Intentional Love: Building Godly Relationships Together
Summary
Beloved family of Underwood Baptist, as we gather in this sacred space, I am moved by the Spirit's work among us. Week after week, I witness a hunger for God's presence that fills this sanctuary, and it is a profound honor to shepherd this flock on our collective journey toward a deeper relationship with our Creator. Your commitment to this spiritual family blesses my own life in ways words cannot capture. Now, let us delve into the heart of God's design for relationships, as we continue our series "First Comes Love, Then Comes Marriage."
We've explored the gift of singleness and the qualities to seek in a future spouse—emphasizing character over mere physical attraction. Today, we turn to the Song of Solomon, where we witness the progression from attraction to dating. Solomon's pursuit of his beloved is marked by intentionality and respect, setting the stage for a relationship that honors God.
In the text, Solomon invites his love to meet him, a gesture of pursuit that is both tender and deliberate. This pursuit is not about infatuation or haste; it is a measured step toward a deeper connection. As their relationship unfolds, we see the couple's mutual admiration and the edification they offer each other. They speak of each other with metaphors of beauty and strength, reflecting a love that is both passionate and pure.
Yet, as their affection deepens, they face the challenge of controlling their desires. The couple's restraint is a testament to their commitment to honor God's timing for physical intimacy. They understand that true love is not only about craving but also about choosing to wait until the covenant of marriage.
As we navigate our own relationships, we must ask ourselves whether our partnerships draw us closer to God or away from Him. A relationship that leads us away from spiritual health is not one that honors God. Instead, we should seek companions who will walk with us toward Christ.
Now, let us consider the key takeaways from today's message:
1. The pursuit of a godly relationship must be intentional and respectful, mirroring Solomon's approach to his beloved. Just as he led with clarity and honor, so too should we approach dating with a clear purpose and a heart that seeks to uplift the other. [09:43]
2. Relationships are not merely social constructs but sacred covenants that require mutual edification. As Solomon and his love enhance each other's beauty and worth, we too should seek partnerships that build us up, reflecting God's love and grace. [23:51]
3. Physical desires, while natural and God-given, must be controlled within the context of a committed, covenantal relationship. The couple in Song of Solomon exemplifies the discipline to wait for the proper time, teaching us the value of patience and honor. [39:45]
4. Public acknowledgment of a relationship is a sign of genuine commitment. Just as Solomon and his love were open about their love, we too should be willing to express our dedication to our partners, ensuring that our intentions are clear and our affections are known. [31:39]
5. The ultimate test of a relationship's health is its ability to draw us closer to God. If a partnership detracts from our spiritual growth, it is worth reevaluating. Seek a relationship that not only brings joy but also deepens your faith and commitment to Christ. [26:51]
In closing, let us remember that the journey of love is one that should be walked with wisdom, patience, and a steadfast focus on God's will for our lives. May our relationships be a reflection of His perfect love. Amen.
Study Guide
### Bible Study Discussion Guide
#### Bible Reading
- Song of Solomon 1:8-11: "If you do not know, O most beautiful among women, follow in the tracks of the flock, and pasture your young goats beside the shepherds' tents. I compare you, my love, to a mare among Pharaoh's chariots. Your cheeks are lovely with ornaments, your neck with strings of jewels. We will make for you ornaments of gold, studded with silver."
#### Observation Questions
1. What qualities does Solomon highlight in his beloved in Song of Solomon 1:8-11?
2. How does Solomon's pursuit of his beloved reflect intentionality and respect? [09:43]
3. What role do Solomon's friends play in the progression of his relationship? [15:45]
4. How does the couple in Song of Solomon demonstrate restraint in their physical desires? [39:45]
#### Interpretation Questions
1. What does Solomon's comparison of his beloved to a mare among Pharaoh's chariots signify about his view of her? [11:12]
2. How does the mutual edification between Solomon and his beloved reflect God's design for relationships? [20:52]
3. Why is it important for a relationship to be public and acknowledged, according to the sermon? [31:39]
4. How does the couple's decision to wait for physical intimacy until marriage demonstrate their commitment to God's timing? [39:45]
#### Application Questions
1. Reflect on your current or past relationships. How have you demonstrated intentionality and respect in your pursuit of a partner? [09:43]
2. In what ways can you ensure that your relationship builds up and edifies both you and your partner, reflecting God's love and grace? [20:52]
3. How do you handle physical desires in your relationship? What steps can you take to ensure these desires are controlled within the context of a committed, covenantal relationship? [39:45]
4. Think about your current relationship status. Is it drawing you closer to God or pulling you away from Him? What changes might you need to make to align your relationship with God's will? [26:51]
5. How can you make your commitment to your partner more public and clear, ensuring that your intentions are known and your affections are expressed? [31:39]
6. What practical steps can you take to pursue a relationship with a clear purpose, mirroring Solomon's approach to his beloved? [09:43]
7. How can you support your partner in their spiritual growth, ensuring that your relationship enhances both of your walks with Christ? [26:03]
May this guide help you delve deeper into understanding and applying God's design for relationships in your life. Amen.
