From Thirst to Fulfillment: Embracing Our Higher Story

"Everyone in this room has a story. I'm going to use the Whiteboard if you can. I hope you can see it on the Sid you can see okay on the side over uh everyone has a story this is you you you have a story everybody has a story and then everybody has a story that has a desire at the end of the story this is your heart's desire uh and you're moving along in your life and you if if you are honest you want this to connect pretty well here my my life story I I want a I want a healthy life story I want a Victorious life story and most of us have a a very clear heart's desire." [00:37:12]

"The reality is though we all have John orberg says this we all have a story but we never get the story we want have you ever experienced that everybody has a story but nobody gets the story that they actually want the story has all kinds of twists and turns difficulties trials tribulations troubles and and so the story kind of goes like this I'm I'm looking for my heart's desire I I want to be a great preacher I want to build a big church I I I I want to touch millions of people I want to you know have these big sweeping Desires in my heart and they're good to have those desires but the reality is you come across all kinds of failures and difficult difficulties and trials and tribulations and sinful patterns that you have to overcome and all of a sudden this heart's desire that you once felt so strong about seems so far away." [00:82:68]

"Can I tell you something the Lord told me these are not failures these are redirections you see my desire was I'm G to become a man of notoriety I'm going to become successful I'm G to become well known I'm GNA be do something big with my life but failure after failure what I thought was failure was actually the Holy Spirit redirecting my my life where he where I finally realized this heart's desire here is actually my I would call it my lower story I'll just write lower there my my lower story it's it's the one that I wanted for myself but God never intended for me and it and it was because of all these things happening that I realized like that's really not what God wants for me and and it and it took some struggles and it took some difficulties and it took some heartaches it took some pain and it took some honesty to assess these things to finally realize that's really the lower story to become known to to to to walk into a room people go oh there's Gary Wilkerson that's that's such a low story isn't it is that really our heart's desire to to build something big to do something Earth shattering to become known for that thing that we're doing and all of a sudden the lord gave me a higher gave me back he gave me a new heart's desire a brand new heart's desire desire you know I'll just share it with you I just want to love people I do that's that's my new story and that and it took all this to get rid of this and he gave me a higher story now and and he gave that Pastor a he gave that Pastor a higher story he he gave that woman a higher story that that that really what we're after is to be loved by God and to love God to have a group of people around us that love us richly deeply truly and and to love people around us with a pure heart a heart after God." [00:462:08]

"Everyone has a story and not everybody gets the story they want nobody gets the story they really want the next thing I want to say to you is is each of us have a story that we don't want to tell somebody um you following me there there's a story of that you're afraid to tell somebody there there's a story that you're uh hiding it's the story you would be most shamed to tell somebody like that man who came to me and said I haven't told anybody this it happened to me when I was 12 years old 30 40 Years of holding that story in and when he told me it was a relief it was Freedom coming and everybody in this room has a story and the story that you most don't want to tell okay can you think of that like not I wouldn't ask you to come up here on a microphone and tell us all your that story but somebody somebody that you trust to to sit down with them and say I've never told anybody this but but here's here's some of the struggles that I'm going through everybody has a story that they want to hide but I want to say to you the story that you most want the story you're most afraid to tell is the story you need most need to tell am that that's that's the one that's in your heart because that's the one that's causing the shame that's the one that you're hiding that's the one that you're that that's you're you're putting on a facade that's the one where you're not being really real and so I want to encourage you to find somebody in your life where you could tell that story to an unedited fashion not not the preacher kind of story like preachers always tell stories uh when I was 20 years old 50 years ago I struggled with pornography you know that's safe to say yeah was 50 years ago what about what what sin are you struggling with now you know you're still angry you're you're still selfish you know and so those stories are the stories we need we really need to tell somebody but the Christian Community has has put on such a facade we we put on an external uh we don't want to tell people where we hurt we're afraid there's a lot of reasons for that." [00:609:72]

