The Journey to Total Forgiveness: Healing and Hope

Devotional

Day 1: Forgiveness Is a Command, Not a Suggestion

Forgiveness is not optional for followers of Christ; it is a direct command that brings freedom and healing to both the forgiver and the forgiven. Jesus taught that we are to forgive not just once, but repeatedly—even when it feels impossible or undeserved. This act of forgiveness is not about condoning the wrong or forgetting the pain, but about releasing the bitterness and allowing God to work in our hearts. When we choose to forgive, we reflect the heart of God and open ourselves to His peace and restoration. [29:31]

Matthew 18:21-22 (NIV)
Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.”

Reflection: Is there someone you have been keeping a mental tally against, waiting for them to reach their “limit”? What would it look like to release that count and choose to forgive them today, no matter how many times they have hurt you?

Day 2: Forgiveness Reflects the Heart of Jesus

Jesus modeled ultimate forgiveness on the cross, praying for those who hurt Him even as He suffered. His example shows us that forgiveness is not dependent on the other person’s remorse or repentance, but on our willingness to let go and trust God with the outcome. When we forgive as Jesus did, we are set free from the weight of resentment and become more like Him, filled with compassion and grace. [41:27]

Luke 23:34 (NIV)
Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” And they divided up his clothes by casting lots.

Reflection: Think of a time when you were deeply hurt by someone who never apologized. Can you pray for them today, asking God to bless them and release you from any lingering bitterness?

Day 3: Forgiveness Is for Our Healing

Holding onto unforgiveness can harm us physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Studies show that forgiveness leads to better health, less anxiety, and more peace. When we let go of grudges and choose to forgive, we invite God’s healing into our lives and break the cycle of pain and resentment. Forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves as much as it is a gift to others. [34:32]

Ephesians 4:31-32 (NIV)
Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Reflection: Is there a hurt you’ve been holding onto that is affecting your well-being? What step can you take today to begin letting go and inviting God’s healing into that area?

Day 4: Forgiveness Does Not Mean Condoning or Forgetting

Forgiving someone does not mean approving of their actions, excusing the hurt, or pretending it never happened. True forgiveness acknowledges the pain and the wrong, but chooses not to seek revenge or hold it over the other person. It is about setting healthy boundaries, seeking God’s wisdom, and allowing Him to bring justice and restoration in His way and time. [46:04]

John 8:10-11 (NIV)
Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” “No one, sir,” she said. “Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”

Reflection: Is there a situation where you have confused forgiveness with condoning or forgetting? How can you acknowledge the hurt honestly while still choosing to forgive and move forward?

Day 5: Forgiving Ourselves and Letting Go of Bitterness

Forgiveness must also include ourselves; holding onto guilt or shame keeps us from fully experiencing God’s grace. Sometimes, forgiving ourselves is the hardest step, but it is essential for living in the freedom Christ offers. When we let go of bitterness—toward others, God, or ourselves—we make room for the Holy Spirit to bring peace, joy, and restoration. [01:14:03]

1 John 1:9 (NIV)
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

Reflection: Is there something from your past that you have struggled to forgive yourself for? What would it look like to bring that to God today, receive His forgiveness, and let go of the shame or regret?

Sermon Summary

Forgiveness is one of the most challenging and transformative journeys we can take as followers of Christ. We are called to be a family, a body, each of us playing a unique and vital role. Sometimes, that means being the “big toe”—not always glamorous, but essential for balance and health. Our relationships, both in the church and beyond, are where the rubber meets the road when it comes to living out forgiveness. It’s easy to say we don’t need community, but God designed us to grow together, to support and challenge one another, especially in the hard work of forgiving.

Forgiveness is not just a spiritual act; it’s deeply connected to our physical and emotional well-being. Holding onto bitterness and resentment can literally make us sick, affecting our hearts, our sleep, and our peace. The world often tells us to hold onto our hurts, to set up boundaries that become walls, and to justify our anger. But Jesus shows us a different way. On the cross, He forgave those who hurt Him, even as they mocked and rejected Him. If He can do that, we can trust Him to help us forgive, too.

It’s important to understand what forgiveness is—and what it isn’t. Forgiving doesn’t mean approving, excusing, or forgetting what was done. It doesn’t require reconciliation, nor does it mean denying the pain or pretending it didn’t happen. Forgiveness is a choice to release someone from the debt they owe us, to refuse to let bitterness take root, and to entrust justice to God. Sometimes, the hardest person to forgive is ourselves. Yet, God’s grace is big enough for every wound, every regret, every failure. He calls us to forgive as we have been forgiven, to let go of the past so we can walk in freedom and health.

