Kinds of Kindness | Repentance For the Rest Of Us | Menlo Church Live Stream

Sep 20, 2026

Devotional

Day 1: Charcoal Fires and Unfinished Conversations

A charcoal fire once witnessed Peter’s denial. Another became the place of his restoration. Jesus intentionally recreated the setting of Peter’s failure not to shame him, but to rewrite his story with grace. The smell of burning coals, the warmth of the flames—Jesus used these to host a conversation that healed rather than condemned. Repentance here wasn’t about punishment but about rebuilding trust through kindness. When we avoid addressing our failures, we miss the fires where Jesus waits to restore us. What if the very things that remind us of our shame could become altars of renewal? [51:41]

“When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, ‘Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?’ He said to him, ‘Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.’ He said to him, ‘Feed my lambs.’” (John 21:15, ESV)

Reflection: What “fire” in your life—a memory, relationship, or habit—have you avoided revisiting out of shame? How might Jesus be inviting you to return to that place with him today?

Day 2: The Clock Between Failure and Honesty

Repentance isn’t a one-time event but a rhythm. The gap between our mistakes and our willingness to address them reveals our trust in God’s character. Peter swam toward Jesus; Adam hid in the trees. Both knew their failure, but their response depended on what they believed awaited them. Every hour we delay honesty compounds shame, but kindness shortens the distance. God’s patience isn’t indifference—it’s purposeful space for our return. [36:04]

“Do you presume on the riches of his kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that God’s kindness is meant to lead you to repentance?” (Romans 2:4, ESV)

Reflection: Where have you been measuring the “gap” in days or years instead of taking the next step? What one conversation or action could you initiate this week to close it?

Day 3: Kindness That Costs Everything

God’s kindness is not a polite smile but a costly intervention. He lit a fire on a beach, cooked breakfast, and asked Peter hard questions—all to rebuild what was broken. This kindness doesn’t ignore sin; it confronts it with a love that paid the ultimate price. Cheap repentance demands nothing. True repentance, shaped by divine kindness, changes everything. [59:27]

“But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8, ESV)

Reflection: When have you mistaken God’s kindness for permission to delay change? How does Jesus’ sacrifice redefine what it means to respond to his grace today?

Day 4: Grace Ahead of You

God’s kindness isn’t just a general warmth—it’s prevenient, arriving before we know we need it. A song, a friend’s words, an unexpected crisis—all can be grace preparing us to turn toward him. Like Peter’s net bursting with fish after a futile night, God often works ahead of our awareness. His kindness isn’t limited to our timing; it’s already active in our waiting. [44:25]

“The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities.” (Psalm 103:8–10, ESV)

Reflection: Where has God’s kindness quietly been at work in your life recently, even before you recognized it? How might this awareness shift your posture toward unresolved struggles?

Day 5: Fear’s Temporary Fire vs. Kindness’ Eternal Flame

Fear forces hiding; kindness invites movement. Adam cowered in Eden’s shadows, but Peter dove into the sea toward Jesus. Both faced consequences, but only kindness led to lasting transformation. Cultural “kindness” avoids discomfort, but God’s kindness walks into the fire to redeem it. His patience isn’t weakness—it’s strength that outlasts every failure. [46:11]

“There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.” (1 John 4:18, ESV)

Reflection: When have you defaulted to fear (of consequences, others’ opinions, or inadequacy) instead of trusting God’s kindness? What step could you take today to move toward his love instead of away from it?

Sermon Summary

Repentance is not just the thing somebody did when faith began. Repentance is the ongoing turning back to God, again and again, as grace exposes the gap between messing up and fessing up. Mature faith does not outgrow repentance. Mature faith grows more aware of sin and more dependent on grace.

Kindness has gotten watered down in the culture until it mostly means, “Don’t be mean.” Paul gives kindness a much bigger job than that. God’s kindness leads people to repentance, which means it does not merely protect people from discomfort. God’s kindness moves toward the hard thing with patience, truth, and a real invitation to change.

Paul begins in Romans 2 by turning judgment back toward the person doing the judging. The person eager to identify somebody else’s problem usually needs to look closer at the same sin running through his or her own life. Sin does not disappear for followers of Jesus, but grace slowly makes its presence easier to see. That awareness should produce compassion, not self-righteousness.

God’s kindness is active right now. God is not waiting at the finish line for lives to get cleaned up. God is like an unhurried friend with his hand on somebody’s back while that person climbs a hill and wonders whether the top is even possible. God’s forbearance and patience are not indifference. God is buying time at his own expense, ultimately through the life of his Son.