"The talmud writes about ancient U Hebrew Jewish history and tomwood writes about an event that took place in the first century uh it was in the temple they called it an ancient the tmu calls it an ancient Temple ritual and every year the they would have a a huge Festival in the temple and people would come from Jerusalem Judea Samaria other even other most parts of the world they would come and uh Jerusalem is up on a higher elevation than most of the region around it and then the temple has stairs going up to it and then so so you're up there and this Temple is this huge Temple it's about they say about 30 football fields could fit within the out Outer Court of the walls surrounding the temple so it's this huge place and people would come by the scores thousands and thousands and thousands of people would come into the temple during these times and and the rabbis and the priests would stand at the entrance of the temple so as people were walking into the temple and there's this big huge Temple around here the the the priest would say to the people coming in is it well with you and the people would say many of them would say it Is Well With Me the Lord has blessed Jehovah has been good good to me we we we are giving thanks and so the rabbis and the priests would say turn to your right and as you walk around the the walls of the outer Court begin to praise the Lord give him thanks for the good things he's done in your life shout Praises dance sing just rejoice and the people were were so excited they were happy to do that if when they ask that question is it well with you if somebody would have said No it's it's a it's not been a it's not been a a year that I I will still thank the Lord but my heart is breaking there's there's pain within me there's there's suffering there's a memory of a voice that somebody said to me I'm fat and ugly there's there's an abusive situation that took place there there's a marriage problem that I can't seem to resolve my kids are uh you know out there in the world and they're not following God and and it just breaks my heart or it's like it's like the experience that my wife and I've had just a few months ago our conference director uh Rob Lao who helped us lead this conf conference last year just uh two months ago uh passed away in his sleep a massive heart attack his wife is now our conference director she's here Lisa can we put our hands together for Lisa yes we love you Lisa so grateful uh for you to pick up that Manel and and keep pressing on and uh we miss Rob so much I'm actually I don't know if you can dedicate a conference to somebody but can we just dedicate this conference to Rob Lao and uh and just thank God for his powerful life." [00:744:92]

"The ancient T ritual Temple ritual says that when the people who are walking around to the left would encounter the people who walking around to the right as they would pass them the people who were you know having a good season in life would turn to those who are walking left and say some very simple things to them saying we see you was one of the things they were recorded as saying or we are with you we're we're here for you we're we believe in you we're we're praying for for you and and and just those just those words sometimes there was there was some recording in the Tom which said sometimes people would pass somebody and they would say we're here for you pass somebody else we see you pass somebody else we're praying for you pass somebody else it's going to be well God's with you and all of a sudden they would turn around and go like hey that's all I needed I just needed a little bit of encouragement I needed to be honest to tell my story I I need to go left and a lot of church people are willing to go left but leaders are not as willing to go left we want to protect our reputation we want to put on the facade that all is well and the problem with that is it gets stuck in our gut we we have this pain we have this sorrow we have this sinful habit with inside of us that we're not telling anybody about we're struggling with certain things and it gets repressed down inside of us and it begins to pop up in even worse scenarios and before long you're falling into sin before long you have to quit the ministry before long you're exposed and I want to encourage you allow yourself to tell your story to somebody else before the News tells your story tell your story to a friend that you can trust that they can walk with you through that and help you through that Pastor leader friend you are not above the struggles of life you are not Beyond getting hurt you're not Beyond being lonely you're not Out Of Reach of Satan's temptation to try to drag you down and if you do life alone if you walk into the temple and turn right and say oh everything's fine but inside your heart is crumbling inside the weight on your shoulders is overwhelming you and you're just walking around in the right yeah praise God hallelujah everything's fine it's time to stop it it's time to get honest it's time to quit hiding it's time to put the facade down and say I don't care what anybody thinks about me I don't care about my reputation I don't care about my paycheck as hard as I might be to say that I don't care whether I get disqualified from Ministry or not I'm going to talk to some bu some friends a counselor a pastor some supervisor in Ministry and I'm going to tell him my honest story I'm going to tell him the hurt of my heart I'm going to tell them the Brokenness I'm going to tell my marriage is in a in a painful place I'm going to tell them my my kids are struggling and it's hurting my heart I'm going to share these things with somebody because pastors and Christian leaders are some of the loneliest people I've ever met in my life isolated lot lot of us just we just say to ourselves I I I'll turn right I'll just keep praising the Lord because it's just me and Jesus we can work this thing out you know and we sing those songs Don't We like he's all I need he's all I need Jesus is all I need it's a great song but the problem is it's not true oh you're looking at me like put that on your heresy Hunter website okay um he himself said it's not good for you to be alone and we're telling no you I don't need anybody I just need you that's that's Pride now we need Jesus first and foremost above far beyond anything else but he tells us it's not good for us to be alone he tells us in the New Testament 52 times about the one anothers of scripture right belong to one another share with one another be generous to one another pray for one another 52 times one another's we we can't just keep saying it's just me and you Jesus it has to be me and you Jesus but it has to be him saying other people are needed in our life we need to connect with some people and get real with them because we are living in a difficult season in the Pastoral Ministry of many pastors failing and I say you can nip it at the bud if you start sooner before the problem gets out of hand you can start sooner the loneliness doesn't have to you the the fear doesn't have to diminish your faith and confidence you can go on with the things of Jesus Christ you don't have to say it's just me and Jesus alone you don't have to fear you don't have to have feel like have a reputation you don't have to try to be alone you need people in your life right you need people in your life." [00:1082:91]

