Kindness: God's Costly Love Extended to the Hostile

Feb 20, 2026

Devotional

Day 1: The Invitation to Bring Our Need to God

God calls us to come to Him not when we are strong and put together, but precisely when we are weak, weary, and burdened. He is eager to receive us in our hunger, thirst, and failure, offering true rest for our souls. This is a profound comfort, reminding us that our value to Him is not based on our performance but on His gracious character. We can approach Him honestly, without pretense, knowing He meets us with kindness. [13:40]

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28, ESV)

Reflection: Where in your life are you currently “running on fumes,” and what would it look like to consciously bring that specific weariness to Jesus instead of trying to manage it on your own?

Day 2: Kindness is God’s Costly Love for the Hostile

Biblical kindness is far more than social niceness; it is a costly, intentional love that moves toward those who are opposed to it. This kindness originated with God, who did not send a self-help book but Himself in the person of Jesus. He extended this love to us when we were actively hostile toward Him, bearing the full cost on the cross to make us His own. [53:15]

“But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit.” (Titus 3:4-5, ESV)

Reflection: In what relationship or situation are you most tempted to offer mere niceness (self-protection) instead of Christlike kindness (costly love), and what is one step you could take to move toward that person in vulnerability?

Day 3: Diagnosing the Reality of Our Own Hostility

We cannot receive God’s cure until we honestly acknowledge our diagnosis. Scripture reveals that the problem of malice and envy is not just “out there” in the world, but resides within every human heart, including our own. We were once foolish, disobedient, and enslaved to passions, living in a spiral of hating and being hated. True kindness begins with this honesty about our own need. [01:04:43]

“For we ourselves were once foolish, disobedient, led astray, slaves to various passions and pleasures, passing our days in malice and envy, hated by others and hating one another.” (Titus 3:3, ESV)

Reflection: Where have you recently seen evidence of a “blunted mind” or “hardened heart” in your own actions or reactions, revealing a need for God’s merciful intervention?

Day 4: The Cross Absorbs Our Hostility and Frees Us

The cross is the ultimate demonstration of kindness, where Jesus absorbed the full force of our hostility and the wrath it deserved. He took away our sin and rebellion, not by suppressing it but by bearing it Himself. This grace, when it lands in the dark corners of our hearts, frees us from the exhausting performance of niceness because we have nothing left to hide and nothing left to lose. [01:06:43]

“He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed.” (1 Peter 2:24, ESV)

Reflection: How might your daily interactions change if you lived from the settled reality that your hostility has been fully absorbed by Christ, and you are completely known and fully loved?

Day 5: Becoming Conduits of God’s Kindness to Others

The Holy Spirit, poured out richly on us, produces the fruit of kindness in our lives. Our role is not to manufacture it but to stay connected to Jesus, the vine, allowing His life to flow through us. We are called to treat others as if we were Christ to them, and as if they were Christ to us, revolutionizing our relationships through sustained, costly love. [01:10:14]

“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32, ESV)

Reflection: Who in your life, perhaps someone who is indifferent or even hostile to your faith, is God inviting you to engage with not through argument, but through patient, Christ-reflecting friendship?

Sermon Summary

God invites the weary and broken to come with burdens, hunger, thirst, failure, and loss, promising rest and kindness. Baptism serves as a sign and seal of covenant grace: water symbolizes cleansing by Christ’s blood and the new life produced by the Spirit, while the church places this mark on children because of parental faith and covenant promises. Covenant duties include mutual love between spouses as a reflection of Trinitarian love, prayer and teaching of doctrine to children, and congregational support in Christian nurture.

The series on the fruit of the Spirit turns to kindness through the lens of Titus 3:1–7. Scripture portrays human life as foolish, disobedient, enslaved to passions, and driven toward malice and envy; into that hostility the goodness and loving-kindness of God appeared. Kindness does not mean mere niceness or occasional, random acts. Niceness often shields self-interest and avoids vulnerability; random kindness can act like a stress ball—temporary and self-serving. True kindness proves costly and relational: it requires vulnerability, a willingness to bear cost without expecting reward, and a sustained commitment to the other.

Biblical kindness originates with God, finds its fullest expression in Christ’s costly mercy, and pours out richly by the Spirit. God’s kindness came to enemies—those actively hostile—and reconciled them through mercy, not human merit. That same kindness now flows outward through believers, who function as conduits rather than sources. Practical transformation requires honest self-diagnosis: admit the malice and self-protection inside, receive Christ’s mercy that bore that hostility on the cross, and stay connected to the Spirit so kindness can flow through real relationships.

