Freedom from People-Pleasing: Embracing Our Kingdom Identity
Summary
In our journey of faith, we often find ourselves caught in the trap of people-pleasing, seeking validation from others rather than focusing on our true purpose. This struggle is not unique to any one of us; it is a common human experience. The desire to be liked and accepted can lead us to compromise our integrity, avoid conflict, and overcommit ourselves, all in the pursuit of approval. However, this path leads to a form of slavery, where we are controlled by the opinions and expectations of others. The story of Eli in 1 Samuel serves as a cautionary tale of how people-pleasing can lead us away from God's will, as Eli prioritized his sons' approval over God's honor.
The ultimate reality we must embrace is that we are citizens of God's kingdom, and our allegiance should be to Him alone. This allegiance brings true freedom, as it aligns us with our created purpose: to give God glory. Just as Jessica Buchanan was dramatically rescued from captivity, we too have been rescued from the kingdom of darkness and transferred into the kingdom of Jesus. This transformation changes our identity and calls us to live out our roles in life with the understanding that we are first and foremost citizens of God's kingdom.
The parables of Jesus remind us that there are only two kingdoms: the kingdom of God and the kingdom of darkness. Our lives are a reflection of which kingdom we serve. The Lord's Prayer provides a framework for aligning our lives with God's will, reminding us to give God the ultimate weight in our lives. By praying for God's kingdom to come and His will to be done, we center our lives on His purposes, finding freedom in living for His glory.
Key Takeaways:
- The Trap of People-Pleasing: People-pleasing is a form of slavery where we are controlled by the opinions of others. It leads us to compromise our integrity and avoid conflict, ultimately distancing us from God's will. True freedom comes from seeking to please God above all else. [04:35]
- Our True Allegiance: As citizens of God's kingdom, our primary allegiance is to Him. This allegiance brings freedom and aligns us with our created purpose: to give God glory. Our identity as citizens of God's kingdom should transcend all other roles in our lives. [06:51]
- The Reality of Two Kingdoms: There are only two kingdoms: the kingdom of God and the kingdom of darkness. Our lives reflect which kingdom we serve. By choosing to serve God, we align ourselves with His ultimate reality and purpose. [18:07]
- The Power of the Lord's Prayer: The Lord's Prayer centers our lives on God's kingdom and will. By praying for His kingdom to come and His will to be done, we align our lives with His purposes, finding freedom in living for His glory. [28:27]
- Living for God's Glory: We were created to give God glory, and we only experience true freedom when we live for this purpose. By giving God the ultimate weight in our lives, we align ourselves with His will and experience the freedom of living as His citizens. [31:18]
Youtube Chapters:
[00:00] - Welcome
[01:44] - The Challenge of Criticism
[03:18] - The Trap of People-Pleasing
[05:10] - Eli's Story and People-Pleasing
[06:09] - Honoring God Above All
[06:51] - Our New Citizenship
[08:01] - The Dramatic Rescue
[09:18] - Jessica Buchanan's Story
[10:32] - The Ultimate Rescue Mission
[12:07] - The Greater Reality
[12:56] - The Ransom Paid by Jesus
[14:22] - Our New Identity in Christ
[15:02] - The Return of the King
[16:41] - The Parable of the Weeds
[18:07] - Two Kingdoms, Two Destinies
[19:06] - Living for the King
[20:34] - Bob Dylan's Insight
[21:54] - Created for God's Glory
[22:52] - The Lesson of the Garden Hoe
[23:42] - True Freedom in Allegiance
[25:15] - Overcoming People-Pleasing
[26:46] - The Lord's Prayer as a Guide
[28:27] - Thy Kingdom Come
[29:27] - God's Will in Our Lives
[30:00] - Daily Needs and Forgiveness
[31:18] - The Ultimate Reality
[32:07] - Closing Prayer
Study Guide
Bible Study Discussion Guide
Bible Reading:
1. 1 Samuel 2:29 - "Why do you give your sons more honor than you give me?"
