Influence Through Love: Building Bridges, Not Walls
Summary
Influence is not reserved for those with large social media followings or public platforms; every person has influence in the lives of those around them. Whether it’s at school, at work, in our families, or even in the way we interact with strangers, we are constantly shaping the world through our words, actions, and attitudes. The question is not whether we have influence, but how we will use it—especially as followers of Jesus, who are called to influence others for the sake of God’s kingdom.
Looking at the life of Jesus, we see a radical approach to influence. Jesus consistently built bridges to people who were different, outcast, or even considered enemies. He reached across social, political, and moral divides, as seen in His interactions with Zacchaeus, the tax collector, and the woman at the well. Both were marginalized by their communities, yet Jesus saw their value and potential, engaging them with love and dignity. This is a powerful model for us: true influence is not about gathering people who already agree with us, but about loving and connecting with those who are different.
Jesus’ teachings reinforce this bridge-building approach. He calls us to go beyond what is required—to give more than is demanded, to walk the extra mile, to love even those who oppose us. The “golden rule”—do to others as you would have them do to you—is not just a moral guideline, but a strategy for influence. When we choose to love others first, to listen deeply, and to seek common ground, we draw people in and open doors for meaningful conversations and transformation.
Building influence in a divided world means intentionally choosing to see the image of God in every person, to focus on what unites rather than what divides, and to act with kindness and empathy. It means refusing to retreat into our own trenches or to lob grenades at those who disagree with us. Instead, we step into the middle, loving boldly and sacrificially, just as Jesus did. This is not easy—our natural tendency is to protect ourselves and our own interests—but with Jesus’ help, we can become people who bring others together and make a lasting impact for the kingdom.
Key Takeaways
- Build Bridges, Not Walls
Walls separate and reinforce division, but bridges connect and create opportunities for understanding. In a world that encourages us to focus on differences and disagreements, intentionally seeking common ground and building relational bridges is a powerful act of influence. When we connect with others over shared values and experiences, we open the door for genuine dialogue and transformation. [35:19]
- See People’s Potential, Not Just Their Problems
It’s easy to define people by their flaws, failures, or the ways they differ from us. Jesus, however, saw the potential in Zacchaeus and the woman at the well—He saw what they could become, not just what they were. When we look at others through the lens of their God-given potential, we become agents of hope and encouragement, drawing out the best in those around us. [40:22]
- Practice Radical Kindness
Kindness is the practical expression of love, especially toward those who are difficult or different. Simple acts of empathy, patience, and generosity can break down barriers and create space for influence. When we consistently choose kindness, even in frustrating or inconvenient situations, we reflect the heart of Jesus and invite others to experience His love. [42:27]
- Love First, Listen Deeply
Loving others as we want to be loved means prioritizing their stories, perspectives, and needs above our own agenda. True listening is not just waiting for our turn to speak, but genuinely seeking to understand and value the other person. This kind of love draws people in, builds trust, and gives us a voice in their lives that argument or debate never could. [27:29]
- Influence Flows from Sacrificial Love, Not Self-Interest
Our natural tendency is to protect ourselves and our own interests, but Jesus calls us to a higher way—to love sacrificially, even when it costs us. Real influence comes when we step out of our comfort zones, cross divides, and serve others without expecting anything in return. This kind of love has the power to change hearts, communities, and even nations. [46:02]
Youtube Chapters
[00:00] - Welcome
[01:10] - Everyone Is an Influencer
[04:30] - Abraham Lincoln’s Cabinet: A Lesson in Unity
[09:36] - The Problem of Division in Our Culture
[13:50] - Disagreeing Without Becoming Disagreeable
[18:34] - Jesus’ Approach to Relationships
[20:29] - Zacchaeus: Building Bridges to the Outcast
[22:25] - The Woman at the Well: Crossing Social Barriers
[25:40] - The Law of Love: Do to Others as You’d Have Them Do to You
[27:29] - Loving First and Listening Well
[35:19] - Building Bridges, Not Walls
[36:13] - Finding Common Ground in Divisive Issues
[40:22] - Seeing Potential in Others
[42:27] - The Power of Kindness
[46:02] - The Source of Sacrificial Love
[47:43] - Next Steps: Living Out Influence
[48:26] - Prayer and Sending Out
Study Guide
Bible Study Discussion Guide: "Influence: Building Bridges in a Divided World"
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### Bible Reading
- Luke 6:27-36 (especially v.31: “Do to others as you would have them do to you.”)
- Matthew 5:38-48 (especially vv. 40-41: “If anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles.”)
- John 4:1-42 (Jesus and the woman at the well; story referenced in sermon)
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### Observation Questions
1. In the story of Zacchaeus (Luke 19:1-10, referenced in the sermon), what made Zacchaeus an outcast, and how did Jesus treat him differently than others did? [20:29]
2. According to Matthew 5:40-41, what does Jesus say to do when someone sues you or forces you to do something? How is this different from what most people would expect?
