From Ashes to Beauty: The Power of Community

 

Summary

In today's gathering, we explored the profound journey from "ashes to beauty," emphasizing the importance of community and relationships in our spiritual lives. Over the past year, many of us have experienced isolation, which has underscored the necessity of genuine connections. This journey is not just about personal growth but about building a community that supports and uplifts each other. We discussed the significance of making amends and reconciling with those we have harmed, as highlighted in Matthew 5. Jesus teaches us that even in the midst of religious duties, reconciling with others takes precedence. This step is crucial as it marks the beginning of the end of isolation, inviting us into deeper community and connection.

Nancy and I shared personal stories from our marriage, illustrating how unresolved issues and emotional withdrawal can harm relationships. For years, I struggled with withdrawing emotionally, which caused pain and confusion for Nancy. It took a long journey of self-reflection and growth to realize that the problem was not with her but within myself. This realization led to a transformation in how we communicate and connect, emphasizing the importance of addressing our own issues rather than projecting them onto others.

We also touched on the broader implications of these principles beyond marriage, extending to friendships, church communities, and workplaces. The journey towards God involves recognizing and addressing relational chaos, as true worship is intertwined with our relationships with others. We are called to love others enough to seek reconciliation and healing.

In closing, we celebrated the power of community, where we can share our vulnerabilities and support each other through life's challenges. This community is a place where the "worse your story, the warmer the welcome," and we are committed to walking this journey together, from ashes to beauty.

Key Takeaways:

1. The Power of Community: In times of isolation, community becomes a lifeline. It is through genuine connections that we find strength and support. Building a community that leverages technology can help us stay connected and grow together spiritually. [05:49]

2. The Importance of Reconciliation: Jesus teaches us that reconciling with others is more important than religious rituals. This step marks the beginning of the end of isolation, inviting us into deeper community and connection. [07:07]

3. Self-Reflection in Relationships: Addressing our own issues rather than projecting them onto others is crucial for healthy relationships. Recognizing that we are often our own problem can lead to profound personal growth and transformation. [12:47]

4. Marriage as a Journey of Growth: Marriage is not just about happiness but also about growth and holiness. It involves unpacking our emotional baggage together and learning to communicate openly and honestly. [15:14]

5. Embracing Vulnerability: Sharing our vulnerabilities and inadequacies within a community fosters deeper connections. The journey from ashes to beauty involves receiving God's power to change and become better versions of ourselves. [22:15]

Youtube Chapters:

- [00:00] - Welcome
- [00:13] - Technical Challenges
- [01:21] - Community Greetings
- [03:20] - Introduction to Ashes to Beauty
- [04:34] - The Importance of Community
- [05:25] - Living One Day at a Time
- [06:23] - Making Amends
- [07:19] - Ending Isolation
- [09:09] - Building Community
- [10:25] - Personal Story: Emotional Withdrawal
- [12:21] - Self-Reflection and Growth
- [15:14] - Marriage and Emotional Baggage
- [17:00] - Honest Conversations
- [18:30] - Loving Others and God
- [22:15] - Embracing Vulnerability and Change

Study Guide

Bible Study Discussion Guide: From Ashes to Beauty

Bible Reading:
- Matthew 5:23-24 (NIV): "Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift."

Observation Questions:
1. What does Jesus prioritize over religious rituals according to Matthew 5:23-24?
2. How did the sermon describe the impact of isolation on community and relationships? [07:19]
3. What personal story did the pastor share about emotional withdrawal in his marriage? [10:40]
4. How does the sermon suggest technology can be used to build community? [05:49]

Interpretation Questions:
1. Why might Jesus consider reconciliation with others more important than offering gifts at the altar? How does this reflect on the nature of true worship?
2. In what ways does the sermon suggest that self-reflection can lead to personal growth and transformation? [12:47]
3. How does the concept of "ashes to beauty" relate to the journey of healing and reconciliation in relationships?
4. What does the sermon imply about the role of vulnerability in building deeper connections within a community? [22:15]

Application Questions:
1. Reflect on a relationship in your life where reconciliation is needed. What steps can you take this week to begin that process? [06:47]
2. Consider a time when you withdrew emotionally from someone. What was the impact on the relationship, and how can you address similar situations differently in the future? [11:05]
3. How can you leverage technology to maintain and strengthen your connections with others, especially during times of isolation? [05:49]
4. Identify an area in your life where self-reflection could lead to personal growth. What specific actions will you take to address this? [12:47]
5. Think of a community you are part of. How can you contribute to making it a place where people feel safe to share their vulnerabilities? [22:15]
6. In what ways can you support someone in your community who is going through a difficult time, turning their "ashes" into "beauty"? [22:15]
7. Reflect on the statement, "The worse your story, the warmer the welcome." How can you embody this attitude in your interactions with others? [22:04]

Devotional

Day 1: Community as a Lifeline
In times of isolation, community becomes a vital source of strength and support. Genuine connections within a community can help individuals navigate through life's challenges, providing a sense of belonging and shared purpose. Building a community that leverages technology can help us stay connected and grow together spiritually, even when physical gatherings are not possible. This interconnectedness allows us to share our burdens and joys, fostering a deeper sense of unity and spiritual growth. [05:49]

"Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near." (Hebrews 10:23-25, ESV)

Reflection: Who in your community can you reach out to today to offer encouragement or support, and how can you use technology to maintain that connection?


