Healthy Relationships // Growing Right with God, Family & Community // Pastor Samuel Gordon

First of all, growing right with God, and then being in a good relationship with your family, and then in a good relationship that you are able to make a difference in a community in this region for the cause of Christ. The work of relationships, it never gets old. And the work in relationships, it just never stops. You always gotta work on the relationship. One thing I know for sure that no relationship can stay healthy on autopilot. Let me say that again. No relationship can stay healthy on autopilot. [00:03:25] (40 seconds)  #WorkOnRelationships

Your salvation is an individual matter. Amen. There's no group salvation going on. This was just between you and him. Nobody gonna speak on your behalf at the pearly gates. Amen. I don't care who your best friend is. They don't get to step up there next to you and say, I wanna vouch for them. Jesus gonna say, oh, bless their heart. That ain't how we roll up here, baby. Don't speak for him. So we need to check our heart. Am I leading from overflow? Am I leading from what God has poured into me, or am I leading toward burnout? [00:14:48] (39 seconds)  #OwnYourSalvation

My wife and I, we'd have a spare, and I go in my room, and she go in her room. I said, listen, Lord. I'm your servant. I'm the priest of the home. I'm the watchman on the wall. You need to go tell sister girl to help her understand that I'm right. Help her understand that I've laid out the how it needs to look. Help her understand. He said, Samuel, I got you. But I need to work on you first. I need to get you straight first, and then when I get you straight first, I need you to go in there and say, baby, I'm sorry. [00:18:01] (39 seconds)  #WorkOnYouFirst

God cares about the whole of you. God doesn't compartmentalize your life. He cares about your walk. He cares about your marriage. He cares about your parenting. He cares about your leadership. He cares about your commitment to this community. Romans twelve and eighteen says, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Strengthen your relationship with God. God is not mother, father, sister, brother standing in the need of prayer. It's me. I wanna be right with you. Invest intentionally at home. How about spaghetti feed, a fish fry? Invite the kids over. Grandkids, invite them over so you can build relationship. Tell stories. Show up fully in community because healthy relationships glorify God and bless people. [00:36:49] (53 seconds)  #GodCaresAboutAllOfYou

Action steps, if you're taking notes, guard your daily time with God like an appointment you cannot cancel. Now you know if you got an appointment down there in traffic court, you better show up. You know if you got an appointment with your doctor and it took you six months to even get that, you can't cancel that appointment. Treat it like you have to have that time with the Lord. Folks are calling and say, can you go to coffee, Starbucks, Peace Coffee? That can't get in front of your time designated with the Lord. [00:12:26] (35 seconds)  #GuardYourDailyTimeWithGod

God is saying he don't work that good with autopilot in your relationship. That you just put him on autopilot. You just say, okay. Here comes Sunday, so we're gonna come in and worship. Just hit autopilot. Come on. Pray. It's time to pray. You just hit that on autopilot. Are too many praying you because your show is getting ready to come on TV, you wanna hurry and get that prayer out the way, so you put that on autopilot. And God said, autopilot doesn't work for me nor does it work in your relationship. [00:04:35] (27 seconds)  #NoAutopilotWithGod

or some soup that we just go somewhere just to sit. Not in the house or a place of safety, but in a neutral place where just a cup of coffee and a cup of soup. And I'll say to her, how did I do this week? And she gets to say, well, I told you to take that garbage out and you forgot it, and you left them socks on the on your side of the bed that you didn't pick up. What kind of grades did they go? I'll give you a b plus. Okay. What can I improve on for next week? And she'll lay that out. And then it's her turn to ask me the question, how did I do this week? That's accountability. [00:21:25] (39 seconds)  #WeeklyAccountabilityCheck

Amen. You gotta ask each other, what do you want out of life? What are your aspirations? Don't think you just know it because you've been married for a long time. Ask her, time brings about a change. And what might have been a goal ten years ago, she or he may have changed that. That intimacy of having those kind of conversations, it makes it work. Pray with your wife and your spouse, not just for them. Ask yourself, am I nurturing my marriage or just maintaining it? There are folks who are saying I'm just maintaining a marriage. I've been done with it. I'm just here because the kids are still here. Soon as them kids get grown and going off to college, I'm out. Are you sowing a seed? Are you nurturing your marriage? Or are you just maintaining it? [00:23:07] (54 seconds)  #AskEachOtherAspirations

They just wanna know that you got their back. They just wanna know that you still love them when they just tell you some bad news that you just can't you gotta catch your breath. You gotta say, oh Jesus. But you gotta love on them. They're still your children. A biblical example. You know the story of the prodigal son. The father didn't stop loving. He didn't stop hoping. And when his son returned when we read between the line, a son returned, but there was a son that was already there. [00:26:28] (34 seconds)  #ForgiveLikeTheFather