3. In Luke 6:31, Jesus gives what is often called the “golden rule.” How does this rule go beyond just being “nice” to others?
4. The sermon mentioned that Jesus built bridges to people who were different, like Zacchaeus and the woman at the well. What are some specific ways Jesus crossed social or moral barriers in these stories? [22:25]
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### Interpretation Questions
1. Why do you think Jesus chose to spend time with people like Zacchaeus and the woman at the well, even though they were rejected by others? What does this show us about the kind of influence Jesus wants us to have? [20:29]
2. When Jesus tells us to “go the extra mile” or “turn the other cheek,” what is He really asking us to do in our relationships with people who may not like us or agree with us? [22:25]
3. The sermon said, “True influence is not about gathering people who already agree with us, but about loving and connecting with those who are different.” Why is this kind of influence so powerful, especially in a divided world? [35:19]
4. How does seeing people’s potential, instead of just their problems or differences, change the way we interact with them? [40:22]
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### Application Questions
1. Think of someone in your life who is “across the aisle” from you—maybe they have different beliefs, values, or backgrounds. What is one practical way you could build a bridge to them this week? [35:19]
2. The sermon challenged us to “see people’s potential, not just their problems.” Is there someone you tend to judge or avoid because of their past or reputation? What would it look like to see them through Jesus’ eyes? [40:22]
3. When was the last time you had to choose between protecting your own interests and showing kindness or generosity to someone else? How did you respond, and what might you do differently next time? [42:27]
4. The “golden rule” (Luke 6:31) is easy to say but hard to live. Can you share a recent situation where you struggled to treat someone the way you wanted to be treated? What made it difficult?
5. The sermon gave an example of responding with patience and kindness instead of anger when someone blocked the pastor’s truck. Is there a situation in your life right now where you need to choose kindness over frustration? What would that look like? [42:27]
6. Jesus’ influence flowed from sacrificial love, not self-interest. What is one area of your life where you could step out of your comfort zone to serve or love someone who is different from you? [46:02]
7. The sermon said, “With Jesus’ help, we can become people who bring others together and make a lasting impact for the kingdom.” What is one step you can take this week to be a bridge-builder in your family, workplace, or community? [47:43]
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Closing Prayer Suggestion:
Ask God to help you see others as He sees them, to give you courage to build bridges, and to use your influence for His kingdom.
Devotional
Day 1: Love Across the Trenches
Jesus calls us to love and build bridges with those who are different from us, even when society encourages division and separation. When we look at the stories of Zacchaeus and the woman at the well, we see Jesus intentionally reaching out to people who were considered outcasts, building relationships with those whom others avoided. He did not let differences in beliefs, backgrounds, or reputations keep Him from showing love and offering friendship. In a world that often tells us to keep our distance from those who disagree with us, Jesus models a radical love that crosses every divide. As His followers, we are invited to step out of our comfort zones, reach across the aisle, and love people who may not think, believe, or act like us. This is the kind of influence that changes lives and brings people together. [22:25]
Luke 19:5-7 (ESV)
And when Jesus came to the place, he looked up and said to him, “Zacchaeus, hurry and come down, for I must stay at your house today.” So he hurried and came down and received him joyfully. And when they saw it, they all grumbled, “He has gone in to be the guest of a man who is a sinner.”
Reflection: Who is someone in your life that you tend to avoid or keep at a distance because of differences? How can you take a step toward building a bridge of love with them this week?
Day 2: The Law of Love—Do to Others as You Would Have Them Do to You
Jesus teaches that true influence comes from loving others as we would want to be loved, even when it is difficult or inconvenient. This “law of love” is not just a nice saying for children; it is a daily choice that challenges us to put others before ourselves. When we choose to love first, our conversations, actions, and attitudes shift from self-centeredness to genuine care for others. This kind of love listens deeply, seeks to understand, and values the person in front of us, regardless of their beliefs or background. As we practice this, people are drawn to us, and our influence grows—not because we are trying to win arguments, but because we are living out the love of Jesus in practical ways. [25:40]
Luke 6:31 (ESV)
And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.
Reflection: Think of a recent situation where you felt wronged or inconvenienced. How could you respond differently if you truly applied Jesus’ command to do to others as you would have them do to you?
Day 3: Build Bridges, Not Walls
Influence grows when we focus on building connections rather than emphasizing what separates us. Walls keep people apart, but bridges create opportunities for understanding, collaboration, and unity. Even in areas of deep disagreement—whether political, social, or personal—we can choose to look for common ground and shared values. When we approach others with a desire to connect rather than to win, we open the door for meaningful conversations and relationships. This is how we become people who bring others together, rather than contributing to the division that is so common in our world. [35:19]
Romans 12:18 (ESV)
If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.
Reflection: Where in your life have you built walls instead of bridges? What is one practical step you can take this week to connect with someone on the other side of a disagreement?
