Honoring Headship: God’s Design for Family and Church

Now I I wanna give a disclaimer. It would be inappropriate to use this text as an argument as to whether or not men or women should wear hats in church today. Right? This is not the text to use for that because it's a completely different situation. The way they treated and saw head coverings back in the first century is very different from how we see it here today. We we wear them as fashion pieces. There's nothing inappropriate about that. But for them, it communicated something. Okay? So so that wouldn't be applicable to how we use head coverings today. But we can try to understand the theological principles. What are the timeless truths going on in this passage that can guide our practices today? [00:34:47] (42 seconds)  #ContextMatters

But when it comes to headship and authority in the home and in the church, we believe God has ordained this particular order according to his wisdom. If it were up to me, I would probably do it differently. But thank God that I'm not God. God is God, and I'm not. And if it were up to me, I would do it differently. But the best thing we can do as a church is to trust and obey his authority over our marriages and over our church, and we submit ourselves under the word of God. Amen? That's the best thing we can do. And so we trust him. [00:42:00] (35 seconds)  #TrustGodsOrder

And so let us run ours. Let's do our part. Wives, how can you honor the one who's the head of you? And men, how can you honor the one who is the head of you? And when we do, we ultimately lift up a banner, and we bring glory and honor to the one we run for, the one we reflect and represent, God. To God be all glory and honor. Amen? [00:59:44] (26 seconds)  #HonorAndGlorify

Now we have to ask ask the same question. Is the wife inferior to the husband in essence or value? No. Not at all. Is she less deserving of respect or honor? Absolutely not. Is she worth less? Nope. And in the same way, for the sake of order, God has ordained that the woman in marriage is to support her husband, who is the head of the house, while being lovingly led by him just as the father loves his son. There's two places in in the scriptures, in all of the bible where God establishes man's headship and his leadership. That's in the home that's under God and in the church that is under God. [00:38:27] (44 seconds)  #EqualWorthOrderedRoles

Wives, for you, how can you crown the man that you've married? And if he's not abusive but still is not the most loving and hard to honor, what does it look like to still honor him? And maybe it starting with let's not maliciously slander him when you totally should or could. Maybe it's not throwing him under the bus in front of everybody. Let's start there. And then let's lean on God to help us love the unlovable and show grace where extra grace is required. Lord, help me to not bring shame, but to honor where I can. [00:56:05] (40 seconds)  #GracefulHonoring

If if I I I pulled some Spamosube from the hospitality table. So after after a service, make sure you get your Spamosube. But in eating a Spamosube, which one is more important? And I would argue not one is more important than the other. Both of them will help me be fed and nourished. And so one will play a supporting role, and one will play a lead role. And together, they will fulfill the purpose. Right? Yeah. That's good. Now, I suppose you can switch the role. I suppose this could play the supporting role, and you could use the fork to to also take lead. And it could work, and you could reverse it, and it'll get the job done. But when we use it according to the creator's design, then he will say, that's how it's supposed to work. [00:45:43] (58 seconds)  #ComplementaryRoles

so I had these cheap $2 replacements, rubber rings from Amazon, and I lost it that week, and I didn't have time to replace it. And so she was right, but I appreciate her concern. She says, I I don't want you to be sending the wrong message to the church. So I was like, I I respect that. And so we went around, and we found a Sharpie, a a silver Sharpie, and we drew a we colored a ring onto my finger so as not to communicate the wrong thing. And so in the same way, it was kinda like a wedding ring in that head coverings function for women to declare, hey. I'm married. [00:32:08] (34 seconds)  #MarriageSignals

And I love that each runner on team USA, they did their part. They each ran the race as hard as they could, and they trusted the one ahead of them, and they handed off the baton. And I love that when Team USA when each men's and women's teams crossed the line, they crossed that they knew they took gold, and none of them I saw the videos for both. None of them was pointing to the name on their jersey saying, look at me. Look at me. This is who I am. No. Both teams, immediately when they crossed the line, they ran and they took the flag and they raised the banner. And this picture that you saw right there is them holding up not their names, but the one that they represent. The one they were running the race for. [00:58:25] (48 seconds)  #RunForTheBanner

the theological principle is keep yourself holy and consecrated, and do not confuse yourself with the worship of false gods. Set yourself apart. And if that's the timeless principle, you climb down a ladder here and now. It's not forbidding people to cut their hair shorts or get tattoos as personal acts of expression. But what does it look like in our day and age to not confuse ourself with the worship of modern day idols? How do we set ourselves apart? That would be the accurate application. [00:28:27] (30 seconds)  #SetApartFromIdols

