Listening to Internal Tension for Better Decisions
Summary
In today's message, we explored the profound impact of decision-making and the often-overlooked role of internal tensions in guiding us toward better choices. We began by examining why people under the influence of alcohol tend to make poor decisions, highlighting how alcohol impairs the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain responsible for rational thinking and decision-making. This impairment leads to impulsiveness and a lack of inhibition, making it difficult for individuals to connect the dots and foresee the consequences of their actions.
Transitioning from this physiological perspective, we delved into the spiritual and practical implications for those of us who are sober. We often ignore the internal cues and tensions that arise when faced with significant decisions. These tensions, which we might dismiss as irrational or inconvenient, are crucial signals that deserve our attention. They are the conscience's way of alerting us to potential pitfalls and guiding us toward choices that align with our values and long-term goals.
We revisited the story of David and King Saul to illustrate this point. David, despite having the opportunity to kill Saul and claim the throne, paid attention to the tension he felt. He recognized that acting on impulse would lead to a legacy he did not want to carry. Instead, he chose to trust in God's timing and plan, demonstrating the importance of patience and humility in decision-making.
The key takeaway is that when we face decisions, especially those with significant consequences, we must pause and pay attention to any internal tension. This tension might be God's way of protecting us from regret and guiding us toward a path we hadn't considered. By acknowledging and exploring these feelings, we open ourselves to better outcomes and a life with fewer regrets.
Key Takeaways:
1. The Role of Internal Tension: Internal tension is a crucial signal that deserves our attention when making decisions. It acts as a warning, urging us to pause and consider the potential consequences of our actions. Ignoring this tension can lead to regret, while acknowledging it can guide us toward better choices. [06:51]
2. The Illusion of Predicting Outcomes: We often believe we can predict the outcomes of our decisions, but this is a fallacy. Ignoring internal tension because we think we know the future can lead to disappointment. Instead, we should embrace the uncertainty and allow the tension to guide us. [21:37]
3. David's Example of Restraint: David's decision not to kill Saul, despite the opportunity, highlights the importance of paying attention to internal tension. By doing so, he avoided a legacy of murder and trusted in God's plan, demonstrating the power of patience and humility. [20:42]
4. The Influence of Others: Sometimes, others point out tensions we might not see. It's essential to listen to these external cues, as they can provide valuable insights and prevent us from making hasty decisions. Ignoring them can lead to relational tension and missed opportunities for growth. [11:24]
5. The Path to Better Decisions: By consistently asking ourselves if there is a tension that deserves our attention, we can make decisions that align with our values and lead to a life with fewer regrets. This practice helps us avoid impulsive actions and opens us to new possibilities. [32:29]
Youtube Chapters:
[00:00] - Welcome
[00:09] - The Question of Decision-Making
[01:00] - Physiological Effects of Alcohol
[03:08] - Series Overview: Better Decisions, Fewer Regrets
[05:12] - The Integrity Question
[06:02] - The Conscience Question
[07:07] - Paying Attention to Tension
[09:32] - The Role of Feelings in Decision-Making
[13:09] - David and Saul: A Story of Tension
[17:33] - David's Internal Conflict
[20:57] - The Uncertainty of Outcomes
[25:59] - David's Measured Response
[27:54] - Saul's Downfall and David's Rise
[29:25] - A Personal Story of Integrity
[32:29] - Conclusion: Is There a Tension?
Study Guide
### Bible Study Discussion Guide
#### Bible Reading
1. 1 Samuel 24:1-22 - The story of David sparing Saul's life in the cave.
2. Proverbs 22:3 - "The prudent see danger and take refuge, but the simple keep going and pay the penalty."
#### Observation Questions
1. What physiological effects of alcohol were discussed in the sermon, and how do they relate to decision-making? [01:00]
2. How did David's internal tension influence his decision not to kill Saul, despite having the opportunity? [20:42]
3. What role did David's men play in the cave, and how did their perspective differ from David's? [18:01]
4. How does the story of David and Saul illustrate the importance of paying attention to internal tensions? [13:09]
#### Interpretation Questions
1. How does the impairment of the prefrontal cortex by alcohol serve as a metaphor for ignoring internal tensions in sober decision-making? [01:29]
2. In what ways does David's decision in the cave reflect the principle of trusting in God's timing rather than taking matters into one's own hands? [20:42]
3. How can the concept of "paying attention to the tension" be applied to modern decision-making, especially when external pressures are present? [06:51]
4. What does the story of David and Saul teach about the potential consequences of acting on impulse versus exercising restraint and humility? [20:42]
#### Application Questions
1. Reflect on a recent decision where you felt an internal tension. How did you respond to that tension, and what was the outcome? [06:51]
2. Consider a situation where you were tempted to act impulsively. How might paying attention to internal tensions have changed your decision? [20:42]
3. Identify a current decision you are facing. What internal or external tensions are present, and how can you address them to align with your values? [06:51]
4. Think of a time when someone else pointed out a tension you hadn't noticed. How did you react, and what did you learn from that experience? [11:24]
5. How can you cultivate a habit of pausing and reflecting on internal tensions before making significant decisions in your life? [32:29]
6. In what ways can you seek God's guidance when faced with decisions that involve significant internal tension? [20:42]
7. How can you support others in your community to recognize and address their internal tensions in decision-making? [11:24]
Devotional
Day 1: The Significance of Internal Tension
Internal tension is a vital signal that should not be ignored when making decisions. It serves as a warning, urging individuals to pause and consider the potential consequences of their actions. By acknowledging this tension, one can avoid regret and make choices that align with their values and long-term goals. Ignoring these signals can lead to impulsive decisions and missed opportunities for growth. Paying attention to internal tension allows for a more thoughtful and deliberate approach to decision-making, ultimately leading to a life with fewer regrets. [06:51]
"Whoever trusts in his own mind is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom will be delivered." (Proverbs 28:26, ESV)
Reflection: Think of a recent decision you made. Was there any internal tension you ignored? How might acknowledging it have changed your decision?
