Guiding Principles for Choosing a Life Partner

 

Summary

Loving God and loving others are the two greatest commandments that Jesus emphasized in Matthew 22:37-40. These commandments form the foundation of our relationships, both with God and with each other. Our series, "It's Complicated," delves into the complexities of these relationships, especially focusing on marriage and choosing a life partner. The decision to marry and whom to marry is one of the most significant choices we make, second only to our relationship with God. Unfortunately, many marriages end in divorce because people lack guidance on choosing the right spouse. This message aims to provide principles and guidelines to help you find God's best for you and maintain a healthy marriage.

God does not choose your spouse for you; rather, He provides principles to guide you in making that choice. These principles are not only applicable to marriage but also to other major life decisions. God speaks to us through His Word, the Bible, which serves as our guidebook. He also communicates through the Holy Spirit, circumstances, common sense, and the advice of mature Christians. These methods help us discern God's will and make wise decisions.

Spiritual compatibility is crucial in a marriage. As believers, we are called to be united with someone who shares our faith and commitment to Christ. This spiritual oneness aligns our lives with God's purpose and brings unity to our marriage. Additionally, life purpose compatibility is essential. We must ensure that our life goals and directions align with those of our partner. Personal compatibility, while not as critical as spiritual and life purpose compatibility, can make the marriage journey smoother.

Marriage requires change and sacrifice. Both partners must be willing to adjust and grow together. Understanding each other's background, communication style, and conflict resolution methods is vital. It's also important to establish boundaries with in-laws and maintain independence as a new family unit. Lastly, sexual intimacy is reserved for marriage, as living together before marriage often leads to higher divorce rates.

Key Takeaways:

- The Foundation of Love: Loving God with all your heart, soul, and mind, and loving your neighbor as yourself, are the core principles that should guide all relationships. These commandments simplify the complexities of life and relationships, providing a clear path to follow. [01:13]

- God's Guidance in Decision-Making: God provides guidance through His Word, the Holy Spirit, circumstances, common sense, and mature Christian counsel. These methods help us discern His will and make wise decisions, especially in choosing a life partner. [07:53]

- Spiritual Compatibility in Marriage: Spiritual oneness with a believer is essential for a successful marriage. Being united in faith aligns your life with God's purpose and brings harmony to your relationship. [32:16]

- Life Purpose Compatibility: Ensuring that your life goals and directions align with those of your partner is crucial. This compatibility allows you to walk together in unity and fulfill God's purpose for your lives. [40:19]

- The Importance of Change and Sacrifice: Marriage requires both partners to be willing to change and make sacrifices for each other. Understanding each other's background and communication style is vital for a healthy relationship. [43:48]

Youtube Chapters:

[00:00] - Welcome
[01:13] - The Greatest Commandments
[04:15] - The Importance of Choosing Wisely
[05:23] - Guidelines for Finding God's Best
[07:53] - God's Methods of Guidance
[11:33] - The Role of the Bible
[12:58] - The Holy Spirit's Guidance
[14:50] - Circumstances and God's Providence
[16:50] - Using Common Sense
[18:06] - Seeking Wise Counsel
[23:29] - The Myth of the Perfect Spouse
[26:46] - Real-Life Marriage Stories
[32:16] - Spiritual Compatibility
[40:19] - Life Purpose Compatibility
[43:48] - The Necessity of Change and Sacrifice
[51:07] - Practical Advice for Singles
[52:27] - Closing Prayer

Study Guide

### Bible Study Discussion Guide

#### Bible Reading
- Matthew 22:37-40
- Proverbs 3:6
- 2 Corinthians 6:14

#### Observation Questions
1. What are the two greatest commandments that Jesus emphasizes in Matthew 22:37-40, and how do they form the foundation of our relationships? [01:13]
2. According to the sermon, what are some of the reasons why many marriages end in divorce? [04:15]
3. How does the sermon describe the role of the Holy Spirit in guiding us to make wise decisions, especially in choosing a life partner? [12:58]
4. What does the sermon say about the myth of the "perfect spouse" and how does it relate to God's guidance in choosing a partner? [23:29]

#### Interpretation Questions
1. How does spiritual compatibility contribute to a successful marriage, according to the sermon? [32:16]
2. In what ways does the sermon suggest that life purpose compatibility is crucial for a marriage? [40:19]
3. How does the sermon explain the importance of change and sacrifice in marriage, and what are some practical examples given? [43:48]
4. What does the sermon suggest about the role of common sense and mature Christian counsel in making major life decisions? [18:06]