2. Colossians 1:13-14 - "For he has rescued us from the kingdom of darkness and transferred us into the kingdom of his dear Son, who purchased our freedom and forgave our sins."
3. Philippians 3:20 - "But we are citizens of heaven, where the Lord Jesus Christ lives. And we are eagerly waiting for him to return as our Savior."
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Observation Questions:
1. What were the actions of Eli's sons that demonstrated their disregard for God's honor? [05:10]
2. How does the sermon describe the two kingdoms mentioned in the Bible? [08:01]
3. What was the significance of Jessica Buchanan's rescue story in the context of the sermon? [09:18]
4. How does the Lord's Prayer help us align our lives with God's kingdom according to the sermon? [26:46]
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Interpretation Questions:
1. How does Eli's failure to correct his sons illustrate the dangers of people-pleasing? [05:10]
2. In what ways does the sermon suggest that our identity as citizens of God's kingdom should influence our daily lives? [14:22]
3. How does the story of Jessica Buchanan serve as a metaphor for spiritual rescue and transformation? [12:07]
4. What does the sermon imply about the importance of giving God the ultimate weight in our lives? [23:42]
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Application Questions:
1. Reflect on a time when you prioritized pleasing others over honoring God. How did it affect your relationship with God and others? [05:10]
2. In what areas of your life do you struggle with people-pleasing, and how can you begin to shift your focus to pleasing God instead? [04:35]
3. How can you remind yourself daily of your identity as a citizen of God's kingdom? What practical steps can you take to live out this identity? [14:22]
4. Consider the two kingdoms described in the sermon. Which kingdom do your actions and decisions currently reflect, and how can you realign them with God's kingdom? [18:07]
5. How can the Lord's Prayer become a more integral part of your prayer life to help you focus on God's will and kingdom? [26:46]
6. Identify a specific area in your life where you need to give God more weight and honor. What changes can you make to prioritize His will in that area? [23:42]
7. Think of a person or situation where you have been hesitant to speak up for fear of conflict. How can you approach this with integrity and courage, seeking to honor God above all? [04:35]
Devotional
Day 1: The Slavery of People-Pleasing
In our journey of faith, we often fall into the trap of people-pleasing, where we seek validation from others rather than focusing on our true purpose. This desire to be liked and accepted can lead us to compromise our integrity, avoid conflict, and overcommit ourselves, all in the pursuit of approval. However, this path leads to a form of slavery, where we are controlled by the opinions and expectations of others. The story of Eli in 1 Samuel serves as a cautionary tale of how people-pleasing can lead us away from God's will, as Eli prioritized his sons' approval over God's honor. True freedom comes from seeking to please God above all else. [04:35]
Galatians 1:10 (ESV): "For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ."
Reflection: Identify a recent situation where you compromised your values to please others. How can you seek God's approval in similar situations moving forward?
Day 2: Our Allegiance to God's Kingdom
As citizens of God's kingdom, our primary allegiance is to Him. This allegiance brings freedom and aligns us with our created purpose: to give God glory. Our identity as citizens of God's kingdom should transcend all other roles in our lives. Just as Jessica Buchanan was dramatically rescued from captivity, we too have been rescued from the kingdom of darkness and transferred into the kingdom of Jesus. This transformation changes our identity and calls us to live out our roles in life with the understanding that we are first and foremost citizens of God's kingdom. [06:51]
Colossians 1:13-14 (ESV): "He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins."
Reflection: In what ways can you prioritize your identity as a citizen of God's kingdom over other identities you hold in your daily life?
Day 3: Choosing Between Two Kingdoms
There are only two kingdoms: the kingdom of God and the kingdom of darkness. Our lives are a reflection of which kingdom we serve. By choosing to serve God, we align ourselves with His ultimate reality and purpose. The parables of Jesus remind us of this dichotomy, urging us to live in a way that reflects our allegiance to God's kingdom. The Lord's Prayer provides a framework for aligning our lives with God's will, reminding us to give God the ultimate weight in our lives. [18:07]
Matthew 6:24 (ESV): "No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money."
