When Friends Turn: Finding Healing After Betrayal

Jul 12, 2026

Devotional

Day 1: When Your Catch Knocks Hope Away

The foul ball moment—reaching for something good, only to worsen the game—mirrors how betrayal disrupts life’s trajectory. David’s raw cries in Psalm 55 show God welcomes our unfiltered anguish, not polished prayers. Like Steve Bartman’s instinctive reach, our actions sometimes unintentionally fracture relationships, leaving us isolated. Yet David models turning chaos into candid conversation with God, trusting Him to hold both our mistakes and others’ malice. [37:15]

“Listen to my prayer, O God, and do not ignore my plea. Pay attention to me and answer me. I am restless and in turmoil with my complaint.” (Psalm 55:1-3, CSB)

Reflection: What “foul ball” moment in your life—a well-intentioned choice that backfired—still weighs on you? How might entrusting both the mistake and its fallout to God shift your perspective?

Day 2: Betrayal’s Sting: When Barbecue Buddies Become Battle Lines

The deeper the shared history, the sharper betrayal’s cut. David names the agony: it’s not the critic across the field but the friend who once broke bread with him. Ahithophel’s betrayal—a counselor turned conspirator—exposes how covenant relationships ruptured leave spiritual shrapnel. Betrayal resurrects memories of inside jokes, prayers, and victories, making the present fracture feel irreparable. [44:48]

“If an enemy were insulting me, I could endure it… But it is you, a man like myself, my companion and close friend. We used to enjoy sweet fellowship together.” (Psalm 55:12-14, CSB)

Reflection: Which fractured relationship’s “shared laughter” still haunts you? What would it look like to grieve the loss without letting bitterness rewrite the past?

Day 3: Bulldozers or Prayers: Choosing Your Weapon

Marvin’s armored bulldozer symbolizes revenge’s futility—destroying others while trapping us in steel-plated isolation. David refuses this path, declaring “I call to God” instead of scheming. Prayer becomes the wrench that disarms our inner machinery of retaliation. Trusting God to handle justice frees us to walk unencumbered, even when every instinct screams to armor up. [53:19]

“I call to God, and the Lord will save me. I complain and groan morning, noon, and night, and He hears my voice… God will hear and humiliate them.” (Psalm 55:16-19, CSB)

Reflection: What “bulldozer” have you been tempted to build against someone? How might praying for them—not about them—change your posture?

Day 4: Trail Wisdom: Unpacking Grudges at Mile Marker 58

Appalachian hikers ditch unnecessary weight to endure the long journey. Spiritually, carrying betrayal’s baggage—resentment, replaying conversations, “what-ifs”—exhausts more than any mountain trail. Casting burdens on God isn’t denial but acknowledging His shoulders are wider. David’s “cast” (Hebrew: shalak) implies violent hurling, not polite placement—an active release of what we’ve death-gripped. [58:32]

“Cast your burden on the Lord, and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken.” (Psalm 55:22, CSB)

Reflection: What specific “rock” of resentment have you carried so long it feels part of your pack? What step could you take today to hurl it onto Christ?

Day 5: The Cheek-Kiss That Carried Us

Judas’ betrayal kiss in Gethsemane didn’t surprise Jesus—He’d already prayed for those who “do not know what they are doing.” By bearing the ultimate betrayal on the cross, Jesus transformed treason into triumph. Our lesser betrayals find healing not in others’ remorse but in His scars. The ring given to Steve Bartman mirrors grace we receive: unearned restoration. [59:31]

“While He was still speaking, suddenly a mob came, and one of the Twelve named Judas was leading them. He came near Jesus to kiss Him, but Jesus said to him, ‘Judas, are you betraying the Son of Man with a kiss?’” (Luke 22:47-48, CSB)

Reflection: How does Jesus’ choice to bear betrayal’s worst sting soften your heart toward those who’ve wounded you? What would living “ring-restored” look like this week?

Sermon Summary

Psalm 55 speaks as a man pierced by intimate betrayal. David names the ache plainly. The text piles up verbs that sound like a siren in the night: “listen to my prayer… do not hide… pay attention… answer me.” David does not wait to calm down so he can pray; he prays so he can calm down. He tells God he is restless and in turmoil, and he refuses the illusion that running solves anything. “If only I had wings like a dove, I would fly away” describes the instinct to escape, not the path to healing. Honest prayer becomes the first mercy on the way back to emotional balance.

