Honoring Authority: A Reflection on Family and God

 

Summary

In today's reflection on the fifth commandment, "Honor your father and your mother," we delve into the profound struggle with authority that many of us face. This commandment is not just about familial respect but extends to all forms of authority in our lives. The first authority figures we encounter are our parents, and our experiences with them often shape our perceptions of authority throughout life. If authority was used well in our early years, we tend to respect it; if not, we may resist it. This is why the strength of family life is crucial for the well-being of society. A culture cannot thrive where respect for authority breaks down.

The commandment to honor our parents is not conditional on their being honorable. God places people in our lives whom we are called to honor, regardless of their flaws. This extends beyond childhood into adulthood and old age, where honoring parents involves listening to their counsel and caring for them. Jesus exemplified this on the cross, ensuring his mother's care even in his agony.

Parenting is a high calling, as parents represent God to their children. This requires wisdom, sufficiency, and love. Wisdom involves understanding each child's unique needs, sufficiency means not using children to fulfill our unmet needs, and love is about wooing rather than forcing. Authority without love is destructive, and we must be careful not to manipulate our children into faith decisions.

For those with unworthy parents, honoring them involves compassion and prayer for their transformation. Healing begins when we look to God, who is the perfect authority—wise, sufficient, and loving. Our ultimate hope and healing come from recognizing that God is not like any flawed authority figures we may have encountered. He is the final authority, and his nature is love.

Key Takeaways:

1. The Struggle with Authority: Our first experiences with authority, often through our parents, shape our lifelong perceptions. If authority was used well, we tend to respect it; if not, we may resist it. This highlights the importance of strong family life for societal well-being. [03:59]

2. Unconditional Honor: The commandment to honor our parents is not conditional on their being honorable. God places people in our lives whom we are called to honor, regardless of their flaws. This extends beyond childhood into adulthood and old age. [07:18]

3. Parenting as a High Calling: Parents represent God to their children, requiring wisdom, sufficiency, and love. Wisdom involves understanding each child's unique needs, sufficiency means not using children to fulfill our unmet needs, and love is about wooing rather than forcing. [21:06]

4. Compassion for Unworthy Parents: For those with unworthy parents, honoring them involves compassion and prayer for their transformation. Healing begins when we look to God, who is the perfect authority—wise, sufficient, and loving. [41:59]

5. God as the Perfect Authority: Our ultimate hope and healing come from recognizing that God is not like any flawed authority figures we may have encountered. He is the final authority, and his nature is love. [43:18]

Youtube Chapters:

- [00:00] - Welcome
- [00:08] - Introduction to the Fifth Commandment
- [00:31] - Struggle with Authority
- [01:09] - Loving Your Neighbor
- [02:32] - The Good Samaritan and Our Neighbors
- [03:27] - Authority in Family Life
- [04:48] - Respect for Authority and Society
- [05:20] - Diverse Experiences with Parents
- [06:07] - God's Loving Authority
- [07:18] - Unconditional Honor
- [09:28] - Meaning of Honor
- [10:44] - Honoring Parents in Childhood
- [12:15] - Honoring Parents in Adulthood
- [15:06] - Honoring Parents in Old Age
- [19:15] - Parenting Worthy of Honor
- [24:44] - Using Authority Wisely
- [29:07] - Sufficiency in Parenting
- [32:20] - Love in Authority
- [39:23] - Honoring Unworthy Parents
- [43:18] - God as the Final Authority

Study Guide

Bible Study Discussion Guide

Bible Reading:
- Exodus 20:12: "Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you."