This journey isn’t easy, and it’s not always quick. Sometimes, forgiveness is a process we revisit again and again. But each time we choose to bless instead of curse, to pray instead of plot revenge, we become more like Jesus. We find that the weight lifts, our hearts heal, and we are able to love more deeply. God is faithful to walk with us, to give us the strength and wisdom we need, and to surround us with people who can pray and encourage us along the way. Let’s be a people marked by radical forgiveness, trusting that God will use even our deepest wounds for His glory and our good.

Key Takeaways

1. Forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling Forgiveness doesn’t always come naturally or feel good at first. It’s a deliberate decision to release someone from the debt they owe us, even when our emotions lag behind. As we choose forgiveness, God works in our hearts, bringing healing and freedom that feelings alone can’t provide. [58:45]
2. Forgiveness is not approval or forgetting To forgive is not to condone, excuse, or minimize the wrong done. It’s not pretending it didn’t hurt or that it never happened. True forgiveness faces the reality of the offense, acknowledges the pain, and still chooses to let go of the right to punish or seek revenge. [46:04]
3. Forgiveness brings freedom and health Unforgiveness is a heavy burden that affects us physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Letting go of bitterness and resentment opens the door to peace, better health, and restored relationships. God designed forgiveness as a path to wholeness, not just for the offender, but for us as well. [34:32]
4. Forgiveness does not always mean reconciliation While reconciliation is beautiful when possible, it requires both parties and is not always safe or wise. Forgiveness can happen in our hearts even if the relationship cannot be restored. Healthy boundaries are sometimes necessary, and God honors our desire to forgive even when reconciliation isn’t possible. [49:01]
5. We must also forgive ourselves God’s forgiveness is complete, but we often struggle to extend that same grace to ourselves. Holding onto self-condemnation keeps us from experiencing the fullness of God’s love and joy. As we forgive ourselves, we step into the freedom Christ purchased for us and become better able to love others. [74:03]

Youtube Chapters

[00:00] - Welcome
[25:08] - Sharing About Our Church Family
[27:01] - God’s Attention to Detail
[29:31] - The Challenge of Forgiveness
[31:39] - Learning About Total Forgiveness
[32:35] - The Cost of Unforgiveness
[34:32] - Health Impacts of Bitterness
[36:24] - The World’s View vs. God’s View
[39:21] - Seeing Others Through Hurt
[41:27] - Jesus’ Example on the Cross
[44:06] - What Forgiveness Is Not
[49:01] - Forgiveness and Reconciliation
[53:12] - Choosing Not to Remember Wrongs
[57:06] - Blessing Those Who Hurt Us
[58:45] - Forgiveness as a Daily Choice
[74:03] - Forgiving Ourselves
[83:18] - Responding to God’s Call to Forgive
[86:42] - Closing Prayer and Blessing
[89:30] - Announcements and Dismissal

Bible Study Guide

Bible Reading

1. Luke 23:34 (NIV) — > Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” And they divided up his clothes by casting lots.

2. Ephesians 4:32 (NIV) — > Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

3. Matthew 18:21-22 (NIV) — > Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”
> Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.”

Observation Questions

In Luke 23:34, what is Jesus doing while He is being hurt and mocked? What does this reveal about His attitude toward those who wronged Him?
According to Ephesians 4:32, what is the standard for how we are to forgive others?
In the sermon, what are some of the physical and emotional effects mentioned that come from holding onto unforgiveness? [[34:32]]
How does the world’s advice about forgiveness differ from what Jesus teaches, as described in the sermon? [[37:12]]

Interpretation Questions

Why do you think Jesus was able to pray for forgiveness for those who were crucifying Him? What does this say about the kind of forgiveness we are called to show? [[41:27]]
The sermon says forgiveness is not the same as approving, excusing, or forgetting what was done. Why is it important to make this distinction? [[46:04]]
The pastor mentioned that forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling. Why might it be hard to make that choice, especially when emotions are still raw? [[58:45]]
What does it mean that forgiveness brings freedom and health, not just for the person who hurt us, but for ourselves? [[34:32]]

