Forgive from the Heart: Reconciliation and Church Discipline

If you refuse, as Jesus says, there is no place for you in the kingdom of God, so also my heavenly father will do to every one of you. If you do not forgive your brother, he will cast you out. That's terrifying because he, the king who is full of compassion and mercy, will not allow those who hate compassion and mercy into his kingdom. That's what makes him a good God, a good king. He refuses to let wickedness into his kingdom. And that's a wonderful thing for those who are in his kingdom. All right? He refuses to allow wickedness in. And my friends, what did he call his servant who refused to forgive? You wicked servant. [00:33:16] (38 seconds)  #NoRoomForUnforgiveness

See, it's telling that Jesus points to the heart. He says, you must forgive from the heart, from the heart, because that is where forgiveness truly comes from, right? He's been trying to help us understand forgiveness is not some empty action, some sort of religious ritual that you do in order to get God to forgive us. Because in some sense, that's how Peter is feeling forgiveness. God, if I forgive seven times, I've completed it. Check. You now, therefore now owe me forgiveness. It is an empty ritual devoid of the grace that was actually given. He says, you need to forgive from the heart, meaning you need to experience the forgiveness of God in order to forgive truly. [00:31:03] (40 seconds)  #ForgiveFromTheHeart

The gospel pressed up against it says, look at how you've hurt your God and look at how he's forgiven you. Look at what you owed God and look how he paid it back in full for you. The gospel quiets these voices and says, look at what your king has done for you. If you've received mercy, you must give mercy. My friends, unless you've truly understood what you received in the gospel, you will not understand forgiveness. I finish with two things. Two things to consider. First off, if you've refused to forgive, if you refuse to forgive your brother or your sister, perhaps, my friends, this is a sign that you have not actually received the grace of the gospel. [00:32:22] (39 seconds)  #GospelMotivatesForgiveness

Now, the man, the servant, seeing his fate, falls on his knees and he pleads for mercy. He says, have patience on me and I will pay you everything. Now, you can do some math. I can do some math. There's no way in a hundred lifetimes this guy could ever repay his debt. It's an empty promise. He's grasping for straws. He knows there's no way he could ever do it. And so, he just says, he's throwing everything out there. I'm going to pay you everything. Just give me a chance. Have mercy on me. And amazingly, it works. The king has pity on him. And not only does he forgive the man, not only does he release him, he actually forgives his debt. [00:27:35] (39 seconds)  #KingForgivesTheDebt

That means we need to take daily steps towards healing. And you can only do that if you are daily reminded of the grace that you have received in the gospel. See, it's when we forget the price paid on our behalf that we slide right back into the first servant's mindset. We become bitter. We become self-righteous. We think, ah, you don't deserve my forgiveness, my grace. But the gospel says, no, no, no. You do not deserve the grace and mercy of your Lord. And therefore, we can work on this. We can chip away at these chains. We begin to lose sight of our own pride. [00:39:03] (40 seconds)  #DailyGraceForHealing

You should not approach them in order to strike them down. You should not lash out in your pain in order to get them back. Jesus knows who we are. Honestly, I think we all know how well these conversations go when we go in with the attitude of, I'm going to get even. Rarely does it go well. But when we are approached with a heart that longs to make things right, with a heart that longs to reconcile, those walls, those protective, defensive walls that we usually put up around ourselves, they come crumbling down. [00:06:10] (28 seconds)  #ReconcileDontRetribute

And yet it is the biblical call to be intimately involved in each other's lives, so much so that we would be willing to have the difficult conversations with one another. My friends, this needs to be a rebuke of our individualism. Are you responsible for those sitting next to you? Alas, the third thing is that the church, the idea of church discipline is biblical. Now, we're not to use this opportunity to seek out each other, to shame each other, or to use their brokenness in a way to fuel our self-righteousness. But rather, in the same way, our church discipline is to carry that singular purpose of reconciliation, restoration, to bring back the sinner into the fold. [00:15:39] (40 seconds)  #ChurchDisciplineForRestoration

When you receive God's forgiveness, his mercy and his grace, we are so transformed that we can't help but forgive others. Meaning this king looked upon his servant and says, look at what I've done for you. How could you not do the same for those in your midst? My friends, this is what it looks like to be, to truly forgive your brother from your heart. It is to press the gospel up against your stubborn hearts, which cry out for blood. Your hearts which say, that person's hurt me. I need to hurt them back. They owe me. I need to be paid back in full. [00:31:51] (31 seconds)  #ForgiveBecauseYouWereForgiven

But what we're called to do here is actually to be involved in each other's lives, to say, hey, I want to know you. I want to know what's going on. How are you being grown by the Lord? And I also want to know how to help you walk with the Lord, how to also call you out if needed. Some of us say, it's my faith. It's between me and God. It's no one's business. And my friends, that is a lie. We are responsible for one another, and we must be involved. Yes, it's inconvenient. It's uncomfortable. [00:15:06] (33 seconds)  #BeResponsibleForOneAnother

Don't hope that they'll sense your mild sense of dissatisfaction as they talk to you and think, oh, maybe I hurt them. Maybe I should go talk to this person. He says, no, you go. You seek them out. Right? If they come in and ask you, how are you doing? Don't say, I'm fine. When things are clearly not fine. Now, I might get in trouble for this, but in the household, husbands and wives, if one of you ask the other one, how are you doing? If you're not fine, don't say fine. [00:03:50] (29 seconds)  #BeHonestDontSayFine

Now, second is the church, we, need to be involved in each other's lives. Now, this is not a call for meddling. This does not mean that you need to know what's going on in every other single person's lives, but it does mean that we need to actually seek to be involved in our spheres, whether it's our small groups, our fellowships. We need to actually know the people we are around. Now, this is hard because we are actually very individualistic people in an individualistic society, and we've kind of abandoned this responsibility for one another. [00:14:18] (30 seconds)  #InvolvedNotMeddlesome

One instance, a brother I had intentionally hurt with my dismissive attitude was bold enough to call me out on it. But he didn't come in with harshness, but actually he came in to offer peace, and he even offered his own apologies for the ways he had contributed to the conflict. He came in with humility, and he actually led me to realize how unkind I had been with my words. In another instance, a sister came and made me aware of how I had hurt her with my silence. Even though I had done so unintentionally, she had showed me how it had affected her and harmed her, and she came in humbly seeking to help me understand what she was going through. [00:07:33] (36 seconds)  #HumbleConfrontationTransforms