5 10 26 - Losing Myself | Week 1: This Isn't the Life I Ordered

We tell of a life turned upside down by an unexpected pregnancy, a difficult medical course, and the raw emptiness that followed a traumatic birth. We admit how quickly control slips and how desperate the search for identity becomes when plans collapse. We trace Moses from hidden infant to palace child, from an impulsive defender of the oppressed to a runaway in Midian, and we watch how displacement and failure shape him. We point to the moment Jesus frames the trade at the heart of faith: trying to save our lives by self-making destroys true life, while losing our life for him reveals the identity we were made for. We show how the midwives’ fear of God and a mother’s risky trust preserved God’s people, and how Moses’ story keeps pointing away from self-determination to belonging to God. We insist that identity does not spring from relentless self-searching or cultural coaching but from surrender to the I Am, whose aim for us restores purpose, steadies our longings, and reorders our choices.

We describe how belonging forms through concrete relationships: a gathered community that speaks truth, carries wounds, and reminds us who we are when we forget. We hold up the church as a place where imperfect people disciple one another into the shape of Christ and where finding people can steady a wandering heart. We offer a practical invitation to place trust in Jesus, to confess the need for his mercy, and to step into the rhythms that form disciples: prayer, community, and simple next steps. We provide resources for those deciding to follow and invite anyone searching to come forward in prayer, to sit with God, or to connect with others who will walk the path of becoming. Ultimately we claim that the life we did not order may become the soil out of which God forms our true self when we follow the I Am.

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Key Takeaways

• 1. Identity forms through following God We discover who we are not by excavating inner resources but by aligning our lives under the authority of the I Am. When we follow God, our decisions and desires find their true aim and become means of formation rather than frantic projects. This redefines success and frees us from the tyranny of self-invention. [27:04]
• 2. Belonging shapes purpose and resilience Belonging supplies a grammar for identity that outlasts fickle feelings and public image. When a community receives our failures and points us back to God, purpose grows out of shared story and mutual grace. This steadying presence lets us endure seasons that feel like exile. [44:21]
• 3. Surrender undoes self made identity Surrender asks us to stop manufacturing our worth and instead submit to a Lord who authors our name and story. That surrender costs comfort and control but opens access to the life Jesus promises: not less reality but truer life. The paradox of gaining by losing reframes ambition into discipleship. [27:25]
• 4. Community reveals and refines us Relationships expose the life we claim and test the life we live; they both affirm and correct. When people gather to care, confront, and celebrate, they form the crucible where Christ reshapes loyalties and practice. Community thus functions as a means of sanctification, not merely social preference. [41:59]

Youtube Chapters

• [00:00] - Welcome
• [20:56] - A friendship on Old Smokey
• [23:02] - The pregnancy test that changed everything
• [24:35] - Labor complications and NICU
• [27:04] - Big idea: Follow the I Am
• [29:12] - Exodus background and God’s protection
• [33:08] - Moses defends and consequences follow
• [35:21] - Moses flees to Midian, a foreign life
• [44:21] - Finding belonging in community
• [46:58] - Invitation to follow and pray
• [60:50] - Resources and next steps

Bible Reading
Exodus 1:17-19 (ESV)
"But the midwives feared God and did not do as the king of Egypt commanded them, but let the male children live. So the king of Egypt called the midwives and said to them, 'Why have you done this, and let the male children live?' The midwives said to Pharaoh, 'Because the Hebrew women are not like the Egyptian women, for they are vigorous and give birth before the midwife comes to them.'"

Exodus 2:11-15a (ESV)
"One day, when Moses had grown up, he went out to his people and looked on their burdens, and he saw an Egyptian beating a Hebrew, one of his people. He looked this way and that, and seeing no one, he struck down the Egyptian and hid him in the sand. When he went out the next day, behold, two Hebrews were struggling together. And he said to the man in the wrong, 'Why do you strike your companion?' He answered, 'Who made you a prince and a judge over us? Do you mean to kill me as you killed the Egyptian?' Then Moses was afraid, and said, 'Surely the thing is known.' When Pharaoh heard of it, he sought to kill Moses. But Moses fled from Pharaoh and stayed in the land of Midian."

Matthew 16:25 (ESV)
"For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it."

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Observation questions

1. What reason did the Hebrew midwives give Pharaoh for not killing the male babies? How did their actions reflect their priorities?
2. In Exodus 2:11-15, what two conflicts did Moses try to resolve, and how did others respond to his intervention?
3. How does the sermon describe the impact of joining a church community on the speaker’s sense of identity and resilience? [44:21]
4. What practical invitation does Matthew 16:25 extend to those seeking purpose?

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Interpretation questions

1. Why might the midwives’ decision to lie to Pharaoh (Exodus 1:19) be seen as an act of faithfulness rather than disobedience?
2. Moses’ impulsive act of violence led to his exile. How does this moment reveal the limitations of self-reliance in pursuing justice?
3. The sermon claims, “Surrender asks us to stop manufacturing our worth” [27:25]. How does Matthew 16:25 redefine what it means to “save” or “lose” one’s life?
4. How might belonging to a community that “receives our failures” (as described in the sermon) counteract cultural messages about self-made identity?

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Application questions

1. Where are you currently trying to “save your life” by clinging to control, plans, or self-made success? What would surrendering that area to Jesus look like this week?
2. The midwives risked their safety to protect others. Is there a situation in your life where God might be calling you to act courageously, even if it costs you comfort?
3. The speaker describes how joining a church community steadied her during crisis [44:21]. Who in your life consistently points you back to God’s truth when you feel lost? How could you deepen that relationship?
4. Moses’ identity shifted from prince to fugitive to God’s servant. What unexpected “foreign land” (like a job, relationship, or season) are you navigating now? How might God use it to shape your true identity?
5. What “rhythm” (prayer, community, serving) do you need to prioritize to move from self-striving to surrender? Name one practical step to start.
6. When have you felt pressured to “manufacture your worth” through achievements or approval? How could memorizing Matthew 16:25 reframe your daily choices?