Application Questions

Think of a time when you struggled to forgive someone. What was the hardest part for you—making the choice, dealing with your feelings, or something else? How did you handle it? [[58:45]]
The sermon talked about how holding onto bitterness can affect our health. Are there any signs in your own life—physical, emotional, or spiritual—that might be connected to unforgiveness? [[34:32]]
Is there someone in your life right now that you need to forgive, even if reconciliation isn’t possible or safe? What would it look like to release them to God, as the sermon described? [[49:01]]
The pastor shared that sometimes the hardest person to forgive is ourselves. Is there something in your past that you have trouble letting go of? What would it mean to accept God’s forgiveness for yourself? [[01:14:03]]
The world often tells us to set up boundaries that become walls. Are there any boundaries in your life that might actually be keeping you from healing or forgiving? How can you tell the difference between a healthy boundary and a wall? [[37:12]]
The sermon encouraged us to pray for those who have hurt us, even blessing them. Is there someone you could start praying for this week, asking God to bless them and help you let go of bitterness? [[57:06]]
Forgiveness is sometimes a process we revisit again and again. Is there a situation where you thought you had forgiven, but the pain keeps coming back? What step could you take this week to move forward in that process? [[58:45]]

Sermon Clips

I used to think that a lot of times we seem to think that if I'm not forgiving someone, what does that hurt? Who is it bothering, really? Because I'm nice. I can be nice out here. Who is it really bothering if I've got something that just—and here's a little tidbit for me—is I had to go, do I go, mmm, when I hear their name? Do I go, yeah, you know, like with a real bunch of word of caution? I do. Do I do that? It was making me sick and I didn't even know it. [00:33:28] (38 seconds) #HealingThroughForgiveness

Unresolved conflict can go deeper than you realize. It may be affecting your physical health. The good news: studies have found that the act of forgiveness can reap huge rewards for your health—lowering your risk of heart attack, improving cholesterol levels and sleep, and reducing pain, blood pressure, and levels of anxiety, depression, and stress. And research points to the increase in the forgiveness-health connection as you age. Now, as I notice, we all are getting older. Even as we sit here, time's going. We're getting older. So it affects us all. [00:34:32] (41 seconds) #ForgivenessImprovesHealth

We just add them up and then we can look back and go, see, that's why. We do that. Praise God he does not do that to us. Because the minute we say that, we say, I'm sorry, Lord. I'm sorry. Forgive me for that. He does. Immediately. And we can now take the next steps. [00:36:36] (20 seconds) #GraceNotGrudges

Forgiving someone doesn't necessarily mean we want to spend our vacations with them. It doesn't. But it does mean that we release them from the bitterness in our hearts concerning what they have done. And as we saw from that study, when we forgive, it's good for our health and our mental and physical health. God has given us a commission regarding forgiveness in his word. He said, be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other just as Christ forgave you. [00:44:27] (32 seconds) #ReleaseBitterness

Forgiveness is being aware of the offense, yet still forgiving. Total forgiveness—it's achieved only when we acknowledge what was done without denying it, without covering it up, and still refuse to make the other person pay for that crime through us. It kind of hurts, though, to kiss revenge goodbye sometimes, because we really want to get even. We want to feel fair about it. It hurts to think that the person that's getting away with it and nobody else may never find out. [00:56:15] (34 seconds) #ChooseCompassion

One difference between grace and mercy is grace is getting what we don't deserve. That's favor. And he has given that. Mercy is not getting what we do deserve, and that's justice, punishment. So when we show mercy, we are withholding justice from those who have injured us. And that's one aspect of godliness. Gracious—gracious is a word that describes Jesus all the time. [01:05:43] (27 seconds) #LetGoOfBitterness

The absence of bitterness allows the Holy Spirit to be himself in us. Yep, yep. It allows him to be him because he's not fighting for room in our heart, which holds bitterness. This means that we become more like Jesus. When the Spirit is grieved, I am left to myself, and I will struggle with all kinds of emotions and anger and fear, all kinds of stuff. [01:10:24] (25 seconds) #SurrenderAndPray

Sometimes there's a tendency to hold bitterness against God because deep inside we believe that he's the one that allows bad things to happen to us. Since he is powerful and all-knowing, couldn't he have prevented the tragedies and offenses that are happening? We do. We do that. We live in a fallen world, right? And with that, we see consequences played out every day. [01:10:55] (25 seconds)

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