Fear can produce temporary compliance, but fear-based religion produces better hiding. Adam hears God in the garden and runs for the trees. Peter hears Jesus from the boat and jumps into the water to get closer. Jesus changes Peter’s expectation of what waits on the other side of failure. Jesus prepares the charcoal fire, breakfast, and then the difficult conversation Peter cannot avoid.

Jesus does not skip the reckoning necessary for reconciliation. Kindness never avoids the hard conversation, but it hosts that conversation without contempt. Jesus asks Peter three times, “Do you love me?” and then entrusts Peter with the care of his sheep. Grace does not make sin cheap, and it does not always make restoration immediate, but it does make a better road possible.

God’s wrath is not the opposite of God’s love. God’s wrath is the settled, active opposition of a good God to everything that destroys what he loves. Christ absorbs that wrath rather than delegating it to judgmental people. The fire is already lit, breakfast is ready, and Jesus is not waiting for anybody to get better at swimming. Jesus is asking whether they are hungry.

Key Takeaways

1. Close the gap between sin and repentance [35:24] Repentance becomes real when honesty stops getting postponed. A hard conversation, a financial confession, or an overdue apology may carry consequences, but delay compounds the damage. The question is not whether somebody else also contributed to the problem, but whether a person is willing to own the part that belongs to him or her. [35:24]
2. God’s kindness is active right now [41:13] God’s kindness is not waiting for a better week, a resolved diagnosis, or a repaired relationship. God meets people in the middle of grief, uncertainty, and failure with patient presence. His patience is not passive tolerance; it is purposeful love making room for repentance. [41:13]
3. Fear produces hiding, kindness produces return [46:11] Fear may force outward compliance for a while, but it cannot remake a heart. Adam hides because he expects exposure without welcome, while Peter runs toward Jesus because he finds mercy waiting on the shore. The expectation of God’s kindness changes the direction a guilty person runs. [46:11]
4. Kindness hosts the hard conversation [51:41] Jesus serves breakfast before he revisits Peter’s denial, but he does not pretend the denial never happened. Reconciliation requires truth, and truth requires a setting where shame is not allowed to become the final word. Christian kindness is neither avoidance nor contempt; it is courageous hospitality. [51:41]
5. God absorbs wrath rather than delegating it [59:27] Self-righteous judgment tries to make other people pay for what feels intolerable. Christ takes the cost of judgment upon himself and offers a satisfaction nobody could earn. A soft heart therefore refuses to become God’s enforcer and instead extends the patience it has received.

## [59:27]

Youtube Chapters

[00:00] - Welcome
[27:59] - Repentance for the Rest of Us
[31:23] - When Kindness Costs Nothing
[34:18] - Performative Gestures and Real Change
[35:24] - Closing the Gap
[38:22] - God’s Kindness Leads to Repentance
[40:51] - God’s Active, Ongoing Kindness
[43:01] - Common Grace and Prevenient Grace
[45:37] - Fear Changes Behavior, Not Hearts
[48:04] - Peter’s Two Charcoal Fires
[51:41] - Hospitality Before the Hard Conversation
[55:37] - God’s Wrath and God’s Love
[61:01] - Find the Gap and Lead with Kindness
[63:17] - Breakfast Is Ready

Bible Study Guide

Bible Reading

Romans 2:4
“Or do you presume on the riches of his kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that God’s kindness is meant to lead you to repentance?” [38:49]

John 21:15–17
“When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, ‘Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?’ He said to him, ‘Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.’ He said to him, ‘Feed my lambs.’” [52:20]

“He said to him a second time, ‘Simon, son of John, do you love me?’ He said to him, ‘Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.’ He said to him, ‘Tend my sheep.’” [52:24]

“He said to him the third time, ‘Simon, son of John, do you love me?’ Peter was grieved because he said to him the third time, ‘Do you love me?’ and he said to him, ‘Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you.’ Jesus said to him, ‘Feed my sheep.’” [52:39]

Genesis 3:8–10
“And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden.” [46:36]

“But the Lord God called to the man and said to him, ‘Where are you?’” [46:57]

“And he said, ‘I heard the sound of you in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked, and I hid myself.’” [46:55]

John 18:15–18, 25–27
“Simon Peter followed Jesus, and so did another disciple. Since that disciple was known to the high priest, he entered with Jesus into the courtyard of the high priest, but Peter stood outside at the door. So the other disciple, who was known to the high priest, went out and spoke to the servant girl who kept watch at the door, and brought Peter in.” [47:55]

“The servant girl at the door said to Peter, ‘You also are not one of this man’s disciples, are you?’ He said, ‘I am not.’” [48:10]

