From Rebellion to Redemption: A Journey of Faith
Summary
### Summary
Hello, family. Today, I shared my personal journey of faith, a story marked by profound loss, rebellion, and ultimately, redemption. My parents separated when I was very young, and my mother, a devout Baptist, raised my siblings and me in a deeply religious environment despite our poverty. Tragically, my mother passed away when I was 15, leading me to a path of rebellion and self-destruction. I turned away from God, delving into Wiccanism and paganism for 25 years, becoming hardened against Christianity.
In 2016, my life took a dramatic turn when I found out I was pregnant under life-threatening conditions. Despite medical advice to terminate the pregnancy, I chose to keep my baby, Dante. During this time, I threw a desperate prayer to God, asking for my baby's safety. Miraculously, Dante was born healthy, and I survived. This event marked the beginning of my spiritual awakening.
In April 2017, I had a vivid dream where I encountered Jesus. This dream profoundly changed me, breaking down my hardened heart and filling me with an overwhelming sense of love and peace. I woke up with an unshakable compulsion to seek out a church and a pastor. This led me to Trinity Church, where I began my journey back to Christianity.
Since then, I have been actively involved in the church, seeking to understand my faith and share it with others. My dream revealed to me that we are called to continue Jesus' work, spreading His word and love. I realized that no one is ever too far gone for God's grace. My story is a testament to the transformative power of God's love and the importance of forgiveness and reconciliation.
### Key Takeaways
1. The Power of a Mother's Faith: Growing up in a devout household, my mother's unwavering faith in God laid a foundation that would later become a lifeline for me. Her dedication to prayer, church, and Christian values instilled in me a deep-seated knowledge of God's presence, even when I strayed far from it. This early exposure to faith can be a guiding light in times of darkness. [02:52]
2. Rebellion and Redemption: After my mother's death, I rebelled against God, engaging in self-destructive behaviors and turning to paganism. However, my story illustrates that no matter how far we stray, God's grace is always within reach. The journey back to faith may be long and arduous, but it is never too late to return to God's embrace. [04:15]
3. Miraculous Intervention: During a high-risk pregnancy, I refused medical advice to terminate, placing my trust in God. The birth of my healthy son, Dante, was a miracle that reignited my faith. This experience taught me that God listens to our desperate prayers and can intervene in the most dire circumstances, reaffirming His presence and power in our lives. [08:53]
4. A Transformative Dream: My dream of encountering Jesus was a pivotal moment that shattered my defenses and filled me with His love and peace. This dream was not just a vision but a profound spiritual experience that redefined my life. It showed me that Jesus' love is transformative, capable of breaking through the hardest of hearts and leading us back to Him. [12:32]
5. Continuing Jesus' Work: The dream also revealed a deeper calling—to continue Jesus' work by spreading His word and love. The scattered papers in my dream symbolized the Word of God, and picking them up signified our responsibility to share His message. This calling is a reminder that we are all part of God's plan, tasked with carrying forward His mission of love and salvation. [19:03]