#### Application Questions
1. Reflect on your current relationships. How can you apply the principle of loving God and loving others more fully in these relationships? [01:13]
2. If you are considering marriage, how can you ensure that you and your partner are spiritually compatible? What steps can you take to align your spiritual goals? [32:16]
3. Think about a major decision you are facing. How can you incorporate the guidance methods mentioned in the sermon, such as the Bible, the Holy Spirit, and wise counsel, into your decision-making process? [07:53]
4. In what ways can you work on aligning your life purpose with your partner's, or if single, how can you prepare for this alignment in a future relationship? [40:19]
5. Consider a recent conflict in your marriage or a close relationship. How can you apply the sermon’s advice on change and sacrifice to resolve it? [43:48]
6. How can you establish healthy boundaries with in-laws or extended family to maintain independence as a new family unit? [44:58]
7. If you are single, what practical steps can you take to prepare for a future marriage, based on the principles discussed in the sermon? [51:07]

Devotional

Day 1: The Foundation of Love
Loving God and loving others are the two greatest commandments that Jesus emphasized in Matthew 22:37-40. These commandments form the foundation of our relationships, both with God and with each other. By loving God with all our heart, soul, and mind, we align ourselves with His will and purpose. This love extends to our neighbors, simplifying the complexities of life and relationships, and providing a clear path to follow. When we prioritize these commandments, we create a strong foundation for all our relationships, including marriage, friendships, and community interactions. [01:13]

"And he said to him, 'You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.'" (Matthew 22:37-39, ESV)

Reflection: Who in your life needs to experience God's love through you today, and how can you practically show them this love?


Day 2: God's Guidance in Decision-Making
God provides guidance through His Word, the Holy Spirit, circumstances, common sense, and mature Christian counsel. These methods help us discern His will and make wise decisions, especially in choosing a life partner. The Bible serves as our guidebook, offering timeless wisdom and principles. The Holy Spirit speaks to our hearts, providing peace and conviction. Circumstances often reveal God's providence, while common sense and wise counsel from mature Christians offer practical insights. By utilizing these resources, we can navigate life's decisions with confidence and clarity. [07:53]

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths." (Proverbs 3:5-6, ESV)

Reflection: What decision are you currently facing where you need to seek God's guidance, and which of His methods of guidance can you lean into more?


Day 3: Spiritual Compatibility in Marriage
Spiritual compatibility is crucial in a marriage. As believers, we are called to be united with someone who shares our faith and commitment to Christ. This spiritual oneness aligns our lives with God's purpose and brings unity to our marriage. When both partners are committed to growing in their faith, they can support and encourage each other in their spiritual journeys. This shared faith becomes a source of strength and resilience, helping couples navigate challenges and grow closer to God and each other. [32:16]

"Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?" (2 Corinthians 6:14, ESV)

Reflection: How can you and your spouse or future partner cultivate spiritual oneness in your relationship today?


Day 4: Life Purpose Compatibility
Ensuring that your life goals and directions align with those of your partner is crucial. This compatibility allows you to walk together in unity and fulfill God's purpose for your lives. When both partners share a common vision and purpose, they can support each other's dreams and aspirations. This alignment creates a sense of partnership and teamwork, enabling couples to face life's challenges together and pursue their God-given calling with passion and determination. [40:19]

"Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?" (Amos 3:3, ESV)

Reflection: What are your life goals, and how do they align with those of your partner or future partner?


Day 5: The Importance of Change and Sacrifice
Marriage requires both partners to be willing to change and make sacrifices for each other. Understanding each other's background and communication style is vital for a healthy relationship. Change and sacrifice are essential components of a thriving marriage, as they demonstrate love and commitment. By being open to growth and willing to put the needs of your partner above your own, you create a strong and lasting bond. This willingness to adapt and evolve together fosters a deep sense of connection and mutual respect. [43:48]

"Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others." (Philippians 2:3-4, ESV)

Reflection: In what specific ways can you practice change and sacrifice in your relationship today?

Quotes



He said, all the law and the prophets hang on these two commandments. So if you want to summarize the Bible. If you want to put it in. In summary, he said, it's basically down to these two things. Love God with all your heart, soul and mind and love your neighbor as yourself. So let's pray before we dive into this message. Father, we thank you today. [00:02:17] (25 seconds)


A lot of us have heard this statement before and I believe there's truth to all of it that your decision will determine your destiny and there's nowhere I I believe that it's more important, or there's no word that I think is more important than your relationship with God. What you decide about Christ will determine eternity, will determine your soul. [00:03:41] (27 seconds)


In fact, Romans 8, 28 said, God causes everything to work together for the good of those that love God and are called according to his purpose. So let me just say this. There are providential situations. And encounters where God providence caused us to be there, to talk to that person at that time, at that moment. A lot of people call it luck or coincidence, but I'm going to say God put it there. [00:14:33] (32 seconds)


And then the third one is more of maybe something I recommend if you're going to choose someone to be your husband or wife. Number one, write this down. If you want God's best for your life in a marriage or in a marriage partner, you must have spiritual compatibility, compatibility. In other words, God is absolutely clear about this, that you must be in the same wavelength spiritually in order to have oneness in Christ. [00:32:16] (31 seconds)


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Transcript
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