Intentional Friendships: Building God-Centered Connections

 

Summary

In today's message, we explored the profound importance of friendships, particularly those that are centered around God. We began with a touching story about a friend who consistently reached out to another in grief, illustrating the power of intentionality and presence in friendships. This story set the stage for a deeper exploration of our innate desire for acceptance and love, and how true friendships fulfill this need. We are reminded that friendships are not just about the number of people we know but about the depth of connection and the ability to be our true selves with others.

The sermon highlighted the detrimental effects of isolation, as evidenced by the rise in mental health issues during the COVID-19 pandemic. It emphasized that we are designed for community, as modeled by God Himself, who exists in a communal relationship as Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Jesus, too, exemplified the need for community, even in His darkest moments.

We delved into the characteristics of "God First" friendships, drawing from Ecclesiastes 4, which speaks to the strength and support found in companionship. A God First friend provides help, care, and strength, offering accountability and encouragement. Such friendships are marked by selflessness, accountability, and a shared pursuit of righteousness.

The message also challenged us to evaluate our friendships and our role as friends. Are we surrounded by God First friends, and are we being that kind of friend to others? The story of David and Nathan illustrated the necessity of accountability, while the example of Onesiphorus showed the power of presence and consistency in friendship.

Ultimately, the message called us to be intentional in our friendships, to be present, selfless, and consistent, modeling our relationships after Jesus, who is the ultimate friend of sinners. It concluded with an invitation to accept Jesus as a friend and Savior, emphasizing that His love is unconditional and available to all.

Key Takeaways:

1. Intentional Presence in Friendship: True friendship requires intentionality and presence. Just as the friend in the story called every day, we must be consistent and available for those we care about, providing a safe space for them to be themselves and to heal. [00:45]

2. The Necessity of Community: Isolation is detrimental to our well-being, as seen during the pandemic. We are designed for community, and God models this through His triune nature. Jesus also demonstrated the importance of community, even in His darkest moments. [05:30]

3. Characteristics of God First Friendships: A God First friend provides help, care, and strength. These friendships are marked by selflessness, accountability, and a shared pursuit of righteousness, helping each other succeed in life's most important areas. [15:55]

4. Accountability and Growth: True friends hold each other accountable, not to call out but to call up. The story of David and Nathan illustrates the importance of having friends who love God more than they love us, providing correction and encouragement. [22:11]

5. Modeling Jesus in Our Friendships: Jesus is the ultimate friend of sinners, offering unconditional love and presence. We are called to model our friendships after Him, being present, selfless, and consistent, and inviting others into a relationship with Him. [39:34]

Youtube Chapters:

- [00:00] - Welcome
- [00:45] - Story of Intentional Friendship
- [02:30] - The Desire for Acceptance
- [05:30] - The Impact of Isolation
- [07:45] - God's Design for Community
- [10:00] - Jesus' Model of Friendship
- [12:04] - The Right Kind of Friends
- [15:55] - Ecclesiastes on Friendship
- [18:30] - Providing Help and Accountability
- [22:11] - The Story of David and Nathan
- [25:00] - Providing Care and Comfort
- [27:42] - Personal Story of Comfort
- [30:00] - Providing Strength and Support
- [32:39] - Evaluating Our Friendships
- [36:18] - The Example of Onesiphorus
- [39:34] - Invitation to Accept Jesus

Study Guide

Bible Study Discussion Guide

Bible Reading:
- Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
- Proverbs 27:17
- 2 Timothy 1:16-18

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Observation Questions:

1. In Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, what are the benefits of having a companion according to the passage? How does this relate to the concept of "God First" friendships discussed in the sermon? [15:55]

2. How does the story of David and Nathan illustrate the importance of accountability in friendships? What role did Nathan play in David's life? [22:11]

3. According to the sermon, what are some characteristics of a "God First" friend as demonstrated by Onesiphorus in 2 Timothy 1:16-18? [36:18]

4. What does Proverbs 27:17 mean when it says, "As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend"? How was this concept explained in the sermon? [22:11]

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Interpretation Questions:

1. How does the sermon suggest that isolation can impact mental health, and what biblical evidence supports the need for community? [12:04]

2. In what ways did Jesus model the importance of community and friendship during His time on earth, as mentioned in the sermon? [12:04]

3. How does the sermon describe the role of accountability in friendships, and why is it important for spiritual growth? [22:11]

4. What does it mean to have a "God First" friendship, and how can such friendships influence one's spiritual journey? [15:55]

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Application Questions:

1. Reflect on your current friendships. Are there any that you would consider "God First" friendships? What steps can you take to cultivate such relationships? [32:39]

