Glorifying God Through Intentional Marriage

Summary

### Summary

Welcome to our first-ever marriage conference! It's a joy to see so many of you here, both from our church and from other communities. My wife Lori and I have been married for 24 years, and our journey together has been a true blessing. However, I recognize that not everyone may feel the same about their marriage. The kind of deep, joyful relationship that many of us desire doesn't happen automatically; it requires intentionality and the right goals.

Marriage is not just about finding the right person or compatibility. It's about striving for a higher calling and a greater goal. The ultimate purpose of marriage is not merely to become soulmates but to glorify God. If our aim is solely to become soulmates, we might miss the mark. Instead, we should focus on God's design and purpose for marriage.

Marriage is a divine institution created by God, and if we want to experience success and joy in it, we must follow His instructions. Just like a lawnmower that malfunctions when not used according to the manual, our marriages can break down if we don't adhere to God's guidelines. Many of us enter marriage with little to no preparation, thinking that strong desire alone is enough. But just as a surgeon needs training, so do we need to be taught how to be married according to the Bible.

God's design for marriage serves three primary purposes: to glorify Him, for our good, and to be a picture of the Gospel. First, marriage is meant to bring glory to God. Everything in creation, including marriage, is designed to point back to Him. Second, marriage is for our good, not necessarily for our happiness or fulfillment. God uses all aspects of marriage—the joys and the hardships—to shape us into the image of Christ. Third, marriage is a living picture of the Gospel. It reflects Christ's sacrificial love for the church and serves as a testimony to the world.

Understanding these purposes can radically transform our marriages. As we continue this conference, let's keep these truths at the forefront of our minds and strive to align our marriages with God's design.

### Key Takeaways

1. Marriage Requires Intentionality: A fulfilling marriage doesn't happen by chance. It requires intentional effort and the right goals. The ultimate goal is not just to become soulmates but to glorify God through our relationship. This higher calling demands that we focus on God's design and purpose for marriage. [03:40]

2. God's Design for Marriage: God is the author of marriage, and His design is crucial for its success. Just as a lawnmower malfunctions when not used according to the manual, our marriages can break down if we don't follow God's guidelines. Understanding and adhering to His instructions can lead to a joyful and functional marriage. [13:58]

3. Marriage for God's Glory: The primary purpose of marriage is to glorify God. Everything in creation, including marriage, is designed to point back to Him. Our highest aim should be to highlight and shine a light on God's design, authority, provision, and love through our marriages. [27:05]

4. Marriage for Our Good: God uses all aspects of marriage—the joys and the hardships—for our good. His idea of "good" is to shape us into the image of Christ. Marriage serves as a living laboratory for character development and life change, helping us to become more like Jesus. [32:09]

5. Marriage as a Picture of the Gospel: Marriage is a living picture of the Gospel. It reflects Christ's sacrificial love for the church and serves as a testimony to the world. When we love, forgive, and serve our spouses, we are living out a picture of the Gospel, demonstrating God's love and grace. [36:49]

### YouTube Chapters

[0:00] - Welcome
[02:40] - Introduction and Personal Story
[04:51] - The Right Goal in Marriage
[05:44] - Marriage Longevity Activity
[09:57] - Importance of Being Here
[10:39] - Biblical Counseling Introduction
[13:05] - Who Taught You How to Be Married?
[13:58] - God's Design for Marriage
[17:07] - Following Instructions in Marriage
[19:29] - God's Redemption Plan
[21:36] - Rescue and Redemption in Christ
[23:35] - Reconciliation Through Christ
[26:16] - Why We Are Married
[27:05] - Marriage for God's Glory
[32:09] - Marriage for Our Good
[36:49] - Marriage as a Picture of the Gospel
[40:32] - Closing Prayer

Study Guide

### Bible Reading
1. 2 Corinthians 5:17-21: "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God."

2. Psalm 19:1: "The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands."

3. Romans 8:28-29: "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters."

### Observation Questions
1. According to 2 Corinthians 5:17-21, what does it mean to be a new creation in Christ?
2. How does Psalm 19:1 describe the way creation points to God?
3. In Romans 8:28-29, what does Paul say is God's purpose for those who love Him?
4. What are the three primary purposes of marriage as outlined in the sermon? [13:05]

### Interpretation Questions
1. How does understanding that marriage is meant to glorify God change the way one might approach their relationship with their spouse? [27:05]
2. What does it mean for marriage to be a "living laboratory for character development and life change"? How does this align with Romans 8:28-29? [32:09]
3. How can the concept of marriage as a picture of the Gospel influence the way couples handle conflicts and challenges? [36:49]
4. Why is it important to follow God's design and instructions for marriage, as illustrated by the lawnmower analogy in the sermon? [13:58]

