Intentional Choices: Building Stronger Marriages Through Faith
Summary
In today's gathering, we explored the profound truths about relationships, marriage, and the power of choice in our walk with God. We delved into the reality that our daily decisions, especially in our marriages, must be intentional and not led by fleeting emotions. Feelings can deceive, but when we choose to be for our spouse, to honor and respect them as God's children, our emotions align with our choices, leading to a harmonious union.
We reflected on the journey of imperfection that marriage often is, acknowledging that divorce is not an option for us, except in cases of harm or danger. Our marriage, though once on the brink of collapse, stands as a testament to the power of choice, commitment, and God's restorative grace. We learned that spiritual family is crucial, as it provides support, accountability, and a community that believes in us, even when we struggle to believe in ourselves.
We discussed the importance of forgiveness, sharing a personal anecdote of how choosing to forgive without holding past mistakes against each other is a strength that comes from God. This act of forgiveness is not a sign of weakness but a powerful step towards healing and restoration.
Prayer was highlighted as a cornerstone of a strong marriage. Praying together brings a fullness of oneness that cannot be achieved alone. It's a practice that not only strengthens the marital bond but also invites God's wisdom and guidance into the relationship.
Lastly, we emphasized the significance of legacy. The choices we make today determine the legacy we leave behind. By keeping our hearts soft towards God and each other, we can transform a legacy of pain into one that honors God.
Key Takeaways:
1. Marriage is a daily choice, not a feeling. When we choose to be 100% for our spouse, our feelings will eventually align with our decisions. This choice leads to a strong, God-centered marriage that can withstand the trials of life. [16:11]
2. Forgiveness is a divine strength, not a weakness. When we forgive our spouse and release them from past mistakes, we mirror God's forgiveness towards us. This act of grace paves the way for healing and a renewed relationship. [18:02]
3. Prayer is the lifeline of a marriage. Praying together as a couple unleashes the fullness of oneness and invites God's presence into the relationship. It is a sacred practice that fortifies the bond between husband and wife. [26:39]
4. Honoring our spouse is a command from God. When we view our spouse through the lens of God's love, we treat them with the honor they deserve as a fellow heir of grace. This perspective prevents our prayers from being hindered and fosters mutual respect. [32:06]
5. Community is essential for a healthy marriage. Surrounding ourselves with a spiritual family provides support, encouragement, and accountability. It allows us to be vulnerable and receive the help we need to strengthen our marriage. [33:52]
Study Guide
### Bible Study Discussion Guide
#### Bible Reading
1. 1 Peter 3:7 (ESV): "Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered."
2. Ephesians 4:32 (ESV): "Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you."
3. James 5:16 (ESV): "Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working."
#### Observation Questions
1. According to 1 Peter 3:7, what are husbands instructed to do, and what is the consequence if they fail to do so?
2. In Ephesians 4:32, what are the three actions believers are encouraged to take towards one another?
3. How does James 5:16 describe the power of prayer, and what are believers encouraged to do for one another?
#### Interpretation Questions
1. How does the concept of honoring one's spouse as described in 1 Peter 3:7 relate to the idea of mutual respect in marriage discussed in the sermon? [32:06]
2. What does it mean to forgive someone "as God in Christ forgave you" according to Ephesians 4:32, and how does this align with the sermon’s emphasis on forgiveness? [18:02]
3. How can the practice of praying together as a couple, as mentioned in James 5:16, enhance the unity and strength of a marriage? [26:39]
#### Application Questions
1. Reflect on a recent decision you made in your marriage. Was it driven by feelings or by a conscious choice to honor your spouse? How can you ensure your future decisions are more intentional? [16:11]
2. Think of a time when you struggled to forgive your spouse or someone close to you. How did holding onto that hurt affect your relationship? What steps can you take to practice forgiveness more readily? [18:02]
3. Have you and your spouse ever prayed together regularly? If not, what barriers have prevented you from doing so? How can you start incorporating joint prayer into your daily routine? [26:39]
4. In what ways can you honor your spouse more effectively, viewing them as a fellow heir of grace? How might this change the dynamics of your relationship? [32:06]
5. How has being part of a spiritual community or small group supported your marriage? If you are not currently part of one, what steps can you take to join or form a supportive community? [33:52]
6. Consider the legacy you are building through your marriage. What intentional choices can you make today to ensure it is one that honors God and positively impacts future generations? [35:41]
7. Identify one specific area in your marriage where you feel there is room for improvement. What practical steps can you take this week to address this area and strengthen your relationship? [35:02]
Devotional
Day 1: Choosing Commitment Over Emotion
Marriage is a journey that requires a conscious decision to commit every day. It is not merely a feeling that fluctuates with time but a deliberate choice to be for one's spouse, to honor and respect them as God's creation. This commitment is the bedrock of a strong, God-centered marriage. When individuals choose to love and support their partners, regardless of the emotional state of the moment, they create a stable foundation that can endure life's challenges. Emotions are important, but they should not dictate the course of the relationship. Instead, aligning actions with the decision to love leads to feelings that reflect this commitment, fostering a harmonious and resilient union [16:11].
