Grace and Truth in Marriage and Relationships
Summary
In my recent sermon, I delved into the complex and sensitive topics of marriage, divorce, and remarriage, drawing from a systematic theological approach to Scripture. I emphasized that marriage is a divine institution, mirroring God's covenantal relationship with us. Despite our unfaithfulness, God remains steadfast in His love, exemplified by Christ's sacrificial love for the church. This sets a high standard for husbands to love their wives self-sacrificially and for wives to willingly submit to such love, reflecting our submission to Christ.
I addressed the practical aspects of marriage as outlined in 1 Corinthians 7, where Paul speaks to various marital situations. He advises that marriage is good for preventing sexual immorality and that spouses should fulfill their marital duties to each other. However, Paul also acknowledges that singleness can be advantageous for serving the Lord without distraction, though he does not mandate it for everyone.
For those married, Paul's guidance is clear: avoid divorce. If divorce occurs, the ideal is to remain unmarried or seek reconciliation. Yet, there are exceptions where divorce may be permissible, such as in cases of adultery, abandonment, or abuse. I stressed that in such situations, individuals are free and should not carry the burden of guilt or shame, as God's grace is sufficient for all sins.
I also tackled the issue of being married to an unbeliever. If the unbelieving spouse consents to stay, the believer is called to remain in the marriage, potentially sanctifying the unbelieving spouse and children. However, if the unbeliever departs, the believer is not bound and is free from the marriage covenant.
Throughout the sermon, I urged the church to practice grace, mercy, love, and forgiveness, not only in matters of marriage but in all aspects of life. I reminded everyone that we are all equal in God's eyes, regardless of our marital status, and that our ultimate goal is to serve the Lord faithfully in whatever circumstances we find ourselves.
Key Takeaways:
- Marriage is a reflection of God's unwavering covenant with us, and as such, it should be entered into and maintained with a deep sense of commitment and self-sacrificial love. This divine institution is not just a social contract but a spiritual bond that mirrors the steadfast love Christ has for His church. [01:00:01]
- Singleness, whether by choice or circumstance, is not a lesser state but an opportunity for undivided devotion to God. Paul's teachings remind us that our identity and worth are not tied to our marital status but to our relationship with Christ. The church must honor and support singles as they serve the Lord. [01:16:53]
- Divorce is a complex issue, and while the church upholds the sanctity of marriage, it must also extend grace and understanding to those who have experienced divorce due to circumstances like adultery, abandonment, or abuse. The church should be a place of healing and redemption, not judgment. [01:12:52]
- Believers married to unbelievers have a unique ministry within their marriage. They are called to love and witness to their spouse, potentially leading to the sanctification of their household. However, if an unbelieving spouse chooses to leave, the believer is released from the marital bond. [01:29:20]
- Forgiveness and grace are central to the Christian life, and this extends to all areas, including marriage. We must allow God's forgiveness to free us from past mistakes and regrets, and we should extend that same forgiveness to others, reflecting the grace we have received through Christ. [01:43:11]
Study Guide
### Bible Study Discussion Guide
#### Bible Reading
1. 1 Corinthians 7:1-16, 25-40 - This passage addresses various aspects of marriage, singleness, and divorce, providing practical guidance for believers in different marital situations.
2. Ephesians 5:25-33 - This passage emphasizes the self-sacrificial love husbands should have for their wives, mirroring Christ's love for the church.
3. Matthew 19:3-9 - Jesus' teaching on marriage and divorce, highlighting the sanctity of marriage and the conditions under which divorce is permissible.
