Put the Spear Down: Choosing Forgiveness Over Bitterness

Sep 13, 2026

Devotional

Day 1: The Spear Nobody Threw

When victory songs become comparisons, jealousy sharpens its weapon. Saul’s bitterness began with a lyric that stung his pride, twisting celebration into rivalry. Anger festered as he measured his worth against David’s triumphs, installing a lens of suspicion that distorted every interaction. Unchecked resentment opened a door for torment, proving that unresolved bitterness invites chaos. Forgiveness starts by disarming the heart before the spear leaves your hand. [34:30]

“Saul has killed his thousands, and David his ten thousands!” This made Saul very angry. “They credit David with ten thousands,” he complained, “but me with only thousands. What’s next for him—the kingdom?” So from that time on Saul kept a jealous eye on David. (1 Samuel 18:7–9, NLT)

Reflection: When have you felt the sting of comparison hardening your heart? What step can you take today to lay down the “spear” of jealousy before it flies?

Day 2: Toothpaste and the Words You Can’t Take Back

Words, like squeezed toothpaste, spread messily once released. Saul’s rage hurled accusations and spears, leaving wounds no apology could fully heal. Hasty words often reveal unchecked bitterness, and once spoken, they linger like echoes in relationships. True peace begins by guarding the heart’s gate, refusing to let anger shape sentences. Wisdom pauses to ask: will these words heal or harm? [32:32]

Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. (Ephesians 4:29, NLT)

Reflection: What recent words of yours still ache in someone’s heart? How can you replace harshness with grace in your next conversation?

Day 3: The Tormenting Spirit and the Door Left Open

Anger is an open door. Saul’s refusal to release jealousy invited a tormenting spirit, turning his palace into a prison of paranoia. Bitterness doesn’t just hurt others—it hollows the soul, making room for darker forces. Closing that door starts with surrendering the right to retaliate, trusting God to guard what we cannot control. Peace flourishes where forgiveness locks the entryway. [38:10]

And “don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you’re still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil. (Ephesians 4:26–27, NLT)

Reflection: What unresolved anger have you left “unlocked” in your heart? What would it look like to hand God the key today?

Day 4: Cutting the Hem, Not the Throat

David held Saul’s life in his hands—and chose mercy over revenge. Cutting the robe’s hem symbolized releasing Saul’s kingship to God rather than seizing it himself. Forgiveness often means surrendering the illusion of control, trusting God to judge justly. Like David, we honor others’ humanity even when they’ve wounded ours. Mercy disarms the fight. [53:13]

[David] said to his men, “The Lord forbid that I should do this to my lord the king. I shouldn’t attack the Lord’s anointed one, for the Lord himself has chosen him.” So David restrained his men and did not let them kill Saul. (1 Samuel 24:6–7, NLT)

Reflection: Where has God asked you to “cut the hem” instead of seeking vengeance? How does trusting His timing ease your grip on justice?

Day 5: Stealing the Spear, Not Throwing It

David took Saul’s spear but refused to use it—a paradox of grace. Holding proof of his enemy’s vulnerability, he chose to expose Saul’s blindness rather than exploit it. Forgiveness doesn’t mean ignoring harm; it means disarming its power over you. Sometimes the boldest act is walking away, leaving vengeance to the One who sees the full story. [01:05:24]

But David said to Abishai, “Don’t kill him! For who can remain innocent after attacking the Lord’s anointed one? Surely the Lord will strike Saul down someday, or he will die of old age. But the Lord forbid that I should kill the one he has anointed!” (1 Samuel 26:9–11, NLT)

Reflection: What “spear” have you been tempted to throw that God is asking you to lay down? How would releasing it shift your focus to His faithfulness?

Sermon Summary

David’s story in 1 Samuel 18 begins with a song that Saul hears through a bitter lens. The women’s victory song likely uses poetic language, but Saul does not hear celebration. Saul hears a threat. Saul’s anger turns into a jealous eye, and jealousy becomes the glasses through which he sees everything David does.