Ephesians 4:2-3 "With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace."
Reflection: How can you demonstrate your commitment to your spouse today beyond just expressing your feelings?
Day 2: The Divine Strength of Forgiveness
Forgiveness within marriage is a reflection of the divine forgiveness that God extends to humanity. It is not a sign of weakness but a profound strength that can lead to healing and restoration. When one forgives their spouse and chooses not to hold past mistakes against them, they are participating in an act of grace that mirrors the heart of God. This forgiveness is a powerful step that can renew and transform a relationship, allowing both partners to move forward without the weight of previous transgressions. It is an essential component of a loving and God-honoring marriage [18:02].
Colossians 3:13 "Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive."
Reflection: What is one step you can take today to forgive your spouse for a past mistake?
Day 3: Prayer as the Lifeline of Marriage
Prayer is the cornerstone of a strong marital relationship. When couples come together in prayer, they experience a unique oneness that cannot be replicated by any other means. This sacred practice not only strengthens the bond between husband and wife but also invites God's wisdom and guidance into their lives. Praying together allows couples to face challenges with a united front and ensures that their marriage remains anchored in their faith. Through prayer, couples can seek God's direction and find peace in the assurance that He is actively involved in their relationship [26:39].
James 5:16 "Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working."
Reflection: Can you commit to a time each day to pray with your spouse, and what topics will you bring before God together?
Day 4: Honoring Your Spouse as God Commands
Viewing and treating one's spouse with honor is a command from God that has profound implications for the health of a marriage. When individuals see their partners through the lens of God's love, they are compelled to treat them with the dignity and respect they deserve as fellow heirs of grace. This perspective is crucial for preventing misunderstandings and ensuring that prayers are not hindered by unresolved conflicts. Mutual respect and honor are the hallmarks of a relationship that truly reflects God's intention for marriage [32:06].
1 Peter 3:7 "Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered."
Reflection: In what ways can you show honor to your spouse today that reflects God's love and command?
Day 5: Building a Legacy Through Community
The significance of community in the life of a married couple cannot be overstated. A spiritual family provides not only support and encouragement but also accountability. It allows couples to be vulnerable and to seek help when needed, which strengthens their marriage. Being surrounded by a community that believes in the sanctity of marriage and the power of God's restorative grace is invaluable. It is through this support system that couples can leave behind a legacy that honors God and impacts future generations [33:52].
Hebrews 10:24-25 "And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near."
Reflection: How can you engage with your spiritual community this week to strengthen your marriage and build a lasting legacy?
Quotes
1) "We decided years ago that we would choose daily to be 100% for each other. Choices lead, feelings follow, especially as believers we have to make a choice each and every day." [16:11] (Download)
2) "Forgiveness is instant, healing trust restoration takes time, but it's worth it. Be faithful in the pursuit of God but trust Him with the outcome." [22:25] (Download)
3) "Marriage reveals what is already weak in you. Constant correction is a desire killer. It's hard to kiss the lips of somebody who just chews you out all day." [24:18] (Download)
4) "Marriage really is not designed to be a power struggle but a power union. We're on the same team. No one has more to lose than me if he doesn't win and vice versa." [24:58] (Download)
5) "When you pray by yourself, you operate in half the power if you're married. But when you pray together, you operate in the fullness of Oneness." [26:39] (Download)
6) "Pray and ask God to help you love your spouse as He loves them. She's God's daughter before she is my wife. How am I treating His daughter?" [32:06] (Download)
7) "You need godly people in your lives. You can't have a marriage without great spiritual family. You need to be around spiritual family that loved us through our worst moments." [33:52] (Download)
8) "Choices lead and your feelings will later follow. All of us are going to leave a legacy. The type of legacy we leave is up to us." [35:02] (Download)
9) "I had to choose forgiveness. It takes the Lord to give you the strength and the power to be able to forgive in that kind of way." [20:25] (Download)
10) "We're here today not from a place of perfection, but we are here from a place of intentionality and we know we serve a God that can bring healing and second chances." [36:19] (Download)
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