Observation Questions:
1. What does the fifth commandment, "Honor your father and your mother," imply about the role of parents as authority figures in our lives? [00:08]
2. How does the sermon describe the impact of our early experiences with authority on our perception of authority throughout life? [03:59]
3. According to the sermon, what are the three qualities necessary for parents to use their authority wisely? [25:15]
4. How did Jesus exemplify honoring his mother during his crucifixion, as mentioned in the sermon? [17:16]

Interpretation Questions:
1. How does the commandment to honor one's parents extend beyond childhood into adulthood and old age, according to the sermon? [12:15]
2. In what ways does the sermon suggest that honoring unworthy parents can be approached with compassion and prayer? [41:59]
3. How does the sermon explain the relationship between authority and love, particularly in the context of parenting? [32:20]
4. What does the sermon suggest about the role of God as the ultimate authority and how this understanding can bring healing? [43:18]

Application Questions:
1. Reflect on your own experiences with authority figures in your life. How have these experiences shaped your current view of authority? [03:59]
2. Consider a situation where you find it challenging to honor an authority figure. How might you approach this situation with compassion and prayer? [41:59]
3. If you are a parent, how can you ensure that your use of authority is characterized by wisdom, sufficiency, and love? [25:15]
4. How can you actively honor your parents or other authority figures in your life, regardless of their flaws, as the sermon suggests? [07:18]
5. Think about a time when you felt pressured to make a faith decision. How can you ensure that your faith journey is genuine and not influenced by external pressures? [33:20]
6. How can you find comfort and healing in recognizing God as the perfect authority, especially if you have experienced flawed authority figures in your life? [43:18]
7. Identify one specific way you can show respect and care for an older person in your life this week, following the example of Jesus on the cross. [17:16]

Devotional

Day 1: The Foundation of Authority in Our Lives
Our first experiences with authority often come from our parents, shaping our lifelong perceptions of authority. If authority was used well in our early years, we tend to respect it; if not, we may resist it. This struggle with authority highlights the importance of strong family life for the well-being of society. A culture cannot thrive where respect for authority breaks down. Understanding this dynamic can help us navigate our relationships with authority figures throughout our lives. [03:59]

Hebrews 13:17 (ESV): "Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with groaning, for that would be of no advantage to you."

Reflection: Think about a current authority figure in your life. How has your past experience with authority shaped your relationship with them, and what steps can you take to foster a healthier dynamic?


Day 2: Honoring Beyond Worthiness
The commandment to honor our parents is not conditional on their being honorable. God places people in our lives whom we are called to honor, regardless of their flaws. This extends beyond childhood into adulthood and old age, where honoring parents involves listening to their counsel and caring for them. Jesus exemplified this on the cross, ensuring his mother's care even in his agony. This teaches us that honoring others is a reflection of our relationship with God, not just a response to their behavior. [07:18]

Ephesians 6:2-3 (ESV): "Honor your father and mother (this is the first commandment with a promise), that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land."

Reflection: Consider someone in your life who you find difficult to honor. What practical steps can you take today to show them respect and honor, despite their flaws?


Day 3: The Divine Role of Parenting
Parenting is a high calling, as parents represent God to their children. This requires wisdom, sufficiency, and love. Wisdom involves understanding each child's unique needs, sufficiency means not using children to fulfill our unmet needs, and love is about wooing rather than forcing. Authority without love is destructive, and we must be careful not to manipulate our children into faith decisions. This perspective challenges parents to reflect God's character in their parenting. [21:06]

Proverbs 22:6 (ESV): "Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it."

Reflection: If you are a parent, reflect on how you can better represent God's love and wisdom to your children. If you are not a parent, consider how you can support and encourage the parents in your community.


Day 4: Compassion for the Unworthy
For those with unworthy parents, honoring them involves compassion and prayer for their transformation. Healing begins when we look to God, who is the perfect authority—wise, sufficient, and loving. By focusing on God's perfect nature, we can find the strength to extend grace and compassion to those who have failed us. This process of healing and forgiveness is essential for our spiritual growth and well-being. [41:59]

Colossians 3:13 (ESV): "Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive."

Reflection: Identify a hurt from your past related to an authority figure. How can you begin to extend compassion and forgiveness to them, trusting in God's perfect authority?