Devotional
Day 1: Intentionality in Pursuit
Intentionality is the cornerstone of a godly relationship. Just as Solomon's approach to his beloved was marked by a deliberate and respectful pursuit, individuals are encouraged to enter relationships with a clear purpose and a heart that seeks to uplift the other. This means moving beyond superficial attractions and focusing on the character and spiritual compatibility of a potential partner. It involves prayerful consideration and seeking God's guidance in each step, ensuring that the relationship aligns with His will and design for love and companionship.
In the Song of Solomon, the pursuit is not characterized by impulsive actions but by thoughtful gestures that honor both individuals and God. This biblical example serves as a model for how to approach dating and relationships in a way that is both meaningful and reverent, setting a foundation for a relationship that can grow in depth and commitment.
[09:43]
Reflection: How can you be more intentional in your approach to relationships, ensuring they align with God's purpose for your life?
Day 2: Mutual Edification in Partnership
Relationships are designed to be a source of mutual support and growth. The sacred covenant of a godly partnership calls for both individuals to contribute to each other's spiritual and personal development. Like Solomon and his beloved, who used metaphors of beauty and strength to express their admiration, partners should seek to enhance each other's worth and reflect God's love and grace. This involves encouraging one another in faith, celebrating each other's strengths, and helping to bear burdens during times of weakness.
The goal is to build a relationship that not only brings joy but also serves as a testament to the transformative power of God's love. By focusing on edification, partners can create a bond that is resilient and capable of withstanding the challenges that life may bring.
[23:51]
Reflection: In what ways can you actively contribute to the spiritual and personal growth of your partner or future partner?
Day 3: Discipline in Physical Desires
Physical desires are natural and God-given, yet they must be managed with discipline and respect for the sanctity of marriage. The Song of Solomon illustrates a couple who, despite their deep affection, choose to exercise restraint and honor God's timing for physical intimacy. This teaches the value of patience and the importance of waiting for the commitment of marriage before engaging in sexual relations.
By controlling physical desires, individuals demonstrate a commitment to God's design for relationships and show respect for themselves and their partners. This discipline is a crucial aspect of building a strong and lasting covenantal relationship that honors God and each other.
[39:45]
Reflection: What steps can you take to practice discipline in managing your physical desires in a way that honors God and respects the sanctity of marriage?
Day 4: Public Commitment in Relationships
A genuine commitment in a relationship is often marked by a willingness to publicly acknowledge and express dedication to one's partner. Just as Solomon and his love did not hide their affection, individuals in a godly relationship should be transparent about their intentions and openly share their commitment with others. This public declaration not only solidifies the relationship but also holds partners accountable to their promises and to the community that supports them.
Being open about one's relationship is a sign of maturity and readiness to fully embrace the responsibilities that come with a committed partnership. It is a step that signifies a serious and genuine bond, one that is prepared to face the world together.
[31:39]
Reflection: Are you prepared to make a public declaration of your commitment to your partner, and if not, what might be holding you back?
Day 5: Spiritual Growth as a Relationship's Test
The health of a relationship can be measured by its ability to draw the individuals closer to God. A partnership that detracts from one's spiritual growth does not honor the divine purpose of relationships. Instead, one should seek a relationship that not only brings happiness but also deepens faith and commitment to Christ. This involves choosing a partner who shares a similar desire for spiritual development and who is willing to walk the path of faith together.
When both partners prioritize their relationship with God, they create a strong foundation that can weather any storm. This shared spiritual journey is the ultimate test of a relationship's health and its capacity to reflect God's perfect love.
[26:51]
Reflection: Does your current or desired relationship enhance your spiritual growth, and how can you ensure that it continues to draw you closer to God?
Quotes
"We can't treat dating leisurely; it must be treated intentionally, because there is a purpose to this process." [06:23] ( | | )
"Good relationships... see this couple edifying each other; they are building each other up... enhancing each other's beauty and worth." [20:52] ( | | )
"Love is a very powerful emotion... we seek and strive to find companionship... we can get excited and move a little too quickly." [17:51] ( | | )
"Is this relationship pushing me toward God or away from God?... You need to be evaluating your relationship with such scrutiny." [26:51] ( | | )
"Underneath him... I feel completely safe with him... he nourishes me... he makes you feel protected, he makes you feel nourished." [32:13] ( | | )
"His Banner Over Me was love... he's made it known to everybody that I'm his... I'm not unsure of his commitment." [33:22] ( | | )
"Guys, you need to be over the woman that you found to give your love to... if he's in love with you, you can expect all these things to be evident." [35:14] ( | | )
"They begin to Crave one another but in their craving, they're controlling... they're not being intimate yet." [35:55] ( | | )
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