God's Design for Flourishing Marriages and Families

 

Summary

In my sermon, I began by expressing my delight in leading worship and introducing our new sermon series, "The Way Home," which focuses on God's design for human flourishing through the gifts of marriage and family. I acknowledged that some might be tempted to tune out, but I urged everyone to lean in, considering the confusion and corruption surrounding marriage and family in today's society. I emphasized the importance of basing our convictions on the truth of God's Word rather than on societal norms or personal experiences.

I then addressed the overwhelming data showing the brokenness in marriages and families, citing statistics on cohabitation, divorce, and single-parent households. I posed the question of whether the problem lies with God's design or with us as the users of that design. To answer this, I turned to the creation narrative in Genesis, highlighting that God alone is the designer and definer of marriage and family. I explained that the first "not good" in creation was man's solitude, leading God to create a suitable helper for him, Eve.

I further elaborated that marriage, as God designed it, is a lifelong covenant relationship between one man and one woman, intended for fellowship, stewardship of creation, and enjoyment of the Creator. I pointed out that the original state of marriage was without shame or guilt, but sin introduced brokenness into this perfect design.

I then discussed the consequences of Adam and Eve's sin, which brought pain, toil, and ultimately separation from God. Despite this, I highlighted God's redemptive provision through the shedding of blood, foreshadowing the ultimate redemption in Jesus Christ. I explained that our marriages and families are meant to illustrate the gospel, with the primary meaning of marriage being to reflect God's love and forgiveness.

As I concluded, I led the congregation in a reflective exercise, asking them to breathe in God's grace and exhale it onto their families, even in the midst of conflict or hurt. I encouraged them to see God's good design and submit to His definitions, trusting in His redemption for what sin has stolen.

Key Takeaways:

1. God's design for marriage and family is perfect and intended for our flourishing. When we experience brokenness in these areas, it is not the design that is flawed, but our sinful nature that distorts it. We must look to the Creator's original intent to understand how to live out these relationships in a way that honors Him and brings us true joy. ([39:36])

2. The consequences of sin are real and affect every aspect of our lives, including our relationships. However, the greatest consequence is our separation from God. It is only through the redemptive work of Jesus Christ that we can be reconciled to God and find hope for restoring what has been broken by sin. ([55:47])

3. Marriage is more than a social contract; it is a divine covenant that illustrates the gospel. When we forgive and love our spouses, even when it's difficult, we paint a picture of God's unconditional love and forgiveness for us. This understanding elevates the purpose of marriage beyond personal happiness to a profound representation of divine love. ([59:51])

4. The path to a meaningful marriage is to imitate the gospel. By practicing sacrificial, unconditional love towards our spouse, we reflect the love we have received from Christ. This is challenging because it requires us to confront our own sinful nature, but it is the only way to truly illustrate the gospel through our marriages. ([01:03:05])

5. In moments of conflict or hurt within our families, we must breathe in God's grace and extend it to others. This act of grace is not just for the benefit of our relationships but is a testament to the transformative power of the gospel. It is through this grace that we can begin to heal and redeem what has been fractured. ([01:08:07])

Study Guide

### Bible Study Discussion Guide: "The Way Home"

#### Bible Reading
- Genesis 2:18-25
- Ephesians 1:7-10
- 1 John 4:7-11

#### Observation Questions
1. According to Genesis 2:18, what was the first "not good" in creation, and how did God address it?
2. In Genesis 2:24-25, what does the passage say about the relationship between a man and his wife?
3. How does Ephesians 1:7-10 describe the work of Jesus in terms of redemption and unity?
4. What does 1 John 4:7-11 say about the nature of God's love and how it should manifest in our relationships?

