Living the Golden Rule: Empathy and Grace

We live in a world that is deeply divided and quick to judge, but Jesus calls us to a radically different way of living—one marked by curiosity, compassion, and grace. The heart of this teaching is the Golden Rule: “Do to others as you would like them to do to you.” This isn’t about loving others in a self-centered way or simply giving people what they want. Instead, it’s about stepping into another person’s shoes, seeing life through their eyes, feeling with their feelings, and then asking, “If the tables were turned, how would I want to be treated?” This is the way Jesus loved us—He entered our world, experienced our pain, and gave Himself sacrificially for our sake.

To help us live this out, I introduced the idea of “golden rule glasses.” Just as sunglasses protect our eyes and give us a new perspective, golden rule glasses protect our hearts from judgment and help us see others with curiosity and empathy. When we’re tempted to judge—whether it’s the driver who cuts us off, our spouse after a hard day, or a friend in crisis—we’re called to pause, put on our golden rule glasses, and respond with grace instead of condemnation.

But why is it so hard to live this way? Research shows that we have a natural negativity bias and a tendency to glamorize cynicism, believing that judgmental people are smarter or more insightful. In reality, judgmental and cynical people are less happy, more isolated, and less accurate in their assessments. Jesus knew this long before the researchers did. He warns us not to judge, because judgment blinds us to our own faults and damages our relationships.

Jesus uses the vivid image of trying to remove a speck from someone else’s eye while ignoring the log in our own. The issues that most irritate us in others often reveal something about ourselves. Instead of rushing to judge, we’re called to ask, “Why does this bother me so much? How might I struggle with the same thing?” This courageous curiosity is the birthplace of transformation.

Finally, Jesus teaches that the measure of grace we give is the measure we’ll receive. We’re to pour out grace generously—pressed down, shaken together, running over—just as God has poured out grace on us. When we live this way, we not only reflect Jesus to the world, but we also create a ripple effect of kindness, trust, and love that can truly change our communities.

Key Takeaways

• 1. The Golden Rule is not about self-centered love or simply giving people what they want. It’s about genuine empathy—stepping into another’s experience, seeing through their eyes, and asking how we would want to be treated if we were in their place. This kind of love requires intentional curiosity and a willingness to move beyond our own perspective. [31:27]
• 2. Judgment is a spiritual cancer that blinds us to reality and damages every relationship we have. Jesus warns that we are not qualified to make final pronouncements on others’ motives or hearts—only God can do that. When we judge, we not only harm others but also isolate ourselves and become less able to see our own faults. [36:39]
• 3. Our culture glamorizes cynicism and judgment, believing that critical people are wiser or more discerning. However, both Jesus and modern research show that true wisdom is found in kindness, curiosity, and love. When we choose to trust and extend grace, we invite others to respond in kind, creating a positive cycle of trust and goodness. [40:36]
• 4. The issues that most irritate us in others often reveal something about ourselves. Jesus’ teaching about the speck and the log challenges us to ask, “Why does this bother me so much? How might I struggle with the same thing?” This courageous self-examination is the birthplace of humility and transformation, breaking the cycle of judgment. [46:14]
• 5. The measure of grace we give is the measure we receive. Jesus calls us to be extravagantly generous with grace—pressed down, shaken together, running over—just as He has been with us. When we pour out grace, we not only bless others but also open ourselves to receive even more grace in return, creating a community marked by love and forgiveness. [55:44]

Youtube Chapters

• [00:00] - Welcome
• [02:00] - The Global Roots of Rooted
• [04:30] - Ted Lasso and the Power of Curiosity
• [10:00] - The Golden Rule: Jesus’ Radical Call
• [14:30] - What the Golden Rule Is—and Isn’t
• [18:00] - Seeing Through Another’s Eyes
• [22:00] - Golden Rule Glasses: A Daily Practice
• [27:00] - Real-Life Examples of Grace
• [31:27] - Why Judgment Destroys Us
• [36:39] - The Negativity Bias and Cynical Genius Syndrome
• [40:36] - Research Confirms Jesus’ Wisdom
• [43:57] - Focusing on the Negative vs. Reality
• [46:14] - The Speck and the Log: Courageous Curiosity
• [48:48] - David and Nathan: A Biblical Case Study
• [55:44] - The Measure of Grace
• [59:18] - Closing Prayer and Blessing
• [67:17] - Benediction and Sending

Bible Reading

Luke 6:31-38 (ESV) — 31 And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.
32 “If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them.
33 And if you do good to those who do good to you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners do the same.
34 And if you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, to get back the same amount.
35 But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil.
36 Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful.
37 “Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven;
38 give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.”

Observation Questions

1. According to Jesus in Luke 6:31, what is the “Golden Rule” and how does He say we should treat others?
2. In the sermon, what are “golden rule glasses” and what two main things do they help us do? [[31:27]]
3. What vivid image does Jesus use to describe the problem of judging others, and what does it mean? [[36:39]]
4. What does Jesus say about the measure of grace we give to others? [[55:44]]

Interpretation Questions

1. The sermon says the Golden Rule is not about self-centered love or just giving people what they want. What does it mean to “step into another person’s shoes” and why is that important for following Jesus? [[31:27]]
2. Why does Jesus warn us not to judge others? What are some of the dangers of being judgmental, according to both Jesus and the research mentioned in the sermon? [[36:39]]
3. The sermon talks about the “speck and the log” in our eyes. Why do the things that irritate us most in others often reveal something about ourselves? [[46:14]]
4. What does it look like to give grace “pressed down, shaken together, running over” in real life? How is this different from just being “nice” or “fair”? [[55:44]]

Application Questions

1. Think of a recent situation where you were tempted to judge someone (maybe a driver, a coworker, or a family member). What would it look like to “put on your golden rule glasses” in that moment? How might your response change? [[31:27]]
2. The sermon says our culture glamorizes cynicism and judgment, believing that critical people are smarter. Have you ever found yourself admiring or imitating someone because they seemed “smart” by being critical? How can you shift your focus toward kindness and curiosity instead? [[40:36]]
3. When you notice yourself getting really upset or judgmental about someone else’s behavior, what would it look like to pause and ask, “Why does this bother me so much? How might I struggle with the same thing?” Can you think of a specific example from your life? [[46:14]]
4. The sermon says the measure of grace we give is the measure we receive. Are there people in your life to whom you tend to give only a “thimble” of grace instead of a “bucket”? What would it look like to be extravagantly generous with grace toward them this week? [[55:44]]
5. The “golden rule glasses” are a daily practice. What is one practical way you can remind yourself to put them on—especially in moments of stress or conflict? [[31:27]]
6. The sermon mentions that judgmental and cynical people are often less happy and more isolated. Have you noticed this in your own life or relationships? How might extending more grace and curiosity change your sense of connection with others? [[40:36]]
7. Jesus modeled the Golden Rule by entering our world and experiencing our pain. Is there someone in your life who needs you to step into their shoes this week? What is one thing you can do to show them empathy and grace? [[31:27]]