Honey, I Shrunk The Kids | Derek J Howell | The Pointe Church Cocoa Beach FL

The call to reconciliation starts with a simple but painful truth: people often get “shrunk” long before anybody notices. The picture from Honey, I Shrunk the Kids shows a dad who accidentally shrinks his children with a machine, but the deeper issue is that families can shrink one another through neglect, frustration, busyness, and words that make someone feel less than they are. The ministry of reconciliation calls God’s people to be intentional with the people closest to them, because somebody always gets lost in the weeds when life gets crazy.

The contrast between the father of lies and the Father of lights exposes the voices that shape broken relationships. The father of lies says people are too far gone, too sinful, too damaged, and no longer worth the effort. The Father of lights says that Christ has paid the price, that people are loved, adopted, and born with purpose. Truth in love has to replace the kind of words that sound more like the enemy than the Father.

The story of Jacob and Esau shows what family drama looks like when sin, fear, and silence stretch across decades. Jacob schemed for Esau’s birthright, tricked his father for the blessing, and ran when Esau vowed to kill him. Twenty years passed with no coffee, no phone call, no attempt to work it out. When God called Jacob back home, Jacob faced the fear that the last word over that relationship might still be death.

Jacob’s fear shows that some broken things are beyond human effort. Gifts, strategy, and splitting the family into camps could not fix what Jacob had broken. The point is plain: the believer is called to the ministry of reconciliation, but not called to be the reconciler. God can restore what human hands cannot fix.

Jacob finally prayed, and God met him before Jacob met Esau. The God who softened Esau’s heart is still softening hearts that no person can reach. Twenty years of silence was not too long for God to restore, and the years the locusts have eaten are not beyond God’s power to redeem.

The waiting may not be wasted time. The waiting may be preparation for a new relationship, not just a return to the old one. The real question is whether the wounded person is preparing for war or preparing for the embrace. God’s people are called to pray, seek, love, leave the door open, and ask whether bitterness has made the heart unable to run when restoration finally walks up the driveway.

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Key Takeaways

• 1. Reconciliation is not control The call to reconciliation does not hand a person the power to fix another heart. Human effort can seek peace, speak truth, and leave the door open, but only God can restore what has been broken at the root. Control usually creates more damage because it tries to force in minutes what God may be forming over years. [44:25]
• 2. God softens unreachable hearts The heart no one can reach is still not beyond the reach of the Spirit. Lydia’s heart opened because God opened it, not because Paul’s words had magical force. Faithfulness means speaking truth and loving well while trusting God with the hidden work no one else can see. [52:36]
• 3. Waiting may be preparation Delay does not always mean nothing is happening. The waiting may be shaping both sides for a relationship that is not merely patched together, but made new. God may be preparing a changed son, a changed daughter, a changed spouse, or a changed heart ready to receive them. [59:56]
• 4. Prepare for the embrace The prodigal’s father was ready to run, not ready to rehearse the offense. A heart that keeps nursing revenge may miss the moment when mercy finally walks home. Restoration asks the wounded person to become the kind of person who can embrace without pretending the pain never happened. [60:28]
• 5. Truth must answer lies The father of lies speaks accusations over people and relationships, calling them worthless, hopeless, and too far gone. The Father of lights speaks purpose, love, adoption, and redemption. Reconciliation begins when those lies stop being repeated and truth is spoken over the person by name.
  
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Youtube Chapters

• [00:00] - Welcome
• [38:55] - Family Month and Bowling
• [39:48] - How Families Get Shrunk
• [41:27] - Father of Lies, Father of Lights
• [42:53] - What If Reconciliation Fails?
• [44:25] - The Fixer Is God
• [46:16] - Jacob and Esau’s Family Drama
• [49:18] - Jacob Fears Esau’s Army
• [51:17] - Lay Down the Burden
• [55:05] - Jacob Finally Prays
• [56:20] - Twenty Years Restored
• [59:24] - Preparing for the Embrace
• [62:24] - Is Jacob the One Changed?
• [65:18] - Pray, Seek, Love
• [67:14] - Speaking Truth Over Names

Bible Reading

Genesis 32:6-11
After delivering the message, the messengers returned to Jacob and reported, “We met your brother Esau and he is already on his way to meet you with an army of 400 men.” Jacob was terrified at the news, he divided his household along with the flocks and the herds and camels into two groups. He thought, “If Esau meets one group and attacks it, perhaps the other group can escape.” Then Jacob prayed, “Oh God of my grandfather Abraham and God of my father Isaac, oh Lord, you told me return to your own land and to your relatives and you promised me I will treat you kindly. I am not worthy of all the unfailing love and faithfulness that you have shown me, your servant. When I left home and crossed the Jordan River, I owned nothing except a walking stick. Now, my household fills two large camps. Oh Lord, please rescue me from the hand of my brother Esau. I am afraid that he is coming to attack me along with my wives and children.” [49:24]

2 Corinthians 5:18-20
All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God.

Luke 15:20
And he arose and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him.

Acts 16:14
One who heard us was a woman named Lydia, from the city of Thyatira, a seller of purple goods, who was a worshiper of God. The Lord opened her heart to pay attention to what was said by Paul.

Joel 2:25
I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten, the hopper, the destroyer, and the cutter, my great army, which I sent among you.

Observation questions

1. In Genesis 32:6-11, what did Jacob do when he heard that Esau was coming with 400 men, and what does his prayer reveal about his fear? [49:24]
2. In 2 Corinthians 5:18-20, what words are used to describe the believer’s role in broken relationships with God and with others?
3. In Acts 16:14, who opened Lydia’s heart, and what was Paul doing at the time?
4. What are some practical ways people can “shrink” someone close to them without even realizing it? [39:48]

Interpretation questions

1. 2 Corinthians 5 says believers have the ministry of reconciliation. How is that different from trying to control, force, or fix another person? [44:25]
2. Jacob tried gifts, planning, and dividing his household before he truly prayed. What does that reveal about how people often handle broken relationships before they surrender them to God? [55:05]
3. Acts 16:14 says the Lord opened Lydia’s heart. How does that shape the way a believer should think about a son, daughter, spouse, sibling, or friend who seems unreachable? [52:36]
4. Luke 15:20 shows a father ready to run and embrace. What does that picture suggest about the kind of heart God wants in someone who has been hurt deeply? [01:00:37]

Application questions

1. Is there someone in your life who has been “shrunk” by neglect, busyness, frustration, or careless words? What would it look like to value that person more intentionally this week? [40:25]
2. When a relationship feels broken, is the stronger temptation to fix it fast, to withdraw, or to keep talking until things get worse? What would it look like to do your part without trying to play God? [45:42]
3. Is there a relationship where you have been carrying a burden that was never yours to carry? What might it look like to lay that burden down while still choosing love, truth, and faithfulness? [51:40]
4. Has waiting made your heart softer or harder? In this season, does it feel more like preparing for war or preparing for the embrace? [59:24]
5. If the person who hurt you called, texted, or showed up tomorrow, what would come out first: embrace, distance, anger, suspicion, or revenge? What might that reveal about the condition of your heart right now? [01:01:56]
6. Are there lies you have been repeating over a person or over a relationship—words like hopeless, too far gone, worthless, or never changing? What truth needs to be spoken instead? [01:08:10]
7. What is one faithful next step you can take this week: pray by name, send a text, make a call, speak truth in love, or simply leave the door open? [01:05:18]