God's Principles for Nurturing Wise and Loving Children
Summary
In our journey through the Book of Proverbs, we have been exploring the "Ways of the Wise," and today's focus is on the vital role of parenting. Parenting is not just about providing for physical needs; it's about nurturing and guiding the next generation with God's wisdom. This is why I am passionate about sharing God's Positive Parenting Principles (PPP), which are rooted in the understanding that all children need five critical elements: acceptance, appreciation, attention, authority, and apologies.
Children need to feel accepted for who they are, not just for what they do. Acceptance is the bedrock of security and self-worth. It is essential for children to know that they are loved unconditionally. This love mirrors God's love for us, as He accepts us just as we are. When children feel accepted, they are more likely to develop into confident and secure adults.
Appreciation is another cornerstone of effective parenting. It's about recognizing and affirming children's efforts and achievements. By focusing on the positive and encouraging their unique talents, we help them to grow in confidence and self-esteem. We must remember to praise their improvements, not just their successes, and to be their cheerleaders in life.
Attention is the currency of love in a child's world. Children crave our presence and engagement. When they act out, it's often a cry for attention. We must be intentional in giving them the time and focus they need. This means being present, not just physically, but emotionally and mentally as well.
Authority is about setting clear boundaries and providing consistent discipline. It's not about being a dictator, but rather a loving guide who helps children navigate the complexities of life. Discipline should be about teaching and guiding, not punishing. It should be administered with love and the goal of promoting positive behavior change.
Finally, apologies are a powerful tool in parenting. They teach humility and forgiveness. When we apologize to our children, we acknowledge our mistakes and model repentance. This can heal and strengthen the parent-child relationship.
Key Takeaways:
- Acceptance is the foundation of a child's sense of security. When we accept our children for who they are, we reflect God's unconditional love for us. This acceptance empowers them to grow into the individuals God has designed them to be, secure in their identity and purpose. [27:30]
- Appreciation goes beyond mere acknowledgment; it involves actively seeking and celebrating the good in our children. It's about recognizing their efforts, praising their progress, and encouraging their dreams. When we appreciate our children, we affirm their value and contribute to their sense of self-worth. [10:09]
- Attention is not just about the quantity but the quality of time we spend with our children. It's about being fully present, listening to their stories, and engaging in their world. When we give our children attention, we communicate their importance to us and foster a deep connection. [13:00]
- Authority, when exercised with love and consistency, provides children with a sense of safety and structure. It's not about asserting power but about guiding and teaching. When we set boundaries and enforce them with compassion, we help our children develop self-discipline and respect for others. [15:40]
- Apologies demonstrate to our children that we are fallible and that seeking forgiveness is a strength, not a weakness. When we apologize, we teach our children about grace and reconciliation, and we model the humility that is essential for healthy relationships. [25:31]
In conclusion, parenting is a divine calling that requires wisdom, patience, and love. By applying these principles, we can raise children who are secure, appreciated, attentive, respectful, and forgiving. Let us embrace this calling with the assurance that God is with us every step of the way, guiding us in the ways of the wise.
Study Guide
### Bible Study Discussion Guide
#### Bible Reading
1. Proverbs 22:6 - "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it."
2. Psalm 139:13 - "For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother's womb."
3. Jeremiah 31:3 - "Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee."
#### Observation Questions
1. According to Proverbs 22:6, what is the significance of training a child in the way he should go? How does this relate to understanding a child's unique temperament? [05:30]
2. How does Psalm 139:13 describe God's involvement in our creation, and what does this imply about the uniqueness of each child? [08:36]
3. What does Jeremiah 31:3 reveal about God's love for us, and how should this influence our acceptance of our children? [08:36]
4. In the sermon, what are the five critical elements that all children need according to God's Positive Parenting Principles (PPP)? [03:17]
#### Interpretation Questions
1. How does understanding a child's unique "bend" or temperament, as mentioned in Proverbs 22:6, change the way we approach parenting? [05:30]
2. What are the practical implications of Psalm 139:13 for parents in terms of nurturing their child's individual gifts and talents? [08:36]
3. How can Jeremiah 31:3's message of everlasting love be reflected in the way we accept and appreciate our children? [08:36]
4. The sermon emphasizes the importance of apologies in parenting. How does this practice teach children about humility and forgiveness? [24:50]
#### Application Questions
1. Reflect on a time when you felt truly accepted for who you are. How can you create a similar environment of acceptance for your children? [03:17]
2. Think about a recent achievement or effort by your child. How did you show appreciation? What are some specific ways you can celebrate their efforts more consistently? [09:24]
3. Evaluate the quality of time you spend with your children. What are some activities or practices you can implement to ensure you are fully present and engaged with them? [12:16]
4. Consider the boundaries and rules you have set for your children. Are they clear and consistent? How can you ensure that your discipline is administered with love and the goal of teaching rather than punishing? [15:00]
5. Recall a moment when you had to apologize to your child. How did it affect your relationship? What steps can you take to make apologies a regular part of your parenting practice? [24:50]
6. Identify one area where you might be exerting "parent pressure" on your child. How can you adjust your approach to better support their unique gifts and interests? [07:44]
7. Reflect on the sermon’s message about the importance of attention. What are some specific ways you can show your children that they are important to you, even in your busy schedule? [12:16]
Devotional
Day 1: Embracing Unconditional Acceptance
Acceptance is the cornerstone of a child's sense of security and self-worth. It is the unconditional embrace that tells a child they are valued for who they are, not just for what they accomplish or how they behave. This form of acceptance is reflective of the divine love that does not waver based on our actions. When parents provide this kind of steadfast love, they lay the groundwork for their children to develop into confident and secure adults, who are comfortable in their own skin and able to engage with the world from a place of strength and self-assurance. It is through this lens of acceptance that children can truly understand their inherent worth and the unwavering love of their Heavenly Father. [27:30]
"See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know him." - 1 John 3:1 ESV
Reflection: How can you show unconditional acceptance to someone in your life today, mirroring the love that God shows us?
