MATTHEW 19:1-9 | The King's Divorce Laws

Oct 26, 2025

Devotional

Day 1: Forgiveness Without Limits Among Believers

Christians are called to forgive one another without limits, reflecting the infinite forgiveness God has shown us through Christ. This forgiveness is not just a suggestion but a command, and when we withhold forgiveness from others, especially fellow believers, we invite God's loving discipline into our lives. True forgiveness means starting with a clean slate every time, just as God does with us, and it is the foundation for healthy relationships within the body of Christ. [01:11]

Matthew 18:21-22 (ESV)
Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.”

Reflection: Is there someone in your life, especially a fellow believer, whom you have struggled to forgive? What would it look like to offer them a truly clean slate today, as God has done for you?

Day 2: God’s Design for Marriage—Unity and Permanence

Marriage, as instituted by God from the beginning, is a union where two become one flesh, joined together by God Himself, and is meant to be inseparable and enduring. This relationship takes precedence even over the bond with parents, and the word "cleave" describes a deep, inseparable attachment, like flesh to bone, emphasizing that marriage is not to be entered lightly or dissolved easily. In a God-ordained marriage, both spouses are called to serve and love one another selflessly, reflecting Christ’s love, and to remain united through all circumstances. [21:37]

Matthew 19:4-6 (ESV)
He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

Reflection: In what ways can you intentionally “cleave” to your spouse (or, if unmarried, support the marriages around you) this week, demonstrating the unity and commitment God designed for marriage?

Day 3: The Reality and Cause of Divorce—Hardness of Heart

Divorce exists not because it was part of God’s original design, but because of the hardness of human hearts and the entrance of sin into the world. The laws given through Moses regarding divorce were not commands to separate, but allowances made to protect the vulnerable and discourage rash decisions, especially in a sin-cursed world. God’s heart grieves over divorce, and His desire is always for reconciliation and the protection of those most at risk, reminding us that sin distorts what He created to be good and lasting. [27:53]

Deuteronomy 24:1-4 (ESV)
“When a man takes a wife and marries her, if then she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, and she departs out of his house, and if she goes and becomes another man’s wife, and the latter man hates her and writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, or if the latter man dies, who took her to be his wife, then her former husband, who sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after she has been defiled, for that is an abomination before the Lord. And you shall not bring sin upon the land that the Lord your God is giving you for an inheritance.”

Reflection: Are there areas in your heart where hardness or unforgiveness has taken root, especially in your closest relationships? How can you invite God to soften your heart and restore what sin has damaged?

Day 4: Grace and Restoration After Failure

No matter how much we have failed or how many scars we carry from broken relationships, Jesus offers forgiveness, repentance, and a path forward. The story of the woman at the well reminds us that Christ does not condemn us for our past but offers living water, a new start, and the opportunity to walk in His grace—even when others may still judge or remember our failures. While the consequences of sin may remain, God’s mercy is greater, and He calls us to follow Him from wherever we are, trusting Him to redeem our story for His glory. [51:23]

John 4:13-14, 16-18 (ESV)
Jesus said to her, “Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” … Jesus said to her, “Go, call your husband, and come here.” The woman answered him, “I have no husband.” Jesus said to her, “You are right in saying, ‘I have no husband’; for you have had five husbands, and the one you now have is not your husband. What you have said is true.”

Reflection: What past failures or scars do you need to bring to Jesus today, trusting Him for forgiveness and a new beginning, regardless of what others may think?

Day 5: Contentment and Faithfulness in Your Present Calling

Whatever your past—whether single, married, divorced, or remarried—God calls you to be faithful and content in your current situation, walking in obedience from the moment you understand His truth. The call is not to undo the past, but to follow Christ wholeheartedly now, trusting that He redeems and uses even our brokenness for His purposes. The most important question is not where you have been, but whether you are willing to walk in God’s ways today, letting Him lead you forward in faith. [48:48]

1 Corinthians 7:17-20 (ESV)
Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him. This is my rule in all the churches. Was anyone at the time of his call already circumcised? Let him not seek to remove the marks of circumcision. Was anyone at the time of his call uncircumcised? Let him not seek circumcision. For neither circumcision counts for anything nor uncircumcision, but keeping the commandments of God. Each one should remain in the condition in which he was called.

Reflection: In what ways can you practice contentment and faithfulness in your current season of life, trusting God to use you right where you are?

