Leadership in the Home: Guiding Families to Christ
Summary
Today’s focus is on the vital importance of godly leadership, both in the church and in the home. Drawing from Titus 1:5-9, the call is clear: leadership sets the tone, direction, and culture for every environment—whether that’s a congregation or a family. Paul’s instructions to Titus, who was tasked with bringing order to the chaotic and morally compromised churches of Crete, are as relevant now as they were then. The Cretans, notorious for their lack of integrity and rampant disorder, needed leaders who would model a radically different way of life—one marked by maturity, faithfulness, and spiritual authority.
Leadership in God’s design is not about perfection, but about being “above reproach”—unimpeachable in character, not flawless. The qualifications for elders—also called overseers or pastors—are not just for those in formal church office, but are a blueprint for every Christian parent and leader. The home is the first proving ground for leadership. Children are not meant to be treated as equals to their parents; rather, parents are called to shepherd, guide, and correct with consistency and love, pointing their children to Christ and not leaving their spiritual formation to chance or cultural trends.
Paul’s list of qualifications is both a warning and an invitation. Leaders must avoid arrogance, quick tempers, drunkenness, violence, and greed. Instead, they are to be hospitable, lovers of good, self-controlled, upright, holy, and disciplined. These are not just church values—they are family values. The way we lead at home reflects our capacity to lead in God’s house. Marital faithfulness and intentional parenting are not optional; they are essential. The spiritual health of the next generation depends on parents who are willing to do the hard work of discipline, correction, and consistent example.
Ultimately, leadership is about humble service. Jesus modeled this by washing His disciples’ feet, and we are called to do the same—serving our families and our church with sacrificial love. The call is to hold firmly to the trustworthy Word, to teach sound doctrine, and to be able to discern truth from error. In a world of chaos and shifting values, God’s people are to be anchored, disciplined, and marked by a love that points others to Christ.
Key Takeaways
- Godly leadership begins at home and is proven in the daily rhythms of family life. The way parents lead, correct, and shepherd their children is a direct reflection of their spiritual maturity and readiness to lead in the church. Leadership is not about being perfect, but about being consistent, humble, and above reproach in character. [10:17]
- The biblical qualifications for elders—being above reproach, faithful in marriage, and intentional in parenting—are not rigid legalisms but wise guardrails. Paul’s instruction about being “the husband of one wife” addresses the cultural context of polygamy in Crete, emphasizing marital faithfulness and integrity over mere technicalities. This calls us to examine the heart of our commitments, not just the letter of the law. [28:25]
- Leadership is defined as much by what it avoids as by what it pursues. Arrogance, quick tempers, drunkenness, violence, and greed are disqualifying not only for church leaders but for anyone seeking to influence others for Christ. True leadership is marked by humility, self-control, and a willingness to serve rather than be served, echoing the example of Jesus Himself. [34:44]
- The home is the primary training ground for spiritual leadership. Parents are called to actively shepherd their children, not leaving their spiritual direction to chance or cultural trends. It is not loving to let children “find their own spiritual path”; rather, it is a sacred responsibility to point them to Christ, model faith, and create an environment where the gospel is central. [30:20]
- Sound doctrine and discernment are essential for both church and family leaders. Holding firmly to the trustworthy Word enables us to teach, correct, and protect those under our care from error. In a world full of competing voices, leaders must be anchored in truth, able to distinguish between what is of God and what is not, and courageous enough to lovingly correct when necessary. [46:27]
Youtube Chapters
[00:00] - Welcome
[01:00] - Honoring Mothers and Special Gifts
[03:00] - Setting the Context: Titus and Crete
[05:20] - Paul’s Charge: Bringing Order to Chaos
[06:52] - Qualifications for Elders
[08:42] - The Importance of Godly Leadership
[10:17] - Leadership in the Home
[13:11] - The Consequences of Bad Leadership
[15:20] - Elders, Overseers, and Pastors: One Office
[18:59] - The Meaning of “Pastor” and “Shepherd”
[21:33] - Above Reproach: The Standard for Leaders
[25:12] - Misunderstandings about “Husband of One Wife”
[28:25] - Marital Faithfulness and Parenting as Leadership
[34:44] - The Five “Must Nots” for Leaders
[44:03] - The Six “Musts” for Leaders
[46:27] - Holding Firm to Sound Doctrine and Closing Prayer
Study Guide
Bible Study Discussion Guide: Godly Leadership in the Church and Home
*(Based on Titus 1:5-9 and the sermon summary above)*
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### Bible Reading
- Titus 1:5-9
“This is why I left you in Crete, so that you might put what remained into order, and appoint elders in every town as I directed you—if anyone is above reproach, the husband of one wife, and his children are believers and not open to the charge of debauchery or insubordination. For an overseer, as God’s steward, must be above reproach. He must not be arrogant or quick-tempered or a drunkard or violent or greedy for gain, but hospitable, a lover of good, self-controlled, upright, holy, and disciplined. He must hold firm to the trustworthy word as taught, so that he may be able to give instruction in sound doctrine and also to rebuke those who contradict it.”
