Grace, Redemption, and the Journey of Faith

Summary

From the earliest days of childhood, God’s presence and calling have been unmistakable, even as life’s journey has taken me through seasons of faith, confusion, bitterness, and restoration. Growing up in humble circumstances, I was surrounded by the church, Christian education, and the influence of faithful leaders. Yet, even in those formative years, insecurities and questions about identity and purpose began to take root. God’s Spirit was real to me, and I experienced His power and guidance, but I also learned that following Him is not a straight path—it’s a process of surrender, growth, and sometimes wrestling with deep disappointments.

As I moved into adulthood, I felt a strong call to ministry, but doors didn’t open as I expected. I faced discouragement from church leaders who doubted my calling, and I wrestled with the pain of spiritual authority misused. These wounds, compounded by personal failures and unmet expectations, led me into a long season of bitterness and running from God. I tried to fill the void with achievement, military service, and eventually, self-destructive habits. Even after surviving a near-fatal injury in combat—a clear act of God’s mercy—I remained distant, numbing myself with alcohol and anger.

Yet, God’s faithfulness never wavered. Through the darkest years, He preserved my life and gently drew me back, not because of my worthiness, but because of His relentless grace. The stories of Samson, Peter, and Rahab remind us that God’s call is not based on our perfection, pedigree, or performance. He chooses the humble, the broken, and even the failed, to display His power and love. Like Samson, who was used by God despite his failures, or Peter, who found restoration after denying Christ, our hope is not in our ability to remain faithful, but in God’s ability to redeem and restore.

Ultimately, the journey is about surrendering to God’s call, maturing in love, and learning to serve others with humility. Even when we feel disqualified or sidelined, God invites us to participate in His work—not by our strength, but by faith in His grace. Our lives become testimonies of His faithfulness, and our weaknesses become the very places where His power is made perfect.

Key Takeaways

- God’s Calling Is Rooted in Grace, Not Performance
God does not choose us based on our background, abilities, or even our faithfulness. He looks for humble hearts willing to surrender, just as He chose Samson’s barren mother and used unlikely people throughout Scripture. Our failures and limitations do not disqualify us from His purposes; in fact, they often become the stage for His grace to shine most brightly. [01:38:38]

- The Wounds of Leadership and Community Can Shape Us, But Don’t Define Us
Experiences of disappointment, betrayal, or discouragement from spiritual leaders can leave deep scars. These wounds can lead to bitterness and even cause us to walk away from God for a season. Yet, God’s faithfulness persists beyond human failure, and He patiently waits to restore us, teaching us to trust Him above all human authority. [01:18:42]

- Bitterness and Numbness Are Real, But Not the End of the Story
Long seasons of pain, disappointment, or self-destructive habits can leave us numb and hopeless. Even when we feel emotionally dead or have given up on ourselves, God’s mercy can break through. He is able to restore what has been lost, heal our hearts, and bring us back to life, no matter how far we have wandered. [01:19:55]

- Faith Is the Bridge Between Weakness and God’s Power
The heroes of faith in Scripture were not perfect—they were often deeply flawed. What set them apart was their willingness to trust God’s grace and act in faith, even after failure. Our own stories are written “by faith,” as we choose to believe that God’s promises and forgiveness are greater than our past. [01:48:44]

- True Service Is Found in Humility and Helping Others Soar
God calls us not to compete or compare, but to serve with humility—sometimes simply by helping others fulfill their calling. Like the robot in the story, our greatest impact may come not from our own achievements, but from lifting others up and rejoicing as they “fly.” This is the heart of Christ: to give ourselves away for the sake of others, trusting that God sees and rewards every act of love. [01:45:46]