#### Interpretation Questions
1. Why is it significant that God alone is the designer and definer of marriage and family? How does this understanding impact our view of these institutions? ([39:36])
2. How do the consequences of Adam and Eve's sin, as described in Genesis 3, affect our relationships today? ([54:37])
3. What does it mean for marriage to illustrate the gospel, and how does this elevate the purpose of marriage beyond personal happiness? ([59:51])
4. How can practicing sacrificial, unconditional love in our marriages and families reflect the love we have received from Christ? ([01:03:05])

#### Application Questions
1. Reflect on your own marriage or family relationships. Are there areas where you have been trying to redefine what God has designed? How can you realign your understanding with God's original intent? ([48:41])
2. In moments of conflict or hurt within your family, how can you practically "breathe in God's grace and exhale it onto your family"? Think of a specific situation where you can apply this principle. ([01:06:14])
3. The sermon emphasized the importance of seeing marriage as a divine covenant rather than a social contract. How does this perspective change the way you approach challenges in your marriage? ([42:34])
4. How can you illustrate the gospel in your marriage or family this week? Identify a specific action you can take to show unconditional love and forgiveness. ([59:51])
5. Think about a relationship in your family that is currently strained. What steps can you take to extend grace and seek reconciliation, even if it feels undeserved? ([01:08:07])
6. The sermon mentioned the importance of prioritizing your marriage, especially after having children. What practical steps can you take to ensure your marriage remains a priority? ([45:36])
7. How can you support and encourage a friend or family member who is struggling with their marriage or family relationships? What specific actions can you take to be a source of grace and support? ([44:13])

This guide is designed to help your small group delve deeper into the sermon "The Way Home" and apply its teachings to your lives. May your discussions be fruitful and transformative.

Devotional

Day 1: Perfect Design for Flourishing Lives
God's blueprint for marriage and family was crafted with the intention of human flourishing. This perfect design is often marred by our own failings and sin, leading to various forms of brokenness in our relationships. However, it is crucial to remember that the flaw lies not in the design itself but in our implementation of it. By returning to the Creator's original plan, we can find guidance on how to navigate these sacred bonds in a manner that not only honors Him but also brings us genuine happiness and fulfillment. The design was never meant to be burdensome but a source of joy and companionship, reflecting the very nature of God's relationship with humanity. In the beginning, God saw that it was not good for man to be alone, and so He created a suitable partner, establishing the first marriage as a covenant of companionship and mutual support. This divine institution is meant to mirror the perfect unity and love found within the Trinity, offering us a glimpse of the relational harmony that God desires for all His creation. [39:36]

"And the Lord God said, 'It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.' ... Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." (Genesis 2:18, 24 ESV)

Reflection: How can you align your understanding of marriage and family more closely with God's original design, and what steps can you take to repair any brokenness in these areas of your life?

Day 2: Redemption Amidst Brokenness
The reality of sin's consequences is evident in every aspect of our lives, particularly in our relationships. The fall of Adam and Eve brought about pain, toil, and the most devastating of all, separation from God. Yet, in the midst of this brokenness, God did not abandon His creation. Instead, He provided a way of redemption, foreshadowing the ultimate sacrifice of Jesus Christ on the cross. This redemptive narrative is central to the Christian faith, offering hope and a path to restoration. As believers, we are called to recognize the depth of our brokenness without losing sight of the promise of reconciliation through Christ. It is this hope that allows us to persevere in our relationships, striving to mend what has been damaged and to restore the intimacy that was intended from the beginning. The gospel message is one of restoration, and our marriages and families are the prime contexts in which this message can be lived out and displayed to the world. [55:47]

"But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." (Romans 5:8 ESV)

Reflection: In what ways have you experienced the consequences of sin in your relationships, and how can you actively seek God's redemption in those areas?

Day 3: Marriage as a Divine Covenant
Marriage transcends a mere social contract; it is a divine covenant that serves as a living illustration of the gospel. In the selfless love and forgiveness that spouses are called to extend to one another, they embody the very essence of God's unconditional love for us. This profound understanding elevates the purpose of marriage beyond personal satisfaction to a significant representation of divine love. As believers, we are challenged to view our marriages as a ministry, where the virtues of patience, kindness, and forgiveness are not just ideals but daily practices. This covenantal love is a testament to the world of the transformative power of the gospel, demonstrating that even the most intimate human relationships are a reflection of the divine relationship between Christ and His church. [59:51]

"Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her." (Ephesians 5:25 ESV)

Reflection: How does your marriage or your view of marriage reflect the covenantal love Christ has for the church, and what changes can you make to better illustrate this divine love?

