Forgiving God: Embracing Pain for Deeper Faith

 

Summary

In our journey through life, we inevitably encounter pain and suffering, leading us to grapple with the concept of forgiveness. While forgiving others is a challenge, perhaps the greatest crisis of forgiveness arises when we feel the need to forgive God. This notion may seem theologically perplexing, as God is inherently good and perfect. However, the Bible presents us with examples of individuals who express their anguish and accusations towards God, such as in Psalm 22 and the Book of Job. These texts reveal a raw honesty that fosters a deeper relationship with God, one that is not achieved through politeness or caution.

The ancient Israelites, despite their unwavering belief in a supremely good God, were unique in their willingness to voice their laments and complaints to Him. This openness is rooted in the understanding that God cares about our prayers and is willing to walk with us through our suffering. Forgiveness, in this context, is about healing our unforgiveness, which can fester within us if left unaddressed. It involves recalling our hurt with God, being deeply honest, and allowing silence to challenge us to seek healing rather than mere comfort.

The story of Job illustrates that those who suffer and continue to seek God gain a privileged knowledge of Him. They pass through a door that only pain can open, allowing them to speak of God in ways that others cannot. Silence plays a crucial role in this journey, creating space within us for God to fill with new life. Job's story teaches us that trusting God often involves challenging Him, demanding His presence in our moments of loss.

In personal stories of loss, such as that of Lou and Doris, we see the struggle to reconcile the goodness of life with the pain of loss. Their journey towards healing involved leaning on each other and rediscovering life's goodness despite their suffering. This process mirrors the act of forgiving God, where we hold onto our faith and walk through the journey of healing unforgiveness at the core of our being.

Key Takeaways:

- Forgiving God may seem theologically challenging, but the Bible provides examples of individuals who express their anguish and accusations towards Him. This raw honesty fosters a deeper relationship with God, one that is not achieved through politeness or caution. [02:47]

- The Israelites' willingness to voice their laments and complaints to God is rooted in their belief that He cares about their prayers and is willing to walk with them through suffering. This openness is essential for healing unforgiveness. [05:07]

- The story of Job illustrates that those who suffer and continue to seek God gain a privileged knowledge of Him. They pass through a door that only pain can open, allowing them to speak of God in ways that others cannot. [06:58]

- Silence plays a crucial role in the journey of forgiving God, creating space within us for God to fill with new life. Trusting God often involves challenging Him and demanding His presence in our moments of loss. [08:05]

- Personal stories of loss, like that of Lou and Doris, show the struggle to reconcile life's goodness with the pain of loss. Their journey towards healing involved rediscovering life's goodness despite suffering, mirroring the act of forgiving God. [11:31]

Youtube Chapters:

- [00:00] - Welcome
- [00:42] - The Crisis of Forgiving God
- [01:26] - A Story of Forgiveness
- [02:28] - Theological Challenges
- [03:01] - Biblical Examples of Lament
- [03:50] - The Honesty of Job
- [04:42] - Israel's Unique Prayers
- [05:22] - Healing Unforgiveness
- [06:07] - The Sufferer's Privileged Knowledge
- [07:17] - The Role of Silence
- [08:24] - Job's Encounter with God
- [09:10] - A Personal Story of Loss
- [10:47] - The Pain of Loss
- [11:46] - Rediscovering Life's Goodness
- [12:21] - The Journey of Healing

Study Guide

### Bible Study Discussion Guide

#### Bible Reading
1. Psalm 22:1-2 - "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, so far from my cries of anguish?"
2. Job 3:1-4 - "After this, Job opened his mouth and cursed the day of his birth. He said: 'May the day of my birth perish, and the night that said, ‘A boy is conceived!’ That day—may it turn to darkness; may God above not care about it; may no light shine on it.'"
3. Matthew 27:46 - "About three in the afternoon Jesus cried out in a loud voice, 'Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?' (which means 'My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?')."

#### Observation Questions
1. In Psalm 22, what emotions does the psalmist express towards God, and how does this reflect the theme of lament? [03:01]
2. How does Job's expression of anguish in Job 3:1-4 illustrate the raw honesty discussed in the sermon? [03:50]
3. What is the significance of Jesus quoting Psalm 22:1 on the cross, and how does it relate to the theme of feeling forsaken by God? [12:04]
4. How do the Israelites' prayers of lament and complaint differ from those of other ancient cultures, according to the sermon? [04:55]

#### Interpretation Questions
1. How does the act of lamenting and expressing anger towards God, as seen in the stories of Job and the psalmist, contribute to a deeper relationship with Him? [04:26]
2. What does the sermon suggest about the role of silence in the process of forgiving God, and how does it facilitate healing? [07:34]
3. How does the story of Lou and Doris illustrate the journey of healing and rediscovering life's goodness despite suffering? [11:46]
4. In what ways does the sermon suggest that suffering can lead to a privileged knowledge of God, as seen in the story of Job? [06:25]

