Intentional Steps to Build an Awesome Family

Devotional

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"awesome families are playful most people know that the Bible teaches we're supposed to work and the Bible tells us that we're to work hard and the Bible says that if we're lazy we shouldn't even eat work is an important part of your life but most people don't know that the Bible says that play is an important part of your life and play is essential to adults not just to children in fact play is is connected to creativity the more play you have in life the more creative you're going to be if you don't have anything play any fun in your life you're not a very creative person all work no play makes Jack a Dull Boy and so you need to have fun in your life and the Bible talks about this and actually commands it" [00:02:06]

"God generously gives us everything for our what did you realize that everything in the world God created he created for you to enjoy now listen God wants life to be enjoyed not merely endured and a lot of you are simply enduring life God wants you to enjoy life the wisest man whoever lives Solomon says I recommend I commend the enjoyment of life God says everything I created is for enjoyment if you're too busy to enjoy life you're too busy God meant for you to play and to have some fun Ecclesiastes 117 people ought to enjoy every day not just on a weekend not just vacation ought to enjoy every day of their lives no matter how long they live" [00:03:36]

"people don't remember what you say but they will remember how you made them feel that's important advice for a boss for an employer for a husband for a boyfriend for a girlfriend for a parent for a husband or wife people will not remember what you say they will remember how you made them feel my kids don't remember anything of what I said in the early years of their lives but they do remember how daddy made them feel awesome families are playful they Candy Land families they have a lot of fun now Solomon gets very specific about the kind of fun you're supposed to have in a family Ecclesiastes 9:9 he says this enjoy eny life with your wife enjoy life with your wife whom you love" [00:04:39]

"awesome families encourage growth they create an atmosphere of lifelong learning they help each other develop and and one of the things that you do in a in in an awesome family is you would support each other and I'm not just talking about the kids growing up I'm saying that you're always growing your family never stops growing mom never stops growing everybody encourages mom to grow dad never stops growing everybody encourages dad to grow brother sister everybody encourages everybody to keep growing if you're not growing your family is boring you're just stuck in a rut you haven't learned anything new developed any new interest in a long time your family's boring" [00:07:59]

"look at how Jesus grew the Bible tells us in Luke 2:52 this is when Jesus was 12 years old it says Jesus grew in wisdom and stature and in favor with God and favor with men now notice there are four kinds of growth you want to have in your family you grow in wisdom that's intellectual growth mental growth you grow in stature that's physical health you grow in favor with God that's spiritual growth and you grow in favor with man that's social growth most of your problems as an adult comes from the fact that you didn't learn certain things correctly as a child" [00:08:48]

"the first thing we have to learn is what to do with feelings one of the most important skills in life how do I handle my emotions what do I do with them how do I deal with how I feel what do you do with feelings and in a good awesome family you learn how to recognize your feelings how to name your feelings how to own up to your feelings how to identify your feelings how to express your feelings correctly rather than incorrectly how not to stuff them and how to deal with how you feel if you don't learn how to deal with how you feel in your family you go through life an emotional you have to relearn it somewhere else" [00:09:41]

"the reason why so many marriages split up is because they didn't learn in their family how to deal with how you feel correctly and effectively and you need to let people be honest and let kids Express their emotions one of the stupidest things the prer can say is stop crying don't cry don't cry why crying there's nothing wrong with crying tears are a gift from God if you're telling your kids stuff your emotions stuff your emotion stuff your emot they're going to have problem with their emotions the rest of their life there's nothing wrong with crying there's nothing uh to be ashamed of with crying and telling your kids stop crying and saying deny your emotions deny how you feel and you learn the stuff it and that comes out in all kinds of strange relationship patterns later on" [00:10:04]

"you have to learn in family is how to handle loss because you're going to have a lot of losses in life you're going to have big losses you're going to have small losses and you got to teach kids and even parents have to learn how to grieve a loss because nobody wins all the time in fact for a kid to have an unbroken string of wins in early life with no losses is actually detrimental to them you don't want your kid to win all the time because when they got out in the real world and they face the inevitable losses that they're not number one all the time it's devastating if they haven't learned that failure won't kill you failure won't destroy you a loss won't be the end of your life you don't win everything" [00:14:23]

"even if good people fall seven times they'll get back up again I love that verse says even good people fall the word there actually in Hebrew is the word righteous it says though a righteous man falls seven times he rises again even when good people fall you know what even the best people well-intentioned people they stumble they mess up they flub they say the wrong thing they do the wrong thing we all fall we all stumble we all mess up and when we fall that's not the important thing it says good people get back up again even if they fall seven times that's the difference between a success and a failure that verse is talking about what psychologists call resilience" [00:17:39]

"resilience is the most important characteristic for a child if they're going to succeed in life resilience do they have the ability to get back up again they fall off the bike see a lot of kids learn I'm not even going to try cuz I I stumbled once so I give up I went to one practice at at music and I didn't like it so I'm just going to give up I went to one game uh in soccer and I didn't like it all right I messed up I embarrassed myself so I'm going to give up and and so people learn to give up and then they spend the rest of their lives facing challenges and giving up but in teaching a child resilient to keep on getting back up those are the the leaders of the world are people who have the most resilience" [00:18:59]

"we grow through example through example Jesus did this in teaching the disciples John 13 He says since I have washed your feet which was a a model of humility and service it's an act of service since I have washed your feet you ought to wash each other's feet I've given you an example to follow do as I have done to you we learn best by example your kids don't want to hear a sermon they want to see it they want to see it in your life second way we help people grow is through conversations critical conversations if you're not having conversations with your kids about real issues they're not growing we grow through conversations" [00:22:37]

"you must teach God's commandments to your children and talk about them Circle that talk about them that means conversations you're to have conversations with your kids about the Bible talk about them then it gives us four places to do this when you are at home you might Circle these four things when you are at home when you are out for a walk third time is at bedtime and the then number four the first thing in the morning breakfast he's saying these are the teachable moments of your family when you're at home when you're out for a walk in other words you're you're relaxing Recreation time you're fishing you're playing uh when at bedtime and first thing in the morning the four teachable moments" [00:23:06]

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