The psalm then explains why betrayal hurts the way it does. The wound is not from an enemy across the field but from “a man who is my peer, my companion and good friend.” Betrayal carries memories. Shared prayers, victories, and meals do not disappear; they deepen the sting. The likely backdrop is Absalom’s rebellion and the defection of Ahithophel, David’s trusted counselor. In a kingdom, advisers do not swear to an idea but to a king. Breaking that covenant unravels more than policy; it shreds a personal vow, which is why the grief in David’s language is so personal.

David then chooses prayer over payback. “But I call to God… and he hears my voice.” He cannot control the slander, schemes, or momentum of a conspiracy; he can control his response. He hands both sides of the ledger to the One enthroned from long ago, trusting God to care for him and to deal with them. Jesus presses the same path: bless those who curse, pray for those who mistreat. Paul shuts the door on retaliation with a simple sentence: “Vengeance is mine… says the Lord.” Revenge only multiplies damage; prayer breaks the cycle.

Finally, the psalm hands the church its daily practice: “Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you.” The command is throw, hurl, offload. A spiritual shakedown asks what weight must come out of the pack today. Grudges, offenses, and the heaviness of betrayal belong on God’s shoulders, not on a disciple’s back. Jesus proves he can carry it. Judas’ kiss lands on his cheek, and he bears that treachery all the way to the cross. The cross settles both guilt and grief. Forgiven people now forgive, entrusting the ache to the One who sustains and will never allow the righteous to be shaken.

Key Takeaways

1. Bring raw pain into prayer The first step is not composure but candor. Scripture gives permission to name restlessness, turmoil, and fear without sanding down the edges. Honest lament is faith at work, because it turns toward God instead of away from him. [37:54]
2. Name why betrayal hurts deeply The wound is personal because memories live inside it. Shared worship, counsel, and laughter make treachery feel like a covenant torn. Owning that depth keeps the heart from pretending and invites real healing before God. [42:11]
3. Choose prayer over taking revenge Retaliation promises relief but breeds escalation. Prayer hands people and outcomes to the One enthroned, trusting his justice and care. This is not passivity; it is active obedience that refuses to mirror the harm. [49:53]
4. Cast the weight you cannot carry God commands the offload, then promises to sustain. A daily spiritual shakedown lightens the pack so the soul can keep walking. What is hurled onto the Lord no longer hobbles the journey. [55:47]
5. Let Jesus carry betrayal’s sting Christ received a kiss that cut, then carried that treachery to the cross. His atonement embraces not only sin committed but sorrows endured. Those who live under that mercy are freed to forgive. [59:31]

Youtube Chapters

[00:00] - Welcome
[30:13] - Psalm 55 and the pain of betrayal
[30:29] - The Cubs story and scapegoating
[32:47] - When friends turn on you
[34:46] - David writes as a betrayed man
[35:29] - Absalom steals the hearts of Israel
[36:36] - Four principles for betrayal’s pain
[37:15] - Bring your pain to God
[39:45] - The urge to fly away
[41:35] - Why this wound cuts so deep
[43:16] - Ahithophel and broken covenant
[49:14] - Prayer instead of revenge
[52:25] - Vengeance belongs to the Lord
[55:47] - Cast your burden on the Lord
[59:12] - Jesus bears betrayal on the cross

Bible Study Guide

Bible reading
- Psalm 55:22 (ESV): "Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be shaken."
- 1 Peter 5:7 (ESV): "Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you."
- Romans 12:19 (ESV): "Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, 'Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.'"

Observation questions

In Psalm 55:1-2, David uses urgent verbs like "listen," "do not hide," and "answer me." What does this reveal about how he approaches God in his pain?
Why does David contrast the pain of betrayal by an enemy with betrayal by a friend in Psalm 55:12-14? [41:35]
What specific example from David’s life (hinted at in the sermon) explains why betrayal felt like a "covenant torn"? [43:16]
According to Romans 12:19, what is the alternative to seeking revenge?

