From Jealousy to Joy: Embracing Grief with God
Summary
### Summary
Today, I shared a deeply personal journey that my family and I have been on for the past five years, following my daughter Ava's traumatic brain injury. This journey has been filled with immense challenges, including Ava's extensive medical needs and the emotional toll it has taken on us. Despite the hardships, we have also witnessed countless miracles and moments of joy. However, the focus of my talk was on the darker aspects of my heart that were revealed through this experience, particularly jealousy.
Jealousy is a complex and often hidden emotion that can destroy our sense of contentment and make us dissatisfied with our lives. It can be rooted in various desires, whether material possessions, relationships, or opportunities. I shared how my own jealousy often stems from grief over unmet desires and unfulfilled dreams. This grief is not just about the loss itself but also about the deeper questions it raises about God's presence and actions in our lives.
I emphasized that jealousy can reveal what we most deeply desire, and recognizing this can help us move from jealousy to a more productive path. However, it's crucial to acknowledge that some desires may never be attainable, and this realization can lead to grief. This grief, if left unaddressed, can turn into jealousy and bitterness. But by bringing our grief to God and being honest about our feelings, we can experience true peace and freedom.
I concluded by sharing a vision God gave me, where I walked through a forest with Jesus, carrying a heavy backpack filled with life's burdens. This vision illustrated the process of unpacking our grief and allowing Jesus to share the load, even if He doesn't take it all away. The journey is ongoing, but with God's companionship, we can continue to move forward, knowing that He is with us every step of the way.
### Key Takeaways
1. Jealousy as a Revealer of Deep Desires: Jealousy often points to what we most deeply desire but feel we cannot attain. Recognizing this can help us understand our true longings and bring them before God for healing and transformation. [33:10]
2. Grief as the Root of Jealousy: Many times, our jealousy is actually unrecognized and unreconciled grief over unmet desires and unfulfilled dreams. Acknowledging this grief can help us move away from jealousy and towards a deeper relationship with God. [41:26]
3. The Duality of Grief and Joy: Life can be both wonderful and hard at the same time. Embracing this duality allows us to experience joy even in the midst of grief, without letting jealousy rob us of the blessings we do have. [47:50]
4. God's Companionship in Our Grief: Bringing our grief to God and being honest about our feelings allows us to experience His peace. God may not always take away our burdens, but He shares the load and walks with us through our struggles. [49:55]
5. The Eternal Perspective: Our deepest desires and longings point to a place where God will fulfill every desire of our heart. While we may experience grief and unmet desires in this life, we have the hope of complete fulfillment in God's presence in the next. [48:37]
### YouTube Chapters
[0:00] - Welcome
[23:45] - Introduction and Family Background
[24:53] - Authenticity of Church Volunteers
[25:36] - Personal Journey with Ava's Accident
[28:02] - Ava's Medical Complexities
[29:16] - The Myth of "God Doesn't Give Us More Than We Can Handle"
[30:31] - The Reality of Daily Struggles
[32:25] - The Struggle with Jealousy
[33:10] - Jealousy Reveals Deep Desires
[35:15] - Biblical Perspective on Jealousy
[36:28] - Types of Jealousy
[37:49] - The Sin is in the Jealousy, Not the Desire
[39:10] - Jealousy and Grief
[41:26] - Grief Over Unmet Desires
[44:03] - The Role of Lament in Healing
[46:00] - Grieving God's "No"
[47:50] - The Duality of Grief and Joy
[49:16] - The Hope of Heaven
[49:55] - God's Companionship in Our Grief
[54:24] - Show and Tell: Ava's Go Bag
[55:41] - Vision of Walking with Jesus Through the Forest
Study Guide
### Bible Study Discussion Guide
#### Bible Reading
1. Proverbs 14:30 (NIV) - "A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones."
2. James 3:14-16 (NIV) - "But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such 'wisdom' does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice."
3. 1 Corinthians 13:4-5 (NIV) - "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs."
