Living in Love: Honoring a Life of Service

Summary

Living in love means living a life that leaves a mark of gratitude, service, and strength. Today, we reflect on the life of Sheila Collins Smalls, a woman whose presence was a radiant light among us, much like Phoebe in Romans 16. Paul’s commendation of Phoebe is not just a historical note, but a spiritual blueprint for a life worth commending—a life that serves, supports, and stands in solidarity with the gospel. In a world that often overlooks the quiet strength and sincere service of women, Paul’s intentional mention of Phoebe, and our remembrance of Sheila, remind us that God values the unseen, the unheralded, and the faithful.

Grief and gratitude are not opposites; they are companions on the journey of faith. Even as we mourn, we are called to recognize that every life is a gift from God, and the best way to honor that gift is with a grateful heart. Sheila’s life was a testimony to this truth. She served with sincerity, not for recognition, but out of a genuine desire to bless others. Her strength was not loud or boastful, but steady and unwavering, holding others up even in her own seasons of challenge. She was a helper, a supporter, and a source of encouragement, embodying the quiet power of grace.

The true achievement in life is not found in titles or accolades, but in having one’s name written in the Lamb’s Book of Life. Sheila’s legacy is not just in what she did, but in who she was—a servant whose works follow her, a woman whose strength was rooted in her relationship with God, and a soul who now rests in satisfaction, awaiting the crown of righteousness promised to all who love Christ’s appearing. As we commend her back to God, we are reminded that our hope is not in earthly commendations, but in the eternal reward that awaits all who serve with sincerity and stand with strength.

Key Takeaways

- Grief and gratitude can coexist. The tears we shed for those we lose are not a denial of God’s goodness, but a testament to the depth of the gift we were given. To worship and give thanks even in sorrow is to let a grateful heart remind a grieving soul that God’s grace allowed us to share in a life that always belonged to Him. [01:43:11]

- A commendable life is marked by sincere service. True servants do not seek recognition or applause; their hands work and their hearts remain open, blessing others quietly and consistently. The legacy of such a life is not measured by public accolades, but by the testimonies of those who were touched by their sincerity. [01:55:50]

- Strength is often quiet and steadfast, not loud or showy. Real strength is found in the resolve to keep showing up, to keep praising, and to keep trusting God even when life is hard. It is the grace to hold things together for others, to support and encourage, even when one’s own burdens are heavy. [01:59:51]

- The ultimate achievement is to have one’s name written in the Lamb’s Book of Life. Earthly commendations fade, but the eternal reward for those who trust in Christ and serve faithfully is a crown of righteousness. This is the true measure of a life well-lived and the hope that sustains us in loss. [02:05:20]

- Our lives are gifts, and the best response is gratitude. Every moment, every relationship, every opportunity to serve is a grace from God. To live with a grateful heart is to recognize that we are stewards, not owners, of the blessings we receive, and to commend those we love back to God with thanksgiving and trust. [01:48:13]

Youtube Chapters

[00:00] - Welcome
[01:34:40] - Expressions of Love
[01:40:09] - Reading Romans 16:1-2
[01:43:11] - Grief, Gratitude, and the Gift of Life
[01:48:13] - Remembering Sheila’s Impact
[01:49:42] - Parallels Between Sheila and Phoebe
[01:50:24] - The Radical Commendation of Phoebe
[01:53:08] - Sheila’s Radiance and Purpose
[01:53:54] - Serving with Sincerity
[01:55:50] - The Motives Behind Service
[01:58:19] - Standing with Strength
[01:59:51] - Quiet Strength and Steadfast Faith
[02:01:21] - Strength Rooted in Grace
[02:03:46] - The Satisfaction of a Life Well-Lived
[02:05:20] - The Highest Commendation
[02:09:06] - The Crown of Righteousness
[02:14:06] - Commending Sheila to God
[02:15:25] - Prayer for the Family
[02:16:13] - Closing Instructions and Benediction

Study Guide

Bible Study Discussion Guide: Living in Love—A Life Worth Commending

---

### Bible Reading

- Romans 16:1-2
"I commend to you Phoebe, our sister, who is a servant of the church in Cenchrea, that you may receive her in the Lord in a manner worthy of the saints and assist her in whatever business she has need of you; for indeed she has been a helper of many and of myself also."