Anger, left unchecked, opens a door. Ephesians warns that anger gives the devil a foothold, and Saul’s hard heart shows what happens when that foothold becomes a way of life. God does not throw Saul’s spear. Saul throws the spear. God permits what Saul’s bitterness has opened the door for, just as God gave Saul chance after chance to repent before allowing him to live with the consequences of his own hard heart.

Bitterness is not just a feeling. Bitterness becomes a verdict in the heart, then everything becomes evidence that the verdict must be true. Saul judges David by every action, while David keeps showing that Saul’s suspicions are not true. The same kind of lens still makes people judge others by their actions while judging themselves by their intentions. Words, suspicion, accusations, and assumptions are like toothpaste. Once they are squeezed out, they do not go back in.

David receives two clear chances to kill Saul, yet David refuses to take revenge. David cuts Saul’s robe in the cave, and his heart strikes him because Saul remains the Lord’s anointed. David later enters Saul’s camp, finds the spear beside Saul’s head, and tells Abishai to take the spear and water jug instead of taking Saul’s life. The opportunity looks God-ordained, but David knows that an opportunity for revenge is not always God’s permission to act.

Forgiveness enables David to put the spear down. David does not pretend that Saul has done nothing wrong, and David does not go back to the palace after Saul goes home. Forgiveness takes one person, but reconciliation takes two. David forgives Saul while still going back to his stronghold, because distance can be wise when trust has been broken and safety is at stake.

Jesus gives the clearest picture of this kind of surrender. Jesus flips tables over injustice done to others, yet Jesus remains silent when people falsely accuse, insult, and crucify Him. Christ leaves His case in the hands of the Father who judges fairly. Forgiveness does not let evil off the hook. Forgiveness puts evil in a higher court than any bitter heart could ever provide. Gratitude grows when bitterness is released and God becomes the defender.

Key Takeaways

1. Anger opens a door to bitterness. Anger itself can be real and even understandable, but anger that controls the heart gives the enemy room to work. Saul’s anger did not stay contained. Saul’s anger became jealousy, suspicion, and eventually a spear in his hand. [38:10]
2. Bitterness installs a distorted lens. Jealousy caused Saul to interpret David’s faithfulness as a threat. Bitterness does the same thing when it turns every word, action, and silence into supposed proof against someone. A heart carrying a verdict will keep gathering evidence to support it. [45:40]
3. Forgiveness is not reconciliation. David forgave Saul, but David did not return to the palace or act as if nothing happened. Forgiveness is one person releasing revenge to God, while reconciliation requires repentance, safety, truth, and participation from both people. Distance does not always mean unforgiveness. [79:23]
4. God is the defender, not self. David could have defended himself with Saul’s own spear, but David trusted God to handle Saul. Christ also refused retaliation and left His case with the Father who judges fairly. A surrendered heart puts the spear down rather than becoming judge, jury, and executioner. [74:25]
5. Gratitude can grow after release. Forgiveness does not call dark things good, but it recognizes that God can bring His work out of painful things. Gratitude becomes possible when bitterness no longer owns the story. God can use even ugly chapters to form a heart that trusts Him more deeply.

## [82:09]

Youtube Chapters

[00:00] - Welcome
[23:41] - Prayer and the Gift of Salvation
[29:04] - Four Questions for Intentional Disciples
[30:23] - Snowballs, Words, and What Cannot Be Taken Back
[32:48] - Bitterness Is Pain Kept
[34:05] - Saul Hears the Victory Song
[37:43] - Anger Gives the Devil a Foothold
[39:30] - Saul’s Hard Heart and the Tormenting Spirit
[44:10] - Saul Throws the Spear
[49:30] - David Spares Saul in the Cave
[59:14] - Forgiveness and Reconciliation Are Different
[62:38] - David Takes the Spear but Spares Saul
[68:14] - God Is Your Defender
[73:23] - Put the Spear Down
[79:47] - Forgive Without Moving Back In