Youtube Chapters

[00:00] - Welcome
[58:55] - Early Childhood and First Encounters with God
[59:52] - Growing in Faith and Youth Group Experiences
[01:01:30] - High School, Sports, and God’s Presence
[01:02:47] - Answered Prayer and Mission Trips
[01:04:18] - Sensing God’s Call to Ministry
[01:05:17] - God’s Conviction and Unresolved Issues
[01:06:23] - College Decisions and Disappointments
[01:08:10] - Searching for Purpose and Spiritual Dryness
[01:10:42] - Starting and Ending a Church Plant
[01:12:48] - Leadership Wounds and Growing Bitterness
[01:18:42] - Walking Away from Church and God
[01:21:41] - Military Service and Near-Death Experience
[01:28:38] - God’s Mercy in Survival
[01:31:55] - Post-Military Struggles and Addiction
[01:36:08] - God’s Grace in Scripture: Samson, Peter, and Rahab
[01:45:46] - The Wild Robot: Serving Others with Humility
[01:48:44] - By Faith: God’s Power in Our Weakness
[01:50:20] - Closing Prayer and Blessing

Study Guide

Small Group Bible Study Guide: God’s Calling, Grace, and Restoration

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### Bible Reading

1. Judges 13:1-25 (The calling and birth of Samson)
2. Matthew 26:69-75 (Peter denies Jesus and weeps bitterly)
3. Hebrews 11:31-34 (“By faith” – Rahab, Samson, and others who were used by God despite weakness)

---

### Observation Questions

1. In Judges 13, who did God choose to begin Israel’s deliverance, and what was unusual about his family background?
*(see [01:36:35])*

2. According to Matthew 26, how did Peter respond when people accused him of being with Jesus? What was his emotional reaction after the rooster crowed?
*(see [01:41:12])*

3. In Hebrews 11, what phrase is repeated to describe the actions of the people God used, and what kinds of people are included in this list?
*(see [01:48:44])*

4. In the sermon, what were some of the ways the speaker tried to fill the void after walking away from God?
*(see [01:31:55])*

---

### Interpretation Questions

1. Why do you think God chose Samson’s barren mother to be the starting point for Israel’s deliverance? What does this say about how God chooses people?
*(see [01:38:38])*

2. Both Peter and Judas felt deep remorse after failing Jesus, but their responses were very different. What made the difference in their stories?
*(see [01:43:33])*

3. The sermon mentions that wounds from spiritual leaders and community can shape us, but don’t have to define us. How does the story of Peter’s restoration show this?
*(see [01:42:15])*

4. The “heroes of faith” in Hebrews 11 were not perfect. According to the sermon, what set them apart and allowed God to use them?
*(see [01:48:44])*

---

### Application Questions

1. The sermon says God’s calling is rooted in grace, not performance. Are there areas in your life where you feel disqualified or “not good enough” for God to use you? How might God want to use you anyway?
*(see [01:38:38])*

2. Have you ever experienced disappointment, betrayal, or discouragement from church leaders or other Christians? How did it affect your faith? What would it look like to trust God above human authority in those situations?
*(see [01:18:42])*

3. The speaker described a long season of bitterness and numbness, trying to fill the emptiness with achievement, military service, and self-destructive habits. Are there things you turn to when you feel distant from God? What would it look like to let God’s mercy break through in those places?
*(see [01:31:55])*

4. Peter’s story shows that failure is not the end if we turn back to Jesus. Is there a failure or regret in your life that you need to bring to God for forgiveness and restoration?
*(see [01:42:15])*

5. The “Wild Robot” story in the sermon was about serving others with humility, even if it means helping them “fly” while you stay on the ground. Who in your life could you help or encourage this week, even if it means putting their needs or calling ahead of your own?
*(see [01:45:46])*

6. The sermon says our weaknesses are the very places where God’s power is made perfect. Can you think of a weakness or struggle in your life that God might want to use for His glory?
*(see [01:48:44])*

7. The speaker shared that God’s faithfulness never wavered, even during years of running away. Looking back, can you see ways God has been faithful to you, even when you weren’t seeking Him? How does that encourage you today?
*(see [01:28:38])*

---

Closing Prayer Suggestion:
Thank God for His relentless grace and faithfulness. Ask Him to help you surrender your weaknesses, disappointments, and failures to Him, and to use your life as a testimony of His power and love.

