Our Imperfect Family

Family is one of God’s greatest gifts, but it’s also one of life’s greatest challenges. No family is perfect—every home, including my own, has its share of dysfunction, pain, and struggles. The reason for this is rooted in the reality of sin, which has affected every family since the very beginning, starting with Adam and Eve. Even the families we admire from a distance, or those we see on social media, are not immune to brokenness. The people we love most are also the ones who can hurt us the deepest, and that’s why family issues can be so painful and so personal.

Yet, God has always been in the business of stepping into our dysfunction and bringing healing. He designed the family, and He alone has the authority and wisdom to define what family is meant to be. From the very beginning, God modeled family in His own nature—Father, Son, and Holy Spirit—and established marriage as a powerful, productive partnership between a man and a woman. The enemy has always sought to attack and distort this design, knowing the strength and blessing that comes from a family walking in unity and purpose.

In a culture that is increasingly confused and hostile toward God’s design for family, marriage, and even gender, it’s more important than ever to return to the foundation of God’s Word. We must resist the temptation to let culture define our values or to build our homes on the shifting sands of popular opinion. Instead, we are called to build on the solid rock of God’s truth, applying His principles in our daily lives. Hearing the Word is not enough; we must be doers of the Word, especially when storms come.

But there’s another crucial piece: the health of the individual. The best gift I can give my spouse, my children, my grandchildren, and my church is a healthy me. For years, I brought anger, insecurity, and control into my home, and it damaged those closest to me. Real change began when I stopped trying to fix everyone else and allowed God to transform me from the inside out. True legacy starts with personal repentance and a willingness to let God renew our minds and hearts. When we change, our world changes. God is still working on each of us, and He invites us to lay the ax to the root of our dysfunction, repent, and walk in newness of life.

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Key Takeaways

• 1. God’s Design Defines Family God, as the Creator of family, alone has the authority to define its purpose and structure. When we let culture or our own preferences redefine what God has established, we invite confusion and dysfunction. Returning to God’s original design brings clarity, blessing, and strength to our homes. [08:33]
• 2. Build on the Foundation of God’s Word A strong family or marriage cannot be built on shifting cultural values or personal feelings. Only by hearing and doing God’s Word can we withstand the inevitable storms of life. The difference between a house that stands and one that falls is not knowledge, but obedience. [25:44]
• 3. Personal Health is the Greatest Gift The most significant contribution we can make to our families is our own spiritual, emotional, and relational health. When we allow God to transform us—dealing with our anger, insecurity, or other dysfunctions—we change the atmosphere of our homes and set a new legacy for future generations. [33:40]
• 4. Change Begins with Repentance and Renewal We cannot change others, but we can allow God to change us. True transformation comes when we repent, lay the ax to the root of our issues, and renew our minds with God’s truth. As we change, our families and relationships are impacted in profound ways. [37:16]

Youtube Chapters

• [00:00] - Welcome
• [00:16] - Introducing “Our Imperfect Family”
• [01:11] - Family Stories and Grandkids
• [02:34] - 50 Years of Marriage: Transparency
• [03:17] - No Perfect Families: Social Media vs. Reality
• [05:25] - The Pain and Challenge of Family Dysfunction
• [06:22] - Sin: The Root of Dysfunction
• [07:11] - God’s Healing and New Legacy
• [08:33] - God Defines Family
• [10:00] - The Power of Marriage Partnership
• [12:06] - The Enemy’s Attack on Family
• [13:55] - Culture’s Redefinition vs. God’s Design
• [15:54] - Romans 12: Don’t Conform to Culture
• [18:48] - Jesus on Marriage and Gender
• [22:59] - Building on the Right Foundation
• [25:44] - Hearing and Doing God’s Word
• [29:09] - Wise Builders Prepare for Storms
• [31:40] - The Cost of Building on Sand
• [33:40] - The Gift of a Healthy Me
• [37:16] - Repentance and Real Change
• [40:03] - God is Still Working on Us
• [42:01] - Responding to God’s Call to Change

**Bible Study Discussion Guide: "Our Imperfect Family"**

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### Bible Reading

**Genesis 1:26-28 (ESV)**
> Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.”
> So God created man in his own image,
> in the image of God he created him;
> male and female he created them.
> And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”

**Romans 12:2 (ESV)**
> Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

**Matthew 7:24-27 (ESV)**
> “Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it.”

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### Observation Questions

1. According to Genesis 1:26-28, what does it mean that God created humans in His image, and how does this relate to the idea of family?
2. In Romans 12:2, what is the difference between being “conformed to this world” and being “transformed by the renewal of your mind”?
3. In Matthew 7:24-27, what is the main difference between the wise and foolish builders, and what does Jesus say will happen to each house?
4. The sermon mentions that every family, even those that look perfect from the outside, has dysfunction and pain. What are some reasons given for this reality? [[06:22]]

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### Interpretation Questions

1. The sermon says, “I believe the one who designed family should define family.” Why is it important to let God’s design, rather than culture or personal preference, shape our understanding of family? [[08:33]]
2. How does building your life and family on God’s Word provide stability during difficult times, according to both the sermon and Matthew 7:24-27? [[25:44]]
3. The pastor shared about his own struggles with anger and control. Why is personal health—spiritual, emotional, and relational—described as the greatest gift we can give our families? [[33:40]]
4. The sermon talks about repentance and “laying the ax to the root” of dysfunction. What does true repentance and renewal look like in the context of family relationships? [[37:16]]

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### Application Questions

1. The pastor said, “No family is perfect—every home, including my own, has its share of dysfunction, pain, and struggles.” What is one area of dysfunction or pain in your family that you wish God would heal? Are you willing to invite Him into that area? [[05:25]]
2. In what ways have you noticed culture trying to redefine family, marriage, or gender? How do you personally respond when you see or feel this pressure? [[13:55]]
3. The sermon emphasized not just hearing God’s Word, but doing it. Is there a specific teaching from the Bible about family or relationships that you know, but have struggled to put into practice? What’s holding you back? [[25:44]]
4. The pastor shared that for years he brought anger, insecurity, and control into his home, and it damaged those closest to him. Is there a personal issue or attitude you bring into your family that you know needs to change? What steps could you take this week to address it? [[34:40]]
5. “The best gift I can give my spouse, my children, my grandchildren, and my church is a healthy me.” What does a “healthy you” look like? What is one practical thing you can do this week to grow in spiritual, emotional, or relational health? [[33:40]]
6. The sermon says, “We cannot change others, but we can allow God to change us.” Is there someone in your family you’ve been trying to change? How might things look different if you focused on your own growth and let God work on them? [[36:02]]
7. Repentance was described as “laying the ax to the root” and turning in a new direction. Is there an area where you need to repent and ask God for a fresh start? What would it look like to “lay the ax to the root” in your life this week? [[37:16]]