Interpretation questions

Why might choosing prayer over retaliation be described as "active obedience" rather than passivity? [49:53]
How does the shared history between David and his betrayer (like worshiping together) intensify the pain of betrayal? [45:27]
What does it mean practically to "cast your burden on the Lord" (Psalm 55:22) when the weight feels too heavy to release?
How does Jesus’ response to Judas’ betrayal (Matthew 26:48-50) redefine how we handle treachery? [59:31]

Application questions

What burden (a grudge, hurt, or betrayal) are you currently carrying that you need to "hurl" onto God today? What makes it hard to release?
When have you been tempted to "fly away" from a painful situation instead of praying through it? What would it look like to confront that pain with honesty before God? [39:45]
Think of a time someone close to you hurt you. How might praying for them (instead of about them) shift your heart? [51:46]
The sermon mentions a "spiritual shakedown" to lighten emotional baggage. What unnecessary weight (resentment, fear, etc.) do you need to remove from your "pack"? [58:32]
How does Jesus’ choice to bear Judas’ betrayal to the cross inspire you to handle betrayal with grace rather than bitterness? [59:31]
What practical step could you take this week to actively entrust a specific hurt to God’s justice instead of stewing over it?

Sermon Clips

91s

#ForgivenSoForgive

“``Your pain has been dealt with by a cross. He forgave you. Now we need to forgive others. Let's bow our heads. Father, this is, this is real life stuff for a lot of us. There's real pain. There's real hurt. But father, we are so thankful that Jesus has borne all our sorrows and all our griefs along with all our guilt and all our sin. Thank you that you settled this on a cross. And I pray for those who've never trusted Jesus, that today would be a day of salvation and forgiveness for them. But I pray for others in this room as well. There are those who have been freely forgiven but struggle to forgive those who offend them, who hurt them. Lord, teach us today to leave them with you, to cast our burden upon you so that you will sustain us.”

87s

#JesusBoreBetrayal

“To let the Holy Spirit say to you, what wound, what offense, what grudge, what betrayal are you carrying that you really just need to cast upon the Lord? What what betrayal, what pain are you walking through and just you just carry it with you every day that you really need need to just give it away and give it to him? He can carry it. You know what? Jesus has proven he can carry the weight of betrayal. In the Garden Of Gethsemane, after he prayed and fully surrendered himself afresh to the father, not my will but thy will be done, his disciple approached Judas and he kissed him on the cheek. The gesture of friendship was an act of betrayal, and Jesus bore that betrayal to the cross, and he died for that as much as he died for anything else.”

60s

#PrayerOverRevenge

“David says, I am going to choose prayer over revenge. Verse 16, but I to God. I cannot control the actions, the words, the deception, and the manipulation of that other person. I can't control any of that, but I can control my response. It doesn't mean that that pain is any less real or the problems evaporate but what happens is I'm going to keep coming back to God. Psalm one zero nine verse four says, in return for my love, they act as accusers but I am in prayer. David says, my first response is going to be I'm gonna commit this to God. I'm going to commit this to prayer and I am gonna leave them in God's hands.”

60s

#BeRealBringItToGod

“The truth is most of us are pretenders. We walk down the hall and we don't tell people the truth about our pain. And we don't tell people the truth about our pain a lot of times because we don't think they really wanna hear. How are you today? Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine isn't the truth for most of us. Oh, I'm good. I'm blessed and highly favored. Yeah. The truth is that we're hurting. And while you may not be able to say that, you don't wanna say that to every person you meet, you can take that to God and know that he will hear and he will hear every single time. So the first step if you feel you've been been betrayed is to bring that pain to God. Second,”

58s

#LeaveThemWithGod

“If you look at verse 19, there's something in this verse that's very important. He says, I'm going to take them I'm gonna call to God. I'm gonna leave them with God, the one enthroned from long ago, and he will humiliate them because they do not change and do not fear God. Here's what David is saying. I'm not gonna take revenge. I'm gonna leave them with God. God will take care of me, and God will take care of them. That's what he's saying. And somewhere along the way, you have to choose to say, you know what? They've lied about me. I'm not gonna lie about them. They have caused harm in my life. I'm not gonna harm them. I am going to leave them in the hands of God, and I'm gonna pray for them.”

72s

#DontRunFromPain

“Sometimes we have to get there and David has to fight an instinct that we all have in a moment like this and you see it a little bit later in the passage down in verse six. He says, I said if only I had wings like a dove, I would fly away and find rest. How far away I would flee. I would stay in the wilderness. I would hurry to my shelter from the raging wind and the storm. He says, if I had wings, I'd just fly away. I'd get away from this. Southwest Airlines used to run these commercials when someone would make a humiliating mistake and they ran this tagline, wanna get away? And then they do their fun fair, you know, like the $49 fair that and David's like, if I had wings, I wanna get away. I just wanna run from this problem. But running from your problems never solves them. Open, honest confession is a step toward God's help.”