Sermon Summary

Forgiveness is at the heart of Christian life, and nowhere is this more powerfully tested than in our closest relationships—especially marriage. The call to forgive without limits is rooted in the infinite forgiveness we ourselves have received from God through Christ’s sacrifice. This radical forgiveness is not just a lofty ideal; it is the foundation for how believers are to interact with one another, and it is especially vital within the covenant of marriage. When two Christians are joined together, their union is meant to reflect God’s original design: a relationship so close and inseparable that it is compared to flesh clinging to bone. This is not a mere contract, but a divinely inspired bond, a cleaving together that is meant to last a lifetime.

Yet, sin complicates everything. The reality of hard hearts and brokenness means that divorce exists, not because it was ever God’s intention, but as a concession to human sinfulness. Jesus, when confronted by the Pharisees about divorce, does not get drawn into their debates or cultural controversies. Instead, He points back to God’s original intent for marriage: a lifelong, exclusive union between a man and a woman. The only biblical grounds for divorce between believers, according to Jesus, is sexual immorality. Even then, the emphasis is on forgiveness and restoration wherever possible.

For those who have experienced divorce or remarriage, or who find themselves in complex situations, God’s grace is not absent. The Scriptures acknowledge the messiness of life in a fallen world. Paul, in 1 Corinthians 7, addresses situations where a believer is married to an unbeliever, or where someone comes to faith after marriage. The guiding principle is to remain faithful where God has called you, seeking peace and honoring Christ in your current circumstances. There is mercy and forgiveness for past ignorance and sin, but also a call to repentance and a new way of living.

Ultimately, marriage is not just for our happiness, but for God’s glory. A Christian home, marked by sacrificial love and limitless forgiveness, is a testimony to the world of the transforming power of the gospel. Even in the aftermath of failure, Jesus offers living water, restoration, and a new beginning. The scars may remain, but so does His grace, calling us to walk forward in faithfulness and hope.

Key Takeaways

1. Forgiveness is the Foundation of Christian Relationships The call to forgive without limits is not optional for believers; it is a direct response to the immeasurable forgiveness we have received from God. This forgiveness is to be extended especially to fellow believers, and most intimately to our spouses. When we struggle to forgive, we must remember the price Christ paid for our own sins and let that humble us into extending grace to others. [01:11]
2. God’s Design for Marriage is Lifelong and Inseparable Marriage, as instituted by God, is a union where two become one flesh—a bond as close as flesh to bone. This cleaving is not just emotional or contractual, but a spiritual joining that is meant to be permanent. To tear apart what God has joined is as unnatural and painful as tearing flesh from bone, underscoring the seriousness with which God views the marriage covenant. [24:05]
3. Divorce Exists Because of Human Sinfulness, Not God’s Will Jesus makes it clear that divorce was permitted by Moses only because of the hardness of human hearts, not because it was ever God’s intention. The Pharisees twisted Scripture to justify their actions, but Jesus points back to the original design. The existence of divorce is a testimony to the brokenness of humanity and the need for new hearts, not a license for self-serving decisions. [28:31]
4. God’s Grace Meets Us in Our Messy Realities For those who have experienced divorce, remarriage, or find themselves in complicated situations, God’s grace is abundant. Paul teaches that believers should remain faithful in the circumstances where they were called, trusting God’s mercy for past ignorance and sin. While there may be scars and consequences, repentance and faithfulness in the present are what matter most to God. [48:48]
5. Marriage is Ultimately for God’s Glory, Not Just Our Happiness A Christian marriage is designed to reflect the love, forgiveness, and faithfulness of Christ. Our homes are to be places where God’s glory is displayed through sacrificial love and mutual service. Even when we fail, Jesus offers restoration and a new beginning, calling us to live out the gospel in our most intimate relationships.