#### Observation Questions
1. According to Proverbs 14:30, what are the contrasting effects of a peaceful heart and envy on the body?
2. In James 3:14-16, what are the characteristics and consequences of harboring envy and selfish ambition?
3. How does 1 Corinthians 13:4-5 describe love in relation to envy and other negative behaviors?
4. What personal experiences did Lindsay share that revealed the presence of jealousy in her heart? ([32:25])
#### Interpretation Questions
1. How does recognizing jealousy as a revealer of deep desires help in understanding our true longings and bringing them before God for healing? ([33:10])
2. What does Lindsay mean when she says that jealousy is often rooted in unrecognized and unreconciled grief? How does this perspective change the way we view jealousy? ([41:26])
3. How can embracing the duality of grief and joy help us experience joy even in the midst of difficult circumstances? ([47:50])
4. What does Lindsay's vision of walking through the forest with Jesus teach us about God's companionship in our grief? ([55:41])
#### Application Questions
1. Reflect on a time when you felt jealous. What deep desire or unmet dream might that jealousy have been revealing? How can you bring this before God for healing? ([33:10])
2. Lindsay mentioned that jealousy can often be rooted in grief over unmet desires. Is there an area of your life where you are experiencing grief that you haven't fully acknowledged? How can you begin to address this grief with God? ([41:26])
3. How can you practice embracing the duality of grief and joy in your daily life? Think of a specific situation where you can acknowledge both the pain and the blessings. ([47:50])
4. Lindsay shared a vision of walking through a forest with Jesus, carrying a heavy backpack. What are some of the burdens you are carrying right now? How can you invite Jesus to share the load with you? ([55:41])
5. In what ways can you cultivate a heart of gratitude to combat feelings of jealousy? Identify one specific area where you can practice gratitude this week. ([44:58])
6. How can you support someone in your life who might be struggling with jealousy or grief? What practical steps can you take to be a source of encouragement and understanding for them? ([52:43])
7. Reflect on the eternal perspective Lindsay shared. How does the hope of complete fulfillment in God's presence in the next life impact the way you handle unmet desires and grief in this life? ([48:37])
Devotional
Day 1: Jealousy as a Window to Our Deepest Desires
Jealousy often serves as a window into our deepest desires, revealing what we long for but feel we cannot attain. This emotion can be a powerful indicator of our true longings, whether they are for material possessions, relationships, or opportunities. By recognizing these desires, we can bring them before God for healing and transformation. Understanding that jealousy is rooted in unmet desires allows us to address the underlying issues rather than just the surface emotion. This process can lead to a more profound sense of peace and contentment in our lives. [33:10]
James 4:2-3 (ESV): "You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions."
Reflection: What is one area of your life where you feel jealousy? Can you identify the deeper desire behind this emotion and bring it before God in prayer today?
Day 2: Grief as the Root of Jealousy
Many times, our jealousy is actually unrecognized and unreconciled grief over unmet desires and unfulfilled dreams. This grief can be about the loss itself or the deeper questions it raises about God's presence and actions in our lives. By acknowledging this grief, we can move away from jealousy and towards a deeper relationship with God. It's essential to be honest about our feelings and bring our grief to God, allowing Him to provide comfort and healing. This process can transform our grief into a source of spiritual growth and deeper intimacy with God. [41:26]
Psalm 34:18 (ESV): "The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit."
Reflection: Think of a time when you felt deep grief over an unmet desire. How can you bring this grief to God today and allow Him to comfort you?
Day 3: Embracing the Duality of Grief and Joy
Life can be both wonderful and hard at the same time. Embracing this duality allows us to experience joy even in the midst of grief, without letting jealousy rob us of the blessings we do have. Recognizing that joy and sorrow can coexist helps us to appreciate the moments of happiness and miracles in our lives, even when we are facing significant challenges. This perspective can lead to a more balanced and fulfilling life, where we are not overwhelmed by our struggles but can still find reasons to be grateful and joyful. [47:50]
Ecclesiastes 3:1, 4 (ESV): "For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance."
Reflection: How can you find moments of joy in your current struggles? What are some blessings you can be grateful for today, even in the midst of hardship?
Day 4: God's Companionship in Our Grief
Bringing our grief to God and being honest about our feelings allows us to experience His peace. God may not always take away our burdens, but He shares the load and walks with us through our struggles. This companionship can provide immense comfort and strength, knowing that we are not alone in our pain. By trusting in God's presence and support, we can navigate our challenges with a sense of hope and resilience. This ongoing journey with God helps us to grow spiritually and find peace even in difficult circumstances. [49:55]
Isaiah 41:10 (ESV): "Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
Reflection: In what ways can you invite God to share your burdens today? How can you be more honest with Him about your feelings and struggles?