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### Observation Questions
1. According to Titus 1:5-9, what are the specific character qualities Paul says are required for elders/overseers in the church?
2. In the sermon, what was the cultural problem in Crete that made Paul’s instructions about leadership so urgent? ([05:20])
3. How does Paul describe the relationship between leadership in the church and leadership in the home? ([10:17])
4. What does “above reproach” mean in the context of this passage and sermon? ([21:33])
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### Interpretation Questions
1. Why do you think Paul emphasizes being “above reproach” rather than being “perfect” for leaders? How does this standard apply to parents and not just church elders? ([21:33])
2. The sermon explains that “the husband of one wife” is about marital faithfulness, not just technical marital status. Why is faithfulness in marriage and intentional parenting so important for spiritual leadership? ([28:25])
3. The sermon says that letting children “find their own spiritual path” is not loving or biblical. Why is it so important for parents to actively shepherd their children’s faith? ([30:20])
4. Paul lists both things leaders must avoid (arrogance, quick temper, drunkenness, violence, greed) and things they must pursue (hospitality, love of good, self-control, uprightness, holiness, discipline). Why is it important to pay attention to both what we avoid and what we pursue as leaders? ([34:44])
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### Application Questions
1. Think about your own family or home life. In what ways are you setting the “tone, direction, and culture” for your household? Are there areas where you want to be more intentional as a leader? ([10:17])
2. The sermon says leadership is proven in the daily rhythms of family life, not just in public or at church. What is one small, consistent action you could take this week to model godly character at home? ([10:17])
3. Paul’s list of “must nots” for leaders includes arrogance, quick temper, drunkenness, violence, and greed. Which of these do you find most challenging to avoid, and what is one step you could take to address it? ([34:44])
4. The sermon challenges parents not to leave their children’s spiritual formation to chance or culture. What is one practical way you can point your children (or someone you influence) to Christ this week? ([30:20])
5. “Above reproach” means being unimpeachable in character, not flawless. Is there an area of your life where you need to set up a new “guardrail” to protect your integrity? What would that look like? ([21:33])
6. The sermon says leadership is about humble service, following Jesus’ example of washing His disciples’ feet. What is one way you can serve your family or church this week that might cost you something? ([34:44])
7. Paul says leaders must “hold firm to the trustworthy word” and be able to teach and correct. How can you grow in your ability to discern truth from error, both for yourself and those you lead? ([46:27])
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Closing Prayer Suggestion:
Ask God to help you lead with humility, faithfulness, and love—both at home and in the church. Pray for wisdom to shepherd those under your care and courage to hold firmly to the truth.
Devotional
Day 1: Godly Leadership Brings Order to Chaos
God calls leaders to bring order where there is disorder, both in the church and at home. True leadership is not about position or title, but about setting the tone, direction, and culture for those you influence. Whether in your family or in your church, your example shapes the environment—when leadership is lacking or unhealthy, chaos and confusion often follow. As parents, you are called to lovingly guide your children, not as their equals or best friends, but as those entrusted by God to shepherd and correct them. Don’t grow weary in doing good, even when it feels like your efforts aren’t working; consistency and faithfulness will bear fruit in time. [10:17]
Titus 1:5 (ESV)
"This is why I left you in Crete, so that you might put what remained into order, and appoint elders in every town as I directed you."
Reflection: In what area of your home or relationships do you sense disorder or chaos, and how can you intentionally lead with godly order and consistency today?
Day 2: Leadership Begins at Home
The qualifications for church leaders are rooted in how they lead their own families. Marriage and parenting are the testing grounds for proven leadership, revealing character, faithfulness, and the ability to shepherd others. God’s design is that parents point their children to Jesus, not leaving their spiritual direction to chance or culture. Your role is to model faith, teach God’s Word, and create an environment where your children know the truth of the gospel. Even if your children stray, your faithfulness in pointing them to Christ matters deeply, and the ultimate work of salvation is the Holy Spirit’s. [30:20]
Titus 1:6 (ESV)
"If anyone is above reproach, the husband of one wife, and his children are believers and not open to the charge of debauchery or insubordination."
Reflection: What is one intentional step you can take this week to point your children or those you influence toward Jesus, regardless of their current response?
