Journey to Faith: Embracing Identity in Christ

 

Summary

In sharing my journey to faith, I reflect on the unexpected and often tumultuous path that led me to Christianity. My conversion was neither a logical decision nor an emotional collapse; it was a gradual unfolding of questions that challenged my secular worldview. These questions were nurtured by an unlikely friendship with a Christian pastor, Ken Smith, who shared the gospel with me in a genuine and compassionate manner. This friendship was not about evangelism but about genuine connection, which allowed me to explore Christianity without feeling like a project.

Raised in a liberal Catholic environment, I initially embraced a secular feminist worldview, which later evolved into a lesbian identity supported by my academic and social circles. My life seemed complete and meaningful, yet the Bible's worldview, which I initially despised, began to intrigue me. Ken's persistent kindness and intellectual engagement led me to read the Bible earnestly, not as a critic but as a seeker of truth. This reading challenged my assumptions and revealed the Bible's supernatural authority, which I could not easily dismiss.

As I delved deeper, I grappled with the Bible's teachings on sin and grace, realizing that my identity and desires were not exempt from its scrutiny. The Bible's portrayal of sin as a universal human condition resonated with me, prompting a profound internal struggle. I questioned my understanding of identity, sin, and God's authority, ultimately leading me to a place of repentance and surrender.

My conversion was not a moment of triumph but a humbling acknowledgment of my pride and the need for God's grace. It was a journey of relinquishing my self-invented identity and embracing a new life in Christ. This transformation was not about changing my sexual orientation but about submitting to God's authority and finding my true identity in Him. Through repentance and faith, I discovered the joy and freedom of living within God's story, continually seeking His will and grace.

Key Takeaways:

- The Power of Genuine Friendship: True friendship, like that with Ken Smith, can open doors to spiritual exploration. It is not about making someone a project but about genuine connection and respect, allowing space for questions and growth. This kind of friendship can be a powerful witness to the love of Christ. [11:47]

- The Bible's Transformative Authority: Engaging with the Bible as a supernatural text challenges our assumptions and reveals its authority over our lives. It invites us to see our identity and desires through God's lens, prompting a journey of repentance and transformation. [13:01]

- Repentance as a Daily Practice: Repentance is not a one-time event but a continual posture of the Christian life. It is the daily acknowledgment of our need for God's grace and the willingness to turn from sin, allowing God to reshape our hearts and minds. [38:16]

- Identity in Christ: Our true identity is found not in our desires or self-invented categories but in Christ. Embracing this identity requires surrendering our pride and submitting to God's authority, trusting that He knows us better than we know ourselves. [33:02]

- The Role of Community in Faith: The support and prayers of a Christian community can be instrumental in one's journey to faith. Being part of a community that lives out the gospel provides encouragement and accountability, helping us grow in our relationship with God. [36:37]

Youtube Chapters:

- [00:00] - Welcome
- [00:21] - Conversion Experience
- [01:29] - Meeting Ken Smith
- [02:19] - Early Life and Education
- [03:17] - Embracing a Lesbian Identity
- [04:45] - Academic and Social Life
- [06:41] - Encountering the Bible
- [07:37] - Ken's Letter
- [09:51] - Friendship with Ken and Floy
- [12:06] - Reading the Bible
- [14:31] - Wrestling with Scripture
- [17:26] - Romans 1 Revelation
- [20:47] - Understanding Sin
- [24:04] - Attending Church
- [28:37] - Obedience and Understanding
- [33:39] - Coming to Jesus
- [36:15] - Repentance and Conversion
- [40:13] - Homosexuality and Sin
- [44:31] - Pride and Identity
- [46:49] - Living in Repentance

Study Guide

Bible Study Discussion Guide

Bible Reading:
1. Romans 1:21-27
2. John 7:17
3. Psalm 66:18

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Observation Questions:

1. How did Ken Smith's approach to friendship differ from the typical evangelism methods Rosaria had encountered before? [11:47]

2. What was Rosaria's initial reaction to reading the Bible, and how did her perspective begin to change over time? [12:35]

3. In what ways did Rosaria's academic background influence her initial understanding of the Bible and Christianity? [05:12]

4. How did Rosaria describe her journey from reading the Bible as a critic to reading it as a seeker of truth? [12:06]

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Interpretation Questions:

1. What does Romans 1:21-27 suggest about the consequences of exchanging the truth of God for a lie, and how did this passage impact Rosaria's understanding of her identity? [17:26]

2. How does John 7:17 challenge the idea that understanding must precede obedience, and how did this realization affect Rosaria's journey to faith? [28:37]

3. In what ways does Psalm 66:18 highlight the importance of not cherishing sin in one's heart, and how did this verse influence Rosaria's repentance process? [41:12]

4. How did Rosaria's understanding of pride as the root of her sin shape her journey towards repentance and transformation? [44:04]

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Application Questions:

1. Reflect on a time when a genuine friendship opened doors for spiritual exploration in your life. How can you cultivate such friendships with others? [11:47]

2. Consider your current approach to reading the Bible. Are you reading it as a critic or as a seeker of truth? What steps can you take to deepen your engagement with Scripture? [12:06]

3. How does your academic or professional background influence your understanding of faith? Are there assumptions you need to challenge or reconsider? [05:12]

4. Romans 1:21-27 speaks about exchanging the truth of God for a lie. Are there areas in your life where you might be doing this? How can you realign your life with God's truth? [17:26]

5. John 7:17 suggests that obedience can lead to understanding. Is there an area in your life where you need to step out in obedience before fully understanding God's will? [28:37]

6. Psalm 66:18 warns against cherishing sin. Is there a sin you are holding onto that is separating you from God? What steps can you take to address this? [41:12]

7. Rosaria identified pride as the root of her sin. Reflect on your own life—what might be the root of your struggles, and how can you begin to address it through repentance and faith? [44:04]

Devotional

Day 1: The Power of Genuine Friendship
Genuine friendship is a powerful tool for spiritual exploration and growth. It is not about converting someone or making them a project, but about forming a true connection based on respect and love. Such friendships create a safe space for questions and doubts, allowing individuals to explore faith without feeling pressured. This kind of relationship can be a profound witness to the love of Christ, as it reflects His unconditional love and acceptance. In a world where relationships can often be transactional, genuine friendship stands out as a beacon of hope and transformation. [11:47]

"Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!" (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, ESV)

Reflection: Think of a friend who may be exploring faith or has questions about spirituality. How can you show them genuine friendship and support this week without any agenda?


Day 2: The Bible's Transformative Authority
The Bible holds a transformative authority that challenges our preconceived notions and invites us to see our lives through God's perspective. Engaging with the Bible as a supernatural text can reveal its power and authority over our lives, prompting us to reevaluate our identity and desires. This process is not always comfortable, as it may confront deeply held beliefs and assumptions. However, it is through this engagement that we can experience true transformation, as the Bible guides us towards repentance and a renewed understanding of our place in God's story. [13:01]

"For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart." (Hebrews 4:12, ESV)

Reflection: What assumptions or beliefs do you hold that might be challenged by the Bible's teachings? How can you approach the Bible with an open heart and mind this week?


Day 3: Repentance as a Daily Practice
Repentance is not a one-time event but a continual practice in the Christian life. It involves a daily acknowledgment of our need for God's grace and a willingness to turn away from sin. This ongoing process allows God to reshape our hearts and minds, aligning us more closely with His will. Repentance is a humbling experience, as it requires us to confront our pride and recognize our dependence on God. By embracing repentance as a daily practice, we open ourselves to the transformative power of God's grace and love. [38:16]

"Repent therefore, and turn back, that your sins may be blotted out, that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord, and that he may send the Christ appointed for you, Jesus." (Acts 3:19-20, ESV)

Reflection: What is one area of your life where you need to practice repentance today? How can you make repentance a regular part of your spiritual routine?


Day 4: Identity in Christ
Our true identity is found not in our desires or self-invented categories but in Christ. Embracing this identity requires surrendering our pride and submitting to God's authority, trusting that He knows us better than we know ourselves. This process involves letting go of self-invented identities and embracing the identity that God has given us. It is a journey of faith and trust, as we learn to see ourselves through God's eyes and live according to His purpose for our lives. By finding our identity in Christ, we experience true freedom and joy. [33:02]

"For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory." (Colossians 3:3-4, ESV)

Reflection: In what ways have you been defining your identity apart from Christ? What steps can you take to embrace your identity in Him more fully?


