Humility and Self-Reflection: Lessons from the Pharisee and Tax Collector

Devotional

Day 1: True Humility Before God

Humility is not about outward appearances or self-congratulation, but about honestly recognizing our need for God's mercy and grace. In the parable Jesus tells, the Pharisee stands apart, boasting of his religious deeds and looking down on others, while the tax collector stands at a distance, unable even to lift his eyes to heaven, and simply pleads for mercy. It is the tax collector, not the Pharisee, who goes home justified before God. This story reminds us that God values a humble and contrite heart over prideful self-righteousness. We are invited to come before God honestly, acknowledging our shortcomings and our dependence on His grace. [46:29]

Luke 18:9-14 (ESV)
He also told this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and treated others with contempt: “Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee, standing by himself, prayed thus: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I get.’ But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, a sinner!’ I tell you, this man went down to his house justified, rather than the other. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted.”

Reflection: In what area of your life do you find yourself comparing yourself to others or feeling superior? How can you bring a spirit of humility and honest self-reflection to God in prayer today?

Day 2: The Difference Between Guilt and Shame

Guilt can be a helpful emotion that leads us to take responsibility for our actions and seek to change, while shame is destructive, convincing us that we are fundamentally flawed or unworthy. Guilt says, "What I did was wrong," prompting us to make amends and grow, but shame says, "Who I am is wrong," which can paralyze us and keep us from seeking God's forgiveness and transformation. God does not desire for us to live in shame, but to recognize our mistakes, accept His grace, and move forward in hope. [54:59]

Psalm 32:5 (ESV)
I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not cover my iniquity; I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,” and you forgave the iniquity of my sin.

Reflection: Is there a mistake or failure in your life that you have allowed to define your sense of self-worth? How can you invite God to help you move from shame to healthy responsibility and growth today?

Day 3: Created as God’s Good Gift

Each person is created by God as a gift to the world, made in love, with promise and hope. Even though we are imperfect and sometimes act in self-interest, God’s original declaration over us is “It is good.” Remembering our identity as beloved creations helps us to see ourselves and others with grace, and to live out of a sense of worth and purpose rather than self-condemnation. [56:26]

Genesis 1:27, 31 (ESV)
So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them... And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good.

Reflection: When you look at yourself in the mirror, do you see someone created in God’s image and called good? What is one way you can affirm your God-given value today?

Day 4: The Call to Honest Self-Reflection

God calls us not to self-flagellation, but to honest self-reflection—seeing both our strengths and our faults, and being willing to grow. This means taking time to look at our lives, acknowledge where we fall short, and also recognize the gifts and abilities God has given us. Through self-reflection, we open ourselves to God’s ongoing work of transformation, trusting that we are always being perfected by His love. [52:37]

2 Corinthians 13:5 (ESV)
Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Or do you not realize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?—unless indeed you fail to meet the test!

Reflection: Set aside a few quiet moments today to honestly reflect on your life. What is one area where you sense God inviting you to grow or change?

Day 5: Hope in God’s Ongoing Work

The good news is that God, through Christ, is always at work perfecting us, reminding us of our value, and calling us to live out that value. We are not expected to be perfect on our own, but to trust in God’s love and guidance as we continue on the journey of faith. This hope gives us courage to keep moving forward, knowing that God sees the fullness of who we are and is committed to our growth and flourishing. [58:29]

Philippians 1:6 (ESV)
And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.

Reflection: Where do you need to be reminded today that God is not finished with you yet? How can you express gratitude for God’s ongoing work in your life?

Sermon Summary

Humility is at the heart of our relationship with God and with one another. In the parable from Luke 18, Jesus contrasts the self-righteous Pharisee with the humble tax collector, showing that true righteousness is not found in outward displays or comparisons, but in honest self-reflection and a contrite heart before God. The Pharisee’s prayer is filled with pride and contempt, while the tax collector, aware of his own shortcomings, simply asks for mercy. This story reminds us that God values humility and honest self-assessment over self-exaltation.

We are called to look at ourselves honestly—not to wallow in shame, but to recognize both our gifts and our faults. Guilt, when rightly understood, can be a helpful emotion that leads us to take responsibility and seek change. Shame, on the other hand, is destructive, convincing us that we are fundamentally flawed and unworthy. God does not desire for us to live in shame, but rather to see ourselves as beloved, created in love, and full of promise, even as we acknowledge our imperfections.

