Listening with Love: Jesus' Model of Empathy
Summary
Learning to listen is at the very heart of learning to love. In a world where people are desperate to be heard, Jesus models for us what it means to truly care for others by listening with intention, empathy, and action. The story of Jesus and the Samaritan woman in John 4 is a powerful example of how listening can break down barriers, affirm dignity, and open the door to transformation. Jesus intentionally went to Samaria, a place most Jews avoided, and engaged a woman whom others ignored or despised. He didn’t just speak to her—He listened, He shared, and He valued her as a person, not just a project.
We are challenged to consider: are we more like Jesus, who crossed boundaries to listen and care, or like the disciples, who ignored the woman and missed the spiritual opportunity right in front of them? Our intentions shape our actions. If we don’t intend to care, to listen, to serve, we simply won’t. Jesus’ example calls us to be intentional in our love, to go where people are, and to listen deeply—not just with our ears, but with our hearts.
Listening has different levels: ignoring, selective, attentive, and empathetic. Empathetic listening is the deepest, where we not only acknowledge someone’s pain but feel it with them and act to bring hope. Sympathy writes a check; empathy gets in the mud and helps clean up. Jesus’ empathy led Him to share a cup with the Samaritan woman, to stay two extra days in Samaria, and to love people others avoided. When we listen like Jesus, we affirm the value of others and open the door for God to work through us.
We must also be aware of the mistakes that keep us from truly listening: pretending, one-upping, trying to fix instead of hearing, and letting technology distract us. True listening requires us to slow down, unplug, and be present. It means seeking to understand someone’s story and perspective, asking good questions, and being willing to be inconvenienced for the sake of love.
God has given us everything we need—His Spirit, His gospel, His love. The question is, will we do what we can with what we have? Will we be intentional to listen, care, and share hope with those around us? The harvest is ready, but it starts with listening.
Key Takeaways
- Intentionality Precedes Opportunity
Jesus intentionally went to Samaria, a place others avoided, because He purposed in His heart to care for those whom others ignored. Our actions follow our intentions; if we do not plan to love, serve, and listen, we will miss the opportunities God places before us. Spiritual fruitfulness begins with a deliberate choice to go where people are and to be present with them. [51:38]
- Empathetic Listening Transforms Lives
There is a profound difference between sympathy and empathy. Sympathy acknowledges pain from a distance, but empathy enters into another’s experience, offering hope and presence. When we listen empathetically, as Jesus did, we become conduits of God’s love and hope, often in ways that words alone cannot accomplish. [57:41]
- The Danger of Distraction and Prejudice
The disciples missed the spiritual opportunity before them because they were distracted by their own biases and busyness. Ignoring people, selective listening, and letting technology or prejudice get in the way can cause us to overlook those God wants us to reach. We must be willing to set aside our assumptions and schedules to see people as Jesus does. [01:13:01]
- Listening Affirms Value and Dignity
Jesus affirmed the Samaritan woman’s humanity by engaging her in conversation and sharing a cup with her, something unheard of in His culture. When we truly listen, we communicate to others that they matter, that their story is important, and that they are seen and loved by God. This kind of listening can be the first step toward healing and transformation. [53:28]
- Use What You Have for God’s Glory
Like Jim Abbott, who achieved greatness despite his limitations, we are called to do what we can with what we have. God has given us His Spirit, His gospel, and a community to love. We are not called to wait for perfect circumstances, but to act now—listening, caring, and sharing the hope of Christ with those around us. [01:18:16]
Youtube Chapters
[00:00] - Welcome
[00:45] - Opening Stories and Icebreaker
[03:30] - The Importance of Listening
[07:10] - John 4: Jesus and the Samaritan Woman
[13:00] - The Heart Question: Who Are You Like?
