patterns that repay deep longing with anxiety rather than safety.

Practical holiness and emotional stewardship receive clear attention. Dating becomes training; emotional and physical boundaries protect future covenant. Singles receive a call to steward desire responsibly rather than reduce the Savior to a romantic placeholder. Couples receive admonition to avoid using intimacy as currency for punishment and to sustain desire through presence, honest communication, and everyday acts of service. When intimacy gets skewed, confession, honest community, and therapeutic care stand as pathways to restoration.

Healing appears as both spiritual and practical: surrender to Christ remains the foundational act that reorients identity and desire, while counseling, accountability, and tangible boundaries serve as tools for renewal. The church’s role requires vigilance to protect children and vulnerable people, to expose abuse, and to offer resources that pair spiritual formation with professional help. Intimacy, when reclaimed within covenant and holiness, should lead to gratitude rather than shame.

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Key Takeaways

• 1. Eros belongs inside covenant safety Eros thrives where commitment and holiness create a container. Covenant provides the necessary boundaries that transform desire into worshipful union rather than into chaos or addiction. Without covenant, attraction becomes a raw power that seeks expression wherever opportunity appears, and that expression often injures. Reframing romantic longings as gifts for covenant disciplines the heart toward lasting fruit. [10:18]
• 2. Desire itself is not sinful Desire represents a created capacity that points toward relationship, not automatic failure. The moral question centers on direction, stewardship, and relational context—whether longing pursues covenant or chases momentary relief. Recognizing desire as neutral invites responsibility: cultivate it toward fidelity, not secrecy or shame. This perspective frees conscience from needless guilt while demanding spiritual maturity. [10:18]
• 3. Power without protection wounds Unchecked passion damages bodies and reshapes future desire, leaving trauma that masquerades as normal. Protective structures—boundaries, accountability rooted in Godward transformation, and covenantal commitment—turn potent energy into life-giving intimacy. Where protection fails, temptation exploits early exposure and teaches distorted forms of love that repeat across generations. Prioritizing protection prevents lasting harm. [21:38]
• 4. Healing requires confession and help Recovery from distorted intimacy asks for spiritual surrender and practical support, not private performance. Confession, trusted community care, and professional counseling or medical help create a pathway from shame to wholeness. Hiding susceptibility or excusing abuse perpetuates harm; honest steps toward healing break cycles and protect future generations. Reach for both prayerful surrender and vetted resources. [49:33]

Youtube Chapters

• [00:00] - Welcome
• [00:17] - Month of Love: Greek terms
• [00:42] - Storge & Philia recap
• [01:16] - Introducing eros: romantic desire
• [01:58] - Eros before sin: original design
• [02:46] - Idolizing trauma exposed
• [03:18] - Church’s misuse: shame and fear
• [05:18] - Passion needs a container
• [07:44] - Genesis: naked and unashamed
• [10:18] - Desire, covenant, and safety
• [17:41] - First Corinthians: run from sin
• [21:38] - Power without protection explained
• [35:45] - Practical boundaries for singles
• [49:33] - Care portal & resources
• [55:28] - Invitation: surrender and prayer

Bible reading
Genesis 2:24-25 (ESV)
Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.

1 Corinthians 6:18-20 (ESV)
Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

Observation questions

1. According to the Genesis passage, what was the original context and emotional state for intimacy in God's design?
2. What specific instruction does Paul give in 1 Corinthians 6 regarding sexual immorality, and what reason does he give for this command?
3. The sermon states that "desire itself is not sinful" but is a created capacity. What, then, determines whether it becomes damaging? [10:18]
4. What are the two primary ways the sermon says the church has historically mishandled the topic of *eros* love, and what were the results of each? [03:18]

Interpretation questions

1. The concept of being "naked and unashamed" extends beyond the physical. What does it mean for a couple to be emotionally and spiritually "naked" without shame or fear of being "not enough"? [09:20]
2. Paul says to "flee" sexual immorality rather than just resist it. Why is the imagery of flight more appropriate for this type of sin compared to others?
3. The sermon describes passion without a container as chaos, like a fire outside a fireplace. How do covenant, holiness, and commitment act as a "container" that transforms raw passion into life-giving intimacy? [05:18]
4. If intimacy within covenant is described as an act of worship, how does this perspective change one's view of physical relationship within marriage from something potentially shameful to something sacred? [12:52]

Application questions

1. Desire is a responsibility to be stewarded, not an enemy to be feared. For a single person, what is one practical emotional or physical boundary you can identify this week to protect your future covenant? [38:16]
2. Power without protection wounds and reshapes future desire. For those who have experienced intimacy out of context—through early exposure, abuse, or pornography—what is one step toward support and healing, such as utilizing a vetted counseling resource or confessing to a trusted leader? [49:33]
3. Using intimacy as a form of currency or punishment damages a marriage. In what practical ways, outside the bedroom, can you pursue emotional intimacy with your spouse this week through honest communication or acts of service? [45:30]
4. Dating is training for marriage, not a license to enjoy the fruits of covenant. If you are dating or engaged, what specific practice (e.g., avoiding private spaces, slowing the pace, going through pre-marital counseling) can you implement to honor the distinction between dating and covenant? [39:14]
5. The discovery of *eros* love too early or out of context can lead to a life of self-isolation or self-hatred. How can you actively reject the false guilt and shame associated with past trauma and begin to see yourself as God does—a person He desires to heal and restore? [28:10]
6. If your prayer life, fasting, or worship has dwindled because it was tied to a partner's spiritual walk, how can you take ownership this week of your personal, first-hand relationship with God, independent of anyone else? [04:09]
7. For those who are called to singleness, in what ways have you been tempted to see your season as a waiting room for marriage rather than a unique platform for ministry? How can you lean into the purpose and blessing God has for you right now? [37:43]