Forgiveness: The Key to Spiritual Freedom
Summary
Today’s focus is on one of the most challenging and transformative commands in Scripture: forgiveness. Drawing from Jesus’ teaching in Matthew 6, the call to forgive is not just a suggestion, but a central part of the life of anyone who follows Christ. While we often find it easy to pray for God’s provision and even for His will to be done, the command to forgive those who have hurt us is something many of us would rather avoid. Yet, Jesus makes it clear that forgiveness is not optional—it is essential for our spiritual health and freedom.
Forgiveness is not about excusing or forgetting what others have done, nor is it about letting people back into places of trust without wisdom. Rather, forgiveness is the key that unlocks the prison of bitterness and offense that can so easily take root in our hearts. When we hold onto unforgiveness, we are the ones who remain bound, not the person who hurt us. Jesus’ words are direct: if we do not forgive others, we hinder our own experience of God’s forgiveness in our daily walk.
The process of forgiveness is not a one-time event, but a journey. It begins with honest self-examination—identifying the twinge in our hearts when we see or think about those who have hurt us. We must confess these feelings to God, and sometimes to a trusted confidant, so that healing can begin. We ask the Holy Spirit to change our hearts, knowing that God cannot transform what we insist on holding onto. True forgiveness is evidenced when we no longer feel the need to rehearse the offense, nurse our wounds, or curse those who hurt us. Instead, we disperse the pain and allow God to reverse the effects in our lives.
Forgiveness does not mean the absence of boundaries. There are people who, because of their actions, should not have access to our lives or our families. But forgiveness means we are no longer held captive by anger, bitterness, or the desire for revenge. Over time, as we continue to choose forgiveness, we find ourselves free—sometimes only realizing it when we encounter the person and feel no sting, only peace.
No matter how deep the hurt, the journey of forgiveness is possible. It is a process of continually choosing to let go, trusting that God’s ways are always for our good and His glory.
Key Takeaways
- Forgiveness is the key that sets you free, not the person who hurt you. Holding onto unforgiveness binds your own heart, while releasing it opens the door to freedom and healing. The act of forgiving is as much about your own spiritual health as it is about the other person. [53:58]
- The process of forgiveness begins with honest self-examination and prayer. Recognize the emotional “twinge” when you encounter someone who has hurt you, and bring that feeling before God immediately. Confession—both to God and, when appropriate, to a trusted confidant—initiates the healing process. [01:01:07]
- Unforgiveness, if left unchecked, becomes bitterness that defiles not only your own life but also those around you. Bitterness can destroy families, friendships, and even entire communities, spreading trouble and pain far beyond the original offense. Guard your heart by dealing with offenses quickly and thoroughly. [55:51]
- Forgiveness is a continual choice, not a one-time event. You may have to choose to forgive again and again, especially when old wounds are triggered. Over time, as you persist in this choice, you will find that the pain loses its power and true freedom emerges. [01:19:42]
- True forgiveness is evidenced when you no longer feel the need to rehearse, nurse, or curse the offense, and when you can genuinely pray for the well-being of those who hurt you. Boundaries may still be necessary, but your heart is no longer captive to anger or revenge. This is the work of God’s grace in your life. [01:24:18]
Youtube Chapters
[00:00] - Welcome
[02:00] - Offering and Worship
[06:30] - Announcements and Ministry Updates
[13:00] - The Loneliness of Pastors and Community
[19:30] - Introduction to the New Series
[25:00] - The Challenge of Difficult Scriptures
[38:39] - Jesus’ Teaching on Prayer and Forgiveness
[47:18] - The Reality of Daily Offense
[51:27] - The Necessity of Forgiving Others
[53:58] - Forgiveness: The Key to Freedom
[55:51] - The Danger of Bitterness
[01:01:07] - Practical Steps to Forgiveness
[01:06:58] - Personal Story: Forgiving Deep Wounds
[01:10:53] - Signs of True Forgiveness
[01:14:15] - The Journey to Complete Freedom
[01:19:42] - Forgiveness as a Process
[01:21:20] - Obedience and the Goodness of God
[01:24:18] - Praying for Those Who Hurt Us
[01:27:54] - Invitation to Prayer and Response
Study Guide
Bible Study Discussion Guide: The Journey of Forgiveness
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### Bible Reading
- Matthew 6:9-15
“This, then, is how you should pray:
‘Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name,
your kingdom come, your will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us today our daily bread.
And forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from the evil one.’
For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.
But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
- Hebrews 12:14-15
“Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no ‘root of bitterness’ springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled.”
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### Observation Questions
1. In Matthew 6, what does Jesus connect to our experience of God’s forgiveness? How does He describe the relationship between forgiving others and being forgiven?