God’s work in us is ongoing. Through Christ, we are constantly being perfected, reminded of our value, and called to live out that value in the world. Humility is not about thinking less of ourselves, but about seeing ourselves truthfully and gratefully, recognizing our need for God’s grace and our capacity for growth. As we bring our whole selves—our joys and sorrows, strengths and weaknesses—before God, we find hope and the courage to continue on the journey of faith. We are invited to trust that God, who created us in love, is always at work within us, shaping us into the fullness of who we are meant to be.

Key Takeaways

1. Humility is rooted in honest self-reflection, not in outward displays or comparisons. The tax collector’s simple, heartfelt prayer is valued by God over the Pharisee’s self-congratulation, reminding us that God looks at the heart, not at our public image or achievements. True humility opens us to God’s mercy and transformation. [46:29]
2. There is a crucial difference between guilt and shame. Guilt can be a healthy response that leads us to take responsibility and seek change, while shame convinces us that we are fundamentally flawed and unworthy. God calls us to acknowledge our mistakes without losing sight of our inherent worth as beloved children. [54:59]
3. God does not desire self-torment or endless self-criticism from us. Instead, we are invited to see ourselves as God sees us: created in love, full of promise, and capable of growth. Recognizing both our gifts and our faults allows us to live more fully and faithfully. [56:26]
4. The process of being perfected by God is ongoing. We are not expected to be perfect, but to be open to God’s work in us, trusting that we are being shaped and refined through grace. This journey requires gratitude, humility, and a willingness to be honest with ourselves and with God. [57:28]
5. Bringing our whole selves—strengths, weaknesses, joys, and sorrows—before God is an act of faith. In doing so, we find hope and courage for the journey, knowing that God’s love and grace are sufficient for every step. Our calling is to live out this truth, blessing the world with the grace we have received. [61:17]

Youtube Chapters

[00:00] - Welcome
[20:59] - Good News for Dale
[21:33] - Announcements and Trunk or Treat
[22:13] - Reflections on Reverend Ochoa
[24:54] - Prayer Requests
[26:24] - Prayer of Confession
[40:09] - Seeking God’s Strength
[40:40] - Scripture Reading: Luke 18:9-14
[46:52] - Humility and Self-Reflection
[48:35] - The Irony of Bragging About Humility
[51:25] - The Pharisee and the Tax Collector
[53:39] - Guilt vs. Shame
[56:26] - Created in Love, Called to Growth
[57:28] - God’s Ongoing Work in Us
[61:17] - Prayers and the Lord’s Prayer
[67:52] - Offering and Dedication
[68:39] - Closing Hymn and Benediction

Bible Study Guide

Small Group Bible Study Guide: Humility, Honest Self-Reflection, and God’s Ongoing Work

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Bible Reading

Luke 18:9-14 (ESV)
He also told this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and treated others with contempt:
“Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee, standing by himself, prayed thus: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I get.’ But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, a sinner!’ I tell you, this man went down to his house justified, rather than the other. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted.”

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Observation Questions

In the parable, what are the main differences between the Pharisee’s prayer and the tax collector’s prayer? ([46:03])
According to Jesus, which man went home justified, and why? ([46:29])
What does the Pharisee focus on in his prayer, and what does the tax collector focus on? ([46:03])
How does the sermon describe the difference between guilt and shame? ([54:59])

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Interpretation Questions

Why does Jesus say that the tax collector, not the Pharisee, is justified before God? What does this teach about what God values? ([46:29])
The sermon says that humility is rooted in honest self-reflection, not in outward displays or comparisons. What does honest self-reflection look like in practice? ([52:37])
The pastor explains that guilt can be helpful, but shame is destructive. How might confusing the two affect someone’s relationship with God and others? ([54:59])
The sermon says God is not interested in self-torment or endless self-criticism. What does it mean to see ourselves as God sees us? ([56:26])

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Application Questions

The Pharisee compared himself to others and felt superior. Are there areas in your life where you find yourself comparing yourself to others? How does this affect your relationship with God and people around you? ([46:03])
The tax collector was honest about his shortcomings and asked for mercy. Is there something in your life right now that you need to bring honestly before God? What would it look like to do that this week? ([46:03])
The sermon talks about the difference between guilt and shame. Can you think of a time when you felt guilt or shame? How did you respond, and what would it look like to respond in a healthier way? ([54:59])
The pastor said God does not want us to beat ourselves up, but to see ourselves as created in love and full of promise. What is one way you can remind yourself this week that you are God’s beloved, even as you acknowledge your imperfections? ([56:26])
The sermon says God’s work in us is ongoing and we are being perfected through grace. Where do you see God at work in your life right now, shaping or refining you? ([57:28])
Bringing our whole selves—strengths, weaknesses, joys, and sorrows—before God is an act of faith. What part of yourself do you find hardest to bring to God? Why? ([01:01:17])
The pastor encouraged gratitude and humility as part of our journey. What is one practical way you can practice gratitude and humility this week, either in prayer or in your interactions with others? ([57:28])

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Closing Prayer Suggestion:
Invite group members to spend a few moments in silent prayer, honestly bringing both their gifts and their struggles before God, and then close by thanking God for His love, mercy, and ongoing work in each person’s life.

