Living as Exiles: Embracing Honor in Christ

In a world obsessed with honor and shame, it’s easy to forget the water we swim in. Our culture, like the world of Peter’s first readers, is shaped by systems that reward public honor and punish with public shame. Whether it’s the social hierarchy of a high school, the viral shaming on social media, or the tribalism of our politics, we are constantly tempted to seek validation from others and to justify ourselves by shaming those outside our group. Yet, Peter calls us to a radically different way of being: to live as exiles, as those who don’t quite fit, because our true identity is rooted in Christ.

This identity is not based on our ability to gain honor or avoid shame, but on the honor Christ has bestowed upon us by taking our shame and giving us his place. We are living stones, chosen and precious, built into a spiritual house with Jesus as our cornerstone—a stone rejected by the world. Because of this, we are free from the endless cycle of seeking honor and giving shame. Our freedom is not a license to do as we please, but a call to live as God’s servants, marked by a new kind of public witness.

Peter urges us to abstain from the desires that drive us to play the world’s honor-shame games. Instead, we are to live such good lives among those who misunderstand or even malign us that our deeds become a tangible sign of God’s reign. This means honoring everyone, loving the church, fearing God, and even honoring those in authority—even when those authorities are unjust. Our resistance to evil is not through violence or withdrawal, but through patient endurance, truth-telling, and a refusal to cover up wrongdoing, whether inside or outside the church.

The only way to live this way is to remember the honor we have received in Christ. When we know we belong to God, we are set free from the need for validation from others. Grace makes us dangerous to the status quo because it frees us from the power of shame and the need to perform. In this freedom, we can honor others, even those who dishonor us, and so bear witness to the upside-down kingdom of God.

Key Takeaways

• 1. The world’s honor-shame system is a powerful force that shapes our desires and behaviors, often without us realizing it. We are tempted to seek validation by aligning with the right group and shaming those outside, but this is not the way of Christ. Recognizing the “water” we swim in is the first step toward living differently. [14:37]
• 2. Our identity in Christ as exiles and living stones means we will always feel a bit out of place in the world’s systems. This sense of not fitting is not a problem to solve, but a sign that we belong to a different kingdom—one where honor is given by God, not earned or taken from others. [23:47]
• 3. The gospel frees us from the endless cycle of seeking honor and giving shame. Instead of being driven by self-justification and tribal validation, we are called to abstain from these desires and to live as those who have already been honored by God. This freedom is both a gift and a responsibility. [26:12]
• 4. True Christian resistance to evil is cruciform: it is patterned after Jesus, marked by patient endurance, truth-telling, and a refusal to cover up wrongdoing. We do not fight shame with shame or violence with violence, but by embodying the alternative reality of God’s kingdom—even when it costs us. [39:02]
• 5. Honoring everyone—including those who oppose or mistreat us—is only possible when we remember the honor Christ has given us by taking our shame. This radical ethic is the heart of our public witness: to love the church, fear God, and honor all, trusting that God will use our good deeds to bring glory to himself. [40:08]

Youtube Chapters

• [00:00] - Welcome
• [10:54] - Preparing Our Hearts
• [11:25] - Reading 1 Peter: Exiles and Honor
• [12:55] - The Two Horizons: Then and Now
• [14:37] - The Water We Swim In: Honor and Shame
• [15:22] - Mean Girls and Modern Honor-Shame Culture
• [17:45] - Revenge and the Implosion of Shame
• [18:19] - Dignity vs. Honor-Shame Societies
• [19:25] - Social Media and Public Shaming
• [21:36] - Tribalism and Justification
• [22:24] - Christians as Marginalized Exiles
• [23:17] - Peter’s New Matrix for Honor
• [24:53] - Waging War Against Sinful Desires
• [26:12] - Public Witness and Doing Good
• [29:26] - The Temptation to Retaliate
• [31:48] - Submission and the Call to Honor
• [33:08] - Living as God’s Free Servants
• [35:40] - Grace, Freedom, and the End of Shame
• [37:19] - Honoring Authorities and Resisting Evil
• [39:02] - Cruciform Resistance and Restoration
• [40:08] - Application: Honor Everyone
• [41:26] - Closing Prayer and Song

Bible Reading

1 Peter 2:11-17 (ESV) — 11 Beloved, I urge you as sojourners and exiles to abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against your soul.
12 Keep your conduct among the Gentiles honorable, so that when they speak against you as evildoers, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day of visitation.
13 Be subject for the Lord’s sake to every human institution, whether it be to the emperor as supreme
14 or to governors as sent by him to punish those who do evil and to praise those who do good.
15 For this is the will of God, that by doing good you should put to silence the ignorance of foolish people.
16 Live as people who are free, not using your freedom as a cover-up for evil, but living as servants of God.
17 Honor everyone. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the emperor.

Observation Questions

1. According to Peter, what are the “passions of the flesh” that wage war against our souls, and how do they relate to the honor-shame system described in the sermon? [[24:53]]
2. What does Peter say is the result of living “such good lives among the pagans” even when they accuse Christians of doing wrong? [[26:12]]
3. In verse 17, Peter gives four commands. What are they, and how do they relate to each other? [[40:08]]
4. The sermon describes Christians as “exiles” and “living stones.” What does this imagery suggest about our place in the world? [[23:47]]

Interpretation Questions

1. The sermon says that our culture, like Peter’s, is shaped by systems that reward public honor and punish with public shame. In what ways does this shape our desires and behaviors, often without us realizing it? [[14:37]]
2. Peter calls believers to “abstain from sinful desires” that drive us to play the world’s honor-shame games. Why is it so difficult to resist these desires, especially when we feel misunderstood or maligned? [[24:53]]
3. The sermon claims that our identity in Christ as exiles and living stones means we will always feel a bit out of place in the world’s systems. How can this sense of not fitting in be a sign that we belong to a different kingdom? [[23:47]]
4. The sermon describes Christian resistance to evil as “cruciform”—patterned after Jesus, marked by patient endurance, truth-telling, and a refusal to cover up wrongdoing. How is this different from the way the world typically responds to shame or injustice? [[39:02]]

Application Questions

1. The sermon talks about the “water we swim in”—the honor-shame system that shapes our world. Can you think of a recent situation (at work, school, online, or in your family) where you felt pressure to seek validation or avoid shame? How did you respond? [[14:37]]
2. Peter urges us to “honor everyone,” even those who oppose or mistreat us. Who is one person in your life right now that you find it hard to honor? What would it look like to honor them this week in a practical way? [[40:08]]
3. The sermon warns against creating our own “Christian” honor-shame systems inside the church. Have you ever experienced or participated in this kind of system within a Christian community? How can we guard against it? [[24:53]]
4. The message says that grace makes us “dangerous to the status quo” because it frees us from the power of shame and the need to perform. Is there an area of your life where you are still seeking validation from others? What would it look like to live out of the honor Christ has given you instead? [[35:40]]
5. Peter calls us to submit to authorities and honor them, even when they are unjust. How do you wrestle with this command in light of current events or leaders you disagree with? What does it mean to honor without covering up evil? [[37:19]]
6. The sermon says our resistance to evil should be “cruciform”—marked by patient endurance and truth-telling, not violence or withdrawal. Can you think of a situation where you are tempted to retaliate or withdraw? What would a cruciform response look like? [[39:02]]
7. The only way to live this way, the sermon says, is to remember the honor we have received in Christ. What are some practical ways you can remind yourself of your identity in Christ this week, especially when you feel out of place or dishonored? [[23:47]]