The church isn't perfect because there's no perfect people. But it is powerful when love outweighs offenses. Some of the most meaningful moments in ministry weren't on the stage. They were in conversation, they were in prayers, they were in admonition and moments of mutual support. The early church in acts two, they prayed together. They served together. They grew together. Isolation weakens faith. Connections strengthens faith. Action steps, commit beyond attendance. Commit beyond just coming on Sunday. Serve with joy, not obligation. [00:34:24] (44 seconds)  #BelongDontJustAttend

There are people in a lot of relationships, but it's not healthy relationships. They're just in it because they can't do anything better. They're just in it because they're afraid to be by themselves. They're just in it because it was somebody else's idea, not their idea. You know, when they did the marriage ceremony, there's a piece that they took out. That says, if anybody here to have anything against this couple being married, speak now for holy peace. They took that out because there's a whole lot of folks be raising their hands, telling them, no. I don't think that's it. [00:02:39] (36 seconds)  #DontSettleInRelationships

But I've learned Come on. How to say, how to listen more. I've learned how to lecture less. I've learned that guiding without controlling. And sometimes our kids become the guinea pigs. We practice on them, and sometimes we say, I need to come back and say, I didn't get it right all the time. When you go back and say, that method might have worked for years ago, but doesn't work for this generation because they have questions. They think outside the box, and you got to be flexible enough so that you don't lose them and bring them close to you. Sometimes the greatest parenting moment happens when we admit that I don't have all the answers, but I'm walking with you. [00:25:41] (47 seconds)  #ListenMoreLectureLess

Church was never designed to be something just to attend. It was designed to be something that you belong to. When somebody said, what church do you belong to? Sometimes we have a tendency to say, I attend. That's a wrong word. They need to hear you say, I belong to. Belong means I take ownership. Belong means I'm a part of that community. Belong means I'm a part of the greater good for this church and the pastor and the leadership. I belong. Don't say nothing bad about my church. Yeah. Oh, we don't we don't have a problem. I belong. You take ownership. Yeah. [00:35:16] (44 seconds)  #IBelongNotJustAttend

I've learned over the years that God would often use relationship to expose what success sometimes can hide. Success can cover up insecurity. It can cover up pride, impatience, unresolved wounds. You can look strong on the outside and still struggle privately. But relationships don't let you hide for long. They reveal your character. They reveal your humility. They reveal your emotional maturity and your willingness to grow. [00:05:59] (41 seconds)  #RelationshipsRevealCharacter

Jesus didn't criticize Martha for her work and what her gift was, the gift of helps, but he corrected her priority. Mary chose presence. She chose being in the presence of Jesus over performance. And sometimes we get caught up in performance. And Jesus said, I just need your presence. We can get caught up in church work. And God said, I just need your presence. I want you to be present with me, not just on Sunday when we feel this anointing, but I need you to feel me on Monday and Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday and Friday and Saturday. I need you to get excited about who I am and who I am in your life. Some of us don't need a new assignment. We just need a renewed intimacy. [00:11:11] (56 seconds)  #PresenceNotPerformance

Parenting has taught me that leadership changes with seasons. What worked when my kids were little don't always work when they get older. Why? Because they are fearfully and wonderfully made. Why? Because they have a different personality, a different mindset. Why? Because they have a different gift set and what interests them, and one size don't fit all. I've had to learn that over the years. There comes a point when rules alone aren't enough. You need relationships. I come from old school. [00:24:18] (32 seconds)  #ParentingChangesWithSeasons

You know, those Teslas, they drive by themselves. And I've driven in one, and they said, take your hands off the wheel, and it'll just go. You just punch in, and it'll go wherever you punch in for it to go. But I keep my feet on the close to the brakes. Yeah. Come on. Because I don't trust that all the pilot stuff. I need to be able to take control when it's not going in the right direction. Just slam on the brakes. [00:04:08] (27 seconds)  #HandsOnTheWheel

He said, you're giving everything to everybody else that I just wanna give to you. I want it to be fresh with you before you give it to somebody else. And I was more concerned about getting it ready for somebody else and not letting it sink in for me. That's when I realized you can be effective in ministry, but still empty with God. Biblical example. You remember the story of Mary and Martha? [00:09:33] (31 seconds)  #BeFilledBeforeYouGive

Couples, you need to pray together, and if you don't, you need to start tonight. Praying together. Love grows when we stop keeping score and start extending grace. Sir. We are all flawed. We live in a sinful world. We're gonna make mistakes, and we need to have the grace to forgive and to say, God, help us to move forward. Schedule some intentional time. My wife and I, we'll schedule every week. We're gonna have a coffee [00:20:48] (36 seconds)  #PrayTogetherTonight