### YouTube Chapters
[0:00] - Welcome
[0:30] - Early Life and Faith
[02:52] - Tragic Loss and Rebellion
[04:15] - Path of Self-Destruction
[05:24] - Embracing Paganism
[06:13] - High-Risk Pregnancy
[07:49] - Preparing for the Worst
[08:53] - A Miraculous Birth
[10:03] - The Transformative Dream
[12:32] - Encounter with Jesus
[14:21] - Seeking a Church
[15:48] - Finding Trinity Church
[16:45] - Easter Sunday Revelation
[17:54] - Mission Trip and Baptism
[19:03] - Continuing Jesus' Work
[19:56] - The Prodigal Daughter
[20:34] - Never Too Far Gone
[23:32] - Reconciliation and Forgiveness
[24:38] - Active in the Church
[26:37] - Daily Devotion and Growth
Study Guide
### Bible Study Discussion Guide
#### Bible Reading
1. Luke 15:11-32 - The Parable of the Prodigal Son
2. Psalm 34:18 - "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."
3. Romans 5:8 - "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."
#### Observation Questions
1. What was the significance of the dream the speaker had in April 2017? How did it change her life? [12:32]
2. How did the speaker's mother's faith influence her early life and later decisions? [02:52]
3. What were the medical challenges the speaker faced during her pregnancy, and how did she respond to them? [06:13]
4. How did the speaker's encounter with Jesus in her dream affect her view on her past life and future actions? [12:32]
#### Interpretation Questions
1. In what ways does the speaker's story reflect the message of the Parable of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-32)? How does her return to faith illustrate this parable? [19:56]
2. How does Psalm 34:18 relate to the speaker's experience of loss and her eventual spiritual awakening? [02:52]
3. Romans 5:8 speaks of God's love for us even when we are sinners. How does this verse resonate with the speaker's journey from rebellion to redemption? [19:56]
4. What does the speaker's story teach us about the power of prayer and faith in seemingly hopeless situations? [08:53]
#### Application Questions
1. Reflect on a time when you felt distant from God. What steps did you take, or could you take, to reconnect with Him? [04:15]
2. The speaker's mother's faith had a lasting impact on her. How can you cultivate a faith that influences those around you, especially in your family? [02:52]
3. The speaker faced significant medical advice to terminate her pregnancy but chose to trust in God. Have you ever faced a situation where you had to trust God against all odds? How did you handle it? [06:13]
4. The dream the speaker had was transformative. Have you ever had a spiritual experience that changed your perspective or actions? How did it affect your faith journey? [12:32]
5. The speaker felt a strong compulsion to seek out a church and pastor after her dream. How do you respond when you feel a strong spiritual prompting? [15:12]
6. The speaker's story emphasizes that no one is ever too far gone for God's grace. Is there someone in your life who you feel is beyond reach? How can you show them God's love and grace? [19:56]
7. The speaker's involvement in the church helped her grow in her faith. What steps can you take to become more involved in your church community and grow spiritually? [24:38]
Devotional
Day 1: The Foundation of a Mother's Faith
Growing up in a devout household, a mother's unwavering faith in God can lay a foundation that becomes a lifeline in times of darkness. This early exposure to faith, even if it seems dormant for years, can resurface and guide one back to God. The seeds of faith planted by a parent can be a guiding light, providing strength and hope when life becomes challenging. This foundation is not just about religious practices but about instilling a deep-seated knowledge of God's presence and love.
In the story, the speaker's mother, despite their poverty, raised her children in a deeply religious environment. Her dedication to prayer, church, and Christian values left an indelible mark on the speaker, even when she strayed far from it. This early exposure to faith became a lifeline during her darkest moments, reminding us of the profound impact a parent's faith can have on their children. [02:52]
Deuteronomy 6:6-7 (ESV): "And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise."
Reflection: Think about the spiritual foundation laid by your parents or guardians. How has it influenced your faith journey? If you are a parent, how can you intentionally instill faith in your children today?
Day 2: Rebellion and Redemption
No matter how far one strays from God, His grace is always within reach. The journey back to faith may be long and arduous, but it is never too late to return to God's embrace. This takeaway emphasizes the transformative power of God's grace and the possibility of redemption, regardless of past actions or beliefs.
After the death of her mother, the speaker rebelled against God, engaging in self-destructive behaviors and turning to paganism. However, her story illustrates that God's grace is always available, and redemption is possible for everyone. This journey back to faith, though challenging, is a testament to God's unwavering love and forgiveness. [04:15]
Isaiah 1:18 (ESV): "Come now, let us reason together, says the Lord: though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool."
Reflection: Reflect on a time when you felt far from God. What steps can you take today to draw closer to Him and embrace His grace and forgiveness?
Day 3: Miraculous Intervention
Placing trust in God during dire circumstances can lead to miraculous outcomes. This takeaway highlights the power of desperate prayers and God's ability to intervene in our lives, reaffirming His presence and power. It encourages believers to trust in God's plan, even when faced with seemingly insurmountable challenges.
During a high-risk pregnancy, the speaker refused medical advice to terminate, placing her trust in God. The birth of her healthy son, Dante, was a miracle that reignited her faith. This experience taught her that God listens to our desperate prayers and can intervene in the most dire circumstances, reaffirming His presence and power in our lives. [08:53]
Psalm 34:17-18 (ESV): "When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit."
Reflection: Think of a challenging situation you are currently facing. How can you place your trust in God and seek His intervention through prayer today?
Day 4: A Transformative Dream
Encountering Jesus in a profound spiritual experience can shatter defenses and fill one with His love and peace. This takeaway emphasizes the transformative power of Jesus' love, capable of breaking through the hardest of hearts and leading individuals back to Him. It highlights the importance of being open to spiritual experiences and the impact they can have on one's faith journey.