Reflection: Reflect on a decision you are currently facing. Which kingdom does your choice serve, and how can you ensure it aligns with God's kingdom?
Day 4: The Transformative Power of the Lord's Prayer
The Lord's Prayer centers our lives on God's kingdom and will. By praying for His kingdom to come and His will to be done, we align our lives with His purposes, finding freedom in living for His glory. This prayer is a powerful tool for reorienting our hearts and minds towards God's ultimate reality. It reminds us to seek His guidance in all aspects of our lives, trusting that His plans are greater than our own. [28:27]
Matthew 6:9-10 (ESV): "Pray then like this: 'Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.'"
Reflection: How can you incorporate the Lord's Prayer into your daily routine to help align your life with God's will?
Day 5: Living for God's Glory
We were created to give God glory, and we only experience true freedom when we live for this purpose. By giving God the ultimate weight in our lives, we align ourselves with His will and experience the freedom of living as His citizens. Our lives should be a reflection of His glory, and our actions should point others towards Him. This is our ultimate purpose and calling as followers of Christ. [31:18]
1 Corinthians 10:31 (ESV): "So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God."
Reflection: What is one specific way you can live for God's glory today, in your interactions with others or in your personal habits?
Quotes
Whoever we please controls us. You know, there's an interesting story about people pleasing in the book of 1 Samuel. A priest named Eli was afraid to correct his sons, and his sons were selfish. They were stealing the animal sacrifices. They were using their power position to seduce young women who assisted at the temple. But Eli was a people pleaser, and he did not correct his own sons. Evidently, he feared their reactions. In essence, his sons controlled Eli. And what was at the root of that kind of people pleasing? Well, this is how God responds to Eli's child-pleasing parenting. Why do you give your sons more honor than you give me? Thinking lightly of God is at the root of people pleasing. You know, God is the ultimate reality. Therefore, he carries the ultimate weight. This is what it means to honor God. To honor God means we give God ultimate weight. To honor God is to think highly of God more than any other person, including ourselves.
God is the ultimate reality. He is a king over a kingdom. And we as believers are citizens of that kingdom. And Paul writes this, For he has rescued us from the kingdom of darkness and transferred us into the kingdom of his dear son. There are only two kingdoms in this world. What's a kingdom? A kingdom is where a king rules. It is where a king extends his influence. It is where people submit to his rule. Now, as Americans, we're not used to kings or monarchies. In fact, we rebelled against a king and we set up a democracy. And we've got this inbred, independent, don't tread on me kind of tendency. So we don't like to submit to anyone. Now, when we look at a globe or a map, we see a whole bunch of countries in the world where presidents and prime ministers and kings and queens and dictators are all extending their rule.
We were prisoners under the control of the Prince of Darkness. But since we were created in God's image, we are valuable to God. He cares. So God designed a rescue mission and sent his own son, Jesus, just like we are. Obama sent the SEAL Team 6. And Jesus jumped into this dark world, just as SEAL Team 6 parachuted into the dark kingdom of Somalia. But Jesus did more than SEAL Team 6. While the SEALs risked their lives for Jessica, Jesus actually did lose his life. His life became the ransom. He paid a ransom worth much more than $45 million. He paid the ransom with his own life. And that's what the next verse says. Who purchased our freedom, purchased or ransomed our freedom and forgave our sins. You know, Jessica did nothing to rescue herself. She was helpless. And in the same way, we can do nothing to save ourselves. And the only thing that we can do is call out for help. Lord, rescue me.
We live out of how we see ourselves. And in this month, this is where we're going. We figure out freedom when we live out of our brand new identity. And today, we're going to be talking about this. When we see ourselves as a new citizen with a new allegiance, we experience a new freedom. Now, Paul writes the Christians at Philippi this. He says, But we are citizens of heaven where the Lord Jesus Christ lives. And we are eagerly waiting for him to return as our Savior. This is my new identity. I'm a citizen of the kingdom of God. And I have a king. And he's coming back. and I'm eagerly waiting for him to return, and on that day, I'm going to stand before him, and I'm going to give an account for my life. This is my ultimate reality.