46s

#PrayToFindCalm

“David is open and honest about his emotions in this. There is a sense of urgency as the verbs pile up in verses one and two when he says, listen to my prayer. Don't hide from my plea. Pay attention to me. Answer me. Four times, he's just like in rapid fire, he's calling out to God and he's bringing his very real pain to God. Some people seem to think I I gotta calm down so I can pray. David's idea is I gotta pray so I can calm down. When you're in this situation, the first step is to pray. It is what will bring some emotional balance back into your life.”

40s

#HonestWithGod

“He says in verse two, I'm restless. I'm in turmoil with my complaint. There's an emotional honesty here. Sometimes we feel like, know what, I just I just can't say that out loud because it would sound too unspiritual if I say some of the things that I'm actually thinking. Well, if you say them to God, they don't sound unspiritual. You see, our faith doesn't mean that we are emotionally numb. Pain really hurts. When someone betrays you, when they turn, when they walk away, that pain is real and you can take that pain to God.”

69s

#CastCaresPackLight

“That's what David calls upon us to do. That's what the Bible calls upon us to do. And by the way, the New Testament quotes this verse in first Peter chapter five verse seven, cast all your cares on him because he cares for you. Whatever burden is there is that you're carrying, whatever weight of betrayal and a sense that someone has done you wrong, you need to give that to God. If you're a hiker, you know that it's important that you're efficient. Now if you're gonna go out and hike two or three miles in the mountains of Colorado on vacation, you don't need a lot. Maybe a little water, you'll be fine. But if you were to set out on a journey to hike the Appalachian Trail, the 2,198.4 miles from North Georgia all the way to Maine, you'd make sure that you didn't have any extra weight.”

46s

#BetrayalInFriendships

“It's one thing to be hurt by the slander and the gossip and the innuendo and and the accusations and the manipulation of someone who we barely know, the critic. It is another to experience the heartbreak of someone turning on you who's been very close. The pain of betrayal is real and it's deep and it hurts. And it happens to all of us somewhere along the way. When you're a student, when you're a high school student, junior high student, sometimes friendships that you've had for a long time, people you've been teammates with, Those friendships are fractured and people drift apart. It hurts. It's painful. It's real.”

54s

#BetrayalInAdulthood

“In adulthood, the person you believed you were gonna spend the rest of your life with turns and walks away. Divorce hurts. It's painful. Business partnerships dissolve when people have disagreements. And maybe even the most painful of all is when people that you have prayed with and studied God's word with, people that you have worked with on mission projects somehow get crossways in a church and there's division and we wind up with very real pain and hurt because of that. There is a sense and a feeling of real betrayal when people walk away from us that we considered very, very close. And David knew that experience.”

52s

#LeadershipBringsCriticism

“David says, look, I've been a king for a long time. I know there are people who are gonna criticize my leadership. And by the way, if you're a leader, somebody's not gonna like what you do. That comes with a territory. I mean, it's just a part of life. If you're no matter what you lead, what organization you lead, leadership means criticism. It just does. And the only way to not be criticized is to do nothing and you'll be criticized for doing nothing. Right? So it's it's inescapable. And David says, if it had been an enemy, if it had been a constant critic, and if it had been someone who was always harassing me, I would have just passed it off and known that it's him. I could have borne it.”

82s

#RevengeOnlyHurts

“And so time after time, he was fined. He was he was told he had to tear down things that he had built which weren't up to code, and Marvin was just mad. So he bought a used bulldozer and he armor plated it. He bought a welder and he armor plated the compartment and made him a little peephole to look out of. And on June 4, he rolled it down Main Street and rolled his bulldozer through the town hall, through the newspaper office that had written an article about him. He started toward his neighborhood, probably toward his neighbor's houses when the police finally stopped the bulldozer when Marvin shot himself. Revenge causes great damage but it never solves or settles anything. It just leads to more revenge. If you do something to me and I take revenge, well, you're gonna respond and then I'm gonna respond again. And eventually, have all out war on our hands. Revenge is never the answer. Leaving them in the hands of God is.”

