Love God's Design Part II

Devotional

Day 1: Love as a Seal—Permanent, Public, and Unquenchable

True love is meant to be both permanent and visible, marking the heart and life in a way that cannot be hidden or erased. Just as a seal or tattoo is a lasting sign of belonging and identity, so love in marriage and in faith is to be a constant reminder—both to ourselves and to others—of our commitment. This love is not fleeting or shallow; it is as strong as death, unyielding to the floods and storms of life. No matter what challenges arise, genuine love cannot be quenched or drowned out. It is a love that takes time to grow, is not rushed, and is meant to be cherished and protected. [05:54]

Song of Solomon 8:6-7 (ESV)
Set me as a seal upon your heart,
as a seal upon your arm,
for love is strong as death,
jealousy is fierce as the grave.
Its flashes are flashes of fire,
the very flame of the Lord.
Many waters cannot quench love,
neither can floods drown it.
If a man offered for love
all the wealth of his house,
he would be utterly despised.

Reflection: Is there a relationship in your life—marriage, friendship, or with God—where you need to make your love more visible and lasting? What is one way you can show that commitment today, both privately and publicly?

Day 2: Protecting Purity—Guarding Your Heart and Choices

Purity in relationships is not just about protecting oneself from others, but also about guarding one’s own heart and decisions. The community in Song of Solomon 8 speaks of building up walls or boundaries, not to keep others out, but to help the beloved remain steadfast and self-controlled. This means making wise choices, setting standards, and sometimes relying on the support of others to help us stay true to our values. It is about being a “wall” rather than a “door,” taking responsibility for our actions, and understanding that true favor and blessing come from self-control and integrity. [25:55]

Proverbs 4:23 (ESV)
Keep your heart with all vigilance,
for from it flow the springs of life.

Reflection: What boundaries or safeguards do you need to put in place to protect your heart and your relationships? Who can you invite to help you stay accountable in these areas?

Day 3: Preparing for Marriage—Building on Spiritual Maturity

Marriage is not just a contract, but a covenant that begins with spiritual maturity and a strong relationship with God. Before seeking a partner, it is essential to work on oneself—growing in faith, character, and readiness to bring something meaningful to the relationship. Trusting in the Lord’s guidance, rather than just following feelings or external pressures, is key. Preparation involves asking honest questions about motives, expectations, and what one is truly bringing to the table, ensuring that the foundation is built on God’s wisdom and not just personal desires. [45:48]

Proverbs 3:5-6 (ESV)
Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
and do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make straight your paths.

Reflection: What is one area of your life where you need to grow spiritually before considering a deeper commitment in a relationship? How can you take a step toward that growth this week?

Day 4: Faithfulness Before and After—Consistency in Character

The patterns and values we hold before marriage are strong indicators of what we will carry into marriage. Faithfulness, honesty, and integrity are not suddenly developed after a wedding—they are cultivated long before. Ignoring red flags or compromising on values in dating or courtship often leads to greater issues later. Choosing a partner with shared faith and values, and being honest about expectations, helps ensure that the relationship is built on a solid, trustworthy foundation. [59:00]

Amos 3:3 (ESV)
Do two walk together,
unless they have agreed to meet?

Reflection: Think about your current relationships or the way you approach new ones—are there any “red flags” or inconsistencies you’ve been ignoring? What is one step you can take to address these honestly and seek alignment in values?

Day 5: Love as Covenant—Not Contract

Marriage, and our relationship with God, is not a business contract based on “if you do this, then I will do that.” Instead, it is a covenant—a binding promise to love, serve, and remain faithful regardless of circumstances. This kind of love is not conditional or transactional, but rooted in commitment and grace. Just as God’s love for us is steadfast and unearned, so too should our love in marriage and faith reflect that same covenantal faithfulness, seeking to build a home and relationship that honors Him above all. [43:34]

Psalm 127:1 (ESV)
Unless the Lord builds the house,
those who build it labor in vain.
Unless the Lord watches over the city,
the watchman stays awake in vain.

Reflection: In what ways have you treated your relationships more like contracts than covenants? What is one promise or commitment you can make today to reflect God’s covenant love?

Sermon Summary

Love, whether in marriage or in our relationship with Christ, is not a fleeting feeling but a deep commitment marked by sacrifice, patience, and intimacy. True love is enduring, resilient, and public—it is something we are not ashamed to display, much like a seal or a tattoo that marks us permanently. In the Song of Solomon, we see love described as strong as death, unquenchable by any flood or trial. This is not the shallow affection of infatuation, but a love that matures and grows over time, moving from innocence to deep, faithful partnership.

In marriage, we are called to love our spouses with patience, gentleness, and forgiveness, protecting the purity and tenderness of our relationship. This mirrors our relationship with Christ, where we are called to cultivate intimacy through prayer and devotion, remaining faithful as His bride. The Song of Solomon uses the imagery of a wall and a door to teach us about boundaries and self-control. The community’s role is to help each other maintain these boundaries, not just to protect from external threats, but to guard against our own weaknesses and impulses.