Bible Study Guide

Bible Reading

1 Samuel 18:6-11
When the victorious Israelite army was returning home after David had killed the Philistine, women from all the towns of Israel came out to meet King Saul. They sang and danced for joy with tambourines and cymbals. This was their song: “Saul has killed his thousands, and David his ten thousands.” This made Saul very angry. “What’s this?” he said. “They credit David with ten thousands and me with only thousands. Next they’ll be making him their king!” So from that time on Saul kept a jealous eye on David. The very next day a tormenting spirit from God overwhelmed Saul, and he began to rave like a madman. David was playing the harp, as he did each day. But Saul had a spear in his hand, and he suddenly hurled it at David, intending to pin him to the wall. But David escaped him twice. [34:05] [37:12] [39:30] [44:10]

Ephesians 4:26-27
“And don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil. [37:43] [38:10]

1 Peter 2:23
He did not retaliate when he was insulted, nor threaten revenge when he suffered. He left his case in the hands of God, who always judges fairly. [01:14:25]

Matthew 6:14-15
“If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.” [01:20:46]

Observation questions

What did Saul hear in the women’s victory song, and what did Saul begin doing toward David afterward? [36:47]
What steps can be seen in Saul’s story between anger, a jealous eye, and throwing the spear at David? [41:01]
In David’s first chance to harm Saul, what did David take, what troubled his heart afterward, and where did David go when Saul went home? [53:08]
During the second encounter, what did Abishai urge David to do, and what did David choose to take instead? [01:04:08]

Interpretation questions

Saul treated a song of national victory as a personal threat. How can jealousy cause a person to turn another person’s faithfulness, success, or even silence into supposed evidence against them? [45:46]
Ephesians says anger can give the devil a foothold. What is the difference between recognizing that anger is real and allowing anger to control the heart over time? [38:05]
David had an open opportunity to kill Saul, and even had others encouraging him to do it. Why does an opportunity that seems perfectly arranged not always mean God is giving permission to act? [01:06:19]
David forgave Saul but did not return to Saul’s palace. What does this show about the difference between forgiveness, reconciliation, restored trust, and wise boundaries? [01:19:47]

Application questions

Is there a person you have begun to view through a bitter or suspicious lens? What actions, words, or silence have you been treating as proof that your verdict about them is true? [45:46]
Think about a recent conflict at home, work, church, or online. Have you judged the other person mainly by their actions while judging yourself mainly by your intentions? What would it look like to own your words honestly? [46:13]
What is one “spear” you are tempted to throw right now—an accusation, a cutting comment, a social-media post, retelling a story, withdrawing in resentment, or trying to get even? What would putting that spear down look like this week? [01:10:09]
Is there a hurt you keep replaying because releasing it feels like letting the other person off the hook? How might it change things to place that wrong before God, who judges fairly? [01:13:29]
Is there a relationship where forgiveness may be needed, but closeness or trust would not be wise right now? What safe and truthful boundary could help you forgive without pretending that nothing happened? [01:20:04]
When false assumptions or accusations are made about you, what usually makes you want to become your own defender? What would trusting God with your case look like in a practical response? [01:08:14]
Where can you already see that God has carried you through a painful chapter? Without calling the wrong thing good, what gratitude might grow as bitterness is released? [01:22:09]

Sermon Clips

55s

#GodIsMyAvenger

“Again, David being pursued by Saul and God provided the opportunity to kill him twice, but he he also had people whispering in his ear to do it. How many of you know that well meaning people can give you advice that doesn't actually align with God's will for your life? Like, do know that. Right? David had ample opportunity to get revenge, he'd learned a lesson that god is his avenger. Church, god is my defender. I am not. Some of you really struggle with forgiving people. Yes. I know what they did to you is heinous and maybe even evil. Forgiveness is not saying that it doesn't matter anymore. Rather, it's saying that it actually deserves a higher court than anything that I could provide.”

44s

#ForgiveForYourGood

“Some of you were handed a bible verse that told reconcile with someone who never repented. That would be First Samuel 24 without verse 22. David didn't go back. He went to his own stronghold. Twice David forgave Saul and the distance grew both times. Forgiveness is your part and you can do that today. Reconciliation takes two and that may actually never come. It's not your fault, but you can put the spear down and still not move back in.”

