Guiding Questions for Wise Decisions and Love
Summary
In wrapping up our series, "Better Decisions, Fewer Regrets," we explore the profound connection between asking the right questions and making wise decisions. The journey through these questions is designed to lead us to a life with fewer regrets, not just for ourselves but for those around us. Our decisions impact others, and our regrets do too. The first question, the Integrity Question, challenges us to be honest with ourselves. We must confront the person in the mirror and ask, "Am I being honest with myself?" This honesty is the foundation for reaching where we truly want to be.
The second question, the Legacy Question, asks us to consider the story we want to tell. Every decision becomes a part of our narrative, and we should strive to be the hero, not the villain, in our own story. The third question, the Conscience Question, prompts us to pay attention to any tension we feel when making decisions. This tension often signals something important that we might be overlooking.
The fourth question, the Maturity Question, asks us to consider what is wise in light of our past, present, and future. It's about making decisions that are not just permissible but truly wise. Finally, we arrive at the Relationship Question: "What does love require of me?" This question is the most challenging because it demands that we prioritize others over ourselves. It calls us to love as Jesus loved, sacrificially and unconditionally.
Throughout Jesus' ministry, he hinted at a new way of living, one that transcended political and religious boundaries. His command to love one another as he loved us is the cornerstone of this new way. It's not just about adding another rule; it's about replacing old systems with a new ethic of love. This love is patient, kind, and never self-seeking. It doesn't keep score but always protects and trusts.
Asking what love requires of us should guide our actions and decisions in every relationship. It challenges us to put others first, to forgive, and to act with kindness and grace. This question is demanding, but it is the essence of following Jesus. It is the heart of the kingdom of God on earth.
Key Takeaways:
1. Integrity and Honesty: Being honest with ourselves is crucial for making wise decisions. We must confront our true motives and desires to lead ourselves effectively. This honesty is the foundation for reaching our goals and living without regret. [00:43]
2. Legacy and Storytelling: Every decision contributes to the story of our lives. We should aim to be the hero in our narrative, exercising self-control and making choices that we are proud to share. Our story is written one decision at a time. [01:26]
3. Attention to Tension: When making decisions, pay attention to any internal tension. This tension often signals something important that we might be overlooking. Pausing to consider this can prevent future regrets. [02:14]
4. Wisdom in Decision-Making: Not all permissible actions are wise. We must consider our past experiences, current circumstances, and future hopes to make truly wise decisions. Unwise choices often lead to regret. [02:43]
5. Love as the Guiding Principle: The question "What does love require of me?" should guide our actions in every relationship. This love is sacrificial and unconditional, modeled after Jesus' love for us. It challenges us to put others first and act with kindness and grace. [24:25]
Youtube Chapters:
- [00:00] - Welcome
- [00:08] - Introduction to Better Decisions
- [00:43] - The Integrity Question
- [01:26] - The Legacy Question
- [02:14] - The Conscience Question
- [02:43] - The Maturity Question
- [03:29] - The Relationship Question
- [05:06] - The Challenge of Clarity
- [08:07] - Jesus' New Command
- [10:06] - The Impact of Jesus' Words
- [13:27] - Paradigm Shift in Love
- [16:23] - Love as Jesus Loved
- [20:10] - Identifying as Jesus' Followers
- [24:25] - What Does Love Require of Me?
- [30:27] - The Demands of Love
Study Guide
Bible Study Discussion Guide
Bible Reading:
1. John 13:34-35 (NIV) - "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."
2. Galatians 5:22-23 (NIV) - "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control."
3. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NIV) - "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
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Observation Questions:
1. What is the significance of Jesus giving a "new command" in John 13:34-35, and how does it differ from previous commands? [15:11]
2. According to the sermon, what is the "Integrity Question," and why is it important for making wise decisions? [00:43]
3. How does the "Legacy Question" encourage us to think about the story we are creating with our decisions? [01:26]
4. What does the "Relationship Question" ask, and why is it considered the most challenging of the five questions discussed in the sermon? [24:25]
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Interpretation Questions:
1. In what ways does the new command to love one another as Jesus loved us challenge traditional views of love and relationships? [16:23]
2. How does the "Conscience Question" help us identify potential regrets before they happen, and what role does internal tension play in this process? [02:14]
3. Why might the "Maturity Question" be crucial for evaluating decisions in light of past experiences, current circumstances, and future hopes? [02:43]
4. How does the sermon suggest that love, as described in 1 Corinthians 13, should influence our daily interactions and decisions? [29:26]
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Application Questions:
1. Reflect on a recent decision you made. Did you ask yourself the "Integrity Question"? How might being more honest with yourself have changed the outcome? [00:43]
2. Consider the story you are currently writing with your life. What is one decision you can make this week to be the hero in your own story? [01:26]
3. Think of a situation where you felt internal tension about a decision. How can you pause and pay attention to that tension to avoid future regrets? [02:14]
4. Identify a relationship in your life where you struggle to apply the "Relationship Question." What specific action can you take to prioritize love in that relationship? [24:25]
5. Choose one aspect of the fruit of the Spirit from Galatians 5:22-23 to focus on this week. What specific action can you take to cultivate it in your interactions with others?
6. Reflect on a time when you were tempted to act out of self-interest. How can you apply the principles of love from 1 Corinthians 13 to respond differently next time? [29:26]
7. What does love require of you in a current conflict or challenging relationship? How can you take a step towards reconciliation or understanding this week? [31:31]
Devotional
Day 1: Integrity Begins with Self-Honesty
In the journey of making wise decisions, integrity starts with being honest with oneself. This honesty is not just about acknowledging the truth but confronting our true motives and desires. When we look in the mirror, we must ask ourselves, "Am I being honest with myself?" This question is foundational because it sets the stage for reaching our true goals and living a life without regret. By being truthful with ourselves, we can lead ourselves effectively and make decisions that align with our values and aspirations. [00:43]
"Whoever walks in integrity walks securely, but he who makes his ways crooked will be found out." (Proverbs 10:9, ESV)
Reflection: What is one area of your life where you might be avoiding the truth? How can you confront this with honesty today?
Day 2: Crafting a Legacy Through Decisions
Every decision we make contributes to the story of our lives. We are the authors of our narrative, and each choice we make is a chapter in our story. The Legacy Question encourages us to consider the story we want to tell and to strive to be the hero, not the villain, in our own narrative. By exercising self-control and making choices we are proud to share, we can craft a legacy that reflects our true values and aspirations. Our story is written one decision at a time, and we have the power to shape it. [01:26]
"Let your eyes look directly forward, and your gaze be straight before you. Ponder the path of your feet; then all your ways will be sure." (Proverbs 4:25-26, ESV)
Reflection: What is one decision you can make today that aligns with the legacy you want to leave behind?
Day 3: Heeding the Tension Within
When making decisions, it's crucial to pay attention to any internal tension we feel. This tension often signals something important that we might be overlooking. By pausing to consider this tension, we can prevent future regrets and make more informed choices. The Conscience Question prompts us to listen to our inner voice and to be mindful of the signals it sends. This awareness can guide us toward decisions that are not only wise but also aligned with our true values and beliefs. [02:14]
"Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones." (Proverbs 3:7-8, ESV)
Reflection: Think of a recent decision where you felt tension. What might this tension have been trying to tell you, and how can you address it now?
Day 4: Pursuing Wisdom Beyond Permissibility
Not all permissible actions are wise. The Maturity Question challenges us to consider what is truly wise in light of our past experiences, current circumstances, and future hopes. By reflecting on these aspects, we can make decisions that are not only permissible but truly wise. Unwise choices often lead to regret, so it's essential to pursue wisdom in our decision-making process. This pursuit requires discernment and a willingness to learn from our past while being mindful of our present and future. [02:43]
"Teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom." (Psalm 90:12, ESV)
Reflection: What is one decision you are facing where you need to seek wisdom beyond what is merely permissible?