“Now the servants and officers had made a charcoal fire, because it was cold, and they were standing and warming themselves. Peter also was with them, standing and warming himself.” [48:04]

“Now Simon Peter was standing and warming himself. So they said to him, ‘You also are not one of his disciples, are you?’ He denied it and said, ‘I am not.’” [51:05]

“One of the servants of the high priest, a relative of the man whose ear Peter had cut off, asked, ‘Did I not see you in the garden with him?’ Peter again denied it, and at once a rooster crowed.” [51:13]

Observation questions

What three expressions of God’s character does Paul place alongside kindness in Romans 2:4, and what response does he say God’s kindness is meant to produce?
What details connect Peter’s denial in John 18 with Jesus’ restoration of Peter in John 21, especially the charcoal fire and the three questions? [51:05]
How do Adam and Peter respond differently when they know they have failed before God: Adam in the garden and Peter when he recognizes Jesus on the shore? [50:21]
In John 21:15–17, what does Jesus give Peter after each of Peter’s answers, and what does that show about the direction of their conversation? [53:00]

Interpretation questions

Paul warns against presuming on God’s kindness. How can a person mistake God’s patience for permission to keep delaying repentance? [42:09]
Why might Jesus prepare breakfast before addressing Peter’s denial? How does that setting show that kindness can make room for a hard and honest conversation rather than avoid it? [51:41]
Adam hides from God in fear, while Peter moves toward Jesus even though Peter knows a difficult conversation is coming. What does this contrast suggest about how a person’s view of God shapes the way that person responds to guilt? [50:21]
God’s wrath is his settled opposition to what destroys what he loves, and Christ absorbs that wrath rather than handing it to self-righteous people. How should this shape the way Christians address sin in another person’s life? [59:17]

Application questions

Where is there currently a gap between “messing up” and “fessing up” in your life—an apology, confession, financial matter, strained relationship, or pattern you have delayed addressing? What would it look like to take one honest next step this week? [36:27]
Is there a person whose sin, choices, or opinions make you especially quick to judge? What might God be inviting you to examine in your own heart before focusing on that person’s failures? [39:37]
When you fail, do you tend to hide from God, minimize what happened, become defensive, or move toward him in honesty? What helps you remember that Jesus meets repentant people with grace rather than contempt? [01:03:17]
Is there a hard conversation that needs to happen with someone you love? How could you prepare for it with both truth and hospitality—without avoiding the issue, attacking the person, or trying to embarrass them? [52:01]
Think of someone whose behavior you wish would change. What could it look like to lead with patience and kindness while still keeping wise boundaries and speaking truth? [01:01:38]
Where have anger, cynicism, online comments, private group texts, or conversations about someone who is not present tempted you to act as God’s enforcer? What would a softer, more repentant heart look like in that situation? [57:48]

Sermon Clips

36s

#GraceForAll

“When Jesus died on the cross, he died for all of your sin, past, present, future. That's such good news. And the great news of that is that you get to extend it to other people too because that same grace is available to them. Jesus is not standing on the sand waiting for you and me to get better at swimming. He's got breakfast ready, and he's just asking if you're hungry.”

24s

#BeyondFear

“I I think the main reason that God doesn't primarily use fear is fear works until it doesn't work. Fear might get us temporary compliance, but it will never compel us to be the kind of people that God died to turn us into. Fear based religion doesn't produce better people. It produces better hiding.”

45s

#GraceOverWrath

“Now the amazing thing about the good news of Jesus is that God is not asking you and me to deal with this wrath. God didn't delegate his wrath. He absorbed it himself. The kindness in verse four is not some sentimental idea. It's not cheap. It's the most expensive thing that God has ever done by sending his son to live a perfect life in your place and then die in your place. It's the only reason that God's gap of kindness in your and my life still exists today, whether you know him or not. It's the only reason that the timeline is still open and available. You know what historians, church historians call the age we live in? They call it the grace age because there's still time. That's God's kindness.”

39s

#RunTowardGod

“Adam is in the garden and he hears God and he went into the trees to hide. Peter hears Jesus and he goes into the water to get closer to Jesus. It's the exact same situation. Somebody knew that they had done wrong in front of a god who knew that they had blown it, and they're responding in completely opposite ways. And and, really, what decides the direction of what you and I do when we blow it? Because we will blow it. What what decides that is entirely dependent on what we expect to find when we get to God himself. Will we get kindness or will we get fear?”