#### Observation Questions
1. According to 1 Corinthians 7, what reasons does Paul give for why marriage is beneficial? ([01:04:45])
2. In Ephesians 5, how are husbands instructed to love their wives, and what is the comparison made? ([01:01:12])
3. What does Jesus say about the permanence of marriage in Matthew 19, and what exceptions does He provide for divorce? ([01:02:57])
4. How does Paul address the situation of a believer married to an unbeliever in 1 Corinthians 7? ([01:06:31])
#### Interpretation Questions
1. Why does Paul suggest that singleness can be advantageous for serving the Lord, according to 1 Corinthians 7? How does this align with his overall message about marriage? ([01:16:53])
2. How does the concept of self-sacrificial love in Ephesians 5 challenge the traditional views of marital roles? What implications does this have for both husbands and wives? ([01:01:12])
3. In Matthew 19, Jesus emphasizes the sanctity of marriage. How does this teaching influence the church's stance on divorce and remarriage? ([01:02:57])
4. Paul mentions that a believing spouse can sanctify an unbelieving spouse and their children. What does this mean, and how might this affect a believer's approach to their marriage with an unbeliever? ([01:06:31])
#### Application Questions
1. Reflect on your own marriage or relationships. How can you better embody the self-sacrificial love described in Ephesians 5? What specific actions can you take this week to show this love? ([01:01:12])
2. If you are single, how can you use your singleness as an opportunity for undivided devotion to God? What specific steps can you take to serve the Lord more fully in your current state? ([01:16:53])
3. Have you or someone you know experienced divorce? How can the church better support individuals who have gone through divorce, ensuring they feel grace and understanding rather than judgment? ([01:12:52])
4. If you are married to an unbeliever, how can you witness to your spouse through your actions and love? What practical steps can you take to live out your faith in a way that might lead to their sanctification? ([01:29:20])
5. Think about a time when you struggled with forgiveness in your marriage or other relationships. How can you apply the principles of grace and forgiveness discussed in the sermon to those situations? ([01:43:11])
6. How can you, as part of the church community, help create an environment that honors and supports both married and single individuals equally? What specific actions can you take to ensure everyone feels valued and included? ([01:16:53])
7. Reflect on any past mistakes or regrets you may have regarding relationships. How can you allow God's forgiveness to free you from those burdens, and how can you extend that same forgiveness to others? ([01:43:11])
Devotional
Day 1: Covenant Love Reflects Divine Commitment
Marriage is a sacred reflection of the steadfast covenant between God and His people, a bond that is meant to be a testament to the world of His unwavering love and faithfulness. As Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so are husbands called to love their wives with a self-sacrificial love that goes beyond feelings and circumstances. Wives, in turn, are encouraged to submit to their husbands as the church submits to Christ, creating a harmonious relationship that glorifies God. This divine institution is not to be entered into lightly but with a profound understanding of the commitment and love it entails.
Ephesians 5:25-27 says, "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish."
Reflection: How can you demonstrate Christ's covenantal love in your marriage or relationships today?
Day 2: Singleness as Devoted Service
Singleness is not a condition to be remedied but an opportunity for undivided devotion to the Lord. It is a time that can be used to serve God without the distractions that often come with marital responsibilities. The church must recognize and honor the unique contributions of single individuals, supporting them in their service to the Lord. Singleness is a gift that allows for a focused and undistracted ministry, and it should be celebrated as such.
1 Corinthians 7:32-34 states, "I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband."
Reflection: In what ways can you leverage your current marital status, whether single or married, to serve God more wholeheartedly?
Day 3: Grace in the Face of Divorce
Divorce is a deeply painful and complex issue, and the church must approach it with a balance of upholding the sanctity of marriage and extending grace to those who have experienced it. While the church encourages couples to work towards reconciliation, it also recognizes that in certain situations, such as adultery, abandonment, or abuse, divorce may be the most viable option. In these cases, individuals should be met with compassion and understanding, not judgment, as they seek healing and restoration through God's grace.
Malachi 2:16 declares, "For the man who does not love his wife but divorces her, says the Lord, the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence, says the Lord of hosts. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless."
Reflection: How can the church better support and provide healing for those who have gone through the pain of divorce?
