A Godly Man | Song of Solomon 3:6-10 | Andrew Hopper

Song of Solomon gives a picture of who to be looking for and who to become. The man God wants is the same man a godly woman ought to want, because desire in marriage is not dirty when it is shaped by God’s design. The world starts with eye candy: are they hot, popular, or wealthy? God calls people to look at the beginning for what will matter in the end.

Solomon’s wedding processional puts three things on display: provision, protection, and leadership. Solomon’s carriage, costly preparation, and intentional pursuit say more than, “Let me tell you.” They say, “Let me show you.” His gold, purple, myrrh, and frankincense are not mainly about being rich. They are a pledge that his bride is prepared for, pursued with purpose, and brought into a home where somebody has said, “I’ve got it.”

Provision is not a claim that women cannot work, lead, or handle business. Provision means a man settles the burden in his own heart before marriage ever gets close. His future work, planning, and sacrifice become a banner over his home. A man does not suddenly become dependable at the wedding altar if he has never handled his business before. People play like they practice.

Solomon’s sixty mighty men also show protection. God gives strength to men not so they can bully, take, or use their strength for themselves, but so they can give it away for others. Adam was called to keep the garden, and Eve was the crown jewel in that garden. A godly man puts himself between danger and those entrusted to him, whether that danger is physical, financial, spiritual, or emotional.

Solomon’s authority over his warriors also reveals leadership. A man’s future leadership in his home can often be seen in how he leads people now: friends, coworkers, teammates, a Bible study, or a place of service. Leadership is not barking orders. Leadership is sacrificially setting the direction of a home toward church, holiness, wisdom, and faithfulness.

Jesus is the greater Solomon. Solomon sent a golden carriage for his bride, but Christ came for His bride on a cross stained with blood. Christ perfectly provides, protects, and leads His church. Men who have failed do not need to hang their heads in shame. Christ sees His redeemed people as clean, without flaw, and calls them to repent, receive His grace, and chase the life He has already secured for them.

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Key Takeaways

• 1. Look for what lasts forever The world trains the eyes to notice what will not carry a marriage through suffering, children, conflict, sickness, or old age. Godliness, character, sacrificial strength, and maturity are not flashy, but they matter in the end. A wise person learns to look past the eye candy and ask what kind of life this person is building right now. [04:58]
• 2. Provision begins before the wedding Solomon’s preparation showed that his pursuit had purpose, time, and sacrifice behind it. A man’s willingness to provide is not measured merely by income, but by whether he takes responsibility for his life and plans to carry burdens rather than avoid them. Dependability is practiced long before it is promised. [09:39]
• 3. Strength exists to protect others God-given strength becomes ugly when it takes, bullies, or sacrifices others for self-preservation. Godly strength puts itself between danger and the vulnerable, choosing sacrifice so that others can flourish. Protection may show up in a parking lot, a budget, a hard conversation, or a willingness to go toward the bump in the night. [18:57]
• 4. Leadership is visible in ordinary life A man does not need sixty warriors to demonstrate leadership. His friends, work, service, discipline, and spiritual direction already reveal whether he can influence others toward what is good. A home needs more than a man with charisma; it needs a man willing to lead with a crown of thorns. [24:29]
• 5. Jesus is the greater Solomon Solomon’s procession points beyond itself to Christ’s pursuit of His bride. Jesus did not merely send resources across the distance of sin; He carried the cost Himself on the cross. His perfect provision, protection, and leadership become both the security of the church and the pattern men are called to chase.
  
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Youtube Chapters

• [00:00] - Welcome
• [03:23] - Who to Look For and Become
• [03:58] - Look for What Matters in the End
• [05:41] - Provider, Protector, and Leader
• [07:05] - Solomon’s Wedding Processional
• [08:23] - Godly Men Prepare to Provide
• [10:45] - Planned Pursuit and Intentionality
• [12:04] - The Burden of Provision
• [16:25] - Godly Men Protect
• [21:41] - Sacrificial Protection in Real Life
• [23:37] - Godly Men Lead
• [27:07] - Leadership Like Christ
• [30:05] - Jesus, the Greater Solomon
• [32:39] - Repentance, Grace, and Growth
• [35:21] - What to Look for Now
• [36:48] - Pray and Encourage

Bible Reading

Song of Solomon 3:6-10
“What is that coming up from the wilderness like columns of smoke, perfumed with myrrh and frankincense, with all the fragrant powders of a merchant? Behold, it is the litter of Solomon! Around it are sixty mighty men, some of the mighty men of Israel, all of them wearing swords and expert in war, each with his sword at his thigh, against terror by night. King Solomon made himself a carriage from the wood of Lebanon. He made its posts of silver, its back of gold, its seat of purple; its interior was inlaid with love by the daughters of Jerusalem.” [07:05]

Ephesians 5:22-25
“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” [27:34]

Genesis 2:15
“The LORD God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to work it and keep it.” [18:27]

Observation questions

1. In Song of Solomon 3:6-10, what details make Solomon’s wedding procession look prepared, costly, and intentional rather than casual or last-minute? [08:23]
2. What three qualities are highlighted through Solomon’s carriage, his mighty men, and his ability to direct them?
3. According to Genesis 2:15, what was Adam called to do in the garden, and how does that connect with the idea of protection? [18:27]
4. In Ephesians 5:22-25, what responsibilities are placed on husbands, and what is the model for their love and leadership? [27:34]

Interpretation questions

1. Solomon’s costly and planned pursuit communicates more than wealth; it communicates purpose and responsibility. What kinds of present-day choices can show that a person is preparing to carry burdens rather than avoiding them? [11:37]
2. The sixty mighty men guarded against “the terror of the night.” How can protection include physical safety while also extending to financial, emotional, and spiritual care? [21:41]
3. Ephesians 5 connects a husband’s leadership with Christ’s self-giving love for the church. Why is sacrificial love essential for distinguishing biblical leadership from control, passivity, or selfishness? [27:41]
4. Jesus is the greater Solomon because He did not merely send help for His bride; He gave Himself to bring her near. How does Christ’s sacrifice give hope to people who see failures in their own relationships or character? [30:45]

Application questions

1. The world often encourages people to begin with appearance, popularity, or money. What “eye candy” can distract a person from seeing godliness, character, maturity, and faithfulness clearly? What would it look like to look first for what will matter at the end? [04:58]
2. For single people, what patterns in a potential spouse’s life right now would reveal growing dependability, sacrificial strength, and spiritual leadership? For married people, what patterns are already shaping the home? [36:07]
3. Provision is more than income; it includes taking responsibility and carrying burdens. Where might a person need to grow in planning, work, financial wisdom, dependability, or care for the needs of others? [16:25]
4. God-given strength is meant to protect rather than bully or take. In what specific setting—at home, work, church, school, or among friends—does someone have an opportunity this week to use strength, influence, or resources to make another person safer and more secure? [18:50]
5. Leadership is already visible in ordinary life. How is each person influencing friends, coworkers, children, teammates, or fellow believers? Is that influence moving people toward church, holiness, wisdom, and faithfulness? [24:29]
6. Christ sees His redeemed people as clean and calls them to repent and grow. Where is shame about past failure tempting someone to hang their head rather than confess sin, receive grace, and take a faithful next step? [32:39]