#### Application Questions
1. Reflect on a time when you felt the need to forgive God. How did you express your feelings, and what was the outcome? [01:26]
2. How can you incorporate the practice of lament into your prayer life, and what impact might this have on your relationship with God? [04:42]
3. Silence is described as a friend that challenges us to be healed. How can you create space for silence in your life to allow God to fill it with new life? [07:34]
4. Consider a personal loss or struggle you have faced. How did it affect your perception of God's goodness, and what steps did you take towards healing? [11:31]
5. How can the story of Job inspire you to seek God more earnestly in times of suffering, and what practical steps can you take to deepen your faith during such times? [06:58]
6. In what ways can you support others in your community who are struggling with the concept of forgiving God, and how can you walk alongside them in their journey? [05:07]
7. Reflect on the idea that suffering can lead to a deeper knowledge of God. How can you embrace this perspective in your current or future challenges? [06:42]

Devotional

Day 1: The Raw Honesty of Forgiving God
In our spiritual journey, we may encounter moments where we feel the need to forgive God, a concept that can be theologically challenging. The Bible provides examples of individuals who express their anguish and accusations towards God, such as in Psalm 22 and the Book of Job. This raw honesty fosters a deeper relationship with God, one that is not achieved through politeness or caution. By being open about our feelings, we allow ourselves to engage with God on a more profound level, acknowledging our pain and seeking His presence in our struggles. [02:47]

Psalm 22:1-2 (ESV): "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, from the words of my groaning? O my God, I cry by day, but you do not answer, and by night, but I find no rest."

Reflection: Think of a time when you felt distant from God. How can you express your honest feelings to Him today, trusting that this honesty will deepen your relationship with Him?


Day 2: The Openness of Lament
The Israelites' willingness to voice their laments and complaints to God is rooted in their belief that He cares about their prayers and is willing to walk with them through suffering. This openness is essential for healing unforgiveness, as it allows us to confront our pain and seek God's presence in our lives. By voicing our laments, we acknowledge our struggles and invite God to walk with us through them, trusting that He will provide comfort and healing. [05:07]

Lamentations 3:31-33 (ESV): "For the Lord will not cast off forever, but, though he cause grief, he will have compassion according to the abundance of his steadfast love; for he does not willingly afflict or grieve the children of men."

Reflection: What is one area of your life where you feel the need to lament? How can you bring this lament to God, trusting in His compassion and willingness to walk with you through your suffering?


Day 3: The Privileged Knowledge of Suffering
The story of Job illustrates that those who suffer and continue to seek God gain a privileged knowledge of Him. They pass through a door that only pain can open, allowing them to speak of God in ways that others cannot. This unique understanding of God comes from experiencing His presence in the midst of suffering, leading to a deeper and more intimate relationship with Him. By embracing our pain and seeking God through it, we gain insights into His character and love that are not accessible through other means. [06:58]

Job 42:5-6 (ESV): "I had heard of you by the hearing of the ear, but now my eye sees you; therefore I despise myself, and repent in dust and ashes."

Reflection: Reflect on a time when you experienced suffering. How did this experience change your understanding of God, and how can you use this knowledge to deepen your relationship with Him today?


Day 4: The Role of Silence in Forgiveness
Silence plays a crucial role in the journey of forgiving God, creating space within us for God to fill with new life. Trusting God often involves challenging Him and demanding His presence in our moments of loss. By embracing silence, we allow ourselves to listen for God's voice and seek His guidance in our lives. This silence can be a powerful tool for healing, as it provides the space needed for God to work within us and bring about transformation. [08:05]

Habakkuk 2:20 (ESV): "But the Lord is in his holy temple; let all the earth keep silence before him."

Reflection: How can you incorporate moments of silence into your daily routine to create space for God to speak to you? What might you need to let go of to embrace this silence fully?


Day 5: Rediscovering Life's Goodness Through Loss
Personal stories of loss, like that of Lou and Doris, show the struggle to reconcile life's goodness with the pain of loss. Their journey towards healing involved rediscovering life's goodness despite suffering, mirroring the act of forgiving God. By holding onto our faith and walking through the journey of healing unforgiveness, we can find new meaning and purpose in our lives. This process involves leaning on others for support and trusting in God's presence, even in the midst of pain. [11:31]

Isaiah 61:3 (ESV): "To grant to those who mourn in Zion—to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit; that they may be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he may be glorified."

Reflection: Think of a loss you have experienced. How can you begin to rediscover the goodness of life despite this loss, and who can you lean on for support in this journey?