- Job 1:21
"The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord."

- 2 Timothy 4:7-8
"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing."

---

### Observation Questions

1. According to Romans 16:1-2, what specific roles and qualities does Paul highlight about Phoebe?
2. In the sermon, what are some ways Sheila’s life was compared to Phoebe’s? ([01:49:42])
3. What does the phrase “the Lord gives, and the Lord takes away” (Job 1:21) mean in the context of grief and gratitude as discussed in the sermon? ([01:48:13])
4. What is the “crown of righteousness” that Paul talks about in 2 Timothy 4:7-8, and how does the sermon connect this to Sheila’s legacy? ([02:09:06])

---

### Interpretation Questions

1. Why do you think Paul chose to begin his list of commendations in Romans 16 with Phoebe, especially considering the cultural context of women often being overlooked? ([01:50:24])
2. The sermon says, “Grief and gratitude are not opposites; they are companions on the journey of faith.” What does it mean for these two emotions to coexist, and how might that shape the way we mourn? ([01:43:11])
3. The pastor describes Sheila’s strength as “quiet and steadfast, not loud or showy.” What does this teach us about the nature of true strength in the Christian life? ([01:59:51])
4. The sermon emphasizes that the ultimate achievement is to have one’s name written in the Lamb’s Book of Life. How does this perspective challenge the way we measure success and legacy? ([02:05:20])

---

### Application Questions

1. The sermon highlights that “true servants do not seek recognition or applause.” In what areas of your life are you tempted to serve for recognition? How can you shift your motives toward sincere service? ([01:55:50])
2. Think of a time when you experienced both grief and gratitude at the same time. How did you see God’s grace in that season, and how might you encourage someone else who is grieving now? ([01:43:11])
3. Sheila’s strength was described as “quiet, steady, and unwavering.” Are there situations in your life right now where you need to show this kind of strength? What would it look like to “keep showing up” even when it’s hard? ([01:59:51])
4. The sermon says, “Every life is a gift from God, and the best way to honor that gift is with a grateful heart.” What is one practical way you can express gratitude for the people God has placed in your life this week? ([01:48:13])
5. The pastor mentioned that “the legacy of such a life is not measured by public accolades, but by the testimonies of those who were touched by their sincerity.” Who in your life has quietly impacted you, and how can you let them know the difference they’ve made? ([01:56:57])
6. The ultimate achievement is to have your name written in the Lamb’s Book of Life. How does this truth affect your daily priorities and the way you invest your time and energy? ([02:05:20])
7. The sermon reminds us that we are “stewards, not owners, of the blessings we receive.” Is there a blessing in your life that you need to hold more loosely or offer back to God in trust? ([01:48:13])

---

Closing Prayer Suggestion:
Thank God for the gift of life, for the examples of sincere service and quiet strength, and ask for help to live with gratitude, serve with sincerity, and stand with strength, just as Sheila and Phoebe did.

Devotional

Day 1: A Life Worth Commending

A life worth commending is one that is marked by sincere service, unwavering support, and a radiant spirit that blesses others. Such a life is not measured by accolades or public recognition, but by the quiet, consistent acts of love and faithfulness that leave a lasting impact on those around us. When we serve with sincerity, our motives are pure, and our actions become a blessing rather than a burden. The legacy of a commendable life is not found in titles or certificates, but in the testimony of those who have been touched by our kindness and strength. May we strive to live in such a way that our works speak for us, and our presence reflects the light and love of Christ. [01:55:50]

Romans 16:1-2 (NKJV)
I commend to you Phoebe our sister, who is a servant of the church in Cenchrea, that you may receive her in the Lord in a manner worthy of the saints, and assist her in whatever business she has need of you; for indeed she has been a helper of many and of myself also.

Reflection: Who in your life has quietly served and supported you or your community, and how can you honor or encourage them today in a tangible way?


Day 2: Gratitude in Grief

There is a profound spiritual connection between our tears and our thankfulness; even in seasons of loss, gratitude can rise from the depths of our sorrow. To worship God for the life of someone while we weep their loss is to let a grateful heart remind a grieving soul that every life is a gift from God. When we remember that those we love belong first to God, we find strength to bless His name even as we mourn. Gratitude does not erase pain, but it transforms our perspective, allowing us to celebrate the blessing of having shared in the life of another, even if only for a season. [01:48:13]

Job 1:21 (ESV)
And he said, “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.”