Preparation for marriage is not just about finding the right person, but about becoming the right person. It is about spiritual maturity, self-examination, and asking ourselves what we bring to the table. Marriage is not a contract based on conditions, but a covenant—a binding promise to love regardless of circumstances. We must trust God in the process, seeking His direction rather than relying solely on our feelings or cultural pressures.

Choosing a partner is not about superficial qualities or fleeting attraction, but about shared faith, values, and a commitment to faithfulness. The patterns we establish before marriage—faithfulness, honesty, respect—are the patterns we will carry into marriage. We must not ignore red flags or expect that marriage will change someone’s character. Instead, we are called to build relationships on a foundation of friendship, shared faith, and mutual respect, always seeking God’s wisdom and guidance.

Key Takeaways

1. Love is a covenant, not a contract Love in marriage and with Christ is not based on conditions or transactions, but on a binding promise to remain faithful and committed regardless of circumstances. This covenantal love reflects God’s unwavering commitment to us and calls us to mirror that same steadfastness in our relationships. It is a love that endures trials and does not depend on the other’s performance. [43:34]
2. Guard your heart and set boundaries True love requires self-control and the wisdom to set healthy boundaries, both for ourselves and for those we care about. The community’s role is to help each other maintain these boundaries, recognizing that often the greatest threat comes from within—our own desires and weaknesses. Guarding our hearts is an act of spiritual maturity and self-respect, preparing us for lasting, faithful love. [25:55]
3. Faithfulness before marriage predicts faithfulness after The habits and values we cultivate before marriage—especially regarding faithfulness and self-control—are strong indicators of what we will bring into marriage. If we compromise on faithfulness or integrity before marriage, it is unlikely that marriage alone will transform those patterns. Lasting love is built on a foundation of trust and consistent character. [56:30]
4. Preparation is about becoming, not just finding Rather than focusing solely on finding the right partner, we are called to work on ourselves—growing spiritually, emotionally, and practically. We must ask ourselves what we bring to the table and seek God’s guidance in the process. Marriage is not the end goal, but the beginning of a journey that requires ongoing growth and commitment. [45:48]
5. Shared faith and values are essential Superficial attraction or even shared labels like “Christian” are not enough; true partnership requires alignment in core beliefs and values. We must look beyond appearances and words to discern whether we truly share the same vision for life and faith. This alignment is crucial for walking together in unity and building a marriage that honors God. [56:30]

Youtube Chapters

[00:00] - Welcome
[02:12] - Love as Commitment and Intimacy
[05:54] - The Meaning of the Seal
[08:49] - Public Affection and Patience in Love
[12:42] - Love Grows and Matures
[14:07] - From Wilderness to Intimacy
[19:04] - Community’s Role in Preparing for Marriage
[22:30] - Protecting from Ourselves
[25:55] - The Wall and the Door: Boundaries
[29:13] - Choosing Wisely and Self-Respect
[32:38] - Proclaiming Purity and Favor
[34:53] - Guarding Hearts and Helping Each Other
[37:15] - The Incomparable Value of Integrity
[41:12] - Preparing for Marriage: Key Questions
[43:34] - Marriage: Covenant vs. Contract
[45:48] - Spiritual Preparation and Trusting God
[49:54] - The Myth of “The One”
[54:14] - Beyond Superficial Attraction
[56:30] - Shared Faith and Red Flags
[59:00] - Character Before and After Marriage
[61:44] - Observing Character in Community
[65:21] - Marriage is the Beginning

Bible Study Guide

**Bible Study Discussion Guide: Love as Covenant, Not Contract**
*(Based on Song of Solomon 8 and supporting passages)*

---

### Bible Reading

**Song of Solomon 8:6-7 (ESV)**
> Set me as a seal upon your heart,
> as a seal upon your arm,
> for love is strong as death,
> jealousy is fierce as the grave.
> Its flashes are flashes of fire,
> the very flame of the Lord.
> Many waters cannot quench love,
> neither can floods drown it.
> If a man offered for love
> all the wealth of his house,
> he would be utterly despised.

**Ephesians 5:25 (ESV)**
> Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.

**Proverbs 4:23 (ESV)**
> Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.

---

### Observation Questions

In Song of Solomon 8:6-7, what does it mean for love to be “as strong as death” and “many waters cannot quench love”?
According to the sermon, what is the significance of the “seal” or “tattoo” imagery in describing love? [[05:54]]
How does Ephesians 5:25 describe the way a husband should love his wife? What is the comparison being made?
In Proverbs 4:23, what are we told to do with our hearts, and why is this important in the context of relationships?