### Application Questions
1. Reflect on your own marriage or a close relationship. How can you be more intentional in striving to glorify God through that relationship? [27:05]
2. Think about a recent conflict or challenge in your marriage. How can you view this situation as an opportunity for character development and becoming more like Christ? [32:09]
3. In what ways can you and your spouse work together to make your marriage a clearer picture of the Gospel to your children and those around you? [36:49]
4. Are there specific areas in your marriage where you have not been following God's design and instructions? What steps can you take to align more closely with His guidelines? [13:58]
5. How can you and your spouse support each other in the process of sanctification, especially during difficult times? [36:10]
6. Identify one practical way you can show sacrificial love to your spouse this week, reflecting Christ's love for the church. [37:53]
7. How can you incorporate regular prayer and Bible study into your marriage to ensure that you are both growing spiritually and aligning your relationship with God's purposes? [41:02]

Devotional

Day 1: Intentionality in Marriage
A fulfilling marriage doesn't happen by chance. It requires intentional effort and the right goals. The ultimate goal is not just to become soulmates but to glorify God through our relationship. This higher calling demands that we focus on God's design and purpose for marriage. [03:40]

Marriage is a journey that requires deliberate actions and a clear focus on the right objectives. Many people enter marriage with the hope of finding a soulmate, but this goal, while noble, is not the ultimate purpose of marriage. Instead, the primary aim should be to glorify God through the relationship. This means that every action, decision, and interaction within the marriage should be guided by the desire to honor God. When couples align their goals with God's design, they can experience a deeper, more fulfilling relationship that transcends mere compatibility.

Intentionality in marriage involves more than just effort; it requires a commitment to understanding and following God's purpose for the union. This includes studying the Bible, praying together, and seeking God's guidance in all aspects of the relationship. By doing so, couples can build a strong foundation that not only brings them closer to each other but also closer to God.

Colossians 3:17 (ESV): "And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him."

Reflection: What specific steps can you take today to ensure that your marriage is focused on glorifying God?

Day 2: Following God's Design
God is the author of marriage, and His design is crucial for its success. Just as a lawnmower malfunctions when not used according to the manual, our marriages can break down if we don't follow God's guidelines. Understanding and adhering to His instructions can lead to a joyful and functional marriage. [13:58]

Marriage, as designed by God, comes with specific guidelines and principles that are essential for its success. Just like any complex system, marriage requires adherence to its "manual"—the Bible. When couples ignore these divine instructions, they risk experiencing breakdowns and dysfunctions in their relationship. God's design for marriage includes mutual respect, love, sacrifice, and a commitment to each other's well-being. By following these principles, couples can create a harmonious and joyful union.

Understanding God's design for marriage involves studying the Bible and seeking wisdom from spiritual mentors. It also means being open to correction and willing to make changes that align with God's will. When couples commit to following God's guidelines, they can experience a marriage that not only survives but thrives, bringing glory to God and joy to their lives.

Ephesians 5:21-25 (ESV): "Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her."

Reflection: Are there any areas in your marriage where you are not following God's design? How can you realign with His guidelines today?

Day 3: Glorifying God Through Marriage
The primary purpose of marriage is to glorify God. Everything in creation, including marriage, is designed to point back to Him. Our highest aim should be to highlight and shine a light on God's design, authority, provision, and love through our marriages. [27:05]

Marriage is not just a social contract or a means to personal happiness; it is a divine institution created to glorify God. Every aspect of marriage, from the way couples interact to how they handle challenges, should reflect God's glory. This means that the ultimate goal of marriage is not self-fulfillment but to honor and magnify God's name. When couples focus on glorifying God, their relationship becomes a powerful testimony of His love, grace, and provision.

To glorify God through marriage, couples must prioritize their spiritual growth and seek to embody Christ-like qualities such as love, patience, forgiveness, and humility. This involves regular prayer, Bible study, and worship together. By making God the center of their marriage, couples can experience a deeper connection with each other and with Him, ultimately fulfilling the divine purpose of their union.

1 Corinthians 10:31 (ESV): "So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God."

Reflection: How can you and your spouse intentionally glorify God in your daily interactions and decisions?

Day 4: Marriage for Our Good
God uses all aspects of marriage—the joys and the hardships—for our good. His idea of "good" is to shape us into the image of Christ. Marriage serves as a living laboratory for character development and life change, helping us to become more like Jesus. [32:09]

Marriage is a unique environment where God works to shape and mold us into the image of Christ. This process involves both the joys and the challenges that come with being in a committed relationship. While many people enter marriage seeking happiness and fulfillment, God's primary goal is our spiritual growth and character development. Through the ups and downs of marriage, God teaches us important lessons about love, patience, forgiveness, and selflessness.

