Imitate Good, Reject Pride: A Call to Men

John sets two men side by side so the church can see the fork in the road. Gaius has already shown what walking in the truth looks like. Now Diotrephes shows what happens when a man “likes to put himself first” and “does not acknowledge our authority.” That habit sits in the present tense. It is not a slip. It is a settled way. Desire for preeminence drives him, but Scripture gives that place to Christ alone. “He is the head of the body.” One head. Not two. When leaders forget that, a church grows a monster. Jesus taught that first place comes by taking last place and serving all. Pride refuses that path.

Diotrephes rejects apostolic oversight, which means he resists the very shepherding Christ gives for the church’s good. Submission is not blind. It is willing, careful, and measured by the Word. But it is real. Pride does not stop there. Diotrephes spreads “wicked nonsense,” the kind of talk that bubbles like boiling water and then pops into nothing. Empty words still wound. In his case they also harden into action. He withholds hospitality from faithful brothers and even throws out those who would receive them. That is how an unbeliever acts. So the command stands clear: “Do not imitate evil, but imitate good.”

Demetrius gives a better way. “He has received a good testimony from everyone, and from the truth itself.” The Word reads his life and agrees. That is integrity. Scripture calls the church to imitate those who imitate Christ. That begins at home. A man’s name means most where the front door closes. Public praise means little if wife and children cannot say the same.

A reputation is a work in progress. Love God and neighbor. Walk by the Spirit. Die daily. Take up the cross every morning and put self to death so Christ lives through the day. For men especially, the battle orders in 1 Corinthians 16 land hard and good: be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong, and let everything be done in love. Then model it. Let family see open Bibles, real prayer, quiet service, and gospel courage. There is only one throne. King Jesus will not yield it. That is the guardrail for every home and every church.

Key Takeaways

• 1. Pride grabs preeminence Christ holds Pride tries to climb to first chair, but Scripture gives that seat to Jesus. When a leader hunts for prominence, ministry turns into a stage and people become props. Christ’s headship frees leaders to serve without clutching. Humility is not soft; it is obedience to the only rightful Head. [45:28]
• 2. Godly submission resists manipulation Biblical leadership watches souls, not wallets or egos. The church is called to follow faithful shepherds, yet never to surrender conscience or Scripture. True oversight is not domineering; it is example, patience, and protection from wolves. Submission and discernment grow together, not apart. [49:33]
• 3. Imitation requires tested examples God commands imitation, but not of everything that shines. Character must be weighed by the Word and confirmed over time. Demetrius carried a testimony from everyone and from truth itself, so copying him meant moving toward Christ. The church learns holiness by mimicking holy lives. [59:03]
• 4. Stand watch with cruciform love Men are ordered to stay alert, plant their feet in the faith, act like men, and draw strength from God. Courage without love turns harsh; love without courage collapses under pressure. The cross supplies both backbone and tenderness so leadership serves rather than rules. [70:38]

Youtube Chapters

• [00:00] - Welcome
• [36:18] - Open your Bible to Third John
• [37:46] - Gaius as a faithful model
• [38:48] - Two men, two reputations
• [40:17] - Fathers targeted and responsible
• [41:36] - Character and a good name
• [44:33] - Diotrephes and the itch for preeminence
• [45:28] - Christ alone is preeminent
• [48:33] - Rejecting authority vs biblical submission
• [53:44] - Slander that bubbles and pops
• [56:08] - Hospitality refused and heavy-handed control
• [59:03] - Do not imitate evil
• [61:42] - Demetrius: a life worth mimicking
• [67:10] - Your reputation in progress: love, walk, die
• [70:38] - Act like men, be strong, do it in love
• [76:10] - King Jesus on the throne and closing prayer

1. What three specific behaviors does John highlight about Diotrephes in 3 John 9-10?
2. How does the sermon contrast the reputations of Gaius and Diotrephes? [38:48]
3. According to Colossians 1:18 (referenced in the sermon), why is Christ’s preeminence non-negotiable for church leadership?
4. What practical command does John give in 3 John 11, and how does Demetrius embody it?

1. Why might a desire for preeminence in leadership lead to rejecting spiritual authority, as seen in Diotrephes? [44:33]
2. How does the metaphor of “boiling water bubbles” (used in the sermon) illustrate the nature of slander and empty words? [53:44]
3. In 1 Corinthians 16:13-14, Paul commands men to “act like men” and “be strong.” How does this align with the call to cruciform (cross-shaped) leadership described in the sermon? [01:10:38]
4. Why is a person’s reputation at home (e.g., with family) a more reliable test of character than public acclaim? [01:05:20]

1. Where in your life (work, church, relationships) do you feel tempted to “put yourself first” like Diotrephes? What practical step could you take this week to intentionally serve instead?
2. The sermon warns that “submission and discernment grow together, not apart” [49:33]. How can you cultivate both humility toward godly leadership and discernment to avoid manipulation?
3. Demetrius’ integrity was confirmed “by everyone and from the truth itself.” Who in your life models Christ-like character so consistently that you could safely imitate them? How might you intentionally learn from their example?
4. The sermon challenges men to “model it” by letting their families see open Bibles, prayer, and gospel courage [01:12:57]. What one habit could you start (or strengthen) to visibly demonstrate your faith to those closest to you?
5. How might “taking up the cross daily” (Luke 9:23) look different in your current season of life compared to five years ago?
6. When have you seen “courage without love turn harsh” or “love without courage collapse under pressure” [01:10:38] in your own leadership? What would it look like to balance both this week?