79s

#AngerGivesFoothold

“God did not install the anger. God did not install the bitterness. That bitterness actually opened a door that something else walked through. Now we just finish up a long sermon series through Ephesians, but so many of you are familiar with this these couple of verses. But Ephesians four twenty six through 27 says this, and don't let anger control you. Don't sin by letting anger control you. And don't let the sun go down while you're still angry for anger gives a foothold to the devil. Church, we have to remember that anger left unchecked will open a door. Allow a foothold to the devil. I want you to think about how foolish it would be to have his foot in the doorway and then keep trying to close it. Like, why won't this door close? Because you have your foot in there. And the bible tells us that what that foot is is actually your anger. Your anger gives Satan a foothold. It allows an opportunity for Satan to walk in. And that is exactly what we see here with Saul. Saul's anger did the same thing.”

41s

#LayItAtGodsFeet

“I understand and I think God does too that sometimes it is hard. What's the direction? Is the direction in alignment with God or is the direction towards sin? I will never. God is not standing over you with a stopwatch and with a deadline. He will walk you through it, but he won't let you call that wall righteous. Can I encourage you to come and lay that thing down at God's feet? Trust him. And ask for strength to forgive if that's what you need.”

80s

#LetGodBeYourDefender

“I have a better answer. Boom. I could I could I could fix it. I could blow that thing right out of the water. It was hard to just sit back. Did I just tell you years later? Like, I had different people coming to me and say, Dan, we heard this and this and this, but we knew better. We knew better. We knew it wasn't true. And I'm thankful that it was years later because then I was able to reflect and and and realize that, yeah, god was faithful. I didn't have to be my own lawyer. Here's the leadership lesson that every leader must learn. If you are truly led by God and you face resistance, are you willing to let God be your defender? Like, are you willing to just sit back and say, hey, I'm just satisfied with following God. All the rest of that stuff will figure itself out. Here's what I'm really asking you is, are you willing to put the spear down?”

57s

#ForgivenessFreesYou

“Forgiveness is actually something that god commands us that we do. Again, reconciliation takes two people. Forgiveness takes one. A lot of times people don't wanna forgive someone because it feels like we're letting them off the hook, and it just doesn't feel good. But here's the problem. Forgiveness actually frees you, not them. In fact, you know this, but most people that you people that are on or that hold unforgiveness, most of the time, other people don't even know it. They're like, what? I man, I don't even remember that thing.”

48s

#ForgiveWithoutReconciling

“You know this, but it's entirely possible to go hug someone and hold and tell them they forgive them and still hold on to unforgiveness. Lastly, forgiveness does not necessarily mean reconciliation. You can forgive without things going back to the way they were. David forgave, and then he went to his own stronghold. He did not go back to the palace. He didn't pretend like nothing had ever happened. And then two chapters later, he again is offered another chance for revenge. So here's point number three, steal the spear.”

47s

#ForgivenessIsADecision

“The problem is most people don't really understand where forgiveness is. So I wanna explain it to you this way. Do you know what the opposite of forgiveness is? It's not hatred, which I think is probably what we would all think. Counterfeit forgiveness is a lot like false peacemaking. It does none of what true forgiveness does. Forgiveness is a decision, not a feeling. Oh, that makes it harder. Because I'd rather feel like forgiving because that's a little easier to generate.”

80s

“I have a better answer. Boom. I could fix it. I could blow that thing right out of the water. It was hard to just sit back. And I'll tell you years later? Like, I had different people coming to me and say, Dan, we heard this and this and this, but we knew better. We knew better. We knew it wasn't true. And I'm thankful that it was years later because then I was able to reflect and and and realize that, yeah, god was faithful. I didn't have to be my own lawyer. Here's the leadership lesson that every leader must learn. If you are truly led by God and you face resistance, are you willing to let God be your defender? Like, are you willing to just sit back and say, hey, I'm just satisfied with following God. All the rest of that stuff will figure itself out. Here's what I'm really asking you is, are you willing to put the spear down?”

Ask a question about this sermon

Union City Wesleyan Church This sermon · AI assistant

What gives Satan a foothold in a believer?

How does forgiveness differ from reconciliation?

When does God permit torment rather than cause it?