Love and Obedience: The Heart of Discipleship

Summary

Today, we explored the deep connection between love and obedience in the life of a follower of Jesus, especially as it relates to remaining in Him. Drawing from John 15 and Romans 6-7, we considered how true transformation comes not from mere rule-following or striving, but from a heart surrendered to Christ. The story of Sean and Grayson reminded us that allegiance to Jesus changes everything—our priorities, our identity, and even the flags we fly over our lives. Just as my father’s discipline in bodybuilding was rooted in love for the process, so our obedience to Jesus must be rooted in love, not fear or legalism.

Obedience often carries a negative connotation in our culture, as if it strips us of freedom. Yet, Scripture teaches that everyone is obeying something—either the desires of the flesh or the call of righteousness in Christ. True freedom is found not in doing whatever we want, but in surrendering to Jesus, who has already fulfilled the law on our behalf. When we obey out of love, we remain close to Him, experiencing His presence and the fullness of joy He promises.

We also addressed the dangers of both legalism (obedience without love) and “marshmallow grace” (love without obedience). Legalism leads to dead religion, while grace without obedience leads to a life unchanged by the gospel. The call is to hold both love and obedience together, understanding that Jesus’ commands are not burdensome because He has already accomplished what we could not. Our struggle with sin is real, but victory comes not by trying harder, but by surrendering more deeply and practicing the presence of God daily.

Ultimately, the invitation is to move beyond simply knowing about God to living a life with Him. This means cultivating a daily relationship, seeking His presence, and allowing His love to transform our desires and actions. The Christian life is too hard to live on our own strength or to only experience God on Sundays. God wants us to experience His presence every day, to be changed by Him, and to find our deepest satisfaction at His feet.

Key Takeaways

- Love and obedience are inseparable in the life of a disciple. Obedience without love leads to legalism and dead religion, while love without obedience results in a shallow, unchanged life. True spiritual maturity is found in holding both together, allowing love to fuel our obedience and obedience to deepen our love. [48:48]

- Everyone is obeying something—either the desires of the flesh or the call of righteousness in Christ. Real freedom is not found in self-rule, but in surrendering our will to Jesus, becoming “slaves to righteousness.” This shift in allegiance brings true liberation and purpose, as our identity is rooted in Christ rather than our own desires. [50:05]

- Disobedience does not change God’s love for us, but it does hinder our union and intimacy with Him. Like Adam and Eve in the garden, sin causes us to hide in shame, but Jesus invites us to run toward Him, not away. Confession and repentance restore our closeness, reminding us that God is often nearest to us in our brokenness. [52:05]

- The commands of Jesus are not burdensome because He has already fulfilled them on our behalf. Our righteousness is not earned by our efforts, but received by faith in Christ, whose “good enough” becomes our own. The struggle with sin remains, but victory is found not in trying harder, but in surrendering our will and practicing the presence of God. [01:01:10]

- Transformation comes through intimacy, not just information. Spiritual disciplines like prayer, Scripture, and community are vital, but the heart of change is loving to be with Jesus and seeking His presence daily. The Christian life is meant to be lived in ongoing relationship with God, where His presence brings joy, peace, and the power to overcome. [01:08:04]

Youtube Chapters

[00:00] - Welcome
[00:45] - Life Change: Sean and Grayson’s Story
[02:30] - Father’s Day Reflections and Discipline
[06:10] - The Power of Process: Love and Obedience
[09:30] - Why Obedience Feels Hard
[12:00] - What Are We Obeying?
[15:00] - Romans 6: Allegiance Shift
[18:00] - John 15: Remaining in Jesus’ Love
[21:00] - The Problem with Legalism
[24:00] - The Danger of “Marshmallow Grace”
[27:00] - The Commands of Jesus Are Not Burdensome
[30:00] - Why Is Obedience Still So Hard?
[34:00] - Surrendering the Will
[38:00] - Transformation Through Presence
[41:00] - Invitation to Daily Life with God
[44:00] - Closing Prayer and Blessing

Study Guide

Small Group Bible Study Guide: Love & Obedience—Remaining in Jesus

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### Bible Reading

- John 15:9-11
“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.”

- Romans 6:16-18
“Don’t you know that when you offer yourselves to someone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one you obey—whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness? But thanks be to God that, though you used to be slaves to sin, you have come to obey from your heart the pattern of teaching that has now claimed your allegiance. You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness.”

- 1 John 5:3
“In fact, this is love for God: to keep his commands. And his commands are not burdensome.”

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### Observation Questions

1. In John 15:9-11, what does Jesus say is the result of keeping his commands?
2. According to Romans 6:16-18, what are the two things everyone is a “slave” to, and what is the outcome of each?
3. The sermon described two “sand traps” in the Christian life: legalism and “marshmallow grace.” What does each of these look like in practice? [57:08]
4. According to 1 John 5:3, why are Jesus’ commands described as “not burdensome”?