2. Think about a time when you were isolated or felt alone. How did that experience affect you, and what could have been different if you had a supportive community around you? [12:04]

3. How can you be more intentional in being present and consistent in your friendships, as Onesiphorus was with Paul? What practical steps can you take this week? [36:18]

4. Consider the role of accountability in your friendships. How can you create an environment where friends feel comfortable holding each other accountable in love? [22:11]

5. Jesus is described as the ultimate friend of sinners. How can you model your friendships after Jesus, offering unconditional love and presence to those around you? [39:34]

6. Evaluate the influence of your current circle of friends. Do they encourage you to grow spiritually and pursue righteousness? If not, what changes might you need to make? [12:04]

7. Identify one friend who might be going through a difficult time. How can you offer them help, care, and strength this week, reflecting the characteristics of a "God First" friend? [15:55]

Devotional

Day 1: Intentional Presence in Friendship
True friendship requires intentionality and presence. It is not enough to simply know someone; true friendship involves being consistently available and creating a safe space for others to be themselves and heal. The story of a friend who reached out daily to another in grief exemplifies this kind of intentional presence. In a world where busyness often takes precedence, being intentional in our friendships means prioritizing time and effort to be there for those we care about. This intentionality reflects the love and commitment that God shows us, and it is a powerful way to demonstrate His love to others. [00:45]

"Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!" (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, ESV)

Reflection: Who in your life needs your intentional presence today? How can you reach out to them in a meaningful way?


Day 2: The Necessity of Community
Isolation can have detrimental effects on our well-being, as seen during the COVID-19 pandemic. Humans are designed for community, and this is modeled by God Himself, who exists in a communal relationship as Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Jesus also demonstrated the importance of community, even in His darkest moments. Being part of a community provides support, encouragement, and accountability, which are essential for spiritual and emotional health. Embracing community means opening ourselves up to others and allowing them to be part of our journey. [05:30]

"And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near." (Hebrews 10:24-25, ESV)

Reflection: What steps can you take to become more involved in your community or church? How can you contribute to the well-being of others in your community?


Day 3: Characteristics of God First Friendships
A God First friend provides help, care, and strength, marked by selflessness, accountability, and a shared pursuit of righteousness. These friendships are not just about companionship but about helping each other succeed in life's most important areas. A God First friend encourages spiritual growth and holds you accountable to your values and beliefs. Such friendships are a reflection of God's love and are essential for a fulfilling and purposeful life. [15:55]

"Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing." (1 Thessalonians 5:11, ESV)

Reflection: Do you have God First friends in your life? How can you cultivate these types of friendships, and what changes can you make to be a God First friend to others?


Day 4: Accountability and Growth
True friends hold each other accountable, not to call out but to call up. The story of David and Nathan illustrates the importance of having friends who love God more than they love us, providing correction and encouragement. Accountability in friendships is about helping each other grow and become the best versions of ourselves. It requires honesty, vulnerability, and a commitment to each other's spiritual and personal growth. [22:11]

"Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy." (Proverbs 27:6, ESV)

Reflection: Who in your life holds you accountable in your spiritual journey? How can you invite more accountability into your relationships?


Day 5: Modeling Jesus in Our Friendships
Jesus is the ultimate friend of sinners, offering unconditional love and presence. We are called to model our friendships after Him, being present, selfless, and consistent, and inviting others into a relationship with Him. This means loving others as Jesus loves us, with grace, patience, and forgiveness. By modeling Jesus in our friendships, we become a reflection of His love and a testament to His transformative power in our lives. [39:34]

"By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another." (John 13:35, ESV)

Reflection: How can you model Jesus in your friendships today? What specific actions can you take to demonstrate His love and presence to those around you?

Quotes

I heard him share a story of a guy named Will and Will's friend's dad had just passed away and Will texted his friend saying, I know what you're going through. I lost my mom at an early age and I'm sure you're getting bombarded with texts and with phone calls. So I'm not going to call you today. But what I will do is call you every single morning at 945 AM from here on out. Don't feel obligated to pick up the phone until you're ready. I'm not expecting you to, but just know that I'm going to call you every day and when you're ready, we can talk. And the first week went by and he called him every day and his friend never picked up the phone. But after that first week, he picked up and they would speak about the process that he was going through with his grief. [00:07:44] (48 seconds)


And by friends, I don't just mean people that you know, the amount of people that you know, or the number of people that you're connected with on social media. By friends, I mean the amount of people who truly know you, who you can be yourself around, and they love you anyway. You know the self I'm talking about, right? That weird self. Because let's be honest, we're all a bunch weirdos when we're like all alone and comfortable. That version of you, that's what we really want. We want to just be that, and people accept us and love us. People that you can be honest with. Those who push you to grow into a better person. [00:08:58] (41 seconds)


