Intentional Connections: Building Lasting Relationships Together

In the busyness of life, especially in seasons filled with young children, work, and endless obligations, it’s easy to let meaningful connection slip away. Yet, true unity—whether in marriage, family, friendships, or church—does not happen by accident. It requires intentionality, effort, and a commitment to prioritize quality time together. The call from Ephesians 4 is not just to get along, but to “make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.” This unity is built on the foundation of real, consistent connection, not just coexisting or sharing space.

Intentionality is the first key. Relationships thrive when we plan time together, not just hope it happens. In our family, this meant getting the kids to bed early so we could have “couch time” and scheduling regular date nights, even when it was inconvenient. If we don’t make space for connection, busyness will always crowd it out. Healthy relationships are not built on grand gestures, but on small, repeated moments of intentional connection that become habits over time.

Being fully present is the next principle. Presence communicates value—putting away distractions, understanding each other’s needs, and making space for real conversation. This sometimes means decluttering our lives and our minds so we can truly be with one another. It’s not just about being in the same room, but about being attentive and engaged, recognizing that each person’s needs for connection may look different.

Shared activities, both lighthearted and deep, are essential. Some of the best conversations and connections happen in the unplanned moments—on long car rides, during drawn-out family dinners, or in the in-between spaces of life. These shared experiences, done consistently, build a foundation of trust and closeness that outlasts fleeting pleasures or material experiences.

Finally, a spiritual focus is what makes relationships unshakable. When we share our spiritual lives—praying together, having spiritual conversations, and inviting God into our relationships—we tap into a power greater than ourselves. This spiritual unity sustains us when feelings fade or challenges arise. For followers of Jesus, quality time is not just a good idea; it’s an act of obedience, a reflection of Christ’s own example of leaving heaven to be fully present with us. We are called to prioritize connection, be present, share life, and keep a spiritual focus, trusting that the Holy Spirit empowers us to live out this calling.

Key Takeaways

• 1. Intentionality is the foundation of lasting relationships. Healthy connections don’t happen by accident; they require planning and prioritizing time together, even when life is busy or inconvenient. The “someday” mentality erodes relationships—small, repeated choices to connect are what build enduring bonds. [11:31]
• 2. Presence communicates value. Being fully present means more than just physical proximity; it’s about giving undivided attention, putting away distractions, and understanding each other’s unique needs for connection. This often requires decluttering our schedules and minds so we can truly engage with those we love. [19:13]
• 3. Shared activities create space for both fun and depth. The richest connections often emerge in the unplanned, in-between moments—on road trips, during family meals, or through simple routines. Consistent shared experiences, rather than rare grand gestures, are what foster closeness and trust over time. [23:40]
• 4. Spiritual focus transforms relationships from strong to unshakable. Inviting God into our relationships—through prayer, spiritual conversations, and shared faith—provides a source of strength and unity that goes beyond human effort. When the inevitable challenges come, it is the Holy Spirit who empowers us to forgive, persevere, and love beyond our own capacity. [33:50]
• 5. Quality time is not a luxury, but a calling. For followers of Jesus, prioritizing connection is an act of obedience, not just a personal preference. We are designed for community, and will one day give account for how we loved and connected with others—not just in grand gestures, but in the daily, intentional choices to be present and engaged. [37:39]

Youtube Chapters

• [00:00] - Welcome
• [01:10] - The Challenge of Connection in Busy Seasons
• [03:30] - Ephesians 4: The Call to Unity
• [05:15] - The Difference Between Attending and Belonging
• [07:00] - The Power of Intentionality in Relationships
• [10:45] - The Danger of “Someday” Thinking
• [12:27] - Building Healthy Habits Through Small Choices
• [13:30] - Being Fully Present: What It Really Means
• [16:35] - Navigating Differences in Connection Needs
• [19:13] - Decluttering Life for Deeper Presence
• [21:00] - The Value of Shared Activities
• [23:40] - Family Dinners and Unplanned Moments
• [27:00] - Including a Spiritual Focus
• [29:27] - The Power of Shared Spiritual Life
• [33:50] - What Makes Relationships Unshakable
• [35:00] - The World’s View vs. Christ’s Call
• [37:39] - Quality Time as Obedience
• [40:16] - Christ’s Example: God With Us
• [41:00] - Closing Prayer

Bible Reading

Ephesians 4:1-3 (ESV) — > I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

Observation Questions

1. According to Ephesians 4:3, what does Paul urge believers to do regarding unity? What kind of effort does he say is required?
2. In the sermon, what were some practical examples given for being intentional about spending time together? ([04:09])
3. What is the difference between simply attending a church and truly belonging to a church family, as described in the sermon? ([05:15])
4. How did the speaker describe the impact of “someday” thinking on relationships? ([11:31])

Interpretation Questions

1. Why do you think Paul emphasizes making “every effort” to keep unity, rather than just encouraging believers to get along? What does this suggest about the nature of unity in relationships? (Ephesians 4:3)
2. The sermon mentions that healthy relationships are built on small, repeated moments of intentional connection. Why might these small moments be more important than occasional grand gestures? ([12:27])
3. The speaker talks about being “fully present” and how presence communicates value. What are some reasons it can be difficult to be fully present with others, even when we are physically together? ([19:13])
4. The sermon says that a spiritual focus makes relationships “unshakable.” What does it mean to invite God into our relationships, and why is this so important? ([33:50])

Application Questions

1. Think about your closest relationships (family, friends, church). Are there any where you have been relying on “someday” to make time for connection? What is one small, intentional step you could take this week to prioritize time together? ([11:31])
2. When you spend time with others, what are the biggest distractions that keep you from being fully present? Is there a specific distraction (like your phone, work, or stress) you need to set aside to show someone they matter? ([19:13])
3. The sermon described how shared activities—like family dinners or road trips—create space for deeper connection. What is one shared activity you could plan or reintroduce in your family or friendships to foster more meaningful connection? ([23:40])
4. Are there routines or habits in your life that unintentionally crowd out time for relationships? What could you “declutter” from your schedule or mind to make more space for people? ([19:13])
5. The speaker shared about including a spiritual focus in relationships, such as praying together or having spiritual conversations. Is there a relationship in your life where you could take a step toward sharing your spiritual life more openly? What might that look like? ([29:27])
6. For those who are married or have children, what is one way you could intentionally create “couch time” or a regular date night, even if it feels inconvenient? ([04:09])
7. The sermon says that prioritizing quality time is not just a good idea, but an act of obedience to Christ. How does this perspective challenge or encourage you in the way you approach your relationships? ([37:39])