Day 5: The Role of Community in Faith
The support and prayers of a Christian community can be instrumental in one's journey to faith. Being part of a community that lives out the gospel provides encouragement and accountability, helping individuals grow in their relationship with God. This communal aspect of faith is vital, as it reflects the body of Christ working together to support and uplift one another. In a world that often values individualism, the Christian community offers a countercultural model of interdependence and mutual support. By engaging with a faith community, individuals can experience the love and grace of God in tangible ways. [36:37]

"And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near." (Hebrews 10:24-25, ESV)

Reflection: How can you actively participate in your faith community this week? What role can you play in supporting and encouraging others in their spiritual journey?

Quotes


Had a pastor whose name is Ken Smith not shared the gospel with me for years and years, over and over again, not in some used-car salesman way, but in an organic, and spontaneous and compassionate way. Those questions might still be lodged in the crevices of my mind and I might never yet have met the most unlikely of friends of all, Jesus Christ himself. [00:01:32]

Ken and his wife, Floy, and I became friends. They entered my world. They met my friends. We did book exchanges. We talked openly about sexuality and politics. And they did not act as if such conversations were polluting them. They did not treat me like a blank slate. When we ate together, Ken prayed in a way that I had never heard before. [00:10:33]

I started meeting with Ken and Floy regularly, reading the Bible in earnest with pen in hand and notebook in lap. At the time, I met a man in the church who had also had a long history of sexual sin much like my own, but who had become a follower of this God-man, Jesus. He also encouraged me to dig deeply into the Bible. [00:12:04]

I simply started to read the Bible the way that I was trained to read a book. Examining it's textual authority, authorship, canonicity, internal hermeneutics. I read the way a glutton devours. And slowly and overtime the Bible started to take on a life and a meaning that startled me. Some of my well-worn paradigms no longer stuck. [00:12:20]

I noticed as I read the Bible that its admonitions about sin were often followed by offers of grace. And that struck me as odd. You mean the God of the Bible deals differently with people when people deal differently with Him? And number two, if God is the creator of all things and if the Bible has his seal of truth and power then the Bible has the right to interrogate me in my life, not the other way around. [00:13:31]

The internal mission of the Bible is to transform the nature of humanity. Any heathen knows that, that's why it's so scary. So even non-believers, of course, know that this is a dangerous text. And I was puzzled that the chapel dean seemed to have such little understanding of the book that he had studied longer than I did. [00:15:27]

The Bible makes clear that my future and my calling will always echo an attribute of God, obedience constrains. What is bigger? I wondered. My lesbian identity or God's authority over me? Who is this Jesus? Did I know Him? Did I still lack understanding? Could I trust him? And then one ordinary day I came to Jesus. [00:33:00]

Repentance is bitter sweet business. Repentance is not just a conversion exercise. Repentance is the daily and hourly posture of the Christian. Repentance is our daily fruit, our hourly washing, our minute by minute wake up call, our reminder of God's creation, Jesus’ blood and the Holy Spirit's convention – comfort. [00:38:16]

I drank from the means of grace that God provides: Bible reading, prayer, Psalm singing, fellowship of the saints, and then later church membership and the Lord supper. I took respite in private peace and then Christian community. And eventually God placed me in a covenant family as a wife and a mother, and a teacher and a writer. [00:39:04]

The sinfulness of sin unfolded for me in the authority of the Bible alone. And the growing sweetness of my union with Christ and in the sanctification that this births. At a certain point in my life, I knew that I had to turn the wheel over to God a little like an Alzheimer's patient, who in a flashing moment of mental lucidity signs over his rights to an able-minded caregiver. [00:40:38]

But please, to the Christians who do not struggle with gay or lesbian temptations, please do not add unbearable weight to this burden by thinking that the sin of homosexual practice and identity is somehow bigger or different than all the others or even that its solution is heterosexuality. The solution to all sin is Christ's atoning blood. [00:45:00]

I think about what it means to live within the story of the Bible how repentance is a fruit of my new life in Christ. Paul's question in Romans 6:21 is one I ask myself daily. What fruit did you have then in the things of which you are now ashamed? The layer of my life in Christ always unfolds in this double directional way, praying for sins of the past, repenting for sins of the past that the Lord is bringing to mind, and repenting about sins of today. [00:46:18]

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Transcript
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