Pull Up an Empty Chair: Learning to Pray

We began the year by naming our aim: to become a house of prayer. Not complicated, not flashy—simply a people who pull up an empty chair and talk with Jesus. I shared Brennan Manning’s story of a dying man who “prayed” by speaking to Christ in an empty chair, a posture so simple and honest that I’m convinced it delights Jesus. That is our vision this year: inspire and equip you to pull up a chair, to know the God who wants to be known.

Jesus’ teaching in Matthew 6 resets our expectations: don’t show off; just show up. Shut the door, speak honestly, and keep showing up. The prayer Jesus gives begins with adoration: “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name.” He makes the all-powerful God deeply personal—Father—and keeps Him holy—hallowed. Before we ask for anything, we return our hearts to the One who loves us. Scripture calls us “beloved” far more than “Christian.” In the garden, humanity began to hide out of shame. Prayer is the slow, brave work of coming out of hiding again.

To help us, I offered breath prayers—simple lines you pray with your breathing: “Abba, I belong to You,” or “Lord, I believe; help my unbelief.” Start small: two minutes, twice a day. Prayer is physiotherapy, not surgery. The muscle strengthens through gentle persistence. Augustine’s story—brought to Jesus after his mother’s 17 years of tearful prayer—reminds us that perseverance is often the path God uses, even when we don’t know why it takes so long.

Adoration also restores perspective. Like standing before a Renaissance altarpiece on your knees, everything comes into focus when we begin with who God is—personal and powerful. We’ll face big questions too. Many of us carry stories of both answered and unanswered prayer. We won’t dodge that tension; we’ll run the Unanswered Prayer Course as we move toward Easter. Along the way, we’ll add “colors to the palette” of prayer—petition, intercession, and more—while welcoming voices like Jill Weber and Phil Togwell to help us practice.

My hope is simple: that Jesus would walk into this house and find a people who don’t show off, but who keep showing up. Two minutes becomes ten, ten becomes thirty, and in time a life becomes a prayer.

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Key Takeaways

• 1. Don’t show off; just show up Showing up with honest words is the ground where real prayer grows. Impressiveness creates distance; simplicity makes room for relationship. God isn’t measuring our phrasing but welcoming our presence. Faithfulness in small, hidden moments forms a life God can shape.
• 2. Start with adoration, not asking “Father… hallowed” reorders the heart before the needs rush in. Adoration doesn’t ignore our problems; it relocates them beneath God’s character. When we begin on the mountaintop of who He is, valleys look different. Perspective is not denial; it is clarity.
• 3. Come out of hiding daily Shame teaches us to avoid God; the gospel invites us back. Prayer is the daily undoing of fear’s reflex, choosing belovedness over self-protection. Confession becomes less a courtroom and more a homecoming. The empty chair is where hiding ends.
• 4. Prayer is physiotherapy, not surgery Growth is usually gradual and embodied—two minutes at a time. Don’t despise small beginnings; muscles strengthen by steady use. Perseverance forms depth that flash never delivers. Over time you’ll discover you’ve been changed by the very habit that first felt awkward.

Bible reading
Matthew 6:5–13 (The Lord’s Prayer, Jesus’ teaching on prayer)
- “And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward. But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you. And when you pray, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do, for they think that they will be heard for their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him. Pray then like this:
Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name.
Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.”

Observation questions (look closely at the text and the sermon)

1. What public behaviors does Jesus condemn in verses 5–6, and what specific private actions does he instruct instead?
2. The prayer Jesus gives opens, “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name.” What two basic facts about God does that opening line state?
3. Verse 7 warns against “many words.” What reason does the passage give for not piling up words when we pray?
4. Where in the passage do you find the practical rhythm that supports repetition and persistence in prayer (the “keep showing up” idea the sermon emphasized)?

Interpretation questions (think about what the passage and sermon mean)

1. What difference does addressing God as “Our Father” make for a person’s posture and confidence in prayer? How would this contrast with someone who imagines God as distant or angry?
2. How does starting with “hallowed be your name” reorder a person’s heart before they bring requests? In concrete terms, how might this change what someone actually prays for or how they pray about a crisis?
3. When Jesus says not to use many words, is he dismissing asking for needs and petitions? What motive or attitude is he targeting?
4. The pastor said “prayer is physiotherapy, not surgery.” How does that image help interpret Jesus’ instruction to pray privately and persistently rather than expecting instant results?

Application questions (specific, personal steps to try)

1. Pick a simple breath prayer to use this week (examples: “Abba, I belong to you”; “Lord, I believe—help my unbelief”; “Lord, help me be still and know you are God”). Commit to two minutes, twice a day, for the next seven days. When exactly will you do it? (write day/time)
2. Where will you pull up an “empty chair”? Name a specific place at home, at work, or in the car where you will go to pray privately this week. Put that as a reminder in your phone or calendar.
3. Think honestly: is there a way you “show off” in prayer (public performance, long-winded prayers, posting about prayer to impress)? Choose one concrete change you will make this week to practice private, honest prayer instead.
4. Is there a person you’ve been praying for but feeling discouraged about (a child, friend, spouse)? Choose one person and make a simple persistence plan: how often you’ll pray for them, what you’ll pray (a short sentence or breath prayer), and how long you’ll commit to keep praying before reassessing.
5. Identify one shame or fear that makes you hide from God. This week, say one honest sentence to God about that shame (write it down first if that helps) and then speak it aloud when you pull up your chair.
6. What small habit will you attach prayer to so it becomes “physiotherapy” not a flash of zeal? (Example: pray the breath prayer with your morning coffee, on the walk to work, or before you pick up your phone at night.) Name the trigger and commit to it for the next 7 days.
7. If unanswered prayer is weighing on you, will you bring one story of unanswered or confusing prayer to a group or the upcoming Unanswered Prayer Course? Write down one question you’d like to bring.

Close
Let’s treat these next weeks as training time: small, steady steps—two minutes, twice a day—so the prayer muscle actually grows. At the next meeting share one thing you tried and one thing you noticed.