Day 4: See People’s Potential Like Jesus Does
Jesus saw beyond people’s flaws and reputations to their God-given potential, and He calls us to do the same. While others saw Zacchaeus as a corrupt tax collector and the woman at the well as immoral, Jesus saw their capacity for transformation and influence. When we look at people through the eyes of Jesus, we see their value, their story, and the image of God within them. This perspective allows us to encourage, uplift, and invest in others, helping them become who God created them to be. By seeing potential instead of problems, we become agents of hope and change in our communities. [40:22]
Ephesians 2:10 (ESV)
For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.
Reflection: Who in your life have you written off or labeled because of their past or reputation? How can you intentionally look for and affirm their God-given potential this week?
Day 5: Kindness in Everything You Do
Kindness is the practical expression of love that opens hearts and changes atmospheres. Whether it’s listening, showing compassion, or offering help, small acts of kindness can have a profound impact on those around us. In a world that often rewards harshness and division, choosing kindness sets us apart and draws people in. As we consistently practice kindness, we reflect the heart of Jesus and create opportunities for influence and transformation. Even when it’s difficult, kindness is a powerful way to unite people and point them toward God’s love. [42:27]
Colossians 3:12 (ESV)
Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience.
Reflection: What is one specific act of kindness you can do today for someone who may not expect it from you? How might this simple gesture open the door for deeper connection or influence?
Quotes
And Zacchaeus hosts Jesus in his home. And everyone around goes, why is Jesus going with him? That's not the guy that Jesus should hang out with. That's not the one that thinks like we think. He doesn't believe like we believe. He doesn't do what we do. And yet Jesus builds a bridge across to a relationship with Zacchaeus because Jesus loves. And Jesus is the greatest influencer of all time. And he was bringing people together. [00:21:16] (31 seconds)
We've been telling kids in elementary school that since they started elementary school right? Do to others as you'd have them do to you. You know what that is that's the law of love. I would I'm going to love you in the way that I would like to be loved. Here's what happens though and we get to choose every day. We get to choose if we're going to love other people first or if I'm gonna love myself first. [00:26:03] (22 seconds)
If you love yourself well here's what happens your agenda becomes the topic of all conversations subconsciously you might not tell them that but what you want because you've chosen to love yourself is the agenda for the conversation. It's the agenda for the time together. [00:26:24] (15 seconds)
let me give you some some takeaways some things to hold on to some next steps of what you can do this week if you're going to develop that influence with the people that you have to bring people together to love people across the trench here's the first thing you've got to build bridges and not walls walls separate walls go I need to keep you away from me because we don't have things in common we're opposed to one another so I put a wall up bridges connect what you have and what I have an agreement and we want to be there we need to build the connections not the walls again we're living in a world that goes hey this is how we disagree but if you can [00:32:50] (45 seconds)
agree on that we both believe that people should be safe and we both believe that families and people should be thriving so maybe we can gather around the table and we'll never be able to gather around the table if we're gonna argue a wall but we can gather around the table if we've built a bridge and we love that person and we truly want to hear from that person and they know that they're loved they'll come sit at the table if they know they're loved and we can talk about how can we come up with all of your good brains and all of my good brains how can we come up with a solution that keeps people feeling safe and thriving but you know why we can't come up with a solution because we don't talk with the enemy and that's who they are or that's who they are could you imagine the influence the leadership we'd have if people loved people brought them to the table and we could build bridges and not walls now listen after this message if you want to grab a hold of me to tell me what I'm missing about the border wall you've missed the entire point [00:37:47] (67 seconds)
here's the second thing we got to see people's potential see when we're not leading when we're not loving people we see all of their we we see their flaws we see what we're against when we see people's potential like Jesus did people saw Zacchaeus as a tax collector Jesus saw a guy whose heart was going to turn all the things that he might have taken from somebody else and give it all back times four Jesus saw a man who had great influence in a part of the world that none of the other people who didn't like him had any of that fluence and Jesus saw that but more importantly people saw no value in Zacchaeus and Jesus saw value the woman at the well everyone saw her as a dirty woman a woman with no morals and Jesus saw her as a potential influence who would change her city and he saw her as a child of God he saw her potential rather than what everybody else said and if you're going to love people you've got to be able to see their potential [00:39:01] (65 seconds)
That's because he saw potential in somebody rather than what everybody else saw. It's because he was willing to hear the stories, willing to love people. Here's the third thing, and it's a short one. You just got to be kind in everything that you do. That's what love is. It's the expression of love, the kindness, to listen, to be there, to have compassion, to have empathy. [00:41:57] (23 seconds)
As you love people, your situation, your classes, your job is going to change because as you love people, you're going to gain influence because you're going to unite people and bring people to you. And you're going to be the influencer that gets past all of the trench warfare and all of the argument across the aisles because you're going to be the one that stands in the middle, loving people. And as you love people and they come out of their trenches to you, things are going to change because of the influence that God's given you if you'll just develop it. And you develop it by building those bridges. [00:42:18] (32 seconds)
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