By embracing the challenges of marriage as opportunities for growth, couples can develop a deeper understanding of God's love and grace. This perspective allows them to see difficulties not as obstacles but as tools for spiritual refinement. As they navigate the complexities of marriage, they become more like Christ, reflecting His character in their relationship and to the world around them.

James 1:2-4 (ESV): "Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."

Reflection: What recent challenges in your marriage can you view as opportunities for spiritual growth and character development?

Day 5: Marriage as a Picture of the Gospel
Marriage is a living picture of the Gospel. It reflects Christ's sacrificial love for the church and serves as a testimony to the world. When we love, forgive, and serve our spouses, we are living out a picture of the Gospel, demonstrating God's love and grace. [36:49]

Marriage is designed to be a tangible representation of the Gospel, showcasing Christ's sacrificial love for the church. In a world that often misunderstands or undervalues marriage, a Christ-centered union stands as a powerful testimony of God's love and grace. When couples love, forgive, and serve each other, they are not only strengthening their relationship but also demonstrating the Gospel to those around them. This sacrificial love mirrors Christ's love for the church, making marriage a living illustration of the Gospel message.

To live out this picture of the Gospel, couples must prioritize love, forgiveness, and service in their relationship. This involves daily acts of kindness, patience, and selflessness, as well as a commitment to resolving conflicts in a Christ-like manner. By embodying these qualities, couples can reflect the transformative power of the Gospel in their marriage, serving as a beacon of hope and love to the world.

Ephesians 5:31-32 (ESV): "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church."

Reflection: How can your marriage better reflect the Gospel to those around you? What specific actions can you take to demonstrate Christ's love and grace to your spouse today?

Quotes

### Quotes for Outreach

1. "Marriage is hard, and I think we could all benefit from some encouragement, whether you've been married for 50 plus, or you've been married for just over a year. It is good that you are here. In fact, here's what I want you to do. I want you to do husbands. Turn to your wife right now and say, thank you for being here. Thank you for being here with me today." [09:57] (18 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)

2. "Marriage is one of those things that, you know, sometimes we've longed for, for maybe since we were children, right? We've looked forward to being married for a long time, to building a home and raising children, if the Lord blesses. But simply because we desire it, even strongly desire it, doesn't mean that we're adequately prepared for it." [12:30] (22 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)

3. "God is the designer and the originator, the author of marriage. And if we have any hope, any hope whatsoever of experiencing success or blessing or joy or even basic functionality in marriage, then we must consult and follow God's instructions." [13:58] (19 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)

4. "Sin is the source of what is wrong in the world. And sin is the source of the trouble and the hurt and the pain in your marriage. But the Bible also provides for us the solution to what has gone wrong. Now, the world would say that in order to fix what is wrong in the world, we need more education. Just teach people what's best and they'll do it." [20:36] (25 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)

5. "Health and harmony in marriage begins with being right with God. Knowing that your sins have been paid for by Jesus Christ, a spouse can only extend the love and the forgiveness and the reconciliation that they have first received. Living out God's design in marriage begins by living out God's design in our individual lives." [24:52] (31 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)

### Quotes for Members

1. "There is a greater goal in marriage than simply the relationship between husband and wife. There's a higher calling to strive for. In fact, I would say this. If your goal is simply about becoming soulmates or whatever that means, I dare say you won't attain it." [04:51] (22 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)

2. "Marriage is a living laboratory for character development and life change. The Bible calls that sanctification. It's the process of being formed into the image of Christ. My wife lovingly reminds me of this truth. When the kids are... just the volume is rising and they're getting on my last nerve or some unexpected thing blindsides me or some challenge hits my desk or when some disappointment comes our way or something just doesn't go right, I'll get all frustrated, you know, because I'm human. And she will say, honey, it's for your sanctification." [35:35] (52 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)

3. "Marriage is described in Scripture as a way to connect the gospel, but also marriage as we experience it is intended to be a picture of the gospel to your spouse, to your children, and to a watching world. So how can your marriage picture the gospel? Well, when you love your spouse when they don't deserve it, then you are like Romans 5-8 when God demonstrates His love for us in this, that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." [37:18] (39 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)

4. "God's purpose for marriage is for God's glory. You see, God has one overarching purpose for all of His creation, and that is to bring glory to Himself. His purpose for creating all things is to display His glory in it. We have some passages to consider here. Psalm 19.1 says, The heavens declare the glory of God. The skies proclaim His handiwork or His hands." [27:05] (33 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)

5. "God is using all things. So that means within your marriage, He's using all of the joys, and all of the laughter, and all of the fun, for your good. But all things also includes all of the hardships, all of the difficulties, and all of the pain for your good. Well, wait a minute. I don't think... How can that be for my good? I mean, I don't think that's good. Do you think that's good? That doesn't feel good. It doesn't feel good for me. Well, God defines good differently than we might." [33:10] (49 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)

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Transcript

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