Day 5: Love as the Ultimate Guide
The Relationship Question, "What does love require of me?" is the most challenging because it demands that we prioritize others over ourselves. This question calls us to love as Jesus loved, sacrificially and unconditionally. Throughout Jesus' ministry, he introduced a new way of living, one that transcended political and religious boundaries. His command to love one another as he loved us is the cornerstone of this new way. This love is patient, kind, and never self-seeking. It challenges us to put others first, to forgive, and to act with kindness and grace. [24:25]
"Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins." (1 Peter 4:8, ESV)
Reflection: Who is someone in your life that you can show sacrificial love to today, and what specific action can you take to demonstrate this love?
Quotes
The first question we explored was the integrity question. The integrity question. Am I being honest with myself? Am I being honest with myself really? You will never get to read where you want to be until you are honest about where you currently are. The most difficult person to lead is always the person in the mirror. [00:00:43]
The legacy question is, what story do I want to tell? When the decision that you're in the process of making right now, relational, financial, academic, professional. When the decision you're in the process of making right now, when it's nothing more than a story you tell, what story do you want to tell? Make it a story you're proud to tell. [00:01:26]
Is there a tension that deserves my attention? Is there a tension that deserves my attention? You're considering an option and you're thinking about doing something specific. You're about to pull the trigger on the decision and everybody's nodding and everything looks good on paper, but there's just something about it that doesn't seem right, something that you can't put your finger on. [00:02:14]
A decision, a decision can be not wrong and not wise at the same time. Unwise decisions, remember this, unwise decisions are gateway decisions. They lead to regret. In fact, your greatest regret, your greatest regret was preceded by a series of unwise decisions. How do I know that? Because it's true for all of us. [00:02:56]
Throughout Jesus' ministry, when you follow Jesus through the gospel, throughout his ministry, he was constantly hinting at the fact that something new was on the horizon, something designed to actually replace much of what was in place in first century Judaism. And while many people were hoping for political reform, Jesus had something entirely different in mind. [00:08:11]
A new command I give you; love one another as I have loved you, so you must love one another. Jesus knew all encompassing command was. Well, it was far less complicated than the prevailing system but it was far more demanding. There are no loopholes, no workarounds in this brand of love. It's why we avoid it. [00:23:22]
Our fifth question is this, what does love require of me? What does love require of me? This clarifying, and as I said earlier, terrifying question should stand guard over our consciences. It should serve as a guide, a signpost, a compass as we navigate the complexities of relationships. It should inform how we date, how we parent, how we boss. [00:24:25]
If you're a Christian, it crushes that insipid justification that we all grew up using. But the Bible doesn't say there's anything wrong with, right? This question closes all those loopholes. In fact, it exposes our hypocrisy. It stands as judge and jury. It's so simple, but it is so inescapably demanding and it intersects with every imaginable relational scenario. [00:25:14]
When unsure of what to say or do, ask what does love require of you. And then do unto others as your heavenly Father through Christ has done unto you. He did what was best for us. We are in turn to do what's best for others. We are to love as we have been loved. And when we fall short, we're to own it quickly. [00:26:06]
When it comes to relationships, God will always nudge you. The Spirit of God will always nudge you in the direction of kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control. When you're tempted, when you're tempted to try to control someone else, Paul says the spirit of God is going to nudge you in the direction of self-control. [00:27:28]
Love never treats another person dishonorably, disgracefully, or indecently. Again, love never treats another person, dishonorably, disgracefully, or indecently. One more time. Love never treats another person dishonorably, disgracefully, or indecently because Jesus never treated another person, including you, dishonorably, disgracefully, or indecently. [00:28:53]
Before you react to someone, before you over respond to someone, before you remind them of their past, before you get out of the car and go into the house to straighten everybody out, before you walk into his or her office, as you're contemplating that invitation, before you decide, ask, what does love require of me? [00:31:03]
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