---

### Interpretation Questions

The sermon says love is not a fleeting feeling but a deep commitment marked by sacrifice, patience, and intimacy. How does this understanding of love challenge common ideas about romance and marriage? [[02:12]]
The “seal upon your heart and arm” is described as something public and permanent. Why is it important for love to be both private (in the heart) and public (on the arm)? [[05:54]]
The community in Song of Solomon 8:8-10 is involved in helping set boundaries for the young woman. What does this say about the role of community in preparing for marriage and guarding purity? [[24:43]]
The sermon draws a parallel between faithfulness before marriage and faithfulness after marriage. Why do you think the patterns we set before marriage are so important for the future? [[56:30]]

---

### Application Questions

The sermon teaches that love in marriage and with Christ is a covenant, not a contract. In your own words, what is the difference between a contract and a covenant? How does this affect the way you view commitment in relationships? [[43:34]]
“Guard your heart and set boundaries” was a key point. What are some practical boundaries you have set (or need to set) in your relationships to protect your heart and honor God? Who helps you with this, and how can you help others? [[25:55]]
The sermon emphasized that preparation for marriage is about becoming the right person, not just finding the right person. What is one area of your character or spiritual life you feel God is calling you to grow in right now? [[45:48]]
Think about the patterns of faithfulness, honesty, and respect in your life. Are there any “red flags” or habits you need to address before entering into a deeper relationship? How can you start working on these areas this week? [[56:30]]
The message said that shared faith and values are essential for a strong marriage. How do you discern if someone truly shares your faith and values, beyond just saying they are a Christian? [[56:30]]
The sermon talked about the importance of community in helping each other maintain boundaries and make wise choices. Who in your life do you trust to speak truth to you about your relationships? How can you invite more accountability? [[34:53]]
If you are single, what are some ways you can focus on spiritual and personal growth during this season, rather than just searching for a partner? If you are married, how can you continue to grow in commitment, patience, and intimacy with your spouse? [[45:48]]

---

Sermon Clips

In marriage, one should love your spouse with patience, gentleness, and forgiveness. We should protect the purity and tenderness of our relationships, just as we are called to cultivate a personal and intimate relationship with God through prayer and devotion.

Set me as a seal upon thine heart—with me, I want to be so close to you that you always remember me, you never forget me. That’s the love we’re talking about, as a seal upon thine arm—so everyone can see it. That’s the kind of love God desires for us.

Many waters cannot quench love. It doesn’t matter how much you pull on something—if it’s weak, it’ll fall apart, but if it’s strong, the water doesn’t affect it at all. Floods can destroy houses and people fear them, but true love cannot be drowned. That’s the strength of real love.

They are talking about how to prepare her for the day that she is asked to be married—not after she’s married, but the day that someone asks to marry her. You don’t wait until your child is sixteen to start telling them what to do and what not to do. You do it now.

If she be a wall, we will build upon her a palace of silver, and if she is a door, we will enclose her with boards of cedar. They’re not protecting her from someone else—they’re protecting her from herself. You are in control of your own body.

If you find someone that you like, make sure that you remain a wall. And if by chance you’re not right now, you can start now. You can build that wall back up. He found favor in her because she was a wall. She was proud—she says, “I know I’m a wall.”

It is your responsibility to help her, and it’s your responsibility to help him. You help each other. When your friend says, “I met this guy and he wants me to come over to his dorm room,” you should say, “Don’t go over there.” You’ve got to protect each other.

What she has is even more important than what Solomon has. Nobody can buy it. Keep yourself to a place that you can be proud of—that you are who you are, and that nobody can cause you to make decisions that are not typically correct.

Build on friendship and shared faith. Choose a partner with shared values and faith. Just because someone says they’re Christian doesn’t mean the two of you share the same faith. Make sure your definition of Christianity and their definition of Christianity is the same.

Faithfulness before marriage predicts faithfulness after. If you and your boyfriend or girlfriend are having sex now and you know you’re not supposed to, what’s going to happen after you get married? The likelihood of stepping out is highly increased because there’s no value there.

Don’t expect—don’t see me doing one thing and expect me to do something different once I get married. That’s all I’m saying. If you’re willing to accept that, it’s okay, but if you’re not willing to accept it, don’t accept it on the front end and expect to change it on the back end.

If you are going to say, “I want a boyfriend or girlfriend,” then you need to be thinking about marriage. You need to have that conversation on the front end. Don’t start someplace and not know where you’re going to end. Don’t waste my time if you’re not planning on getting married, and I’m not going to waste your time.

The best place to find out what is marriage is not at the bar. It’s in church, where somebody will be honest. Marrying is not the end. Marriage is the beginning.

Ask a question about this sermon

Chatbot

What is the biblical view of love in marriage?

How does faithfulness before marriage influence future relationships?

What distinguishes a marriage covenant from a legal contract?