Day 2: Embracing Uncertainty in Decision-Making
The belief that one can predict the outcomes of their decisions is often a fallacy. Ignoring internal tension because of a false sense of certainty can lead to disappointment. Embracing uncertainty and allowing internal tension to guide decision-making can open up new possibilities and prevent regret. By acknowledging the limits of one's foresight, individuals can make more informed and thoughtful choices that align with their values and long-term goals. [21:37]
"The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps." (Proverbs 16:9, ESV)
Reflection: Consider a decision you are currently facing. How can you embrace the uncertainty and allow internal tension to guide you?
Day 3: Learning from David's Restraint
David's decision not to kill Saul, despite having the opportunity, highlights the importance of paying attention to internal tension. By doing so, he avoided a legacy of murder and trusted in God's plan, demonstrating the power of patience and humility. This story serves as a reminder that acting on impulse can lead to regret, while exercising restraint and trusting in a higher plan can lead to a more fulfilling and meaningful life. [20:42]
"Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!" (Psalm 27:14, ESV)
Reflection: Reflect on a situation where you felt tension but chose restraint. How did this decision impact your life and relationships?
Day 4: The Value of External Insights
Sometimes, others can point out tensions that individuals might not see themselves. Listening to these external cues can provide valuable insights and prevent hasty decisions. Ignoring them can lead to relational tension and missed opportunities for growth. By being open to the perspectives of others, individuals can gain a deeper understanding of their own internal tensions and make more informed decisions. [11:24]
"Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future." (Proverbs 19:20, ESV)
Reflection: Think of a time when someone pointed out a tension you hadn't noticed. How did their insight influence your decision-making process?
Day 5: Consistently Seeking Internal Tension
By consistently asking oneself if there is a tension that deserves attention, individuals can make decisions that align with their values and lead to a life with fewer regrets. This practice helps avoid impulsive actions and opens up new possibilities. By being mindful of internal tensions, individuals can navigate life's challenges with greater wisdom and intentionality, ultimately leading to more fulfilling and meaningful experiences. [32:29]
"Teach me good judgment and knowledge, for I believe in your commandments." (Psalm 119:66, ESV)
Reflection: As you face decisions today, ask yourself if there is a tension that deserves your attention. How can this practice help you align your choices with your values?
Quotes
"While intoxicated folks can't pay attention to external or even internal cues, us sober folks are often guilty of choosing to ignore external or internal cues, right? I mean intoxicated people have basically silenced their conscience, but sober people often choose what we sometimes choose to ignore, our conscience." [06:12]
"And by conscience, I'm talking about that internal tension competing for our attention when we consider an option that if we choose it, it's gonna lead to regret. Intoxicated people can't help themselves, but oftentimes we won't help ourselves. And the outcome, the consequences are often no less devastating." [06:34]
"Is there a tension that deserves my attention? While I'm making the decision, when I'm considering options and I'm sort of focusing in on one option, does that option create a tension that deserves my attention? Now sometimes, actually I think more times than we would like to admit, an option that we're considering creates tension inside of us." [07:02]
"And when that it happens, you owe it to yourself to pause and pay attention to that tension, pay attention to the tension. Don't ignore it, don't brush by it, don't rush by it, don't talk yourself out of it, pay attention. Let it bother you." [08:17]
"Allow me to push back just a little bit. Actually you don't, but I know it feels like you do. In fact, people who understand the brain and understand how the brain works, here's what they say, they say that when we have these red-flag moments, it's actually a specific part of our brain alerting us to pay attention." [09:47]
"And if we pause, we stand a far better chance of making a better decision. And if we don't pause, we sell ourselves right on past the tension that deserves our attention. And in fact, if you are into facts, pause and more facts may in fact surface." [10:05]
"And here's why. We all, and I'm including myself in this, we all have a tendency to dodge the truth by discounting the truth teller, right? I mean, what does he know? What does she know? I mean, he's never walked in my shoes, he's never run a company, she's never navigated the complexity of family life the way I'm having to navigate it." [11:33]
"David didn't know what the outcome of killing Saul would be. Think about this. David didn't know for sure what the outcome of killing Saul would be. He thought he did, but there was no guarantee things would work out the way he envisioned things working out, right?" [21:00]
"One of the reasons we ignore the tension when we're making a decision, one reason we just push through and ignore the advice of other people or the voice of our conscience, one reason we push through is this, we believe that in certain circumstances, we can predict the future, that we can predict or even control outcomes." [21:33]
"Ignoring that tension in your gut, ignoring that tension, sets you up for disappointment, paying attention to that tension, allowing whatever it is that's bothering you to bother you, is how you avoid unnecessary disappointment and regret." [22:21]
"That's why we have to pay attention to the tension, that's why we dare not take matters into our own hands, that's why we dare not trust our ability to predict the future or control outcomes. That's why whenever you're making a decision of any consequence, you have to stop and ask yourself, is there a tension that deserves my attention?" [28:52]
"If there's something in you, if there's something you can't quite put your finger on or perhaps something someone else has put their finger on about an option you're considering and now it bothers you, just stop, pay attention, give it some time. Let it bother you until you know why it bothers you, don't ignore it, don't brush by it." [31:44]
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