Day 4: The Ministry Within Mixed Marriages
Being married to an unbeliever presents unique challenges and opportunities for ministry. The believing spouse is called to live out their faith in such a way that it may lead to the sanctification of their unbelieving partner and children. However, if the unbelieving spouse chooses to leave, the believer is not bound by the marriage covenant. This situation requires wisdom, patience, and a deep reliance on God's guidance.
1 Peter 3:1-2 advises, "Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct."
Reflection: If you are in a mixed-faith marriage, how can you lovingly and respectfully live out your faith to influence your spouse?
Day 5: Living in Forgiveness and Grace
Forgiveness and grace are not just concepts to be understood but realities to be lived out. As recipients of the ultimate forgiveness through Christ's sacrifice, believers are called to extend the same grace to others. This includes forgiving past mistakes and regrets, both in ourselves and in others, and allowing God's grace to transform our relationships and interactions.
Colossians 3:12-13 instructs, "Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive."
Reflection: Who do you need to extend forgiveness to today, and how can you take a step towards reconciliation?
Quotes
"Marriage is a gift from God and no man alone can put that asunder, only God. It is a covenant with God. We're called to be fruitful and multiply. God established marriage and the family; these are all good... We acknowledge that singleness, we acknowledge that widows and widowers, we acknowledge that all of these people – unmarried, married, singles, single parents – are all important to the kingdom of God." [01:39:35]
"This is complex, it's sensitive, it's important that we face this issue. I hope I've done my best to teach on this as a building block for our church not just on marriage, divorce, and remarriage but on anything that we would apply the same principles – the devotion to the word of God, the principles of grace, mercy, and love, and forgiveness that we would apply to any of the cases that we might face." [01:41:24]
"I want you to be without concerns. The unmarried man is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord. But the married man is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife, and his interests are divided... I'm saying this for your own benefit, not to put a restraint on you, but to promote what is proper and so that you may be devoted to the Lord without distraction." [01:08:19]
"We should be better, and listen, I'm also going to say this in advance – say it's a sinful divorce... and you were wrong, is God's grace not as sufficient for that sin as it is any other sin in this room?... God's grace is more sufficient for all of us. Jesus, and it covers all of us. So even in sinfulness, I want you to understand the meaning that we have to forgive and move beyond this." [01:13:28]
"Believe that with all of my heart, every passion of how I preach and how I know Jesus. This does not mean that I get rid of the Covenant of God; it means God does. Only God can, in those moments, free a person. They can free you to remain single, they can free you to reconcile, or it can free you to potentially remarry depending upon your circumstance." [01:42:05]
"May we commit ourselves in our lives and our marriage and our homes to the Lord. May we commit our church to the Lord. May we be free... I hope throughout this, if you've ever struggled with what happened in your life, that God's grace is sufficient for you, whether it's a divorce or it's some other sin. Let God forgive you." [01:42:38]
"Paul is pretty clear, Jesus is pretty clear, and so is Moses. And when we take them all together, if someone is divorced for some reason other than they just don't want to be with that person and they just quit on the marriage, if adultery or abandonment or abuse or something like that addiction comes into the game, and that person has tried and tried and tried to make that marriage work and they end up getting divorced, they are free." [01:12:16]
"Paul here is giving this advice, and I think it's a command from the Lord: look, if you can't control yourself and you want to have sexual relations or you just need a partner or a companion, listen, he's saying it's better not to have those things, but it's better for you to marry than to burn with desire. It's better for you to marry than to have lust." [01:18:20]
"Marriage is to be honored by everyone. The marriage bed is kept undefiled because God will judge the sexually immoral and the adulterers. So marriage is to be honored. God has given us marriage to keep things pure, to keep us focused in life, to reflect the relationship that we have with him. We honor marriage." [01:04:12]
"If you're in abuse and you're being beaten up, we're going to the authorities. That's what we do. And if you need to walk away from that marriage, the church should fully support you. If there's an adulterous affair and you choose not to work through it... if you choose not to, that's clearly grounds to end a marriage." [01:36:43]
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