Day 3: The Character of a Godly Leader
Godly leaders are called to be above reproach—not perfect, but unimpeachable in character. This means living with integrity, humility, and faithfulness, both in public and private. The list of “must nots” for leaders—arrogance, quick temper, drunkenness, violence, and greed—reminds us that leadership is about serving others, not serving self. In your home, workplace, or church, your character is always on display, especially to those closest to you. Let your life be marked by humility, self-control, and a willingness to serve, reflecting the heart of Jesus who came not to be served, but to serve. [34:44]
Titus 1:7 (ESV)
"For an overseer, as God's steward, must be above reproach. He must not be arrogant or quick-tempered or a drunkard or violent or greedy for gain."
Reflection: Which of these “must nots” do you most need to surrender to God today, and what practical step can you take to grow in Christlike character?
Day 4: The Positive Marks of Spiritual Leadership
Godly leaders are not only known by what they avoid, but by what they pursue: hospitality, love of good, self-control, uprightness, holiness, and discipline. These qualities are not reserved for church elders alone, but are God’s desire for every believer, especially those leading in the home. Being hospitable means making time for people; loving good means choosing what is right over what is easy; self-control and discipline mean responding with wisdom rather than emotion. Holiness is not about being flawless, but about living in humble dependence on God’s grace, letting His Spirit transform you from the inside out. [45:02]
Titus 1:8-9 (ESV)
"but hospitable, a lover of good, self-controlled, upright, holy, and disciplined. He must hold firm to the trustworthy word as taught, so that he may be able to give instruction in sound doctrine and also to rebuke those who contradict it."
Reflection: Which of these positive qualities do you sense God inviting you to cultivate more intentionally in your life this week?
Day 5: Holding Firm to the Truth
A spiritual leader must hold firmly to the trustworthy Word of God, able to teach sound doctrine and discern truth from error. In a world full of competing voices and shifting values, it is vital to know God’s Word deeply and to stand on its truth, both for your own life and for those you lead. This steadfastness equips you to instruct, encourage, and, when necessary, lovingly correct those who are straying. In your home, let God’s Word be your foundation, guiding your decisions and conversations, so that you and your family are anchored in truth and able to recognize and reject what is false. [46:27]
2 Timothy 3:16-17 (ESV)
"All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work."
Reflection: How can you make God’s Word a more central part of your daily life and conversations this week, so that you and those you lead are anchored in truth?
Quotes
But here's the good news. It doesn't say faultless. It doesn't say perfect. Because if it said that, only Jesus would be an elder in God's church. You know what I mean? Right. Come on now. We're talking about a church that's led by people that have been redeemed by God. They are not flawless. They are not perfect. [00:22:15] (22 seconds)
The King of kings and the Lord of lords, the greatest of us that would ever exist, was a servant. He himself said the Son of Man came to serve, not to be served. And that's what he calls God's leaders in the church to be, and that's what he calls you to be in your home. Serve one another. [00:35:29] (18 seconds)
Our job as parents is not to let our kids find their own spiritual path. That is satanic nonsense. And if you find that I am offending you with my words, I want you to receive this with a heart of love from a pastor. I care. Listen, I know every single person in here wants your children to love the Lord and wants your children one day when they leave this world to go to heaven to be with Jesus forever and with you in eternity. [00:29:53] (26 seconds)
Leadership is about humility. Leadership is about service. Leadership is about running to the front of the line to be able to submit yourself in humble service to other people. Jesus, before, I mean, you're talking about Passion Week. Excuse me. Before he went to the cross, before he had the Last Supper with his disciples, what did he do that day? Say it louder. He washed his disciples' feet. [00:34:58] (30 seconds)
He must hold firm to the trustworthy word as taught so that he may be able to give instruction in sound doctrine and also to rebuke those who contradict it. Elders got to give instruction in sound doctrine. In other words, they got to be able to identify what it is and what it isn't. They've got to know the truth and they got to know the lie. Friends, you've got to be able to do the same thing in your homes, the truth from the lie. [00:47:06] (23 seconds)
What makes us holy? The cross. What Jesus has done, and only what Jesus has done, makes us respond with a life of holy devotion, living on God's Word and the fear of God and reverence to Him, resting in the grace of God for how He has set us free from sin, keeping us humble in the understanding of we're not getting better. [00:45:51] (19 seconds)
A leader's got to have a desire to choose what's right over what's easy. You need to do this in your home, and your children need to see this too. A love for goodness that aligns with a passion for God and what the Bible directs us to do in terms of how we live and move and have our being. [00:44:45] (15 seconds)
How do you lead your home well if you're getting drunk at night? How do you lead your home well if you're getting high or trying to get away from whatever problems and pain you have instead of turning to God, who has the actual power to free you from whatever prison you feel trapped in? If it's true for elders in the church, it's true in the home. [00:40:48] (18 seconds)
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