The speaker's dream of encountering Jesus was a pivotal moment that shattered her defenses and filled her with His love and peace. This dream was not just a vision but a profound spiritual experience that redefined her life. It showed her that Jesus' love is transformative, capable of breaking through the hardest of hearts and leading us back to Him. [12:32]
Acts 2:17 (ESV): "And in the last days it shall be, God declares, that I will pour out my Spirit on all flesh, and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, and your young men shall see visions, and your old men shall dream dreams."
Reflection: Have you ever had a spiritual experience that profoundly impacted your faith? How can you remain open to such experiences and allow them to transform your relationship with Jesus?
Day 5: Continuing Jesus' Work
Believers are called to continue Jesus' work by spreading His word and love. This takeaway emphasizes the responsibility of sharing God's message and being part of His plan. It encourages believers to actively participate in spreading the gospel and embodying Jesus' love in their daily lives.
The speaker's dream revealed a deeper calling—to continue Jesus' work by spreading His word and love. The scattered papers in her dream symbolized the Word of God, and picking them up signified our responsibility to share His message. This calling is a reminder that we are all part of God's plan, tasked with carrying forward His mission of love and salvation. [19:03]
Matthew 28:19-20 (ESV): "Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age."
Reflection: How can you actively participate in spreading Jesus' word and love today? What specific actions can you take to share the gospel with those around you?
Quotes
1. "We lost our mom, we lost our home, we lost our friends, we lost our church, we lost our faith, and I was very, very mad at God. I was 15 and struggling with all of it, so I did what most 15-year-olds do, I rebelled. I rebelled hard. I was very suicidal for a while, and then I proceeded to do every sin I could to put as much space between me and God. I was done with God." [02:52] (41 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
2. "I was determined I was going to be pagan for life. That was it. Done deal. Then in 2016, I found out I was pregnant. I was not feeling good, and I had gone to urgent care because I was having trouble breathing. And I found out I had bronchitis. I had pneumonia. I was pregnant. I had high blood pressure. And they found a blood clot. And my leg. It was a cocktail of fun for my doctor." [05:24] (34 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
3. "I was then sat a month later in front of a specialist who again strongly advised me to consider terminating. Because due to the high blood pressure, there was a very, very, very strong factor that I was probably going to have a stroke while in labor. If I didn't have a stroke, the blood thinners I was on for the clot would mean that I would bleed out when I had my baby. And I took it all in and again refused to terminate my pregnancy." [06:13] (33 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
4. "So for the rest of 2016, I planned for my death. I spoke to my employer about my death benefits. I made sure I had life insurance. I added my husband to it. wrote a will. And then I had to call my two older sons in New York that I might not make it. Sorry. So the doctors decided that they wanted to induce my labor because they wanted as much control over the whole situation as possible." [07:49] (39 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
5. "I was walking knee deep in water. I was in a house collecting food supplies, different things. And I was traveling with a family, a man, a father and two girls, and then it was myself and Dante. And we met up, and we decided we were going to hike out of town and get to high ground to get away from the flooding. So we start tromping through the town to get to high ground. And as we're crossing through the center of town, this mob is on a collision course with us, approaching us, and they're pushing a man in front of them." [10:03] (36 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
6. "And he looked at me with love I have never seen in my entire life. It just washed over me. And in that moment, it broke me. I was reduced to nothing. I was overwhelmed and just completely taken down and then completely reshaped, reformed. I was reborn in that moment. I was his for sure. And I'm looking at him, and then I look up to the crowd, and the soldier is standing in the background, and the soldier is in full Roman gear. And the crowd is all in ancient robes and turbans." [12:32] (49 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
7. "I can completely understand how Jesus can walk up to people and say, follow me. And they just drop what they're doing and do so. Because he could tell me anything. He could have told me to do whatever. I would have done it. To be in his presence. To be washed over by his love. Just being there. Nothing else in this world matters. Nothing else. Than just being by him." [19:03] (32 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
8. "And secondly, I was the prodigal daughter. I am the black sheep. And he came and he found me. He made time for me. And he didn't have to. And I didn't think I'd ever, ever come back. I thought I was going to die. I was too far gone. I was buried. Buried in sin. And I'm telling you, you're never too far gone. That you need God, all you have to do is lift your hand and he is right there. Right there." [19:56] (37 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
9. "I really want to shine God's light into the world, too, because I know that there are many me's out there. And if I could just touch some other people and just let them know that God's right there waiting. Just right there. I've been doing, I've been reading through the Bible. We've been doing reviews together to understand it. I've been doing a lot of Bible study. I try to get in as many as I can. I do a lot of prayer. I also play a lot of Christian music." [26:37] (37 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
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