** [05:01]

Youtube Chapters

[00:00] - Welcome
[00:30] - Forgiveness Among Believers
[03:02] - Forgiveness Applied to Marriage
[05:01] - God’s Glory in Christian Marriage
[07:31] - The Pharisees’ Trap: Divorce Question
[10:10] - Cultural Context and Rabbinic Debate
[12:38] - Jesus Responds with Truth
[15:15] - God’s Definition of Marriage
[19:04] - The Kingdom Standard for Marriage
[21:37] - The Meaning of “Cleave”
[24:05] - Marriage as Inseparable Union
[27:15] - Why Divorce Exists: Hardness of Heart
[29:13] - The Law’s Allowance and Its Purpose
[33:47] - Divorce Laws Protecting the Vulnerable
[36:56] - Jesus’ Kingdom Decree on Divorce
[40:39] - Paul’s Teaching: Mixed Marriages
[44:59] - Grace for Past Mistakes
[48:48] - Abiding in God’s Calling
[51:23] - The Woman at the Well: Restoration
[52:43] - Five Principles on Marriage and Divorce
[57:08] - Preparing for the Lord’s Supper

Bible Study Guide

Bible Study Discussion Guide: Forgiveness, Marriage, and God’s Grace

Bible Reading

Matthew 19:1-9 (ESV)
> Now when Jesus had finished these sayings, he went away from Galilee and entered the region of Judea beyond the Jordan. And large crowds followed him, and he healed them there. And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause?” He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” They said to him, “Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?” He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”

1 Corinthians 7:12-20 (ESV)
> To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace. For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife? Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him. This is my rule in all the churches.

Observation Questions

According to Jesus in Matthew 19, what was God’s original design for marriage, and how does He describe the union between husband and wife?

[[15:15]]

What reason does Jesus give for why Moses allowed divorce, and how does this differ from God’s original intent?

[[28:31]]

In 1 Corinthians 7, what instructions does Paul give to believers who are married to unbelievers?

[[41:51]]

What does Jesus say is the only biblical ground for divorce between believers?

[[38:52]]

Interpretation Questions

Why does Jesus point back to creation when answering the Pharisees’ question about divorce, instead of engaging in their debate? What does this reveal about how we should approach questions about marriage?

[[15:15]]

The sermon compares the marriage bond to flesh clinging to bone. What does this metaphor communicate about the seriousness and permanence of marriage?

[[24:05]]

How does the concept of “hardness of heart” help explain the existence of divorce, and what does it say about the human condition?

[[28:31]]

Paul tells believers to “remain faithful where God has called you.” How might this principle apply to someone who has experienced divorce or remarriage before coming to faith?

[[48:48]]

Application Questions

The sermon says forgiveness is the foundation of Christian relationships, especially in marriage. Think of a time when you struggled to forgive your spouse or someone close to you. What made it difficult, and how might remembering Christ’s forgiveness help you move forward?

[[01:11]]

Jesus describes marriage as a bond as close as flesh to bone. If you are married, what are some practical ways you can “cleave” to your spouse this week, especially if things are hard? If you are not married, how does this picture of marriage shape your view of relationships?

[[24:05]]

The sermon acknowledges that many have regrets or scars from past relationships. How can you accept God’s grace for your past, and what does it look like to “walk forward in faithfulness and hope” in your current situation?

[[48:48]]

For those who have experienced divorce or remarriage, the sermon emphasizes that God’s grace is not absent. How can the church community better support people in these situations, rather than judge or exclude them?

[[40:39]]

The only biblical ground for divorce between believers is sexual immorality, but even then, the emphasis is on forgiveness and restoration. How do you think a couple can pursue restoration after betrayal, and what role does the church play in that process?

[[38:52]]

The sermon says marriage is ultimately for God’s glory, not just our happiness. What are some ways you can intentionally seek to bring God glory in your home or relationships this week?

[[05:01]]

If you are in a complicated or “messy” situation, what is one step you can take this week to honor Christ where you are, trusting His mercy for the past and seeking faithfulness now?

[[48:48]]

Closing Thought:
No matter your story, Jesus offers living water, restoration, and a new beginning. The scars may remain, but so does His grace. Let’s encourage one another to walk forward in faithfulness and hope.

Sermon Clips

“So, um, we left off last week ending Matthew 18. And the whole the basic, um, I guess subject of the whole chapter was teaching Christians the correct way to interact with each other mostly. But then obviously that that has farreaching effects with how we interact with everyone. Um the the last thing we left off with last week in that chapter is is emphasizing that Christians are to forgive without limits. Okay? We are to be the most forgiving people in the world for the sole reason of we've been forgiven for so much. It should be easy for us to forgive when we think about the infinite forgiveness God gave us and and and the price he paid to forgive us on the cross. And so we should be able to freely forgive people as well.”