Devotional

Day 1: God’s Calling Is Not Limited by Our Circumstances
God chooses and uses people regardless of their background, status, or perceived limitations. Even when life seems to present insurmountable obstacles—like barrenness, poverty, or lack of influence—God’s call and purpose remain steadfast. He looks for humble hearts willing to trust Him, not for those who appear qualified by worldly standards. Just as God chose Manoah’s barren wife to bear Samson, He delights in working through the impossible to display His power and faithfulness. If you feel overlooked or unqualified, remember that God’s calling is not hindered by your circumstances; He is able to do more than you can imagine when you surrender to Him. [01:38:38]

Judges 13:1-5 (ESV)
And the people of Israel again did what was evil in the sight of the Lord, so the Lord gave them into the hand of the Philistines for forty years. There was a certain man of Zorah, of the tribe of the Danites, whose name was Manoah. And his wife was barren and had no children. And the angel of the Lord appeared to the woman and said to her, “Behold, you are barren and have not borne children, but you shall conceive and bear a son. Therefore be careful and drink no wine or strong drink, and eat nothing unclean, for behold, you shall conceive and bear a son. No razor shall come upon his head, for the child shall be a Nazirite to God from the womb, and he shall begin to save Israel from the hand of the Philistines.”

Reflection: Where in your life do you feel disqualified or overlooked? How might God be inviting you to trust Him with those very places today?


Day 2: God’s Faithfulness Remains Even When We Are Unfaithful
God’s grace and faithfulness persist even when we fall short, make mistakes, or walk away from Him. The story of Samson shows that despite his failures and unfaithfulness, God did not abandon him. Even after Samson’s greatest defeat, God restored his strength and used him mightily. No matter how far you feel you’ve strayed or how many times you’ve failed, God’s faithfulness is greater than your shortcomings. He is always ready to restore and use you for His purposes when you turn back to Him. [01:41:12]

Judges 16:28-30 (ESV)
Then Samson called to the Lord and said, “O Lord God, please remember me and please strengthen me only this once, O God, that I may be avenged on the Philistines for my two eyes.” And Samson grasped the two middle pillars on which the house rested, and he leaned his weight against them, his right hand on the one and his left hand on the other. And Samson said, “Let me die with the Philistines.” Then he bowed with all his strength, and the house fell upon the lords and upon all the people who were in it. So the dead whom he killed at his death were more than those whom he had killed during his life.

Reflection: Is there an area where you feel you’ve failed God? What would it look like to ask Him for restoration and strength today?


Day 3: The Difference Between Despair and Hope Is Knowing God’s Grace
Both Peter and Judas experienced deep remorse after betraying Jesus, but their responses were drastically different. Peter, knowing the heart of Jesus, turned toward grace and was restored, while Judas, overwhelmed by guilt and lacking hope, gave in to despair. The difference lies in understanding and receiving God’s forgiveness. When you stumble, remember that Jesus offers grace and restoration, not condemnation. Let your failures lead you back to Him, trusting that His mercy is greater than your mistakes. [01:43:33]

Matthew 26:69-75; 27:3-5 (ESV)
Now Peter was sitting outside in the courtyard. And a servant girl came up to him and said, “You also were with Jesus the Galilean.” But he denied it before them all, saying, “I do not know what you mean.” And when he went out to the entrance, another servant girl saw him, and she said to the bystanders, “This man was with Jesus of Nazareth.” And again he denied it with an oath: “I do not know the man.” After a little while the bystanders came up and said to Peter, “Certainly you too are one of them, for your accent betrays you.” Then he began to invoke a curse on himself and to swear, “I do not know the man.” And immediately the rooster crowed. And Peter remembered the saying of Jesus, “Before the rooster crows, you will deny me three times.” And he went out and wept bitterly.
When Judas, his betrayer, saw that Jesus was condemned, he changed his mind and brought back the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and the elders, saying, “I have sinned by betraying innocent blood.” They said, “What is that to us? See to it yourself.” And throwing down the pieces of silver into the temple, he departed, and he went and hanged himself.

Reflection: When you feel weighed down by guilt, do you turn toward God’s grace or away from it? How can you choose hope and restoration today?