82s

#CovenantBetrayal

“When president Trump or or president Biden or president Obama or whomever appoints someone at to their sec to as the secretary of state, secretary of war, secretary of treasury, whatever, they take an oath, a promise. But that promise is to the constitution of The United States. It is to preserve, protect, and defend the constitution of The United States. But in a kingdom, you don't make a promise to protect the kingdom. You make a promise to protect the king. Your loyalty is to the king when king Charles was crowned as the king of Great Britain. His son, prince William, kneels before him and kisses him on the cheek and promises to be faithful and loyal to him, not to the kingdom, but to him. Every one of David's advisers had made this covenant promise to him, and now this covenant promise had been violated. And David comes to this place where he understands the pain of that betrayal that someone who absolutely had committed to him has turned away. They had shared history and now that was shattered.”

67s

#PsalmOfBetrayal

“He writes Psalm 55 as a man betrayed. Not not just criticized. David's a king. He's a leader. He's gonna be criticized. But a man who has been betrayed. It's not normal opposition but intimate betrayal that David has experienced. And many Old Testament scholars believe that the context of this comes from a moment in David's life when people turned away from him. As David established the kingdom and as he moved past his adulterous affair with Bathsheba that we talked about last week, there was also an unsettling moment in David's life with one of his sons. One of his sons was named Absalom and Absalom believed his dad was neglecting his duties to the people of the kingdom and so Absalom began to say, you know, if I was king, I'd do it this way and if I was king, I'd I'd I'd take care of this problem because Absalom didn't care nearly as much about the people as he wanted the power.”

58s

#NotEveryStoryHasClosure

“By the way, just as an aside to that story to some of you who recall it, in 2016, the Chicago Cubs finally won the World Series. And early in 2017, they gave Steve Bartman a World Series ring and apologized to him for the way that he had been scapegoated in 2003. Kind of a nice end of the story. But you know what? Yours might not end that way. Your story might end with a nice, neat, happy ending. It might end with the pain of betrayal. It's painful to be attacked. It's worse when it comes from a friend. It's horrible when things happen in our lives and those who've been close to us turn on us. It's one thing for an enemy to attack us from across the battlefield. It is another for someone to attack us who's been in our backyard barbecue.”

59s

#AhithophelBetrayal

“Now this is why scholars believe Old Testament scholars believe that it was one of David's closest advisers, and in particular, they zero in on a man named Ahithophel. Ahithophel was one of David's closest companions and advisers. He was a friend of David and the bible says that in first Samuel chapter 15 verse 12 that Absalom sent for David's adviser, Ahithophel, the Gilanite from Gilan. the conspiracy grew strong and the people supported Absalom and their support continued to increase. And so what happened was Ahithophel was kind of this pendulum that swung support away from David over to Absalom in the rebellion and the conspiracy against him.”

48s

#CastYourBurdenOnGod

“So how do I like get rid of this instinct and this desire to get even, to get revenge? You cast your burden upon the Lord. Look at verse 22. Cast your burden on the Lord and he will sustain you. He will never allow the righteous to be shaken. Cast, throw, hurl. He says, I want you to take that burden and I want you to put it on the Lord. This wound that you're carrying, this weight that you're carrying, this burden, I want you to take that and give it to God and let him deal with it. Leave it with him.”

64s

#PrayForYourEnemies

“Jesus told us to do that in Luke chapter six verse 27, but I say to you who listen, love your enemies, do what is good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. I'll be honest with you. I prayed for a lot of people. The hardest people in the world to pray for are the ones who've hurt you. Boy, it's hard to pray for them. It is hard to pray for those folks that somehow God will do something good in their life, but that is what Jesus calls on us to do and that's what David says he's gonna do. Now you look at verse 19, he says, no, he prayed he'd humiliate them. He leaves them in God's hands. And if God humiliates them, that's up to God. That's up to God. Paul writes in in Romans chapter 12 verse nine nineteen, never take your own revenge. Vengeance is mine. I will repay says the Lord.”

53s

#VulnerabilityBuildsTrust

“There are a lot of times in the bible when people actually expressed openly and honestly, they were authentic and they were vulnerable about about how they felt. One of those moments is the apostle Paul in second Corinthians. He says to the church at Corinth, we don't want you to be unaware brothers and sisters of our affliction that took place in Asia. We were completely overwhelmed beyond our strength so that we even despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received a sentence of death so that we would not trust in ourselves but in God who raises the dead. Paul is saying there something similar to what David is saying here. I am completely overwhelmed in this moment. I am incapable of handling this on my own.”

Ask a question about this sermon

First Baptist Church, Wichita Falls Tx. This sermon · AI assistant

How should Christians respond to deep betrayal?

Why does betrayal from close friends wound deeper?

What does casting burdens on God look like?