Reflection: In the midst of your own grief or loss, can you name one specific way you have seen God’s goodness or grace, and offer a prayer of thanks for that gift today?


Day 3: Serving with Sincerity

True service is not about being seen or celebrated, but about meeting the needs of others with a willing heart and open hands. Sincere service is marked by humility, reliability, and a spirit that seeks to bless rather than to be recognized. When we serve with sincerity, our actions become a testimony that outlives us, and our legacy is written in the lives we touch. Even when our efforts seem small or unnoticed, God sees and values every act of love done in His name. [01:58:19]

Matthew 6:3-4 (ESV)
But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.

Reflection: What is one act of service you can do today for someone else, not for recognition, but simply out of love and sincerity?


Day 4: Standing with Strength

Strength is not always loud or visible; often, it is the quiet resolve to keep showing up, to keep praising God, and to keep supporting others even when life is hard. Real strength is found in trusting God’s presence and grace through every trial, knowing that His strength is made perfect in our weakness. When we stand with strength, we become a source of support and encouragement for others, helping to carry them through their own dark seasons. [02:02:07]

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 (ESV)
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Reflection: Where do you feel weak or weary right now, and how can you invite God’s strength and grace into that specific area of your life today?


Day 5: The Ultimate Commendation

For those who trust in Jesus Christ, the highest commendation is not an earthly award, but having your name written in the Lamb’s Book of Life and receiving the crown of righteousness from the Lord Himself. This eternal reward is given not for status or achievement, but for faithfulness, service, and love for Christ. The hope of this commendation gives us courage to persevere, knowing that our true reward awaits us in God’s presence, where every tear will be wiped away and every faithful servant will be welcomed home. [02:09:06]

Revelation 21:3-4 (ESV)
And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”

Reflection: How does the promise of eternal life and God’s ultimate commendation shape the way you live and serve others today?

Quotes

There's a spiritual connection between our tears and our thankfulness. There's a connection, family, between your cries and your celebration. There's a connection between your weeping and your worshiping. [01:46:32] (00:00:19 seconds)  #TearsToThankfulness Edit Clip

To worship God for the life of a person while you're weeping the loss of that person, to be thankful for the life of that person while you have tears in your eyes thinking about that person—church, that is nothing more than a grateful heart reminding a grieving soul that God was good and God was gracious enough to let all of us share in the life, listen, that always belonged to him. [01:46:50] (00:00:44 seconds)  #GratefulGrieving Edit Clip

She was strong, not always in body, but always strong in spirit. That Sheila was one who helped carry people through their dark seasons. She spoke up when other folks stayed silent. She could hold things together even through taking care of aging parents and looking after nieces and nephews and looking after her own health. She could hold it together not just with grit, but she could hold it together with grace. [01:59:42] (00:00:41 seconds)  #QuietUnwaveringStrength Edit Clip

But it's shown in the resolve to after all you've been through, after all that life has thrown at you, you keep showing up. You keep your hands lifted up. You keep your heart filled with the praise of God. [02:01:03] (00:00:22 seconds)  #StrengthThroughFaith Edit Clip

She always stood with strength and she stood with strength, church, because she knew that her life was gripped by grace. She knew that she was in relationship with a God who said, when you pass through waters, I'll be with you. When you go through floods, they won't overtake you. [02:01:36] (00:00:22 seconds)  #SincereServiceRest Edit Clip

She knew that she was gripped by the grace of a God who said, be not weary in well-doing for in due season you'll reap something if you don't faint and you can stand with strength, church, when you know that you're in a relationship with a God who always reminds you that no matter how low you get, my grace is sufficient and my strength is made perfect in your weakness for when you are weak that's when you are strong. [02:02:11] (00:00:49 seconds)  #LifeOrderedByWord Edit Clip

If you trust in Jesus Christ, like Phoebe, you can get your name written down in a book. That's the reason we celebrate today. Because we know Sheila's name was written down in a book. [02:04:50] (00:00:21 seconds)  #GatheredInGlory Edit Clip