[16:30] - Jesus’ Intentionality in Samaria
[21:00] - Sharing a Cup: Breaking Barriers
[25:00] - Four Levels of Listening
[31:00] - Empathy vs. Sympathy
[36:00] - Four Listening Mistakes
[41:00] - Active Listening and Perspective
[47:00] - The Disciples’ Missed Opportunity
[52:00] - The Harvest is Ready
[56:00] - Do What You Can With What You Have
[01:01:00] - Call to Action and Prayer
Study Guide
Small Group Bible Study Guide: Learning to Listen Like Jesus
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### Bible Reading
John 4:7-30, 39-42 (ESV)
> 7 A woman from Samaria came to draw water. Jesus said to her, “Give me a drink.” 8 (For his disciples had gone away into the city to buy food.) 9 The Samaritan woman said to him, “How is it that you, a Jew, ask for a drink from me, a woman of Samaria?” (For Jews have no dealings with Samaritans.) 10 Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God, and who it is that is saying to you, ‘Give me a drink,’ you would have asked him, and he would have given you living water.”
> ...
> 27 Just then his disciples came back. They marveled that he was talking with a woman, but no one said, “What do you seek?” or, “Why are you talking with her?” 28 So the woman left her water jar and went away into town and said to the people, 29 “Come, see a man who told me all that I ever did. Can this be the Christ?” 30 They went out of the town and were coming to him.
> ...
> 39 Many Samaritans from that town believed in him because of the woman’s testimony, “He told me all that I ever did.” 40 So when the Samaritans came to him, they asked him to stay with them, and he stayed there two days. 41 And many more believed because of his word. 42 They said to the woman, “It is no longer because of what you said that we believe, for we have heard for ourselves, and we know that this is indeed the Savior of the world.”
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## Observation Questions
1. What did Jesus do that was unusual for a Jewish man when he met the Samaritan woman at the well?
[[52:22]]
2. How did the disciples react when they saw Jesus talking with the Samaritan woman?
[[54:09]]
3. What was the result of Jesus’ conversation and time spent with the Samaritans?
[[01:13:01]]
4. According to the sermon, what are the four levels of listening described, and which one did Jesus model?
[[54:57]]
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## Interpretation Questions
1. Why was it significant that Jesus intentionally traveled to Samaria and spoke with someone others ignored or despised? What does this reveal about his priorities?
[[51:38]]
2. The sermon describes empathetic listening as “getting in the mud” with someone, not just writing a check. Why is this kind of listening so powerful in relationships and ministry?
[[57:41]]
3. The disciples missed a spiritual opportunity because of their distractions and prejudices. What are some modern-day distractions or biases that might keep us from seeing people as Jesus does?
[[01:13:01]]
4. When Jesus shared a cup with the Samaritan woman, he affirmed her value and dignity. Why is it important to affirm someone’s humanity before trying to share spiritual truth with them?
[[53:28]]
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## Application Questions
1. The sermon said, “You will do what you intend to do.” What is one way you can be more intentional this week about listening to someone who is often overlooked or ignored? Who comes to mind?
[[51:38]]
2. Think about the four levels of listening (ignoring, selective, attentive, empathetic). Which level do you most often find yourself at with family, friends, or coworkers? What is one step you can take to move toward empathetic listening?
[[54:57]]
3. The sermon warned about “pretend listening,” “one-upping,” “trying to fix,” and “cell phone listening.” Which of these mistakes do you struggle with most? How can you practice being more present in conversations this week?
[[01:03:05]]
4. Jesus was willing to be inconvenienced—he stayed two extra days in Samaria. When was the last time you let yourself be inconvenienced for the sake of loving or listening to someone? What would it look like to make space for that this month?
[[01:13:01]]
5. The story of Jim Abbott was used to encourage us to “do what you do with what you got.” What resources, gifts, or experiences do you have that you can use to listen, care, and share hope with others?
[[01:18:16]]
6. Technology can be a big distraction. Is there a specific way you can “unplug” or set aside your phone to be more present with people this week? What would that look like in your daily routine?
[[01:03:05]]
7. The Samaritan woman immediately went and told others about Jesus after her encounter. Is there someone in your life who needs to hear about the hope you have in Christ? How can you start that conversation, maybe by first listening to their story?
[[01:20:11]]
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Closing Prayer Suggestion:
Ask God to help you slow down, listen with empathy, and see people as He does. Pray for specific people in your life who need to be heard and loved.