Quotes

"Forgiveness is Supernatural so we're on a journey for to forgiveness but what I have to talk to you about today is maybe the greatest crisis of forgiveness what do you do when the person that you need to forgive is God I got a text from a good friend as part of this series who's been listening in and he asked could you talk about forgiving God he said I've lost in this last year three people who are precious to me all quite young one my very best friend in ways that are unspeakably cruel and leave gaping holes in the lives of families." [00:40:41]

"Now I know I know I know I know um conventional theology tells us God is good and he is perfect and he doesn't do anything wrong and therefore uh to talk about forgiving God does not make sense it sounds impious it sounds wrong I know what strange is when we go to look in the Bible we find these very remarkable statements where people are simply doing precisely that so in Psalm 22 the psalmist begins my God my God why have you forsaken me and there is this strange contradiction this accusation you have forsaken me." [00:55:08]

"No one in the ancient world more than Israel believed that there is a God one God and that that God is supremely good and at the same time no one more than Israel wrote prayers directly to that God pouring out their anguish and their accusations The Book of Job is all about that and job says cursed be the day that I was born May It Be blotted out May those who curse days curse that days and then accuses God of you have shot your arrows into me their poison is killing me accuses God of shooting poison arrows." [00:59:59]

"People who are willing to be deeply honest with God come to a knowledge of him come to a realness in their relationship with him that people who are more polite and more distant and more careful and more cautious seem to be unable to achieve Ellen Davis writes about this uh in her book getting involved with God she writes about how um actually there's a connection between Israel's belief that God is supremely good and their Psalms of lament and complaint and accusation that those expressions those prayers are unique in the ancient world." [01:04:20]

"Remember as we're learning about the process of forgiveness one way to think about forgiving is it's healing our unforgiveness and that unforgiveness grows insides me as I ruminate and as I brood and it gets into my body and even on a human level it may not not always be clear to what extent was the person I think offended me the wrongdoer to what extent that they really do wrong or to what extent was it just uh my own insensitivity or or hypers sensitivity or problem I don't know I still need to go through the process." [01:14:24]

"Ellen Davis writes this um when she's talking about job from this book above all others in scripture we learn that the person in pain is a theologian of unique Authority the sufferer who keeps looking for God has in the end privileged knowledge the one who complains to God pleads with God rails at God does not does not let God off the hook for a minute she is at last admitted to a mystery she passes through a door that only pain will open and I know I know a lot of you stand at that door right now." [01:20:24]

"Silence she writes is the friend who challenges us to be healed when we wish simply to be soothed that sentence is so helpful to me I I want to be soothed but more than that I want to be healed it heals us uh by making us more empty creating a space within our hearts challenging us to what trust that God will use that space and fill it with new life no job's story forces us to put the matter more sharply trusting God is often a central preoccupation of the biblical writers but not in this book rather silence pushes job to challenge God." [01:27:12]

"When job finds words at last he demands steadily that God enter the abyss of loss and be revealed to him there and when we go through that book chapter after chapter of lament and complaint that day comes in the right time on the right day in the right moment in the right way job Sees God job looks into the face of God into God's vast project like we look into the face of somebody who loves us and then there is healing Lou writes uh in his little book about forgiving God about a great crisis in his own life." [01:31:40]

"While Doris was still in the hospital I buried the baby Doris never had a chance to see what he looked like she brought him alive into the world while I had waited out side I brought him dead into the ground while she waited inside then I began to feel the hurt the hurt was the loss of what we had waited for for so long and wanted more than we wanted anything else but it was also the teasing meanness of the crazy game that made us dizzy with pain why after the night of getting ready to love a deformed child." [01:42:20]

"Why after the surprise that even the doctors called a miracle why Miracle do was death the punchline I felt as if I were the butt of a cruel Divine joke would I end up hating God I knew I would never have the courage to bring my hate up front where God could see it I would turn my hate as Jeremiah did on my life cursed the day that I was born but we healed ourselves more quickly than we thought we would I wasn't aware of it then but I know now that what we did for healing." [01:46:59]

"We leaned on each other for strength we began to feel together a strange sense of our life's goodness in spite of this one rotten thing about it we felt together that our life was good in our shared hurt and in this strange sense of life's goodness I felt God again as The Giver not taker of life as the God I know in the suffering Jesus The God Who himself cried out on the cross my God my God why have you abandoned me I don't know what you have suffered I only know that you suffer and I too." [01:51:12]

"The Bible invites us to be as real and as honest and as open and as raw with God and to pour out your heart in complaining God I don't know why this is happening this so hard for me to hold on to you and then hold on and walk through the Journey of having unforgiveness healed at the absolute core of your life and soul forgive us our debts as we forgive." [01:55:39]

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Transcript
What was the most surprising thing in this sermon?
Were there any personal stories shared?