Day 2: Celebrating Each Child's Uniqueness
Appreciation in parenting goes beyond mere acknowledgment; it involves actively seeking and celebrating the good in our children. It's about recognizing their efforts, praising their progress, and encouraging their dreams. When parents appreciate their children, they affirm their value and contribute to their sense of self-worth. This practice helps children to see themselves through a lens of positivity and potential, fostering a healthy self-image and a willingness to strive for their goals. Appreciation is not just about celebrating the milestones but also about acknowledging the small steps taken each day. [10:09]
"Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to build him up." - Romans 15:2 ESV
Reflection: What specific trait or effort can you appreciate in your child or a young person in your life today?
Day 3: Prioritizing Intentional Presence
Attention is the currency of love in a child's world. It's not just about the quantity but the quality of time we spend with our children. Being fully present—listening to their stories, engaging in their world, and showing genuine interest in their lives—communicates their importance to us. This intentional presence fosters a deep connection and lets children know that they are a priority. When children receive this kind of focused attention, they feel seen and understood, which is essential for their emotional and social development. [13:00]
"Whoever gives thought to the word will discover good, and blessed is he who trusts in the Lord." - Proverbs 16:20 ESV
Reflection: How can you be more intentionally present with your children or the young people in your life today?
Day 4: Guiding with Loving Authority
Authority, when exercised with love and consistency, provides children with a sense of safety and structure. It's not about asserting power but about guiding and teaching. Setting clear boundaries and enforcing them with compassion helps children develop self-discipline and respect for others. This approach to authority allows children to understand the consequences of their actions and the importance of making wise choices. It is through loving guidance that children learn to navigate the complexities of life with confidence and integrity. [15:40]
"Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord." - Ephesians 6:4 ESV
Reflection: In what ways can you improve on providing loving guidance and clear boundaries for your children or the young people you influence?
Day 5: Modeling Humility Through Apologies
Apologies are a powerful tool in parenting. They teach humility and forgiveness. When parents apologize to their children, they acknowledge their mistakes and model repentance. This practice not only heals and strengthens the parent-child relationship but also teaches children about grace and reconciliation. It shows them that seeking forgiveness is a strength, not a weakness, and that everyone, regardless of age or status, is accountable for their actions. [25:31]
"Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive." - Colossians 3:12-13 ESV
Reflection: Is there an instance where you need to apologize to your child or a young person, and how can you demonstrate humility through that apology today?
Quotes
- "The only thing worse than peer pressure is parent pressure. God creates every child to be unique... Don't mess up God's creation by trying to alter your kid; accept him or her as a unique gift from God." [08:36] (Download | )
- "Acceptance says who I am matters, but appreciation says what I do matters... the sweetness of lips increases learning... the best way to teach is to be positive, to brag not nag." [10:09] (Download | )
- "Kids can't get too much attention. When a child doesn't get attention, rebellion will spring up in various forms... they are saying 'hey I'm here and I want attention and I'll do anything to get it.'" [13:00] (Download | )
- "Kids don't need another pal; they need a parent who is an authority figure in their lives... rules without discipline are nothing more than suggestions, and kids don't need suggestions; they need boundaries." [15:40] (Download | )
- "Nothing can heal a relationship like an apology, and nothing prevents us from apologizing like pride... repeating the offense indicates you didn't mean the apology." [25:31] (Download | )
- "To use positive parenting principles, we must understand kids need acceptance, appreciation, attention, authority, and yes, they also need apologies." [26:47] (Download | )
- "God wants you to know that he accepts you Just the Way You Are... receive God's acceptance today." [27:30] (Download | )
- "The word 'Rod' refers to a shepherd's rod, which was used almost exclusively for guiding sheep, not beating them... we are to train up a child in the way he should go, not beat him in the way he should go." [18:30] (Download | )
- "Discipline promotes change while punishment inflicts pain... discipline is done in love while punishment is usually done out of frustration or anger." [16:19] (Download | )
- "The best way to know if you are punishing in anger or disciplining in love is to simply ask this question: is my child afraid of me?" [23:27] (Download | )
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