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### Interpretation Questions

1. Why does Jesus connect remaining in his love with keeping his commands? What does this say about the relationship between love and obedience?
2. The sermon said, “Everyone is obeying something—either the desires of the flesh or the call of righteousness in Christ.” How does this challenge the idea that freedom means doing whatever we want? [50:05]
3. How can legalism (obedience without love) and “marshmallow grace” (love without obedience) both lead to spiritual problems? Why is it important to hold both love and obedience together? [57:08]
4. The pastor shared that victory over sin comes not by “trying harder,” but by “surrendering more deeply” and practicing God’s presence. What does it look like to surrender your will to God in daily life? [01:01:10]

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### Application Questions

1. The sermon shared a story about Sean’s “allegiance” changing from a political flag to a “King Jesus” flag. What “flags” or allegiances are most visible in your life right now? Is there an area where your allegiance needs to shift more toward Jesus? [48:48]
2. When you think about obedience, do you tend to see it as a loss of freedom or as a path to true freedom? Why? How does your view affect your willingness to obey Jesus? [50:05]
3. Are there areas in your life where you are obeying out of fear, habit, or to “check a box” rather than out of love for Jesus? What would it look like to let love fuel your obedience in those areas? [57:08]
4. The sermon warned against “marshmallow grace”—accepting God’s love but ignoring his commands. Is there a command of Jesus you find yourself ignoring or excusing? What is one step you can take to respond in obedience this week? [58:09]
5. The pastor said, “Disobedience does not change God’s love for us, but it does hinder our union and intimacy with Him.” Is there any unconfessed sin or area of disobedience that is keeping you from closeness with God? What would it look like to bring that into the light? [52:05]
6. The sermon emphasized that transformation comes through intimacy with Jesus, not just information about him. What is one practical way you can seek God’s presence daily this week—through prayer, Scripture, or another spiritual discipline? [01:08:04]
7. The pastor prayed for an “insatiable desire to be with Jesus.” What would it look like for you to cultivate that kind of desire? Are there distractions or habits you need to change to make more space for God’s presence in your daily life? [01:10:19]

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Devotional

Day 1: Love and Obedience Are Inseparable

True love for God is expressed through joyful obedience, and obedience is only genuine when it flows from love; these two cannot be separated, and together they form the foundation of a vibrant relationship with Jesus. When we obey God, not out of fear or duty, but because we love Him, we experience the fullness of His presence and the freedom that comes from aligning our lives with His will. This is not a burdensome or legalistic obedience, but a response to the love that God has already shown us in Christ. As we remain in His love, our hearts are transformed, and obedience becomes a natural outflow of our relationship with Him. [52:05]

John 15:9-10 (ESV)
“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love.”

Reflection: In what area of your life do you sense God inviting you to obey Him out of love rather than obligation, and how might responding in love change your experience of obedience today?


Day 2: Freedom Is Found in Surrendering to Righteousness

Everyone is a slave to something—either to sin or to righteousness—but true freedom is found when we surrender our will to Jesus and become slaves to righteousness, allowing His teaching to claim our deepest allegiance. Our culture often equates obedience with a loss of freedom, but the reality is that following our own desires leads to bondage, while surrendering to Christ brings liberation and purpose. When we choose to obey from the heart, our allegiance shifts, and we are set free from the power of sin to live in the joy and peace of God’s kingdom. [50:05]

Romans 6:17-18 (ESV)
“But thanks be to God, that you who were once slaves of sin have become obedient from the heart to the standard of teaching to which you were committed, and, having been set free from sin, have become slaves of righteousness.”

Reflection: What is one desire or habit you need to surrender to Jesus today in order to experience the true freedom that comes from being a slave to righteousness?


Day 3: Obedience Without Love Is Legalism; Love Without Obedience Is License

A life of faith must avoid the traps of legalism—obeying without love—and license—claiming love without obedience; God desires a relationship where our actions are motivated by love, and our love is proven by our actions. When we obey without love, our faith becomes empty ritual, and when we claim love without obedience, we cheapen grace and remain unchanged. God calls us to a mature discipleship that is marked by both increasing love and growing obedience, so that our lives are transformed and we reflect His character to the world. [57:08]

Isaiah 1:13-14 (ESV)
“Bring no more vain offerings; incense is an abomination to me. New moon and Sabbath and the calling of convocations—I cannot endure iniquity and solemn assembly. Your new moons and your appointed feasts my soul hates; they have become a burden to me; I am weary of bearing them.”

Reflection: Are there any spiritual practices or habits in your life that have become empty rituals? How can you invite God to rekindle love and meaning in those areas today?