Sermon Clips

In today's scripture, as Sheila pointed out to the kids, Jesus is telling a parable that's all about humility, who is humble and who is not and what it meant. Because here you have two people who were in positions of power, one for the state and one for the church. And ironically, in this case, one for the state was not enough. The one for the state was more humble than the one for the church. The tax collector was rueful and asked forgiveness because he knew that he was not a perfect person. He was imperfect and he needed forgiveness for the times that he used his position to take advantage of other people. He was humble enough to realize that sometimes his wants and desires were more important to him than the other person. [00:50:45]

The religious leader had no sense of humility. He was unable to look at himself with any sort of self-reflection, kind of like that host that I mentioned earlier, lacked the capacity for looking at one's life and reflect upon it. And I believe that in this parable, Jesus is teaching us not only something about humility, but about the need for self-reflection, about looking at ourselves honestly and taking into account the whole of who we are. [00:52:16]

Now don't get me wrong, I don't believe that we are called to self-flagellation, to beat up on ourselves for all the things we did wrong. We are called to be responsible and reflective in our lives. [00:53:10]

Periodically, I give, about once a month, I give a lecture to, over at the Drug and Alcohol Treatment Center, the Addiction Care Center for Avera. And the lecture I give each month is a lecture on guilt and shame. Because part of their recovery is learning to distinguish or discern or differentiate between those two feelings. Because too often, guilt and shame get blurred together, seen as the same thing. But there's a difference, and it makes a difference. [00:53:36]

First of all, guilt tends to be a helpful emotion. Why? Because it helps us take responsibility for our lives. It enables us to make a very important decision. What I did was wrong. What I did was a mistake. And that's not who I am, or at least that's not who I wish to be. So I'm going to do what I can to change my behavior to reflect or to be more fully who I feel I need to be. It's a helpful emotion in our lives. [00:54:15]

Now, shame is a completely different animal. Shame, instead of being helpful, becomes destructive. And what do I mean by shame? Take that same statement, that statement about guilt. What I did was wrong. What I did was a mistake. But shame says, instead of what I did was wrong, what I did was a mistake, it says, who I am is a mistake. Who I am is wrong. [00:54:59]

You see how destructive? That is? How paralyzing that is? Because why even try if I'm just a worthless piece of you know what? What God calls us to is to be aware and take responsibility of who we are as a complete person. And God's not interested in self-torment and beating up on ourselves. God isn't interested in us being in a constant state of self-flagellation. God wants us to. See is the fullness of who we are. [00:55:38]

And what does that mean? First of all, it means that we realize that we are a gift. We are God's gift to the world. That's how we were created. When God created us, God says, it is good. We are created in love. We are created with promise. We are created with hope. We are created with desire. We are created with love. [00:56:22]

We are imperfect. We do make mistakes. All too often we act in our own self-interest over the interests and needs of others. All too often we become judgmental and unwilling or unable to forgive. All too often we put ourselves before God, or at least before our relationship with God. [00:56:55]

Good news. And this is what I believe Jesus is saying. I believe he's calling us to. The good news is that God, through Christ, is constantly at work perfecting us, making us better, reminding us of our value, calling us to live out that value, to be the fullness of what we can be. And in my eyes, that's what it means to be humble. [00:57:34]

It's when we can say to God, thank you. Thank you for loving me and believing in me. And I know I'm not there yet, but I know with your help I can continue on the way to being there. That's what we are called to. And that's what gives us hope in our faith. That sense of self, self-reflection. [00:58:12]

We are indeed called to bring all of ourselves to our God, who created us, redeems us, and sustains us. [01:04:17]

Let us go from this place. God's blessing to the world. Full of grace. Full of promise. Ever being perfected by a loving God. Amen. [01:12:58]

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Humility and Self-Reflection: Lessons from the Pharisee and Tax Collector

Devotional

Day 1: True Humility Before God

Day 2: The Difference Between Guilt and Shame

Day 3: Created as God’s Good Gift

Day 4: The Call to Honest Self-Reflection

Day 5: Hope in God’s Ongoing Work

Sermon Summary

Key Takeaways

Youtube Chapters

Bible Study Guide

Sermon Clips

Chatbot

Humility and Self-Reflection: Lessons from the Pharisee and Tax Collector

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