“I want you to understand that as I prepared this this outline and as I'm studying these verses, I had to realize that a a solid Christian marriage, a loving, happy home. It's for God's glory first and foremost, not necessarily for ours. So as I as I preach these truths to you, I want you to understand I understand I'm speaking to people people who have have maybe a lot of you messed up, right? Maybe a lot of us can look back on a lot of regrets. And so I'm talking to people, but really what we're trying to do is is apply these truths to our lives so that our savior gets glory. And listen, he can clean up some big messes, right?”

“Understand that that it should be um something that's that's somewhat I don't know if easy is the right word. We should be able to live together as Christian spouses and have a happy home for God's glory. When we consider that at some point in the past, we have singled that person out as our favorite person in the world, right? I mean, any of you that's been married, at some point in your life, you looked at that person and said, "I love that one. I love that one so much that I want to spend the rest of my life with them." Now, we should be able to get along, especially considering what we've talked about here in these verses just before, right, in chapter 18 about forgiveness.”

“Now, of course, one thing is is for sure. Sin complicates everything, right? So, along with these truths, we're going to look at the exceptions to the rule as well. We'll have to to keep this balanced and and just say what the Bible says about it. And let me again, let me just give you a bit of a of a disclaimer here. Understand as we read this that this happens in kind of a question and answer conversation. The Pharisees are asking questions. Jesus is giving answers. And this all happened fairly quick. We're having to go through this fairly slow. Okay? So, as I'm as I'm preaching for the next, you know, 40 minutes or so, what we're preaching about something that's happening in in four or five minutes, okay? So, I can't preach all that at one time because we have to put it in context, understand it. If you'll stick with me, if you hear something you're going, that's not right. I don't know about that. Give me a minute, okay? Keep listening. And I hope some some of your questions, if not all, will be answered as we keep moving.”

“Here's what I love about it. As I read Christ's words, he did not care in the least what anybody was going to think about this. When they asked this question, the thought never entered his mind, h if everybody's following Shemi, if everybody's following hell or what are these people's thoughts or what's this going to do to my crowd? He didn't go to a specific uh you know situation that he knew of of a husband and wife divorcing and think what about that. He he didn't take that into account in the least little bit. He simply said okay what is the truth? That's it.”

“There's a time to get specific about your specific situation, but first we have to say, okay, what is truth? What does God say? Okay, I love that Jesus just speaks the truth and he lets people do what they do. Meaning, there's some people that are looking to justify themselves or some other situation they know that's close to them and so they'll figure out a way to justify it. Some people just hate the word of God anyway. They don't care what it says. There's some people are really looking for truth though and they want to conform their lives to it. And those people are everybody's going to do what they do and the truth makes them do it.”

“What he's saying is, "Haven't you read the Bible? Can't you just read it? Don’t I mean, he's looking at them going like, "Hey, y'all are the rabbis. You're the You're the scholars. You're the Pharisees. Uh why are you asking this? You can just read it. Let me tell you, every complication, every problem, every if this, then that that comes up after that moment can be traced back to that right there. Have Have you not read everything that comes up just just read the Bible. Just obey it. He's saying you should have already known this, but he goes back to creation.”

“Now, Jesus's point here when he when he talks about these two verses, he's saying that when God gave humanity the gift of marriage, there was no need for divorce. There was not even a thought of divorce. Okay, he's going back to what did God make to begin with? He made something perfect. Get it? Then came the fall of man, right? Sin curse came into creation, came into the human heart. The man and his wife though in that moment they were totally innocent. They were in perfect harmony. Right? When God created man and woman and he gave Eve to Adam, she was his compliment. He was uh she was his help meat.”

“That cleave. We need to get that. That's a that's a really great word. Cleave means uh to glue to something. It means to adhere to something. And don't miss this last part. This I love this. It means to join one's self to. What I mean is you didn't pick your parents, right? But you singled out that spouse. You glued yourself to that person. You hitched your star to that wagon, right? You said, "This is Yeah, that's that's that's the one for me." You glued yourself to this person.”

“Now, don't miss this. Okay. Now, we're talking about in a God- orained marriage here. We're talking about a marriage between two believers. In a God- orained marriage, it's not a duty to get married. It's not like, "Okay, I'm supposed to get married. I'm going to do it." That's not it. Okay? It's not even a take it or leave it kind of a relationship, is it? When it's a God- orained marriage, it is a divinely inspired choice for that one. What I mean is, let me tell you something. Hey, young folks, listen. You're unmarried. I'm I'm talking to you right now, okay? And I want some amens from you older folks, too, okay? Who've been there and done it.”