Day 4: Victory Over Sin Comes Through Surrender, Not Striving

We cannot overcome sin by trying harder or relying on our own willpower; true victory comes as we surrender more deeply to Jesus, practice His presence, and allow His divine power to transform our desires and actions. The struggle with sin is real, but God has given us everything we need for a godly life through His Spirit and His promises. As we focus on Jesus and cultivate intimacy with Him, our appetites and pursuits are changed, and we find the strength to walk in freedom and righteousness. [01:06:58]

2 Peter 1:3-4 (ESV)
“His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence, by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire.”

Reflection: What is one area where you have been striving in your own strength to overcome sin? How can you intentionally surrender that area to Jesus and seek His presence today?


Day 5: The Goal Is Intimacy With God, Not Just Information About Him

God’s deepest desire is for you to experience His presence daily, not just to know about Him but to live in relationship with Him, where transformation and joy are found. The Christian life is not meant to be lived on information alone, but in the ongoing, life-changing experience of God’s nearness. As you practice being with Jesus, thinking with Him rather than just about Him, you will find peace, security, and the fulfillment of your deepest desires. [01:10:19]

Psalm 16:11 (ESV)
“You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.”

Reflection: How can you intentionally practice the presence of God today—whether through prayer, worship, or simply inviting Him into your daily moments—so that you experience intimacy with Him beyond Sunday mornings?

Quotes

And can we please, for a moment this morning, then get rid of the negative connotation that obedience has around it. I feel it even as I speak. I felt it as I was writing this message, right? This tension of this word, obedience. I feel it as I speak to my daughter about it. We obey the first time all the way with a happy heart. And even as I ask her to repeat that back to me every day before I leave the house as the babysitter is there, so she does not harass her, like I feel this tension in my soul. And I'm like, what is this within us that doesn't like the word obey? What is it?Well, to be honest, I think it's a cultural thing.I believe studies would tell us that obedience for us makes us feel like we are losing our freedom.And in this individualistic type of society where we are self -made, where we are self -dependent, we don't like someone telling us obey the rules because we feel like freedom is being stripped away. But let's be honest here. We are all obeying something.We are all slaves to something, the Bible would tell us. [00:49:17] (70 seconds) Edit Clip

Romans 6, Paul writes, and he tells us like this, though you used to be slaves to sin, remember that phrase used to, you have come to obey, where? From your heart, there's your love, the pattern of teaching that has now claimed your allegiance. You see, Sean's allegiance changed. The pattern of teaching, which is the gospel, which is obeying Jesus, has now claimed our allegiance. We are now allegiant to King Jesus. Our alliance has changed. Then he says, you have been set free from sin, and have become what? Slaves to righteousness.We are now slaves to righteousness. And so everybody's obeying something. [00:50:58] (41 seconds) Edit Clip

Christians have beliefs about God, but are mostly unchanged by their faith.Disciples have lives with God and become increasingly mature.And so here's my question to you, if you've been following Jesus for even more than a year, are you more loving? Are you more mature? Are you more spiritually and emotionally mature than when you started? Or do you just simply know more about God?Being a Christian, but not a disciple, knowing how to think about God, but never thinking with God. That's one sand trap. The other sand trap is love without obedience. My wife coins it as marshmallow grace.It's accepting love, but rejecting obedience. [00:57:39] (48 seconds) Edit Clip

First John chapter five, verse three says it this way. Loving God means keeping his commandments and his commandments are not burdensome. Wow.He says his commands aren't heavy laden. He says, take on my yoke. My yoke is easy. My burden is light.And so how aren't they burdensome?The commands of God are not burdensome because Jesus has already fulfilled them. Every law, every prophet, every commandment, everything that God designed us perfectly in his image to live by, to have dominion throughout the whole world, to live this perfect life that we failed to live. Jesus came and he did it. And then he died the death that we should have died as a result of our sin. And then he raised to new life. And God says that when we believe in Christ Jesus, our lives are now hidden in him and his good enough becomes our good enough. Therefore, when we sin, we can ask God to forgive us. And he does because we are hidden in Christ Jesus. So when we look in the mirror, God doesn't see us. God sees his son, Jesus, whose blood is poured out over our sin and over our brokenness. [00:59:56] (72 seconds) Edit Clip

Romans 10 verse 4, I would highlight this if I were.you and your Bible for Christ has already accomplished the purpose for which the law was given for Christ has already accomplished the purpose for which the law was given and as a result all who believe in him are made right with God this is righteousness we are made right with God we cannot walk into the presence of God because we are clothed with Christ Jesus we cannot have relationship with God the Father because we are made right with him through the blood death burial and resurrection of Christ Jesus we are made right with God because of Christ Jesus. [01:01:16] (42 seconds) Edit Clip

Jesus' call for us to remain in his love is a call for us to love being with him.It's a call for us to love practicing his presence, to think about him often. It's a call to think with God, not about God, friends.It's a call to relationship, not isolation. It's a call to transformation, not information. [01:07:58] (23 seconds) Edit Clip