Lessons of Faith, Family, and Generosity
Summary
Growing up without a father, my dad, Dr. Charles Stanley, learned to navigate life with the guidance of his mother, who instilled in him the values of trusting God, reading scripture, and doing what is right. Despite the absence of a paternal role model, he became an exemplary father, teaching me and my sister, Becky, invaluable lessons about decision-making and accountability. He encouraged us to make our own decisions and face the consequences, fostering independence and a reliance on God for guidance. This approach was rooted in his own experiences of having to rely on God from a young age.
One of the most significant lessons he imparted was the importance of generosity. Despite growing up with very little, he learned from his mother to give what he could, trusting that God would provide. This principle of generosity extended to his view of the local church, where he believed in giving wholeheartedly, knowing that one cannot outgive God. His life was a testament to this belief, as he consistently experienced God's blessings in return for his generosity.
My dad also prioritized family over work, a challenging feat for many, especially pastors. He ensured that we never felt like we were competing with his ministry for his attention. Our family vacations, often long and adventurous, were a testament to his commitment to spending quality time with us. These experiences left a lasting impression on me, teaching me the importance of prioritizing family and creating unforgettable memories.
His journey to becoming a pastor was marked by faith and hard work. From delivering newspapers to earning a scholarship to college, he demonstrated a strong work ethic coupled with a deep trust in God's provision. His story is a powerful reminder of how God can use seemingly small acts of faithfulness to open doors and shape a life of significant impact.
Key Takeaways:
- Trust and Independence: My dad taught us to make our own decisions and face the consequences, fostering independence and a reliance on God. This approach was rooted in his own experiences of having to rely on God from a young age. [07:34]
- Generosity and Faith: Despite growing up with very little, my dad learned from his mother to give what he could, trusting that God would provide. This principle of generosity extended to his view of the local church, where he believed in giving wholeheartedly, knowing that one cannot outgive God. [23:08]
- Family Over Work: My dad prioritized family over work, ensuring that we never felt like we were competing with his ministry for his attention. Our family vacations were a testament to his commitment to spending quality time with us, teaching me the importance of prioritizing family. [14:10]
- Faith and Hard Work: His journey to becoming a pastor was marked by faith and hard work. From delivering newspapers to earning a scholarship to college, he demonstrated a strong work ethic coupled with a deep trust in God's provision. [28:35]
- Impact of Small Acts: My dad's story is a powerful reminder of how God can use seemingly small acts of faithfulness to open doors and shape a life of significant impact. The influence of a single person, like his pastor who helped him get a scholarship, can have far-reaching effects. [31:46]
Youtube Chapters:
[00:00] - Welcome
[00:05] - Introduction to the Interview
[00:36] - Family Background
[01:15] - Rocky Transition and Reconciliation
[02:23] - Emotional Story Reading
[03:16] - Parenting Without a Father
[04:34] - Lessons from Mom
[05:17] - Learning to Be a Father
[06:40] - Teaching Decision-Making
[08:07] - Facing Consequences
[09:58] - Accountability to God
[12:19] - Concert Dilemma
[14:10] - Prioritizing Family
[17:01] - Unforgettable Vacations
[20:21] - Encouragement for Single Parents
[21:01] - Generosity and Faith
[25:29] - Paper Route Story
[28:35] - College Journey
[31:46] - Impact of Small Acts
Study Guide
Bible Study Discussion Guide
Bible Reading:
1. Proverbs 3:5-6 - "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight."
2. Luke 6:38 - "Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."
3. Ephesians 6:4 - "Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord."
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Observation Questions:
1. What values did Dr. Charles Stanley's mother instill in him that helped him navigate life without a father? [04:34]
2. How did Dr. Stanley's approach to decision-making influence his children, according to the sermon? [07:20]
3. What role did generosity play in Dr. Stanley's life, and how did he learn this principle? [21:31]
4. How did Dr. Stanley prioritize his family over his work, and what impact did this have on his children? [14:10]
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Interpretation Questions:
1. How does Proverbs 3:5-6 relate to Dr. Stanley's reliance on God from a young age, as described in the sermon? [04:34]
2. In what ways does Luke 6:38 reflect Dr. Stanley's belief in generosity and his experiences with God's provision? [23:08]
3. How might Ephesians 6:4 be reflected in Dr. Stanley's parenting style, especially in teaching his children accountability and decision-making? [09:58]
4. What can be inferred about the impact of small acts of faithfulness from Dr. Stanley's story of receiving a scholarship to college? [31:46]
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Application Questions:
1. Reflect on a time when you had to rely on God for guidance. How did that experience shape your trust in Him? [04:34]
2. Dr. Stanley taught his children to make their own decisions and face the consequences. How can you apply this principle in your own decision-making process? [07:20]
3. Consider your current level of generosity. What steps can you take to give more wholeheartedly, trusting that God will provide? [23:08]
4. How do you balance work and family priorities? What changes can you make to ensure your family feels valued and prioritized? [14:10]
5. Think of a small act of faithfulness you can commit to this week. How might this act open doors or have a significant impact in your life or the lives of others? [31:46]
6. Identify a situation where you can practice the principle of "you can't outgive God." What specific action will you take to demonstrate this belief? [23:51]
7. How can you incorporate the practice of seeking God's wisdom in your daily life, especially when faced with challenging decisions? [10:12]
Devotional
Day 1: Trust and Independence Through Godly Guidance
In life, the ability to make decisions and face their consequences is crucial for personal growth and independence. This principle is deeply rooted in the experience of relying on God for guidance. When one learns to trust in God, they develop a sense of independence that is not based on self-reliance but on divine wisdom. This approach encourages individuals to seek God's counsel in their decision-making processes, fostering a relationship where trust in God becomes the foundation for personal autonomy. [07:34]
Jeremiah 17:7-8 (ESV): "Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord. He is like a tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the stream, and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green, and is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit."
Reflection: What is one decision you are currently facing where you need to trust God more fully? How can you actively seek His guidance today?
Day 2: Generosity Rooted in Faith
Generosity is a powerful expression of faith, especially when one gives from a place of scarcity. The act of giving, even when resources are limited, demonstrates a profound trust in God's provision. This principle extends to the belief that one cannot outgive God, as He blesses those who give with a sincere heart. Generosity is not just about material giving but also about offering time, love, and support to others, trusting that God will replenish what is given. [23:08]
2 Corinthians 9:6-8 (ESV): "The point is this: whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows bountifully will also reap bountifully. Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work."
Reflection: Consider a way you can be generous today, whether through time, resources, or encouragement. How can you trust God to provide for you as you give?
Day 3: Prioritizing Family in a Busy World
Balancing work and family life is a challenge many face, yet prioritizing family is essential for nurturing strong relationships. Making time for family, even amidst demanding responsibilities, demonstrates a commitment to those we love. This prioritization involves creating meaningful experiences and memories that strengthen familial bonds. It is a reminder that while work is important, the relationships we build with our family are invaluable and deserve our attention and care. [14:10]
Ephesians 5:15-16 (ESV): "Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil."
Reflection: What is one specific way you can prioritize your family this week? How can you create a meaningful experience with them today?
Day 4: Faith and Hard Work in Life's Journey
The journey to achieving one's calling is often marked by a combination of faith and hard work. This path requires perseverance and a deep trust in God's provision, even when the way forward seems uncertain. By embracing both faith and diligence, individuals can navigate challenges and seize opportunities that align with their purpose. This approach underscores the belief that God honors those who work hard and trust Him to guide their steps. [28:35]
Colossians 3:23-24 (ESV): "Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ."
Reflection: Reflect on an area of your life where you need to combine faith with hard work. What steps can you take today to pursue this with diligence and trust in God?
Day 5: The Impact of Small Acts of Faithfulness
Small acts of faithfulness can have a profound impact on one's life and the lives of others. These seemingly insignificant actions, when done with sincerity and trust in God, can open doors to new opportunities and blessings. The influence of a single person or a small gesture can create a ripple effect, leading to significant change and growth. This principle encourages individuals to remain faithful in the little things, trusting that God will use them for His greater purpose. [31:46]
Luke 16:10 (ESV): "One who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in much, and one who is dishonest in a very little is also dishonest in much."