2. According to Hebrews 12:14-15, what are the dangers of allowing bitterness to take root in our hearts?
3. The sermon described forgiveness as a “key that sets you free.” What does this mean, and who is actually set free when we forgive? [[53:58]]
4. What practical steps did the pastor mention for beginning the process of forgiveness? [[01:01:07]]
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### Interpretation Questions
1. Why do you think Jesus made forgiveness such a central part of the Lord’s Prayer, right alongside daily needs and God’s will? What does this say about its importance in our spiritual lives? [[38:39]]
2. The pastor said, “Forgiveness is not about excusing or forgetting what others have done, nor is it about letting people back into places of trust without wisdom.” How does this understanding of forgiveness differ from what people often assume? [[01:06:58]]
3. Hebrews warns that bitterness can “defile many.” In what ways can one person’s unforgiveness affect families, friendships, or even whole communities? [[55:51]]
4. The sermon described forgiveness as a continual choice, not a one-time event. Why might forgiveness need to be chosen again and again, especially when old wounds are triggered? [[01:19:42]]
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### Application Questions
1. The pastor talked about feeling a “twinge” in his heart when seeing someone who had hurt him. Is there someone in your life who brings up that kind of reaction? What would it look like to bring that feeling honestly before God this week? [[01:01:07]]
2. The process of forgiveness starts with self-examination and confession. Is there a specific situation or relationship where you need to confess unforgiveness to God—or maybe to a trusted friend for healing? What’s holding you back? [[01:01:07]]
3. The sermon warned that holding onto unforgiveness can lead to bitterness, which can “defile many.” Have you seen this happen in your own family or community? What steps could you take to prevent bitterness from taking root in your own heart? [[55:51]]
4. The pastor shared that true forgiveness is when you no longer feel the need to “rehearse, nurse, or curse” the offense. Are you still rehearsing or nursing an old hurt? What would it look like to stop, and how could you ask God to help you let go? [[01:10:53]]
5. Forgiveness does not mean the absence of boundaries. Are there people in your life who you need to forgive, but also need to keep healthy boundaries with? How can you do both—release the anger, but still protect yourself and your family? [[01:06:58]]
6. The pastor described how, over time, his prayers for those who hurt him changed from “God, get them” to “God, bless them.” How have your prayers for someone who hurt you changed (or not changed) over time? What would it take to genuinely pray for their well-being? [[01:24:18]]
7. The journey of forgiveness is a process. If you find yourself “backsliding” into old feelings of anger or hurt, what practical steps can you take to choose forgiveness again? Who can support you in this journey? [[01:19:42]]
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Closing Prayer Suggestion:
Invite the group to spend a few moments in silent prayer, asking God to reveal any areas of unforgiveness in their hearts and to give them the courage to begin or continue the journey of forgiveness.
Devotional
Day 1: Forgiveness Is the Key That Sets You Free
Forgiveness is not just about letting someone else off the hook; it is the key that unlocks your own prison and sets you free from the bondage of bitterness and pain. When you hold onto unforgiveness, it rarely affects the person who hurt you, but it always impacts your own heart, your peace, and your relationship with God. Jesus made it clear that forgiving others is not optional for His followers—He said, “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
Choosing to forgive is an act of trust in God’s justice and mercy. It means releasing your right to get even and allowing God to handle the outcome. This doesn’t mean what happened to you was okay, but it does mean you are choosing freedom over bondage. When you forgive, you open the door to healing and peace, and you allow God to work in your heart and circumstances in ways you never could on your own. [53:58]
Matthew 6:14-15
“For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
Reflection: Who is someone you need to forgive today, not for their sake, but so you can walk in the freedom God desires for you?
Day 2: Forgiveness Starts with Prayer
The journey to forgiveness always begins with prayer. Before you can process your pain or seek counsel, you must first bring your hurt and your offender before God. Jesus taught His disciples to pray, “Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors,” embedding forgiveness into the very fabric of our daily prayers.
Prayer is where you lay your wounds before the Lord and ask Him to help you do what feels impossible. It’s where you confess your struggle, ask for strength, and invite the Holy Spirit to begin the work of softening your heart. Even if your prayers start out raw and honest—“God, I don’t want to forgive”—that’s the place to start. God meets you in your honesty and begins to change you from the inside out. [51:27]
Matthew 6:12
“And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.”
Reflection: What is one hurt or offense you need to bring to God in prayer today, asking Him to help you begin the process of forgiveness?
Day 3: Bitterness Defiles and Destroys
Unforgiveness, if left unchecked, grows into bitterness, and bitterness will poison your heart and your relationships. The Bible warns, “See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled.” Bitterness doesn’t just affect you; it spreads, damaging families, friendships, and even entire communities.