And the World Health Organization put out a report that said in the first year of the COVID -19 pandemic, anxiety and depression increased by 25%. 25%. Now this is in during a time when anxiety and depression was already on a slow and steady rise. And unfortunately most fight those battles in isolation, which only makes them then more difficult. Because isolation for anyone isn't healthy. Now dependent on if you're more introverted or extroverted or am -diverted somewhere in between, we all need different levels of community, but we all need others. [00:09:57] (42 seconds)


In the Old Testament book of Ecclesiastes, it's just one place in Scripture that dives into what a God First friend is. There's a ton through the Scripture, but this is one of them. In this book, it was written by Solomon. Solomon also wrote the book of Proverbs, which is just nothing but wisdom. It is all these wisdom sayings that Solomon wrote. Well, in his life, he decides to pursue all of these different things. Like, I'm going to try to find satisfaction in everything you could possibly find in life. And then he writes the book of Ecclesiastes, which is kind of what happened after that. [00:14:18] (33 seconds)


If one person falls, the other can reach out and help, but someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm, but how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back to back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple -braided cord is not easily broken. Two are better than one. He says, if a person falls alone, they are in trouble. Have you ever fallen alone in your life where it's just you've been through something, and the isolation we talked about at the beginning of this has just crept that your companion is your isolation. [00:15:12] (39 seconds)


Accountability is when you are told what you need to hear not always what you want to hear because you know those are two different things I'll give you an example a hypothetical one I promise this has never happened in my life maybe it's happened in yours so a friend stabbed me in the back once hypothetically and I got upset about it and so I went to another friend and did nothing but can you believe what this person did this is what they did to me this is how they treated me these are the things they said and here's why I I'm a better person than them and what I wanted my friend to do in that moment was be like yeah you're right they are a terrible person this is what they did to me here are the other things they did let's just keep talking about how bad this person is the last thing I wanted was my friend to go hey um you do see your side in this too right you do know that okay vent it out now but you're gonna need to forgive this person that's not what I want to hear in that moment but that's what I need to hear because the alternative is that we both just spiral into bitterness and nothing good comes from that only death in Proverbs 27 maybe you've heard this before it says as iron sharpens iron so a friend sharpens a friend it's a famous proverb it's a famous quote even if you don't know scripture you've probably heard that iron sharpens iron right it sounds beautiful put that thing on a t -shirt put it on a coffee mug iron sharpens our baby let's go but do you know how iron sharpens iron it's from resistance which means there's opposition which means there is friction that's how iron gets sharp that's how a friend sharpens a friend through resistance yes it is important to have friends but are your friends making you better are they calling you up are they are they resisting you when you're doing something that is not smart or not wise are you that kind of friend for others it takes trust it takes time it takes vulnerability to build this [00:17:16] (125 seconds)


Well, after this happens, God sends a prophet named Nathan to David to hold him accountable for what he did. And he doesn't, Nathan doesn't just do this to point a finger and call him out. He does this in order to call him up to who he is supposed to be, the king of God's people, because correction in a healthy way is needed in our life. That is accountability. God -first friends bring accountability, not in order to call you out, but to call you up. Nathan was not there to just pronounce judgment on David. He was there to call him up. He brought accountability. The Holy Spirit brought conviction. And David found himself in a place of confession so that he could be restored by God. [00:21:03] (44 seconds)


And for me, as a person who loves coffee, a person who loves breakfast, that was amazing, because that was our coffee and breakfast the next day. Like, they were able to supply that for us, and it may not seem like much, but it was huge for us. God is the source of all comfort. He comforts us so that we can comfort others. They lived this out. They comforted us. They modeled practically what that looks like. And now we have the model for how we can practically do that for others, too. That is what a God -first friend does. They take the same comfort, the same care God has given them, and they give it to others. [00:28:12] (40 seconds)


And then he ends that part by saying, and you know, Timothy very well, how helpful he was when we were in Ephesus, which means that's all the stuff that he just listed about this guy are the patterns of his life. Everywhere he goes, these are the things that follow him. It was his patterns. These were the tracks his life left behind. These were the fruits his life of discipleship left. Theori of the the And if we wanna be a God -first friend, these are the same choices that we can be intentional with, that we can be physically present with our friends, selfless, encouraging, loving, accepting, and consistent. [00:38:14] (40 seconds)


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Transcript
What was the most surprising thing in this sermon?
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