“When the other person is hurting, when the other person is even hurting you, you don't say, "I'm done with you." You help them. That's a Christian marriage. And get this, if you did that enough, pretty soon you'd be nothing but bones and you'd be dead, right? Okay? A skeleton is not a human being. A skeleton is useless without that flesh. That flesh is useless without those bones. You getting the picture? God has brought people together and he says, "It's not good for man to be alone. Here is your mate and here is your compliment and you go together and you make a whole person." He says, "You help each other. You do that complimenting. You do that sharpening, you do do the hard parts. That's a biblical godly marriage.”

“That's a marriage. When the other person is hurting, when the other person is even hurting you, you don't say, "I'm done with you." You help them. That's a Christian marriage. And get this, if you did that enough, pretty soon you'd be nothing but bones and you'd be dead, right? Okay? A skeleton is not a human being. A skeleton is useless without that flesh. That flesh is useless without those bones. You getting the picture? God has brought people together and he says, "It's not good for man to be alone. Here is your mate and here is your compliment and you go together and you make a whole person." He says, "You help each other. You do that complimenting. You do that sharpening, you do do the hard parts. That's a biblical godly marriage.”

“You could say that divorce is an irrelevant subject for the g for the the the citizens of Jesus's kingdom. It's not on the table because forgiveness is the first go-to. as we just talked about last week. Now, I also want you to notice this. Notice how God describes marriage from the start. Okay? What was marriage supposed to be? He describes it by comparing the relationship of a man and wife to the relationship with their parents. Now, look at that. Okay? For this cause should a man leave father and mother and cleave to his wife.”

“Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives, but from the beginning it was not. So, you know why divorce exists? Because sin exists. That's what happened. God created marriage perfect. He created people perfect. His creation perfect. Sin came in and just perverted it all. Okay. Now, I want you to go back to that that uh that that verse seven there where we're talking about um Deuteronomy 24. Uh think about this question. Remember, they ask, "Why did Moses command us to get divorced?" Go back. Go to Deuteronomy 24.”

“These divorce laws are are set in the context of man divorcing his wife. These divorce laws hypothetically work both directions and that they apply the same for men and women hypothetically. But throughout human history, that is throughout hard-hearted sinful human history, that's almost never happened where women could divorce men. Now, we know that that's that's that's that can happen today, but we're a blip on the radar screen of history. That didn't happen in this time. Really, what's happening here, what God is doing is he's giving these laws to protect women. And don't forget, there's kids involved here, too. This is not just two people. There's kids, okay? As there are today.”

“The reason they wanted to divorce their wives and do what they wanted to do every single day and not take care of and support and love their wives is because their hearts were hard. Because they were children of Satan. They were born serving themselves. They were born spiritually dead. And get it, divorce is born from sin.”

“If you want to understand how sinful you are and how far you've got to go in in sanctification, get married. Your spouse will tell you. That's how it works. They're going to see things in you you can't see, and you'll see things in them. That's a that's it's it's the best gift man God ever gave man to become more like Christ.”

“There is forgiveness. There is repentance. That now there is scars. They're going to stay, but there is repentance. What if that's the case? What if you have been saved and then you've made all these sinful mistakes? Okay, what then? Let's look at 17-20. 1 Corinthians 7:17. Try to stick with me. I'll see if I can if I can explain this correctly. But as God hath distributed to every man, as the Lord hath called everyone. Now that word called is very important. Called is the gospel call. called is when he gives you understanding of scripture and how to order your life.”

“What matters is, okay, are you following God now? Are you willing to walk in his steps now? Are you willing to make him the Lord of your life now? Because he is, are you willing to follow? Okay, verse 20. Now, this is important. Let every man abide in the same calling wherein he was called. Get that. A person who's made all the mistakes in the world. All the sin has has just scarred their lives. He says, "You get content where you're at."”

“Folks, when you get saved, you're a new creation. Old things are passed away. All those old sins. Now, you're going to bear some scars just the way it is. But get it. There's there's room to move forward. I don't know what situation you're in. There's too many situations to talk about when it comes to marriage and divorce. But but listen, I want to leave you with this.”

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