From Brokenness to Purpose: A Journey of Healing

Growing up in the Appalachian Mountains of West Virginia, life was marked by poverty, strict discipline, and a sense of being different from others. Early experiences of being ostracized at school for things beyond my control, like not having running water at home, left deep wounds and a sense of isolation. As I moved into adulthood, I sought ways to fill the emptiness and pain, eventually turning to alcohol. What began as a way to feel more comfortable and accepted quickly became a dependency that took over my life, leading to years of struggle, broken relationships, and a sense of powerlessness.

My journey through the Marine Corps and into the workforce only deepened my reliance on alcohol, as I tried to mask my insecurities and pain. It wasn’t until a moment of clarity—after making a fool of myself at a work event and being confronted by a friend—that I realized I needed help. Entering a 12-step recovery program, I learned that my real problem wasn’t just drinking, but my thinking. The process of working through the steps—admitting powerlessness, coming to believe in a higher power, making amends, and taking personal inventory—began to transform me from the inside out. I learned that true healing required honesty, humility, and a willingness to let God work in my life, even when I didn’t fully understand Him.

As I continued to grow, I realized that knowledge about God is not the same as knowing God. Even after years of attending church and studying the Bible, I still struggled with surrendering my life fully to Him. It took more pain, more failed relationships, and the example of others who lived out their faith authentically, to show me what true surrender looked like. I learned that faith is not always accompanied by feelings; sometimes, it’s simply a choice to trust and obey, even when emotions are absent.

Ultimately, I discovered that my purpose is to serve others, using the pain and experiences of my past to help those who are struggling as I once did. The fruit of the Spirit—love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control—became the qualities I strive for, even as I fall short. My journey is ongoing, but I am learning to walk in the Spirit, to serve others, and to trust that God can use even my brokenness for His glory.

Key Takeaways

• 1. The Roots of Brokenness and the Power of Honesty Childhood wounds and feelings of being “less than” can shape our entire lives, often leading us to seek comfort in unhealthy ways. True transformation begins with the courage to face our pain honestly and admit our need for help. Only when we stop pretending and acknowledge our brokenness can God begin to heal us. [44:46]
• 2. Addiction is a Symptom, Not the Core Problem Addiction often starts as a way to escape pain or feel different, but it quickly becomes a master. The real issue is not the substance, but the thinking and emptiness that drive us to it. Recovery requires a deep change in how we see ourselves and the world, and a willingness to let God address the root issues of our hearts. [52:43]
• 3. Transformation is a Process, Not an Event Lasting change doesn’t happen overnight. Working through the steps of recovery—admitting powerlessness, making amends, and seeking God’s help—takes time, humility, and perseverance. Healing often involves facing painful truths, making things right with others, and continually examining our motives and actions. [65:51]
• 4. Faith is Not Always Accompanied by Feelings There are seasons when God feels distant or when spiritual experiences seem out of reach. In those times, faith means choosing to trust God’s promises and walk in obedience, even when emotions are absent. The assurance of salvation and spiritual growth is rooted in faith, not in how we feel on any given day. [76:45]
• 5. Our Greatest Purpose is to Serve Others Through Our Wounds God often uses the very areas of our deepest pain as the means by which we can help others. The struggles we’ve overcome become the gifts we offer to those still in darkness. Serving others, especially those who share our struggles, is both our calling and the path to continued growth and freedom.
  
  ** [86:15]

Youtube Chapters

• [00:00] - Welcome
• [44:46] - Childhood in Poverty and Family Life
• [45:38] - Early Experiences of Isolation
• [46:43] - Family Chores and Hard Work
• [47:27] - School Years and Loneliness
• [48:49] - Searching for Acceptance
• [50:27] - Joining the Marine Corps
• [51:13] - Discovering Alcohol and Its Effects
• [52:43] - Addiction Takes Hold
• [55:27] - Life After the Military
• [56:30] - Struggles in the Workforce
• [58:47] - Moment of Clarity and Seeking Help
• [60:24] - Entering Recovery and the 12 Steps
• [65:51] - Making Amends and Emotional Healing
• [69:47] - Ongoing Growth and Spiritual Practices
• [74:03] - Learning to Trust God and Tithing
• [76:45] - The Importance of Surrender
• [86:15] - The Fruit of the Spirit and Life’s Purpose

Bible Reading

Galatians 5:22-25 (ESV) — > But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit.

Malachi 3:10 (ESV) — > Bring the full tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. And thereby put me to the test, says the LORD of hosts, if I will not open the windows of heaven for you and pour down for you a blessing until there is no more need.

Observation Questions

1. According to Galatians 5:22-25, what are the qualities that show someone is living by the Spirit?
2. In Malachi 3:10, what does God challenge His people to do, and what does He promise in return? [01:14:03]
3. In the sermon, what were some of the early wounds and experiences that shaped Michael’s sense of self growing up? [44:46]
4. What did Michael say was the real problem behind his addiction, and how did he discover it? [01:00:24]

Interpretation Questions

1. Why do you think Paul lists these specific qualities as the “fruit of the Spirit”? How do they contrast with the way Michael described his life before recovery? [01:26:15]
2. What does it mean to “test God” in the context of Malachi 3:10, and why did this challenge stand out to Michael as he began to trust God with his resources? [01:14:03]
3. Michael shared that addiction was a symptom, not the core problem. What does this suggest about the deeper issues people might face beneath their struggles? [01:00:24]
4. Michael said that knowledge about God is not the same as knowing God. What do you think is the difference, and how did this realization change his journey? [01:14:03]

Application Questions

1. Michael talked about the courage it took to face his pain honestly and admit his need for help. Is there an area in your life where you are pretending or hiding pain? What would it look like to take a first step toward honesty this week? [44:46]
2. The sermon said that addiction (or any unhealthy habit) is often a way to escape pain or emptiness. Are there things you turn to for comfort that might be masking deeper issues? What would it look like to let God address the root instead of just the symptom? [52:43]
3. Michael described transformation as a process, not a one-time event. Is there a part of your life where you are frustrated by slow progress? How can you practice patience and humility as you keep moving forward? [01:05:51]
4. Michael shared that faith is not always accompanied by feelings, and sometimes it’s just a choice to trust and obey. Have you ever gone through a season where God felt distant? What helped you keep going, or what could help you now? [01:16:45]
5. The fruit of the Spirit became Michael’s goal, even though he admitted he falls short. Pick one aspect of the fruit of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control). What is one specific way you could practice it this week, especially with someone who is difficult for you? [01:26:15]
6. Michael discovered that his greatest purpose was to serve others through his wounds. Is there a painful experience in your past that God might use to help someone else? What would it look like to take a small step toward serving or encouraging someone who is struggling in a similar way? [01:26:15]
7. Michael said that tithing was a step of faith for him, and he saw God’s faithfulness as a result. Is there an area where God is asking you to trust Him with your resources, time, or talents? What is one step you could take this week to respond? [01:14:03]