Concrete practices include treating others as if acting in Jesus’ name and treating others as if they were Jesus—two questions that reshape ordinary encounters. The story of a sustained, costly friendship that led a hostile academic to faith illustrates how patient, unearned kindness opens doors for the Gospel. Weekly practices like confession, the Lord’s Supper, and communal prayer aim to recalibrate hearts toward receiving and extending God’s costly love into fractured communities. The summons remains simple and hard: abandon surface niceness, accept Christ’s kindness, and let the Spirit make kindness visible to the hostile world.

Key Takeaways

1. Kindness is costly love True kindness mirrors God’s costly mercy in Christ: it paid a full price and expects no repayment. This love risks exposure and loss for the sake of another, choosing the other’s good over self-protection. Such costly love reshapes relationships by breaking cycles of retaliation and isolation. [53:15]
2. Kindness differs from niceness Niceness performs safety; kindness bears vulnerability. Niceness preserves status and appearance, while kindness steps into risk and possible rejection to meet real needs. Recognizing the difference frees Christians from shallow etiquette and calls them to sacrificial service. [48:51]
3. Kindness must be diagnosed honestly Honest self-assessment exposes malice, envy, and self-protection so the gospel can address root sins. Accepting Scripture’s diagnosis opens the door to receiving Christ’s mercy rather than merely polishing behavior. This confession creates the soil where genuine kindness can grow. [64:11]
4. Kindness flows by the Spirit The Spirit pours out God’s kindness richly and makes believers conduits of mercy, not mere moralists. Staying connected to Christ, not striving in self, allows kind deeds to arise naturally and sustainably. This relational, Spirit-driven kindness demonstrates the gospel to hostile hearts. [68:48]

Youtube Chapters

[00:00] - Welcome
[13:40] - Call to Worship & Invitation
[38:19] - Baptism: Meaning & Symbolism
[41:40] - Parental Vows & Covenant Duties
[42:52] - Baptism Prayer and Welcome
[45:16] - Fruit of the Spirit Series Intro
[46:24] - Reading: Titus 3:1–7
[48:51] - Kindness vs Niceness
[53:15] - Definition: Costly Love Extended
[64:11] - How to Receive Kindness
[71:05] - Story: Kindness That Converts
[82:08] - Communion: Table as Kindness
[85:17] - Closing Blessing

Bible Study Guide

Bible reading: Titus 3:1-7 (ESV)
Remind them to be submissive to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready for every good work, to speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people. For we ourselves were once foolish, disobedient, led astray, slaves to various passions and pleasures, passing our days in malice and envy, hated by others and hating one another. But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that being justified by his grace we might become heirs according to the hope of eternal life.

Observation questions

According to Titus 3:3, what are the seven descriptors used to paint a picture of our lives before Christ's kindness appeared?
What two specific attributes of God are named in verse 4 as the reason for our salvation?
The sermon distinguished between kindness and niceness, stating that niceness is self-protective and performs generosity without risk [50:26]. What is the key ingredient that kindness requires that niceness avoids?
How is the work of the Holy Spirit described in verse 6, and what does that imply about the source of our kindness?

Interpretation questions

Why is it significant that God's kindness appeared to us while we were in the state described in verse 3, characterized by malice and being hated? What does this say about the nature of His love?
The definition given was that "kindness is God's costly love extended to the hostile through us" [53:15]. How does the action of God in verses 4-7 serve as the perfect model for each part of that definition?
The sermon suggested that both meanness and niceness often come from the same place of self-occupation and self-protection [01:03:15]. How can two behaviors that look so opposite actually stem from the same root problem?
What does it mean practically to be a "conduit" of God's kindness rather than the "source"? How does this change our approach to trying to be kind?

Application questions

Honest self-diagnosis is the first step to receiving and giving true kindness [01:04:11]. Where have you recently seen traces of foolishness, malice, or envy in your own heart, perhaps disguised as justifiable frustration or righteous anger?
The cross absorbs our hostility and frees us from the exhausting performance of niceness [01:06:43]. What is one relationship or situation where you feel you are constantly "managing the surface" to appear acceptable? What would it look like to bring that burden to Jesus instead?
The two revolutionary questions from Colossians are: How would I treat this person if I were Christ? How would I treat this person if they were Christ? [01:10:14]. Pick one ordinary interaction you will have this week and consciously apply these questions beforehand. How might it change your approach?
Kindness is often sustained and costly, not random and convenient, as shown in the story of the pastor's friendship [01:11:41]. Who in your life—a neighbor, coworker, or family member—might need this kind of sustained, patient kindness rather than a one-time act? What is one small step you could take to move toward them?
The Lord's Supper is a weekly meal of God's kindness to remind us we have nothing left to hide [01:22:08]. How does regularly remembering Christ's sacrifice for your hostility weaken the power of your own self-protective instincts?
In what specific area of your life (online, at work, in traffic, at home) do you most easily slip from kindness into meanness or mere niceness? What practical reminder can you put in place this week to help you see those moments as opportunities for the gospel?