Day 5: God as the Ultimate Authority
Our ultimate hope and healing come from recognizing that God is not like any flawed authority figures we may have encountered. He is the final authority, and his nature is love. By understanding God's perfect authority, we can find peace and assurance in our lives, knowing that He is in control and His intentions for us are good. This realization can transform our perspective on earthly authority and bring us closer to God. [43:18]

Isaiah 40:28-29 (ESV): "Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength."

Reflection: Reflect on an area of your life where you struggle to trust God's authority. What steps can you take to surrender this area to Him, trusting in His perfect love and wisdom?

Quotes

"Your first experience, my first experience of a person in Authority will tend to shape the way in which we relate to Authority afterwards. So if you saw Authority used well in your early years you will probably as a first instinct relate well to Authority and respect it. If however you saw Authority used badly in your first experience you may have a tendency to be suspicious of it to resist it and to shy away from it." [00:39:16]

"God does not allow us the luxury of choosing who we will honor he puts certain people in our way your parents your teachers your boss your president sometimes they may be easy to honor sometimes they will be very difficult but it is one of the major issues and therefore struggles of our lives and it is highly relevant not just for children but for all of us throughout the course of our lives and not just in family life." [00:44:38]

"Now obviously this commandment is not just for children it doesn't say honor your father and your mother when you're young it says honor your father and your mother so it's going to move on Beyond childhood and the second stage of course is in adult life and as you launch out on adult life the relationship with your parent obviously changes you're no longer under the obligation of obedience but God still calls us to give to our parents honor." [00:47:17]

"Think about this parents as the first authority figures in the life of a child you will play a huge role in shaping their knowledge and their understanding of God. The High Calling of Parenthood is that you stand in the place of God as far as your child is concerned God calls you to represent him in the life of your child that of course is the significance of the word father." [00:54:02]

"Now God has put parents in a position of authority and so obviously a key component of parenting well is to learn to use this Authority and that's true of course whether it be at home or in business or in the church you need to know how to use Authority effectively and the abuse of authority always leads to pain." [00:59:35]

"Authority without love you see Authority that moves outside of this boundary of love will always be destructive love Woos but it never forces. I find that a very very helpful distinction and a very obvious one once you see it love Woos but it never forces and this is so important it seems to me for all of us who have this High Calling of Christian parenting." [01:05:35]

"Ask God to give you compassion for them, pray that God will give them what they desperately lack, that's the spirit of Jesus, he has compassion and compassion keeps the door to repentance open and remember as you think about this that the healing for many deep wounds will begin when you look away from the feelings of your parents and up into the face of God." [01:11:12]

"Look to the god of the Bible, the God who hears the cries of his people, to Jesus as he gives himself in compassion on the cross, the final Authority in the universe, this is important every time we struggle with authority the final Authority in the universe belongs to the one who knows how to use it, he's all together wise, he is completely self-sufficient, and his very nature is love." [01:13:47]

"Respect for authority and authority well used is learned in the home and of course if it breaks down in the home obviously it follows that it will begin to break down with a national life that's why the command that says honor your father and your mother continues to say that you may live long in the land you notice that the point of that is simply this that a culture will not survive long where respect for authority breaks down." [00:46:39]

"Now it seems to me that this commandment then raises two very very important questions the first is how can I parent With Honor for all those who are called to Parenthood this great question obviously arises from the fifth commandment how can I be a parent who is worthy of honor and the second question that's running already in some of our minds is simply this how can I honor an unworthy parent and there are some unworthy parents." [00:58:50]

"Some folks just don't know how to love, some folks are crippled by their own unmet needs, some folks haven't begun to know wisdom that begins from knowing god, and some of us have pain because there is alienation because your parents are still in that position. Ask God to give you compassion for them, pray that God will give them what they desperately lack, that's the spirit of Jesus." [01:11:12]

"God is our wisdom, God is our sufficiency you see that's the beautiful thing about God it's not only wise he's sufficient I am who I am I don't need you he's not using his people as some kind of emotional crutch he's not dependent on us that's why he's able to love us freely, he is love, that is his very nature." [01:09:27]

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Transcript
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