Day 5: The Eternal Perspective
Our deepest desires and longings point to a place where God will fulfill every desire of our heart. While we may experience grief and unmet desires in this life, we have the hope of complete fulfillment in God's presence in the next. This eternal perspective can provide comfort and hope, reminding us that our current struggles are temporary and that ultimate joy and satisfaction await us in God's kingdom. By focusing on this hope, we can find strength to endure our present challenges and maintain a sense of purpose and direction in our lives. [48:37]
Revelation 21:4 (ESV): "He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away."
Reflection: How does the hope of eternal fulfillment in God's presence change your perspective on your current struggles? What steps can you take today to focus more on this eternal hope?
Quotes
### Quotes for Outreach
1. "But something can be both wonderful and hard at the same time, and that's what this life is, hard and wonderful. As an aside, can we stop saying that God doesn't give us more than we can handle? It's just is not true and it's not biblical. I'll tell you who isn't saying that. Parents who have prayed for miracles on emergency room floors for one." [29:16] (20 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
2. "I believe that most jealousy is actually unrecognized and unreconciled grief in our lives. If what I said earlier is true, that jealousy can reveal what we desire most, then our jealousy is, in fact, grief over unmet and unfulfilled desires. And whether that's due to tragedy or attainability or access or anything else, that's still grief nonetheless." [40:25] (26 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
3. "When I experience the jealousy I experience on this side of Ava's accident. I'm reminded that jealousy is grief over what is lacking in this life. But at the same time. I'm reminded that the desires that come from God in this life will be fully satisfied by God in the next." [48:37] (15 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
4. "His yoke is easy and his burden is light because he knows how this all ends. He knows the prize waiting for us at the end. He knows it will be okay. And I think sometimes we're looking for everything else to sit in that with us." [50:45] (12 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
5. "The fact that you are still going is proof he is carrying them. Maybe there is a reason we still feel the backpack at all, you wonder. The backpack frays and you finally say that you don't know if the backpack will make it to your final destination. And then you realize what Jesus already knows. You won't actually need your heavy backpack in the place he's ultimately leading you to." [58:04] (20 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
### Quotes for Members
1. "The darkness and sin in my heart that were revealed as a result of Ava's accident is where this talk needs to camp out today, although I could talk about her smile forever. Having a medically complex child, in my experience, is really hard. Ava is fully dependent on us. We don't like to talk about it in terms like this, but everybody wants to know, like, how is she?" [27:36] (19 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
2. "I believe that we are only actively jealous of the things that we think should be attainable to us but aren't. Think about it. How many of you today came in here, like, actively jealous of Elon Musk? Or the guy in the cowboy hat with the rocket? I don't remember his name. Not many. Not many of you were like, oh, I'm so jealous. I'm so jealous of Elon Musk. It's because you're not expecting to be a billionaire." [39:10] (22 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
3. "I believe that most jealousy is actually unrecognized and unreconciled grief in our lives. If what I said earlier is true, that jealousy can reveal what we desire most, then our jealousy is, in fact, grief over unmet and unfulfilled desires. And whether that's due to tragedy or attainability or access or anything else, that's still grief nonetheless." [40:25] (26 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
4. "I had to grieve what I was grieving, and then, two, go to God and grieve that God wasn't fixing it for me. I had to grieve God's nose in my life. I had to grieve what I was grieving, and I had to grieve that God wasn't fixing it. Does that make sense? Does that make sense? This is two important parts. At first, I started to just grieve the thing, but then I needed to go to God in my honesty and say, God, this is, like, really, my anger that's seeping out of me is I'm angry with you, and let me be one of the many people to tell you that God can handle it." [46:00] (31 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
5. "But lately I've realized what I think God really offers us here is companionship in the places that no one else can go. See, like grief is so vast. And so big. And so specific. Anybody else. Anybody here. That's ever experienced the presence of something, whether it's a person or something, something. And then there's, it's not there anymore. Grief feels almost undefinable. Words, other things like that, for me, it would be like betrayal or, um, yeah, like deep loss or pain. It's the thing that like, when you feel it, you can't, you don't even have words to describe it." [49:55] (42 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
Chatbot
-
I'm an AI bot trained only on this specific sermon. Do you have any questions about it?