Sermon Clips

48s

#KindnessPersonified

“He was kindness personified, and people beat him and spit on him and mocked him and jeered at him and made fun of him and crucified him. The hostility of humanity killed him. As we sing in the hymn, ashamed, I heard my mocking voice call out among the scoffers. It was my sin that held him there until it was accomplished. When our kids were really little, we read the Jesus storybook bible to them. And, when our daughter was three or four, I remember at dinner we were reading the story of the crucifixion as we finished the story. With tears in her eyes, she looked up and she gasped and said, God is so kind.”

36s

#KindnessAsGrammar

“So what is he saying? He's saying God's kindness towards us becomes the grammar for our kindness towards others. Kindness, as the Bible describes as it's not primarily a technique for getting along with others. It's not a moral rule to follow. It's not a way to feel better about yourself. Here's the definition that we're gonna work with this morning as we talk about kindness. Kindness is God's costly love extended to the hostile through us. I'll say it again. It's God's costly love extended to the hostile through us.”

45s

#MeannessPays

“Meanness isn't just a failure of virtue, it's actually a system with rewards. People aren't mean merely because they're broken, they're mean because it works. I mean, researchers have confirmed this. They've confirmed that social dominance behaviors, putting others down, landing the cutting remark, winning the argument, these activate real reward pathways in the brain. There's a dopamine hit of being good at being mean that is psychologically real. Like the world didn't accidentally become mean, it became mean because meanness pays. And there's a social currency in both being mean and right. Like, if you are good at it on social media, you get followers, and then you get notoriety, and then you get a book deal.”

39s

#ChooseKindOverNiceness

“But what if that other kid did mean it? What if that other kid is running in the same spiral that Paul describes in verse three, the malice, the envy, the self hatred pointed outwards, and your child just walked through your kitchen door with a gospel opportunity, kindness, God's costly love towards the hostile through us, that could go forward on that school playground, but instead, we tell them to play nice and we shut the door. Why do we do this? We do this because we're doing the same thing in our own lives. We're so committed to the social contract of niceness that we've lost the ability to name reality.”

40s

#HeartProblemNotWorld

“The bible is not confused about what's wrong with the world. It's not out there, it's in here. It's in every human heart, in your heart and in my heart. And until you understand that the problem isn't them out there, but it's me in here, you have no hope of rescue, And you have no capacity for real kindness, because real kindness begins with honesty about your own hostility. And the good news of the gospel is it doesn't stop there. Someone quoted to me a song after the first service. You probably know it. Someday, I'll be living in a big old city, and all you're ever gonna be is mean.”

40s

#RosariaButterfieldStory

“There's a woman named Rosaria Butterfield, who was a tenured professor at Syracuse University. This is how she tells her story. She writes, she was a committed lesbian, a post modern literary critic. She was openly hostile to Christianity. And one day, she published an article attacking the religious right, and she expected hate mail in response. And instead, she received a letter from a local pastor named Ken Smith. And she later described this letter as the kindest letter of opposition she had ever received. She said it was warm and civil and probing, and she didn't have categories for it. And so it just sat on her desk for a week.”

37s

#KindnessRequiresVulnerability

“Now, niceness is self protective. It performs generosity without risking anything. Right? You can be impeccably nice and never once be kind because kindness requires something that niceness never asks of you. That's vulnerability. To be kind means you actually have to care what happens to the other person. Even when caring costs you something, even when it exposes you, even when the other person might not receive it well. Christopher Wright, who's a biblical scholar, says this. He says, kindness goes beyond duty. It means doing something you don't have to do, but you just choose to do.”

33s

#KindnessFlowsThroughUs

“God's kindness did not appear to people who were neutral towards him. It appeared to enemies. It appeared to you and me. And finally, it's extended through us. This is verse eight, which we didn't read together. I almost read, but we didn't read together, which Paul says, I want you to insist on these things so that those who have believed in God may be careful to devote themselves to good works. The kindness that appeared in Christ now flows outward through his people into the world. We are conduits of his kindness, not the source.”

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Kindness: God's Costly Love Extended to the Hostile

Devotional

Day 1: The Invitation to Bring Our Need to God

Day 2: Kindness is God’s Costly Love for the Hostile

Day 3: Diagnosing the Reality of Our Own Hostility

Day 4: The Cross Absorbs Our Hostility and Frees Us

Day 5: Becoming Conduits of God’s Kindness to Others

Sermon Summary

Key Takeaways

Youtube Chapters

Bible Study Guide

Sermon Clips

Kindness: God's Costly Love Extended to the Hostile

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