Reflection: Think of a small act of faithfulness you can commit to today. How can you trust God to use this act for His greater purpose?
Quotes
But you know my mom taught me how to fry an egg or scramble an egg and toast. And then, of course, after a while I learned that well enough, so I could just fix me maybe some other things. But she taught me to be able to do whatever I needed to do and to trust God that He would help me. And that's the thing that I kept hearing her, just trust the Lord. Just do what you know is right and trust the Lord. So she drilled that into my head and that I could do whatever I needed to do if I would trust him. [00:04:17]
Well, my mom taught me several things. She just drilled them in my head. To obey the Lord, to read the scripture every day even though I didn't understand it, to read the scripture every day and to do what I knew was the right thing to do. So she didn't take the Bible and say, well memorize this verse or that verse. And the only time I remember her giving me a verse to remember is before I preached my first sermon, but I just saw her reading the Bible. I watched, I listened to her pray and I watched how she related to people. So I had a great respect for my mom being a Godly woman. [00:05:19]
Well, I treated y'all the way I wanted to be treated. I think that says it all to me because not having a father and thinking what I would've liked for my father to have done. So when I think of all the places we went and I never worried about spending money on you all, just have a good time. In other words, it just came natural for me because I knew that's what a good dad would do. [00:06:11]
And the way he taught me how to make good decisions was my dad refused to make decisions for me. In fact, there were so many incidents and this began really young. I would say, "Dad, what do you think I should do in this situation?" And he would say, "Well what would you do if I wasn't here to tell you?" And I would say, "But you are here to tell me and I need you to tell me." But that habit or that tendency you had and again, I don't know where you figured that out, forced me to do two things. It forced me to learn how to make good decisions early on. [00:06:40]
And then the second thing was you did such a great job allowing Becky and I to face the consequences of our decisions. You never bailed us out. And I guess, because growing up there wasn't anybody to bail you out. When you made a bad decision, you had to face the consequences yourself, right? [00:07:27]
And I realized all of that would drive you to God. And I wanted you to point yourself to Him. What would God have me to do when my dad's not here? What would God have me to do? Because my father died when I was nine months of age, and I thought you know God can take me off the scene but I wanna be sure whenever He did, you knew what to do. [00:07:38]
And then one other thing, and you just alluded to it, you did a great job intentionally reminding my sister and I, Becky and I that, ultimately, we weren't accountable to you anyway. That, ultimately, we were accountable to God. [00:09:49]
And the way you taught us that, again, we would ask you a question or not advice, but a decision we had to make and you would say have you prayed about it? Have you prayed about it? And that was so frustrating because I'm like I don't need to pray about it. I just need you to help me make the decision. But you consistently said, ask God and you know whatever you feel like the Lord wants you to do. [00:10:06]
And so, as far as the church was concerned it was more important to me for us to be together, regardless of what people thought. And so I enjoyed it and what I tried to do is to give you all the experiences that I wish I'd had if I'd of had a father and to go to all the places we went. And if you think of all the things that we did and the one thing I loved about the travel trailer was we were all together. [00:15:26]
You only have one life. These kids are only gonna be yours at this age. We're gonna live it up in order to enjoy one another and you have not forgotten it. [00:16:38]
I think I'd have to give my mother credit for that. For example, every once in a while back in those days, some little boy, a couple of little kids would come up and knock on the door and ask, "Do y'all have any bread?" My mom always gave them something and sometimes I'd look and I'd say, "We're not gonna have any left, I don't think." She said, "No, we're gonna give them this." My mom taught me to be generous, to be kind and I knew she made $9.10 cents a week for 40 hours in the cotton mill. [00:21:01]
So I just realized that pretty early, I couldn't outgive God. No matter how much I gave, what the motivation was, I couldn't outgive him. He always blessed me over and over and over again. So I wanted to help other people. And I wanted to be sure when I stood up and preached to other people about giving, that I knew in my heart, I gave it the best God wanted me to give however much it was. So, it's not been hard for me to give. Giving is just part of being who I am and I think about how God's blessed me. He said, "Give and it shall be given to you, good measure, pressed down, shaken together." I believe that. [00:23:41]
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