Devotional
Day 1: Intentional Love: Going Where Others Won’t
Jesus intentionally traveled to Samaria, breaking social and religious barriers to reach those whom others avoided. He did not let prejudice or discomfort stop Him from loving and seeking out the lost. His willingness to go where others would not, to get “Samaritan dust” on His feet, shows that true care requires us to step out of our comfort zones and be present where people are hurting. If we want to care for others as Jesus did, we must make it our intention each day to go to those who need hope, even if it means inconvenience or discomfort. [51:38]
John 4:4-10 (ESV)
And he had to pass through Samaria. So he came to a town of Samaria called Sychar, near the field that Jacob had given to his son Joseph. Jacob’s well was there; so Jesus, wearied as he was from his journey, was sitting beside the well. It was about the sixth hour. A woman from Samaria came to draw water. Jesus said to her, “Give me a drink.” (For his disciples had gone away into the city to buy food.) The Samaritan woman said to him, “How is it that you, a Jew, ask for a drink from me, a woman of Samaria?” (For Jews have no dealings with Samaritans.) Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God, and who it is that is saying to you, ‘Give me a drink,’ you would have asked him, and he would have given you living water.”
Reflection: Who is someone in your life or community that you have avoided or overlooked? What would it look like for you to intentionally reach out to them this week, even if it means stepping out of your comfort zone?
Day 2: Listening Equals Love
Jesus didn’t just speak to the Samaritan woman—He listened to her, affirmed her value, and engaged with her story. He practiced empathetic listening, not just hearing her words but caring deeply about her life and her pain. In a world where people are desperate to be heard, truly listening to someone is one of the greatest acts of love we can offer. When we slow down, unplug from distractions, and give someone our full attention, we reflect the heart of Christ and open the door for transformation. [54:09]
John 4:13-15 (ESV)
Jesus said to her, “Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” The woman said to him, “Sir, give me this water, so that I will not be thirsty or have to come here to draw water.”
Reflection: Think of a person you often rush past or only half-listen to. How can you show them Christ-like love by giving them your full, undistracted attention this week?
Day 3: Empathetic Listening: Giving Hope
Empathetic listening goes beyond sympathy; it means entering into another’s pain and offering hope through presence and understanding. When we listen with empathy, we don’t just acknowledge someone’s struggle—we feel it with them and let them know they are not alone. This kind of listening can be life-changing, as it was for the woman at the well and as it is for those who receive hope in their darkest moments. Empathetic listening is a ministry of presence, a way to carry another’s burden and point them to the hope found in Christ. [57:41]
Romans 12:15 (ESV)
Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.
Reflection: Who in your life is going through a difficult time right now? How can you practice empathetic listening with them—setting aside your own agenda to truly enter into their experience and offer hope?
Day 4: Don’t Miss the Opportunity: Seeing the Harvest
The disciples missed the spiritual opportunity right in front of them because they were distracted, prejudiced, or simply too busy. Jesus, on the other hand, saw the harvest—people ready to receive hope and salvation. We are often so caught up in our routines and preferences that we fail to see the people God has placed in our path. If we want to be part of God’s work, we must open our eyes, slow down, and recognize the opportunities to love, serve, and share the gospel with those around us. [01:13:01]
John 4:35-38 (ESV)
Do you not say, ‘There are yet four months, then comes the harvest’? Look, I tell you, lift up your eyes, and see that the fields are white for harvest. Already the one who reaps is receiving wages and gathering fruit for eternal life, so that sower and reaper may rejoice together. For here the saying holds true, ‘One sows and another reaps.’ I sent you to reap that for which you did not labor. Others have labored, and you have entered into their labor.
Reflection: Where might God be placing a “harvest” in front of you that you’ve been missing? What is one practical step you can take today to slow down and notice the people God wants you to reach?
Day 5: Do What You Can With What You Have
God doesn’t ask us to be perfect or to have it all together—He asks us to use what we have for His glory. Like Jim Abbott, who inspired many by doing what he could with what he had, we are called to offer our gifts, our stories, and our presence to serve others. We have Jesus, the Holy Spirit, and the gospel—everything we need to make a difference. The question is not whether we have enough, but whether we are willing to use what God has given us to love, serve, and bring hope to our community. [01:18:16]
2 Corinthians 8:12 (ESV)
For if the readiness is there, it is acceptable according to what a person has, not according to what he does not have.
Reflection: What is one gift, resource, or opportunity God has given you that you can use to serve or encourage someone this week? How will you “do what you do with what you got” for God’s glory?
Quotes
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