Day 4: True Service Is Found in Humility and Giving Yourself Away
God calls us to serve others with humility, not seeking recognition or comparing ourselves to others. Like the robot in the story, we are called to help others “fly,” even if it means running alongside them and giving ourselves away. True greatness in God’s kingdom is found in selfless service, not in striving for our own advancement. When you serve with humility, you reflect the heart of Christ and become a source of encouragement and strength to those around you. [01:47:22]

Philippians 2:3-4 (ESV)
Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.

Reflection: Who is someone you can encourage or serve today, not for your own recognition, but simply to help them “fly”?


Day 5: By Faith, God Turns Weakness into Strength
Throughout history, God has used ordinary, flawed people to accomplish extraordinary things by faith. The “heroes” of Hebrews 11 were not perfect, but they trusted God and acted in faith, and He turned their weaknesses into strength. No matter your past or present struggles, God invites you to trust Him and step out in faith. His grace is sufficient, and He delights in using those who depend on Him. Believe that by faith, God can do great things through you, turning your weakness into His strength. [01:48:44]

Hebrews 11:31-34 (ESV)
By faith Rahab the prostitute did not perish with those who were disobedient, because she had given a friendly welcome to the spies. And what more shall I say? For time would fail me to tell of Gideon, Barak, Samson, Jephthah, of David and Samuel and the prophets—who through faith conquered kingdoms, enforced justice, obtained promises, stopped the mouths of lions, quenched the power of fire, escaped the edge of the sword, were made strong out of weakness, became mighty in war, put foreign armies to flight.

Reflection: What is one area of weakness or struggle in your life that you can bring to God in faith, trusting Him to turn it into strength?

Quotes

I would carry my Bible to, at Everett Community College. I would witness people at Everett Community College. There was not a lot of fruit that I saw from doing it, but at the same time it's a good thing to do those things. [01:09:41] (19 seconds) Edit Clip

When my parents told me that I got shot in the head, I knew that God had saved me again. Because this wasn't the first time during that period of time that I was not following him, where I knew in a specific situation that God had done something for me that no one else could. He was being faithful to me, even though I could have cared less about him. [01:28:58] (23 seconds) Edit Clip

Because what the Bible is are examples of people that lived before us. And God, in his great grace, because that God is a God of incredible grace. He's a God of incredible forgiveness. He's a God of great faithfulness. This is what he did for these people. [01:36:11] (20 seconds) Edit Clip

This is a man who visited a prostitute and also had a relationship with a woman named Rahab, and they were not married. And this was a man who believed in God. He had faith in God. He had a relationship with God. And that is why God used him for these things. He did not forget him. He was faithful to him, even when Samson was not being faithful to God. [01:41:23] (25 seconds) Edit Clip

Peter knew Jesus. He knew Jesus was a God of forgiveness. He knew when Jesus prophesied over him that you will deny me three times before the rooster crows. He knew that his time was not done. Jesus cared. And so he looked to the grace of Jesus Christ, and he said, God, forgive me. I am a sinner. I am worthless before you, but because of your grace, I can be incredible before you. [01:43:13] (26 seconds) Edit Clip

There was no sense of the cross. There was no sense of grace. It was all you have sinned. Get away from us. It's on you. And when Judas heard that, it scarred him in his heart and he went out and he ended his life. It was over. It was done. It was sad beyond belief. Jesus did not want Judas to kill himself, to give up on everything, to end his life, and he did. [01:44:01] (30 seconds) Edit Clip

By faith. That is the word of God. It is by faith that we do all things. It doesn't matter who we were or what we've done. His grace is sufficient for us. We need to believe in the grace of God. We need to believe in the resurrection. Because by that, it is the truth that we can do all things. [01:48:54] (20 seconds) Edit Clip

Who through faith conquered kingdoms, administered justice, and gained what was promised, who shut the mouths of lions, quenched the fury of flames, and escaped the edge of the sword, whose weakness was turned to strength, and who became powerful in battle, and routed foreign armies. [01:49:35] (21 seconds) Edit Clip