When you allow bitterness to take root, it clouds your perspective and makes it difficult to experience joy, peace, or healthy relationships. It can even impact your physical and emotional health. The only way to uproot bitterness is to choose forgiveness, again and again, until the wound no longer stings and the memory no longer controls you. [01:01:07]
Hebrews 12:14-15
“Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled.”
Reflection: Is there a root of bitterness in your heart that is affecting your relationships? What step can you take today to begin uprooting it?
Day 4: Forgiveness Is a Process, Not a One-Time Event
Forgiveness is rarely a one-and-done decision; it’s a process that you may have to walk through over and over until your heart is truly free. You might think you’ve forgiven, only to see the person or hear their name and feel that old twinge of pain or anger. That’s normal. Each time it happens, you have the opportunity to choose forgiveness again, to bring it back to God, and to ask Him to keep working in your heart.
Over time, as you keep choosing to forgive, you’ll find that the pain loses its grip and your prayers for that person change. You may even find yourself able to pray for their good, not just their punishment. True forgiveness is when you can encounter the person or the memory and realize the sting is gone, and you are finally free. [01:19:42]
Colossians 3:13
“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”
Reflection: When you feel that old hurt rise up again, how can you remind yourself that forgiveness is a process and choose to forgive once more today?
Day 5: Forgiveness Transforms Your Heart and Prayers
As you walk the journey of forgiveness, you’ll notice a transformation not just in your emotions, but in your prayers. At first, your prayers for those who hurt you may be honest but harsh—asking God to deal with them or even to punish them. But as God heals your heart, your prayers begin to change. You start to pray for their healing, for their families, and for God’s blessing in their lives.
This is the evidence that forgiveness has taken root and that God has truly set you free. You may still have boundaries, and you don’t have to be close to those who hurt you, but your heart is no longer chained to the pain. You are able to wish them well and genuinely desire God’s best for them, which is the ultimate sign of a heart transformed by grace. [01:24:18]
Luke 6:27-28
“But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.”
Reflection: How have your prayers for someone who hurt you changed over time, and what does that reveal about the healing God is doing in your heart?
Quotes
forgiveness is the key that sets you free see there's this misunderstanding about forgiveness is that I forgive so that it lets them off the hook [00:53:36] (15 seconds)
but you forgiving others has as much to do with your freedom as it does theirs you see what I'm saying and and what what we gain from that scripture that I just read is that I hold the key to the prison that holds me in bondage [00:53:58] (32 seconds)
so forgiveness is the key that sets you free second thing I need you to understand is that forgiveness starts with prayer okay now I know there's a push for counseling and I'm all for counseling I actually recommend that every pastor that I know meets with a counselor because I think it is healthy okay but I can meet with all the counselors I want but if I haven't first submitted that to the Lord that's why he says this is how you should pray and then in the middle of it he gets you into it it's like he tricks you he gets you right in there and then all of a sudden he goes [00:57:03] (42 seconds)
first you need to identify your feelings what do you mean you know when someone has offended you and you happen to be grocery shopping and all of a sudden on one end of the aisle you see them on the other and there is this twinge that happens in your heart that's unforgiveness [01:04:59] (20 seconds)
God I recognize it and I confess it now there are two ways that you need to confess this okay number one you need to confess it to God you need to identify it to God but then James chapter 5 and verse 16 confess your faults one to another confess your sins one to another so that you may be healed your confession to a trusted confidant has nothing to do with your forgiveness it has to do with your healing [01:06:27] (31 seconds)
so we've got to ask God to change our feelings if we want to hold on to it God can't change what we want to hold on to we have to go God I recognize this is unforgiveness I confess it to you and I'm asking you Holy Spirit to change that in me turn that thing around do not let unforgiveness bury itself in my heart and become bitterness and then R .T. Kendall gave me one more thing that I was like man [01:10:23] (29 seconds)
rehearse it that means stop dwelling on it don't nurse it means don't continually feed it every chance you get if you're not healed from it and I had a preacher tell me this a long time ago he said you're going to want to use things from your life in a sermon but if it hasn't been redeemed yet don't use it he said because at that point you're doing nothing but rehearsing it and nursing it and he said you'll never heal from it as long as you do that okay this was 2011 I can tell you this now because I heal from it but it's been in the last year or two that I've actually started even mentioning this from the pulpit because I was still dealing with it okay [01:12:41] (43 seconds)
I'm telling you you could be if you just make the choice to start the journey pastor what do I do if I if I see them and I backslide right I fall back into unforgiveness turn around and make the choice again I can't tell you how many times over those few years man I backslid I fell right back into unforgiveness I'd see them across the room and I'd be like I can't stand them I hope God strikes them dead right come on right just make the choice all over again and I'm gonna choose to forgive [01:22:08] (48 seconds)
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