There are only two types of power in the world, the devil and the Lord. There are only two allegiances. And despite all our roles and identity, we either serve the devil or we serve the Lord. We either please the Lord or we please the devil. And I remember when I first heard that song, I thought, no, isn't there a third option? Can't I just serve me? I mean, isn't that the third option? I know I don't want to serve Satan, and I'm not quite sure about being all in on Jesus. So isn't serving myself in my own interest option number three? There are only two powers, and there are only two allegiances. And the hard truth is that serving yourself is serving the devil, because if he can get you caught up with yourself, then you are no longer caught up with God.
The most fundamental reason we exist is to give God glory. This means the greatest purpose in our life is to give God glory or to give God weight. And we only experience true freedom when we live for the very reason in which we were created. You know, when Mary and I, we're living in Ames, we experienced an ice storm that just covered the sidewalk with a layer of slick ice. In order to carry out my civic duty, my job was to rid that sidewalk of that ice. How am I going to get ice off a sidewalk? So I went into the tool shed to look for some kind of ice-breaking implement, and I chose a garden hoe. And I began whacking the ice with the hoe, and guess what? Within minutes, the hoe splintered into pieces. That day, I learned a valuable lesson. If you use tools in ways they weren't designed, they break. And in the same way we break when we live for a purpose in which we weren't designed.
We only experience freedom when we give God our complete allegiance. He is the Lord of lords and the King of kings. He's not to be a hobby. He's not to be simply a side interest. Jesus is not someone to think about only on Sunday mornings. He's not just a part of a self-improvement plan. He is the ultimate reality. We are created to give allegiance to someone greater than ourselves. There are only two kingdoms, the kingdom of God and the kingdom of darkness. There are not three kingdoms to choose from, the kingdom of God, the kingdom of darkness, and the kingdom of yourself. Yes, you're going to have to serve somebody. Well, it may be the devil, it may be the Lord, but you're going to have to serve somebody.
I finally came to a spot in my life, it was actually several years after becoming a Christian, where I finally just submitted everything to God. And I pray, God, I am now willing to do anything that you ask. I yield myself to you, I submit myself to you. You are now the most important person in my life, more important about what you think than what any other person thinks. Including myself. And it was then I finally felt more free from the slavery of being a people pleaser. See, when we see ourselves as a new citizen with a new allegiance, we experience a new freedom.
Regularly pray the Lord's Prayer. You know, I think this is one reason why the Lord gave us the Lord's Prayer. You know, the disciples came to Jesus one day, and they asked Jesus, teach us how to pray, and he gave them the Lord's Prayer, but I don't think he gave them and gave us this prayer to pray mindlessly or repetitiously. He gave us this prayer to form the content of our own prayers, to script our own prayers. He gave us this prayer to focus our attention on what's really important, the kingdom of God, and we're going to take a look at the Lord's Prayer in the old King James Version, which has provided the vocabulary for the verse, of the Lord's Prayer that most of us are familiar with, and this is how it starts. Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name.
The greatest freedom in the world is when we live for God's will. If you're a teenager or if you're in your 20s, you have your whole life ahead of you. You're making choices right now that are going to affect the rest of your life. So who is influencing your decisions? Is it your friends, your parents, your own desires, or God? Give God weight. And say to God, Thy will be done in my life. So how does the Lord's Prayer continue here? Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. So after centering ourselves on the greatness and the weightiness of God, we turn to our own needs. We say, Lord, give me the sustenance and the ability and the strength today to do your will.
For thine is the kingdom, the power, and the glory forever and ever. Amen. I want you to notice that word for, for. We pray all this because God is the ultimate reality. He is the king of the greatest kingdom in the universe. He has ultimate power. He has and will receive ultimate glory. He is weighty and we are not. He is weighty and other people are not. And we figure out freedom when we live for this ultimate reality. When you see yourself as a new citizen with a new allegiance, you experience a new freedom.
[00:05:09]
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