34s

#KindnessAndTruth

“Now Jesus, in part of his kindness, in soliciting Peter's repentance, is that he leads with hospitality. Now don't miss this. In Jesus' kindness, he doesn't skip a difficult conversation. Kindness never avoids the reckoning that's often necessary for the reconciliation. We have to have the conversation, but we have to have it in a way that feels hosted, that feels kind so that, actually, it can be a psychologically safe place to have the conversation.”

43s

#LoveAndWrath

“You want a god that has wrath, but the kind of wrath that's being described, the kind of wrath that we see described of God, it's not like he's losing his temper. No. No. No. No. Instead, this is the settled active opposition of a good God to everything that destroys what he loves. That's God's wrath. And right now, even as I say that, you're like, yeah. Do kinda want God to be like that. I mean, I want him to do it based on my standards and not his and mine are sort of shaped by twenty first century, ethical constraints. But, like, see the problem? It's not the opposite of God's love. It's actually the manifestation of God's love.”

30s

#PatienceOfGod

“It's not Paul saying that, like, God is just kinda nice and kind to you and me. It's it's God saying that or it's Paul saying that God is being slow with you and me, that he's not in a hurry for you and me to get our lives back together. He's not impatient with us. And that gap of God's patience for you and me is his kindness. It's the time that he is buying for you and me at his own expense.”

33s

#GodLeadsWithKindness

“And the second word that we see that's really important here is this word leads. This is what that does. Leads in the verb format that it was written in the original language is present, active, indicative. It means it's ongoing forever. It means that it's not scheduled, that it's not waiting for you. You can't see it on your calendar. It is everywhere. That God is leading right now with his kindness.”

42s

#KindnessThatTransforms

“Tell me something that I don't wanna hear. I don't hear you as a truth teller no matter how you say it. I hear you as someone that's being unkind to me. And Paul is about to say that God's kindness leads a person to repentance. And if kindness means never making anyone uncomfortable, then that sentence and logic doesn't really work. We have a version of kindness that cannot do what Paul says kindness was designed to do. We have a version of kindness that is about a prohibition when Paul is telling us about a version of kindness that compels you and me to a different kind of life.”

32s

#RestorationAfterFailure

“He lit the same kind of fire that Peter was standing at when he denied him three times. And he did it on purpose. He put breakfast out for him. As a matter of fact, sometimes psychologists will do this now because our trauma gets so rooted into a specific setting or or situation. Like, you think about it for Peter. The rest of his life, every time he was near a fire, he would have remembered denying Jesus. But because of this moment, Jesus gives him a different, more complete picture of what it means to be repentant.”

42s

#LeaveJudgmentToGod

“And I know that it can feel like in a culture and even in Christian culture where we have to, like, pick up this idea of wrath for ourselves, we feel like we're being serious. Like, I'm gonna be the serious one. But here's the thing, you're not the serious one. When we take this from God, we are being less serious. We are trying to make somebody pay for something in our judgment of them that God has already paid for for them. See, we get momentary satisfaction maybe for feeling bigger or more important than them, but they get the cost of our judgment. When Jesus did it, he took the cost of God's judgment, and he handed you and me a kind of satisfaction we could never earn.”

27s

#ChangeWithoutContempt

“And you're like, why did he do that? Because that's what God does with you. Someone whose behavior you would really like to see change maybe. You're not pretending that it's not hurtful. You're not pretending that you have no boundaries. Notice that when you lead with contempt, you are trying to convince them to change. When you lead with judgment, anger, and vitriol, you're trying to do something that you think will work, and God's telling you it doesn't work. It's not even the way he does it.”

33s

#SoftenYourHeart

“Paul asks us to diagnose ourselves as hard and impenitent. The opposite of kindness in Paul's vocabulary is not some wicked moral behavior. It's that you and I have hearts that are impenetrable. And so how does your heart look today? Is it getting softer, or is it getting harder? And not compared to your neighbor, not compared to the people that are gonna vote differently than you, not compared to your in laws, compared to who you were yesterday.”

31s

#WhereAreYouDepositing

“Whether it's the right kind of treasure or the wrong kind of treasure, the picture that we have about storing something up, it's the same word. You can store up treasure or you can store up wrath. Think about it. Everybody is making a deposit. The question is what account are you making that deposit into? Well, his patience holds gaps open. Time is still passing, and that time is either closing the distance or compounding the problem for you.”

35s

#MessToFess

“What is the lag for you between when you mess up and when you fess up? Where you're honest about what happened, recognizing that honesty is going to come with consequences. And, yeah, of course, you probably weren't a 100% responsible for it. We're rarely a 100 responsible for it, but we're almost never 0% responsible for it. The real question that we need to ask ourselves is what closes the gap for us? Because it's kinda different. Right? Each one of us, it might look a little bit different.”

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