"Community can solve a lot of problems that we can't solve on our own when we're isolated we need something to help soothe the pain of our life but when you're in community when you have people around you when you have friends pastors please have friends have people that you can talk to pour out your heart to people can I share something that's usually not shared in mixed company but I had a friend two three weeks ago he said uh Gary you're my close friend and uh I asked my wife if we could have sex and she said no and I went and I masturbated and and I just need to tell you tell you that cuz I I don't want to do that again I'm so sorry and I prayed for him and and we just we just had a had a really good talk and he's just he had freedom it was like the confession remember James tells us confess to one another do we do we practice that anymore do we do we practice that confession and so so so this idea of of of talking to one another and and sharing our hearts with one another is something that I believe God wants us to have." [00:1488:84]

"Let somebody care for you be be be be willing to let somebody minister to you you're always giving away you're always pouring out your life but let somebody pour into you and then be a healthy vessel be a healthy vessel to allow people to speak into your life and don't make it just about the crowds make it about the individual people in your life get to know them share with them speak with them listen to their stories provide an environment that's safe and clean and holy and healthy so that they when they tell their story somebody told me a story of a church I was speaking out on the west coast a very large church and she told me the story and it was horrific I mean like I cannot believe that happened to you sweetheart sister my heart breaks for you what did the pastors and leaders of this church say to you and she said they they I never could get an appointment I I've never told anybody they they're not they're they're busy preaching sermons but but but but we need people there's a group of Elders down in the front that care for this congregation I know that I see them they care for me when I walk in the doors here and and and that's the kind of healthy church that that you're seeing here this church is healthy not just because it has good preaching and good worship it's healthy because it loves people it was founded by my father and he said this is the church that love built that was the original modotto and and and we want to encourage you to allow your church to be like that." [00:1836:48]

"The joy of ministry is really knowing you very well Jesus it's loving you deeply and being loved by you and then out of that pouring out that love being a vessel to pour out love to everyone we meet whether they're a member of our church or somebody we beat on the street so I pray over these pastors and leaders right now Jesus in my in my simple way I've just tried to communicate tonight that you love them and you want to have them open up their heart to tell their story in a way that could be very healing to them that they could be healed of that broken heart they could be healed of that hurt and so right now while your hand is raised in the name of Jesus I pray healing over you I pray healing tonight I pray healing of this next week that this conference would be the launch of a journey for them to move into a greater realm of love and joy and peace and and righteousness in the Holy Spirit we thank you for this in Jesus precious name praise the Lord thank you guys." [00:2012:96]