Day 2: Reconciliation Over Ritual
Reconciliation with others is a priority over religious rituals, as taught by Jesus. This step is crucial in ending isolation and inviting deeper community and connection. By making amends and seeking forgiveness, individuals can heal broken relationships and foster a spirit of unity. This process not only benefits personal relationships but also enhances one's spiritual journey, as true worship is intertwined with our relationships with others. [07:07]

"So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift." (Matthew 5:23-24, ESV)

Reflection: Is there someone you need to reconcile with today? What steps can you take to initiate that process and prioritize healing over ritual?


Day 3: Self-Reflection for Growth
Addressing personal issues rather than projecting them onto others is essential for healthy relationships. Recognizing that we are often our own problem can lead to profound personal growth and transformation. This self-reflection allows individuals to identify areas of weakness and work towards becoming better versions of themselves, ultimately improving their relationships with others. [12:47]

"Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Or do you not realize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?—unless indeed you fail to meet the test!" (2 Corinthians 13:5, ESV)

Reflection: What is one personal issue you have been projecting onto others? How can you begin to address it within yourself today?


Day 4: Marriage as a Path to Holiness
Marriage is not just about happiness but also about growth and holiness. It involves unpacking emotional baggage together and learning to communicate openly and honestly. This journey requires both partners to support each other in their spiritual and personal growth, fostering a relationship that is rooted in love and mutual respect. [15:14]

"Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed." (Genesis 2:24-25, ESV)

Reflection: What is one area in your marriage where you can work together with your spouse to unpack emotional baggage and grow in holiness?


Day 5: Vulnerability as a Path to Transformation
Embracing vulnerability within a community fosters deeper connections and allows individuals to share their inadequacies. This openness invites God's power to change and transform us, helping us become better versions of ourselves. By sharing our vulnerabilities, we create a supportive environment where everyone can grow and thrive together. [22:15]

"Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working." (James 5:16, ESV)

Reflection: What is one vulnerability you can share with your community today to foster deeper connections and invite transformation?

Quotes


I would say this last year and you guys know what it's been like, but community has never been more important. So many of you on this right screen are what kept me going in really profound ways. I've always been a big believer in community. I don't know that I've ever needed it more. [00:04:34]

One of the striking things that Jesus said along these lines, in Matthew 5 in the sermon on the mount, he says even if you're doing something that seems like the most important thing in the world, like if you're at the temple and you're offering a sacrifice to God in the altar, kind of the most sacred moment in religion. [00:06:23]

This step is the beginning of the end of isolation, and I think over this last year and a half that sense of isolation at times has been one of the hardest things. So that idea that we're coming out of hiddenness and out of isolation to be together with each other is so important. [00:07:19]

For the first chunk of our marriage, probably the first 15 years, probably the major way that I did harm to Nancy was this kind of emotional pendulum where we would often have lots of joy and fun and deep connections, but then if she did or said something I didn't like, very often I would just kind of freeze inside and I would withdraw. [00:10:25]

What became very clear was no, she's not my problem, I'm my problem, and my avoidance and my withdrawal and my coldness and my using that to try to be controlling, even though it wasn't deliberate at the conscious level, was very wounding to Nancy and was not the kind of person that I want to be. [00:12:21]

Marriage is not designed to make you happy, it's designed to make you holy, and I would say it's probably designed to do a little both. But it's that ongoing opening our baggage and unpacking it together. And I also want to say too for any of you that are single or widowed, this has all kinds of implications. [00:15:14]

The journey towards God and it's just so striking that Jesus would say if you think you're loving God and serving God but you're in relational chaos with another person, you're wrong. And actually what God loves the most is for you to love that person enough to want to try to fix it. [00:18:30]

When we're anxious, when we're stressed, when we're in a time of emotional upheaval, we tend to put people into one of two categories: friend or foe. And we actually look at faces and he says that there's two factors: do they look like a strong person, square jaw is the main thing there, and then do they look like they are friendly towards us. [00:20:00]

I want to be in a community where we're all showing each other our hands and not ashamed of them but me too, me too, me too. And to celebrate personal inadequacy together. The worse your story, the warmer the welcome, and this is the place where the worse your story, the warmer the welcome. [00:22:15]

To receive from God the power to take a look at how do you want to change me, how do you want me to be different so that I can become a different person with somebody that I love and so that we can help each other do that in our lives. [00:22:15]

I think all of us come to marriage and the picture I get in my head sometimes is we're standing up in front of the pastor who's saying the vows and pronouncing us and we're both carrying a piece of luggage and baggage we don't know we're carrying it, we didn't even pack it all. [00:15:14]

I need to see me more clearly not a way that will beat myself up just to say God help me to see the truth about myself, and then over time it became possible to say, yep Nancy might have said something or done something in a way that I didn't like it but I don't have to withdraw. [00:12:47]

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Transcript
What was the most surprising thing in this sermon?
Were there any personal stories shared?