Day 4: Imitating the Gospel in Marriage
The path to a meaningful marriage is found in imitating the gospel. This means practicing sacrificial, unconditional love towards our spouse, reflecting the love we have received from Christ. Such love is challenging because it confronts our own sinful nature and calls us to a higher standard of living. It is not enough to love when it is convenient or when it serves our interests; gospel-centered love calls us to love in the face of difficulty and self-denial. This kind of love is transformative, not only for our marriages but for everyone who witnesses it. It is a love that forgives, that serves, and that lays down one's life for the other, just as Christ did for us. By living out this gospel love, we become beacons of hope and healing in a world that desperately needs to see the power of Christ's love in action. [01:03:05]

"By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers." (1 John 3:16 ESV)

Reflection: What are some practical ways you can demonstrate sacrificial love to your spouse or loved ones today, mirroring the love Christ has shown you?

Day 5: Extending Grace in Family Conflict
In moments of family conflict or hurt, it is essential to breathe in God's grace and exhale it onto others. This act of grace is not merely for the benefit of our relationships but serves as a testament to the transformative power of the gospel. It is through grace that we can begin the process of healing and redemption in our fractured relationships. Extending grace means choosing to forgive, to let go of bitterness, and to seek reconciliation, even when it is undeserved. It is a reflection of the grace we have received from God, who forgave us while we were yet sinners. As we practice this grace in our families, we become agents of God's love, bringing about restoration and peace in the places where it is needed most. [01:08:07]

"Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive." (Colossians 3:12-13 ESV)

Reflection: Can you identify a situation within your family that requires the extension of grace, and what steps will you take to offer forgiveness and seek reconciliation?

Quotes

"When it comes to marriages and families, in other words, when marriages and families are in view, God alone is the designer. God alone is the designer. You could even say God is the author, right? And if you've ever read a novel or ever read a narrative, you don't read the novel. You read the narrative and say, you know what? That's not what that character did. That's not what that character said. The author gets to determine how it is that the novel should be read and understood. And God alone is the designer of marriage and family." [39:36](Download clip | | )

"The Bible says that it's God's unconditional love, covenant love, that is the way in which we imitate the gospel, the way in which we practice the gospel with our spouses and in our families. I would say this about covenant love. Covenant love, defined and described, it is sacrificial in nature, and it is unconditional in its application. Covenant love, defined and described, is sacrificial in its nature, it is unconditional in its application, because if that is the very love that we have received from Christ Jesus, then that is the very love that we are called to extend by Christ Jesus." [01:03:05]( | | )

"Breathe in God's grace, and pour out that grace. On your parent, or your grandparent, or whoever it is that is causing you hardship and grief. Breathe in God's grace, and pour out that grace on others, and you're thinking now, but pastor, you have no idea what it is that she's done. No, but God does, so breathe in his grace, and pour out that grace on her, but pastor, he cheated on me. I'm so sorry. Breathe in God's grace, and pour out that grace on her. I'm so sorry. Breathe in God's grace, and pour out that grace on him." [01:08:07]( | | )

"The greatest consequence was the separation from God, that Adam and Eve were separated from God and cast out from his kingdom. And so, you know, we still suffer from them today, but the greatest consequence was the separation from God, that Adam and Eve were separated from God and cast out from your designer and the one who gave you the definition of how he intended for your design to be for your good and for your flourishing so you could thrive." [55:47]( | | )

"The primary meaning of marriage is to illustrate the gospel. Now, in Ephesians chapter 5, we weren't there, but I'll just tell you. In Ephesians chapter 5, verse 32, Paul describes marriage as a mystery. And when he uses that word mystery, he doesn't mean it like a crime fighting, solving a crime, or a mystery like that, something that may or may not be known. What he means is marriage serves a deeper meaning. Meaning this, that marriage is not just for our good, but ultimately it's for God's glory." [59:51]( | | )

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