I wanna say this is an accept you are an an exception to this. K? If if your husband at home has already abandoned his covenant to you by abusing you in any way in any way, Your priority is not to crown him. Your ability your your priority is to get covering, to be safe for you and your children. And my prayer is that South Bay Community Church, we would be a safe place for women like you. And I admit I admit that there's so much about this area that I'm learning and I I yet am to grow in. But I was talking with our pastors. We pray that this is a safe place where you can feel free to come and get help from from the leadership here. Okay? So so this is an exception. This does not apply to you. [00:51:50] (52 seconds)  #ProtectionOverSubmission

But what if later on tonight, I invite you to my home for, like, a prayer meeting or a bible study at my home. And other people are there, and you show up, and I open the door, and you see that all of us have our our shoes removed. Like, wouldn't think twice. Why? Because I'm at home. In fact, it's a Chinese home, so you better take off your shoes. Right? Like, you take off your shoes, and that's totally understandable in a private setting. So it could be that when the church got together in these home homes to worship together that some of them felt like I could just take it off because I'm not out in public. And Paul's saying, in this setting, just cover up. [00:34:03] (35 seconds)  #PrivateVsPublic

Before we get into the text, I I wanna share with you Danny, our media director, brought to the staff's attention a Google review we got this past week. It was a very good one. I wanna show it to you. This is from a Mark. I don't know, Mark, if you're here, but he he nailed it. He said a lot of good things. But here's one thing he said. He said, the church primarily teaches through the books of the bible. Yes. We do. Rather than having constant themed or topical messages. This is critical in teaching because going verse by verse forces the teacher to address the full beauty of God's word from the good to the uncomfortable and from the basic truths to even the challenging sections. [00:25:00] (43 seconds)  #VerseByVerseTeaching

And all of these considerations should flow out of this theological principle that Paul lays out for us. There's an order. God has created an order of headship and leadership in our lives, and we are always to honor our head. K? [00:56:55] (15 seconds)  #HonorEstablishedAuthority

Now during that time, remember, this is first century Corinth. Christianity is new. It's about 15 years old, 20 years old at the time. So there there aren't churches out in the city on every street corner that you just walk into. This is at a time when churches met in homes. They were house churches. And so in the home, it could be that that the the women were very comfortable in a private setting in a home to just let their hair down, like, literally to uncover their heads because we're in a home. It's kinda like this. I I thought about doing this. I thought about coming out to preach to you guys today with no shoes and socks on, just to make a point. [00:33:22] (34 seconds)  #HouseChurchContext

One of the ladies on our staff who sat in our preview and got to hear this message, she she gave a good suggestion. She said, why not just have a conversation with your husband and ask, is there anything I'm doing that's dishonoring to you right now? And how can I work on that? Or what can I do to to show you honor? And have that conversation. She said, that would help. If you met my wife, Juan Monica, you know she's a very modest person in her character and in her presentation. And yet, I I appreciate that a lot of times when we go out, Mondays are my day off. So we have Monday date days, or maybe we're going to a wedding or some event. She'll often ask, if it's questionable, she'll ask, how does this look? Is this okay? And she she'll just say, is this appropriate? And I appreciate that because that tells me she's not only thinking about herself as Monica Ma. [00:53:40] (51 seconds)  #TalkWithYourSpouse

There was one particular weekend here at the church when I was about to come up to to preach. And right before I came up, a member of our tech team pulled me aside. And she pulls me aside, and she says, hey, pastor Greg. I, hey. I noticed that you're not wearing your wedding ring today. And she was right. I didn't have my wedding ring that day because earlier that week, I was surfing, and my wedding ring fell off in the ocean. Don't worry. It wasn't my original wedding ring. I lost that a long time ago. And so [00:31:36] (31 seconds)  #WeddingRingSymbol

Well, Leviticus 19 is all about being holy. The people of God, the people of Israel to set themselves apart from the pagan culture, the worship of idols. And a lot of times people got tattoos where they would cut themselves as a way to, show reverence to the false idols, to the pagan gods. They would they would also priests would off often cut their hair short or trim their beards as a way to grieve. It was a mourning ritual for the dead as a way to communicate with the dead and also to honor the false gods. And so Leviticus 19 is [00:27:52] (35 seconds)  #SeparateFromPaganPractices